BRYNA was glad when the holiday period was over and she could get back to work, away from the oppression of living with Raff.
As promised, he had let her move back into her own bedroom, but he had arrogantly offered no explanation to anyone who might be curious about this abrupt estrangement between husband and wife.
Her parents had gone back to Scotland, Paul had returned to his flat, and she had helped Kate move in with Brenda, still having misgivings about the advisability of the latter. But Raff made it obvious he didn’t wish to discuss his daughter, or anything else, with her.
They were living like complete strangers only ten days after their wedding, not bothering to make polite conversation even over dinner now. In fact, the strain at the dinner table had been so intense that the last two evenings Bryna had asked for a tray in her bedroom. As far as she was aware Raff hadn’t even noticed her absence!
‘Get me Mr Stevens on the telephone, Gilly,’ she requested as soon as she walked into her office on her first day back at work.
She leafed listlessly through the mail Gilly had left on the desk for her attention as she waited for the call to come through. She had been longing to speak to Court, to see what he made of Raff’s ridiculous accusations, ever since Raff had hurled them at her, but she knew that if she had called him from the house and Raff found out about it—! Well, there was enough friction between them already.
She snatched up the receiver as soon as the telephone rang. ‘Court?’ she said breathlessly.
‘Bryna?’ He sounded surprised to hear from her.
Which wasn’t surprising if Raff had launched the same accusations at him that he had at her! ‘Court, we have to talk,’ she told him without prevarication.
‘My God, he didn’t upset you with his fantasies in your condition, did he?’ he returned disgustedly.
‘I can’t seem to convince him they are fantasies,’ she confirmed shakily, feeling like crying after the last days of tension.
‘Bryna, he—he hasn’t hurt you, has he?’ Court demanded concernedly.
‘No, of course not,’ she protested the suggestion. Raff was a very physical man, who could display displeasure as easily as he could give pleasure, but she was sure he would never use violence on a woman. ‘I just need to talk to someone who understands how I feel.’
‘Thank God for that,’ said Court with obvious relief. ‘Okay, Bryna, how about lunch?’
They made the arrangement to meet at the restaurant before Bryna rang off to get caught up in the rush of the day; she had plenty to do after the long Christmas and New Year break. She was glad of the hectic pace of the morning, she had felt as if her life had plummeted completely out of control since the night Raff had accused her of having an affair with Court. With any luck she could continue to work until the day the baby was born!
Court gave her a searching look when she joined him at their table. ‘I know you’re supposed to tell a pregnant woman how radiant she looks, but you don’t look at all well, Bryna,’ he frowned as they both sat down.
She knew the truth of that; she rarely slept and had a complete lack of appetite, knowing that both things showed in her lacklustre hair and shadowed eyes. Her pregnancy was becoming very noticeable as she lost weight and the baby inside her grew, the loose dress she wore doing little to hide that fact.
‘It’s Raff and this stupid idea he has that we had an affair,’ she sighed, shaking her head when the waiter enquired if she would like a drink, her fingers moving nervously against the tablecloth.
‘When did he tell you about that?’ All the laughter had been erased from Court’s face and eyes, his own strain very evident.
She shrugged. ‘When we got to bed after spending Christmas Day with our families. He——’
‘Trust Raff to at least take his damned wedding night before alienating you!’ he said disgustedly.
‘But he didn’t! I mean, we didn’t,’ she amended with a blush. ‘We have this agreement, you see——’
‘What sort of an agreement can a newly married couple have that involves them not making love on their wedding night?’ Court looked dumbfounded.
Bryna signed. ‘The sort of agreement where the father wants complete rights to his as yet unborn child.’
‘And that’s the only reason he married you?’ Court realised incredulously.
Her gaze lowered to the snowy white tablecloth, absently realising that she had badly creased the crisp linen with the constant pleatings of her restless fingers. ‘The only reason,’ she confirmed huskily.
Court leant back in his chair with an angry sigh. ‘You would have been better off fighting him for custody in court!’
‘I think that’s the reason Raff married me so quickly and then didn’t tell me what he believed about the two of us until I was safely his wife,’ she told him dully.
‘The damned fool,’ said Court angrily. ‘Why on earth is he throwing your relationship away?’
Bryna shook her head. ‘He says he has proof, that the two of us were seen dining together.’
‘Business meetings,’ he claimed instantly.
‘I told him that, but——’
‘He didn’t believe you,’ Court bit out. ‘Telling me about his suspicions at the wedding was one thing, but I had no idea he was going to make you unhappy with them too. I would have come to the house even though I wasn’t welcome, if I’d known.’
Her mouth twisted ruefully. ‘He would have thrown you out, literally. But Kate asked after you——’
‘I’ve seen her,’ he nodded grimly.
‘You have?’ Bryna looked at him in surprise; Kate had come home for dinner three nights ago—the last time Bryna had eaten with Raff—and she had given no indication that she had seen her Uncle Court.
He shrugged. ‘She telephoned me and we had dinner together last night. Don’t look so worried, Bryna,’ he drawled. ‘Raff may not want to know me any more, but I’ve known those kids so long that sometimes I feel as if they’re mine!’
Knowing what she did about him she could understand how he felt about the children of his best friend. ‘They’re very fond of you too,’ she nodded.
He gave an indulgent smile. ‘Kate is enjoying sharing a flat.’
‘Raff doesn’t approve,’ Bryna frowned. ‘He only agreed to let her go so that she shouldn’t realise we were living in the same house but apart.’
‘The fool!’ rasped Court. ‘What the hell is the matter with him?’ he added angrily.
‘I don’t know,’ she said shakily. ‘It all seems to come back to the fact that for some reason he believes the two of us are having an affair.’
‘If I didn’t know better I would say he was jealous,’ Court frowned.
‘Impossible!’ Bryna gave a scathing laugh. ‘If it weren’t for the baby I would be out of his life and forgotten by now!’
‘Hm,’ murmured Court. ‘It was because of Kate and Paul that he and Josey stayed together as long as they did.’
‘Yes,’ she acknowledged dully. ‘Now he intends for us to have the same unemotional marriage.’
‘It doesn’t sound to me as if he wants you to take a lover,’ Court derided.
She looked at him searchingly. ‘You know about the relationship he and Josey had?’
‘That they both had lovers?’ he nodded. ‘I think everyone knew except Kate and Paul. I can’t believe that Raff would settle for that half-marriage again.’
‘It isn’t a question of settling for anything,’ she told him heavily. ‘He wants his child. And so do I!’
Court looked at her closely. ‘You love him, don’t you? Of course you do,’ he said self-derisively. ‘Why else would you have married him?’ His hand covered hers comfortingly.
Bryna shook her head. ‘Believe me, Court, if I had any choice I would never have become his wife. But he more or less threatened to take my child away from me if I didn’t agree.’
‘You——’
‘Hello, darling,’ greeted a smoothly controlled voice, and Bryna’s stricken gaze raised to meet the coldly furious one of her husband. ‘I told you I would try to get here, didn’t I?’ he added lightly.
Bryna knew that the last was added for their audience, that he didn’t want anyone to realise his wife was having lunch with another man without his knowledge.
Oh God, she thought, how much of her conversation with Court had Raff overhead! Certainly the part about her having no choice but to marry him, if the angry glitter of his eyes was anything to go by, but he didn’t look as if he had also heard Court claim she was in love with him, Raff.
Court sat back in his chair as he released her hand, relaxed and in control. ‘Why don’t you join us?’ he invited politely.
‘Unfortunately I’m with some business associates,’ Raff bit out. ‘Otherwise, believe me, nothing else would give me greater pleasure than to join the two of you and listen to some more of this fascinating conversation!’
Bryna swallowed hard. He had overheard the part of the conversation where she had expressed regret at having to marry him. And he didn’t look in the mood to be convinced that it was the having to marry him that bothered her, not actually having him as her husband.
‘Don’t cause a scene, Raff——’
‘Believe me, I’m very much in control,’ he glared at the other man. ‘If I wanted to cause a scene I would have punched you in the face and taken back my wife as soon as I came into the restaurant and saw the two of you together!’
Court’s mouth twisted derisively. ‘I thought I was supposed to be the one with the temper?’
Raff looked at him coldly. ‘We all know that’s my child Bryna is carrying,’ he rasped. ‘And I’ve warned her what will happen if she sees you again!’
She paled at the veiled threat. ‘It’s only lunch, Raff——’
‘My wife of ten days lunching with my supposed best friend!’ he scorned, his hands clenched at his sides, although for their audience his expression remained pleasant enough. ‘Most people would say the honeymoon bed hadn’t had time to cool!’
‘The way I heard it it didn’t even get lukewarm!’ Court challenged, his own anger evident now, then he turned to give Bryna an apologetic look as she gasped. ‘I’m sorry, Bryna, but——’
‘That can easily be remedied,’ Raff bit out between clenched teeth. ‘Starting tonight!’
‘Raff, you can’t mean that!’ She looked up at him with haunted eyes, sure that to have him make love to her out of anger would be worse than the charity she had been imagining it would be.
‘Oh, can’t I?’ he challenged, looking at her with disgust. ‘Why don’t we wait and see what I can or can’t do!’
Bryna watched him as he strode across the restaurant to rejoin the people he had obviously arrived with, three men she didn’t recognise, and Stuart Hillier; she wondered what they had all made of his abrupt departure seconds ago.
‘I can’t believe it,’ Court said dazedly. ‘I’ve never seen him like this before.’
She had never seen anyone as angry as Raff had been a few minutes ago. It had been worse than the night nine days ago, worse than all the days since; he had been totally out of control.
‘I thought you said he wasn’t violent.’ Court looked troubled.
‘He isn’t—he hasn’t been,’ she amended, knowing that was no longer true. ‘Oh, Court, what am I going to do?’ she cried.
‘Don’t go back.’ He clasped her hands. ‘I have a spare bedroom at my flat. We could——’
‘I couldn’t stay with you,’ she shook her head. ‘The mood Raff is in, he would kill us both!’
He frowned darkly. ‘Which is exactly why I don’t think you should go back to him!’
She shook her head. ‘He wouldn’t hurt me,’ she claimed shakily.
‘That wasn’t the impression I got just now,’ Court said drily.
Or her! Raff had looked as if he would like to crush her with his bare hands! ‘He’ll have got over his anger by the time he comes home,’ she said with more confidence than she felt. ‘And then we’ll be able to talk.’
Court still looked worried. ‘If you’re sure you’ll be all right …?’
‘Of course I will,’ she dismissed lightly, all the time conscious of the man across the restaurant as he pointedly ignored her and Court in preference of charming his dining companions. And she didn’t doubt that he was aware of her every move! ‘I don’t think I’ll bother with lunch after all——’
‘You and the baby have to eat,’ Court told her firmly. ‘Just ignore him, as he’s ignoring you.’ He signalled the waiter to come and take their order.
It was hard to ignore someone when their disapproving vibrations could be felt across the crowded room, but somehow Bryna managed to eat a small amount of the meal under Court’s indulgent coaxing. The five men were still sitting at their table when she and Court stood up to leave a short time later, and she deliberately kept her face averted, although she sensed Court’s movement as he gave a terse inclination of his head in parting.
She was trembling once they got outside. ‘I’m so sorry you’ve had to be involved in this ridiculous situation,’ she told Court shakily. ‘I just can’t seem to make Raff see sense.’
‘Hm,’ he looked thoughtful. ‘I still wouldn’t rule out jealousy. You know, he——’
‘I would,’ she scorned firmly. ‘Jealous men don’t look at a woman with hate in their eyes!’
‘Maybe not,’ he acknowledged slowly. ‘But if he feels nothing for you why does he still doubt you when you claim our meetings have all been because of business?’ he reasoned.
‘Because I didn’t tell him about them at the time,’ she sighed. ‘I hadn’t been discussing my business with him for some time. You see, he always shut me out when it came to his business affairs, and so I thought if I stopped telling him about mine he would realise how shut out he makes me feel, and then perhaps open up to me a little,’ she explained with a grimace.
‘Oh, my God.’ Court closed his eyes. ‘I recognise my own advice there!’ He looked at her apologetically.
‘Yes,’ she acknowledged ruefully. She and this man had become good friends during her relationship with Raff, and she had often confided in him, realising that he knew Raff much better than she did, than she ever would.
‘I’ll learn to keep my opinions to myself in future,’ he groaned.
She squeezed his arm reassuringly. ‘It was very sound advice,’ she consoled him. ‘Unfortunately, I think the man in question has to be in love with you and sensitive to your feelings for it to work!’
Court gave a grimace of regret. ‘If you need someone to talk to again, just call me.’
Bryna had a feeling that was going to come sooner than she wished!
Raff didn’t come home for dinner, and he didn’t telephone to say he would be late either, leaving her to wonder where he was and who he was with—and some of her conclusions were upsetting, to say the least.
She kept remembering how angry he had been to see her with Court earlier, remembered clearly the reckless glint in his silver eyes. And she knew he was with another woman. Probably the willing—and waiting!—Rosemary Chater.
The looks the other woman had shot at her during the wedding had been positively venomous. How she must be gloating now!
Bryna spent the evening alternating between anger and despair, waiting downstairs in the lounge for Raff to come home.
When he hadn’t arrived shortly after eleven she decided she might as well go to bed; it didn’t look as if he were coming home at all tonight!
She had only been in her room a couple of minutes when she heard the front door open and then slam shut, the sound of running feet on the stairs. Indignation and apprehension shone in her eyes as she turned to the door as it was flung open, her dress gaping at the front where she had just unbuttoned it.
There was a dark flush to Raff’s cheeks as he slowly closed the door, the reckless glitter still evident in his eyes. ‘Ah good, I’m just in time for the floor-show,’ he bit out contemptuously, leaning back against the door to watch her with narrowed eyes, his arms folded across his chest.
Bryna pulled the edges of her unbuttoned dress together. ‘If you want to see a show go to a striptease club!’ she snapped.
He shook his head. ‘The thought of watching some woman I don’t know throw off her clothes in front of a room full of people does nothing for me! Where did you spend the afternoon?’ he suddenly rasped in a lightning change of mood.
She blinked at the attack. ‘At my office,’ she replied grudgingly; what right did he have to question her?—he was the one who had been missing all evening!
‘I called there several times, but you weren’t there,’ he grated accusingly.
Her head went back in challenge. ‘I was unavailable, that’s hardly the same thing.’ She had known of each of his calls and had told Gilly to tell him she was too busy to talk to him. Gilly had looked at her strangely at the request, but Bryna had offered no explanations for her behaviour. If she had even tried she would probably have broken down and cried. And once she started she wouldn’t be able to stop.
She had no intention of breaking down; she intended going on with her life with or without Raff’s love. She had survived the trauma of believing herself infertile, and now that she carried Raff’s child she could surely survive not being loved in return by him.
But not if he continued to treat her with contempt, and demanded his rights in her bed!
‘Unavailable to me only, I’m sure,’ he bit out, moving away from the door to come towards her, the intent in his eyes unmistakable. ‘You couldn’t wait to get to your lover to tell him what a fiasco our marriage is, could you?’ he grated.
‘That isn’t the way it happened,’ she gasped protestingly. ‘I met Court——’
‘To discuss business?’ Raff quoted the past excuses she had given him.
Colour darkened her cheeks. ‘No. Not this time,’ she added quickly as his eyes glittered silver. ‘But in the past, yes,’ she insisted firmly. ‘Today I—I just needed someone to talk to!’
‘And what better choice than your lover?’ he taunted. ‘What a pity neither he nor your secretary are here to tell me you’re unavailable now!’
Bryna didn’t fear his lovemaking, she knew that he could never hurt a woman in that way, but what she did fear was that she would respond to him—and that he would know she did!
She picked up her nightgown. ‘A bathroom door will do as well,’ she told him at the same time as she opened the door and then closed and locked it behind her, hastily moving to lock the other doors before leaning back against the wall, trembling in her apprehension, well aware that if he wanted to he could break the flimsy locks on any of the doors with one forceful kick.
Complete silence followed her escape, and she moved to the door, listening intently.
‘We have all the nights of the rest of our lives, Bryna,’ Raff murmured suddenly against the closed door.
He made it sound like a prison sentence!