We tend to focus on emotions that are troublesome, but there are many emotions that are good—emotions that promote health, contentment, joy, productivity, and a sense of well-being. Without those emotions, it would be a dull, dull world. Yes, many emotions need to be managed, but many of them can be a source of enjoyment. The first example of a positive emotion that comes to mind is happiness. I believe the main thing everyone wants in life is to be happy. No matter what our pursuits are, we hope they bring us happiness.
If a person works hard to accomplish goals, she does it because it makes her feel happy. My daughter Sandra is a highly organized woman. She told me once that when she can check everything off her list as being done, it makes her feel really happy. Frequently when we talk by phone and I ask her what she is doing, she says, “Organizing.” I am a little different from my daughter. I love for things to be organized, but I prefer not to be the one who organizes them. My assistant is good at organizing. I can give her a pile of all kinds of stuff and say, “Get this organized somewhere so I can actually look on a shelf and see what I have.” I pay her to organize so I can be happy.
I believe things being well organized gives us a sense of order and peace, and that produces a sense of calm as well as happiness. Chaos, on the other hand, leaves us confused and unhappy. God is a God of order, not confusion. If your surroundings are chaotic, I’d venture to guess that other parts of your life are out of order too. I suggest you get organized. If you just can’t seem to do it yourself, you might pay someone to do it, or find a friend or relative who actually loves the task of organizing and ask them for help. You can “barter” with them and in turn help them with something you’re especially good at.
What do you do that makes you happy? People go on vacations hoping to buy a little happiness. Sometimes they even go into debt to buy a week’s worth of happiness, and then when the bills come in, they aren’t happy anymore. Some of the things we purchase are needs, but many are just things we think will make us happy. People worldwide stand at merchandise counters right now, waiting to pay for something they think or hope will make them happy.
We get married hoping it will make us happy, and after a while some get divorced hoping it will make them happy. People often change jobs searching for happiness. We even do things we don’t like doing, just so we can be happy with the end result. A woman may not like to clean house, but she looks at her clean house and feels happy, so week after week she cleans it. Actually, I cannot think of anything we do that does not have happiness as a motivator. There are many things that make me happy, but I have found that obeying God is the number one thing that makes me happy. When I am flowing with God I have a deep contentment that nothing else compares to. I may not always like what He asks me to do or not to do, but if I resist and rebel, I will not be happy down deep in my soul; and if I obey, I will be happy.
Sadly, many people don’t obey God and then frantically wear themselves out trying to get or buy happiness some other way. No matter what we own, we will not be happy if doing God’s will is not a priority in our lives.
I think some people have a perception that Christianity is stern, severe, and joyless. That’s because many who call themselves Christians have sour attitudes and sad faces. They are critical of others and quick to judge. Those of us who love and serve God and His Son, Jesus Christ, should be the happiest people on earth. We should be able to enjoy everything we do, simply because we know that God is present. It was a great day for me when I finally discovered through studying the Bible that God wants us to enjoy our lives. In fact, He sent Jesus to ensure that we would be able to (see John 10:10). Our joy makes God happy!
Happiness is an emotion that fosters well-being, and I believe it is contagious. One of the best ways to witness to others about Jesus is to be happy and enjoy all that we do. Since everyone simply wants to be happy, if they see that being a Christian will produce happiness, they will be open to learning about and receiving Jesus themselves.
There are many emotions we have to resist, but happiness is not one of them! So go ahead and be as happy as you can possibly be.
Excitement, zeal, and passion are also positive emotions. They energize us to press forward in our pursuits. The Bible instructs us to be zealous and enthusiastic as we serve the Lord (see Rom. 12:11). In Revelation 3:19, God instructs us to even be enthusiastic and burning with zeal when He chastises or corrects us. Why should we do that? Simply because He expects us to trust that everything He does is for our ultimate good.
I make a point of trying to be excited about each day that God gives me. The psalmist David said this: “This is the day which the Lord has brought about; we will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24). Good emotions come from good decisions and good thoughts. For years I got up each day and waited to see how I felt, then I let those feelings dictate the course of my day. Now, I set my mind in the right direction and make decisions that I know will produce emotions I can enjoy.
For years I got up each day and waited to see how I felt, then I let those feelings dictate the course of my day. Now, I set my mind in the right direction and make decisions that I know will produce emotions I can enjoy.
I wasted enough years of my life letting negative and even poisonous emotions control me, and I refuse to do it any longer. Each day I decide to enjoy the day, to be excited about whatever I do and do it with zeal and enthusiasm. I make a decision every day to be content! I won’t be able to carry out my decision if I don’t set my mind and keep it set in the right direction. I firmly believe that feelings follow decisions.
Most of our days are rather ordinary. We all have moments in life that are amazing, but a lot of life is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and back to Monday all over again. Two weeks ago I stood in front of 225,000 people in Zimbabwe preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ and teaching the Word of God. It was my birthday, and 225,000 people sang “Happy Birthday” to me and that was rather cool. Yesterday I went to the Target store to buy new kitchen rugs and then to the grocery store, but I can honestly say that I enjoyed Zimbabwe and the grocery store equally. Zimbabwe was a once-in-a-lifetime event that was exciting, and one I will never forget, but having another day to enjoy God is also exciting, even if the day is spent doing errands. God’s presence makes life exciting if we have a proper understanding of life as a whole. Everything we do is sacred if we do it unto the Lord and we believe that He is with us. Ask yourself right now if you truly believe that God is with you. If your answer is yes, just think about how amazing that is, and my guess is that your enjoyment will increase immediately.
I believe the psalmist David discovered the secret to enthusiasm. He simply decided and declared, “This is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it.” The “I will” says it all. He made a decision that produced the feelings he wanted rather than waiting to see how he felt.
Optimism is an attitude we can adopt that will produce anticipation and joy. Living with positive expectation is a lovely thing. Optimism takes a very gray day and paints it with beautiful color. Anticipation and expectation wait with an attitude that something good is about to happen at any moment. What are you expecting today and tomorrow, or, for that matter, what are you expecting out of life? The psalmist David said that he did not know what would have become of him had he not believed that he would see the Lord’s goodness while he was still alive (see Psalm 27:13).
The feeling or emotion of anticipation is good, so go ahead and expect God to show Himself strong on your behalf. Anticipation is the opposite of hopelessness, and I personally believe hopelessness is the worst feeling in the world. We have to have a reason to get up each day. Hopeless people become depressed. Everything in their lives seems dark and gloomy. God wants us to live in Technicolor. His desire is to be good to us, but we must be expecting His goodness in faith. Some people might think it humble to expect nothing, but I think it is unbiblical. We don’t deserve anything, but God is good and kind and He wants to give us good things anyway. Isaiah 30:18 states that God is looking to be gracious, to have mercy and show loving-kindness, and those who wait for Him to do that are blessed indeed. What are you waiting for? Are you a “get out of bed and see what happens” person? Or do you get up each day with an optimistic view of anticipation, expectation, and joy?
A feeling of being relaxed is wonderful. Being nervous, tense, and worried is not wonderful, so why aren’t more people relaxed? Jesus said if we are weary and overburdened, we should go to Him and He will give us rest, relaxation, and ease (see Matt. 11:28–29). Jesus wants to teach us the right way to live, which is different from the way most of the world lives.
It would be putting it mildly to say that I was an uptight woman for the first half of my life. I simply did not know how to relax, and it was due to my not being willing to completely trust God. I trusted God for things, but not in things. I kept trying to be the one in control. Even though God was in the driver’s seat of my life, I kept one hand on the wheel just in case He took a wrong turn. Relaxation is impossible without trust! Dave is the most relaxed individual I have ever met. Part of it may be his God-given temperament, but most of it is his faith in God. Dave truly believes that no matter what happens in our lives, God will take care of it, and that enables him to relax.
We have even discovered that God can and will fix our mistakes and make them work for our good if we keep praying and trusting Him. All things are possible with God. If you know you can’t fix the problem you have, then why not relax while God is working on it? It sounds easy, but it took many years for me to be able to do this. I know from experience that the ability to relax and go with the flow in life is dependent upon our willingness to trust God completely.
If things don’t go your way, instead of being upset, you can believe that getting your way was not what you needed. God knew that, so He gave you what was best for you, instead of what you wanted. The minute you do that, your soul and body relax, and you will be able to enjoy life.
If you are waiting much longer than you had hoped to in some situation, you can get frustrated, angry, and upset, or you can say, “God’s timing is perfect; He is never late. And my steps are ordered by the Lord.” Now you can relax and simply go with the flow of what is happening in your life. Of course there are things we need to resist, such as evil and the temptation to behave in an ungodly way. But when it comes to things that are out of our control, we can either ruin the day or relax and enjoy it while God is working on the situation. As long as we believe, God keeps working!
I believe we are created for connection. God wants us to be able to connect with and feel close to other people, which is one of the great joys of life. Sadly, it can also be a source of pain, making it easy to become aloof and detached. We think we are protecting ourselves, but the pain of loneliness and isolation is much worse than the pain of relationship.
I did not trust anyone after fifteen years of being sexually abused by my father and experiencing unfaithfulness from my husband in my first marriage. My motto was, “If you don’t let anyone into your life, they cannot hurt you.” It seemed to work for a while, but then I realized I was lonely and missing a lot in life that could be enjoyed only with other people. Even though I was with people in my home, at work, and at church, I never really entered in, but remained aloof and detached. I participated only if I could be in control of the situation, because then I felt safe. I am sure that many of you know exactly what I am talking about.
The ability to connect with others cannot happen if one of the parties is trying to control the other. We are not created by God to be controlled; therefore, we will always resent it. Eventually people get tired of being controlled, and begin to prefer relationships where they have the freedom to be who they are and make some of the decisions that need to be made. If you have a tendency to want to control people and situations so you don’t get hurt, I strongly encourage you to give it up and learn how to do relationships God’s way.
As I grew in my relationship with God, He taught me that I needed to trust people and be vulnerable even though I would get hurt from time to time. He promised me that when I was hurt He would heal me and enable me to go on and try again. I have been deeply hurt from time to time by people I was in relationship with, but I refused to let it make me bitter and suspicious. Love makes allowances for the weaknesses and flaws of others. People certainly are not perfect, but in the end, they are worth the effort. Few things on earth compare to the joy and benefits of a close, connected relationship with another human being.
You can feel close to people if you will choose to open your heart to them and if you are willing to go through the difficulties we all encounter when developing good relationships. I believe that when we have a problem in a relationship but we resolve to work through it, in the end the bond is made closer than it was before. Too many people give up at the first hint of difficulty. They have resolved to never get hurt again, and that decision prevents them from the joy of close friendships and intimacy with their spouses and other family members.
I want to stress again that we cannot have closeness if we are not willing to go through some pain. People simply are not perfect, and we do make mistakes. It is the willingness to forgive and go on that makes relationships strong.
The feeling of being connected and close to others definitely goes under the heading of “Good Emotions.” I knew a man who never in his life allowed himself to be close to anyone; he died lonely, and nobody misses him. That is a sad ending to a life. He missed it all and doesn’t get a do-over. The Bible says that we have one opportunity to live and then comes judgment (see Heb. 9:27), so I think we should try to make the one opportunity we have count.
It is wonderful to feel empathy for others who are hurting, oppressed, or being mistreated in any way. I absolutely hate to see people hurting with no one to help them. God feels compassion for and takes action to help those who are hurting, and we should too. True compassion begins with a feeling that becomes so intense it moves us to action.
One of the sweetest examples of this behavior took place at the Seattle Special Olympics in 1976. Nine young competitors, all mentally or physically disabled, assembled at the starting line for the 100-yard dash. At the sound of the gun, they all started running toward the finish line—all except one little boy, who stumbled and fell and began to cry.
One by one, the other children stopped and looked back. Then each one of them turned around, walked toward the little boy, and gathered around, comforting him. A little girl leaned down and kissed his skinned knee, saying, “This will make it better.”
All nine children stood up, linked arms, and walked toward the finish line together. That day a stadium full of able-bodied spectators learned about what really makes us happy.
I believe Satan is on a mission to desensitize us to the pain other people go through. It seems that all we hear on television or read in the papers is about some terrible thing someone has done to someone else. It has become so commonplace that we can be guilty of not even paying much attention to it. Dave remembers when the first paperboy was robbed in St. Louis where we live. He said the entire city was shocked that such a thing could happen. Now, because of such extreme violence, a paperboy being robbed wouldn’t even be worthy of mentioning in the news.
I will give them one heart [a new heart] and I will put a new spirit within them; and I will take the stony [unnaturally hardened] heart out of their flesh, and will give them a heart of flesh [sensitive and responsive to the touch of their God].
(Ezekiel 11:19)
This scripture means a lot to me because I was a hard-hearted person due to the abuse I had suffered in the earlier years of my life. This Bible verse gave me hope that I could change. God gives us things in seed form and we must work with the Holy Spirit to bring them to full maturity. This is much like the fruit of the Spirit, which is in us but needs to be watered with God’s Word and developed through use.
As believers in Jesus, we have tender hearts, but we can become hard-hearted if we are not careful in this area. I find that taking the time to really think about what people are going through in their particular situations helps me to have compassion. Jesus was moved by compassion, and we should be also. Moved to pray, or help in some way.
Empathy is a beautiful emotion and thankfully one we don’t have to resist!
Let’s learn to resist evil emotions that poison our lives and embrace those we can enjoy and that will bring glory to God. Emotions are a gift from God; in fact, they’re a large part of what makes us human. Without them, life would be dull, and we’d be like robots. Because emotions are a vulnerable part of us, Satan seeks to take advantage and make what God intended to be a good thing into an evil thing.
I like to try to imagine all the enjoyable emotions that Adam and Eve had in the garden prior to allowing sin to enter the world. I am sure it was wonderful indeed. But when they fell into sin, their emotions fell with them. Jesus has redeemed every part of us, including our emotions. It must have been wonderful to never experience guilt, fear, hatred, jealousy, or worry—to not even have to resist any of the ugly emotions we deal with today. But even though we have to resist those emotions, we can still be free from them through Jesus Christ.
God’s desire is that you enjoy the life He has provided for you, and that is impossible to do unless you learn how to control your feelings instead of letting them control you.
With God’s help, you can do it!