How many roundabouts did a city need? Jezmeen wondered as Tom Hanks shouldered the car around another island of landscaped grass. If she weren’t paying such close attention to the street signs and landmarks, she would’ve thought that Tom Hanks was simply caught in an eternal orbit of traffic. Jezmeen didn’t know what good it did to name the street signs as she saw them—she had no sense of orientation in this city, or anywhere else in India, but Chandigarh’s neatly planned streets and landscaped gardens were reassuring. Shirina couldn’t be lost in the depths of this place for too long.
Rajni was watching the city as well. They hadn’t said much to each other for the rest of the journey, and Jezmeen was itching to get out of the car. She needed some distance from all of this history that Rajni had laid bare between them in this tiny space. The news about Anil was taking a while to digest as well. She wondered: if Rajni was going to be a grandmother, then what did that make her? A great-aunt? The title made Jezmeen want to vomit.
“Madam, I think it’s in that shopping center over there,” Tom Hanks said just as a bus wobbled into their lane. Tom Hanks made a hard right, and the shopping center disappeared into the distance.
“Hang on, I’ll make the turn on the next go,” Tom Hanks said. The road was teeming with vehicles, though.
“We need to get there quickly,” said Jezmeen. “Can you just let us hop out here?”
“Where?” Rajni asked. “He can’t just let us out in the middle of the road.”
“He’s going to spend an eternity trying to get back to that side,” Jezmeen said. “We’ll walk and the cars will stop. Look, people do it all the time.”
“No,” Rajni said. “Absolutely not.”
“Rajni, we have to get to Shirina before she goes through with this thing.”
“Your suggestion is that we plunge headfirst into speeding cars on a roundabout in India?”
“It’s all about confidence,” Jezmeen said. “Tom Hanks? We’re getting off here, thank you.”
“No, that’s a very stupid idea—you will both die,” Tom Hanks said calmly. “Just give me a moment.”
Ten minutes later, they had only moved a few feet. Jezmeen sighed and squirmed. “Try calling her again,” Rajni suggested.
“It goes straight to voice mail,” Jezmeen said.
“Just try again. You never know.”
Jezmeen tapped on Shirina’s name and listened to the phone ring once before the automated voice recording politely informed her that Shirina was not available. She wasn’t expecting anything different, so she was surprised to feel a heavy sinking disappointment. Suddenly she wasn’t so sure anymore if Shirina would be so easily retrievable, even in this neatly planned city.
“What if we find her, and she doesn’t want to come with us?” Jezmeen asked Rajni quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“She came all this way,” Jezmeen said. “She spent the entire trip hiding her pregnancy from us, and then she got into a car and headed here on her own. Maybe she doesn’t want to be rescued.”
Rajni frowned. “Why not, Jezmeen?”
“I’m afraid Shirina thinks this is the only way to fix her marriage,” Jezmeen said. “You know how she’s always taken the path of least resistance when it came to any sort of conflicts with family or friends.”
“It won’t be the last sacrifice she makes for them, though,” Rajni said. “That’s just not how it works. If they can get Shirina to do this for them, they’ll keep expecting her to bend to their rules.”
The shopping center came into their view again as Tom Hanks focused on making a precisely timed exit. He cut through a stream of screeching motorcycles and delivered Jezmeen and Rajni expertly into a space that was definitely not for parking. “I’ll wait right here for you,” he said as the car juddered to a halt. “And, madam, it’s going to be okay. Your sister will be relieved to see you. Remember what happened at the end of Captain Phillips.”
All Jezmeen could recall from the end of that movie was Tom Hanks’s character splattered with blood from the Somali pirates who had hijacked his ship. In this analogy, perhaps she and Rajni were the marines who shot them dead. “Thank you,” she said nevertheless as she threw open the door. They were about to storm an obstetrician’s office—any words of encouragement were welcome.
The air was stiff with heat. Jezmeen scanned the shop signs—the bright blue of Domino’s Pizza, the wedding-card business that took up two floors, and the crowded display windows of the kitchen appliances emporium.
“There,” Rajni said, pointing. Jezmeen’s first feeling was relief. The clinic looked legitimate—at the very least, Shirina wasn’t in some dingy tin-roofed shed.
The receptionist’s desk was empty when they pushed through the glass doors and entered the air-conditioned waiting room. “Hello?” Jezmeen called. She looked for a bell at the reception desk but it was bare except for a phone and a green glass penholder. An enormous black-and-white framed photograph of an eye took up half the wall.
“Shirina?” Rajni called. “Are you here?” Her voice was calm but Jezmeen could see the panic on her face. “What if they’ve taken her?”
“Where would they take her?” Jezmeen asked.
“I don’t know,” Rajni said, looking around. “SHIRINA!” she hollered. “IF THEY’RE HOLDING YOU BACK THERE, MAKE A NOISE!”
The door of the clinic opened then, and in walked a harried-looking young woman wearing a creased salwar-kameez. “Oh!” she said. “Do you have an appointment?”
“Our sister is here,” Rajni informed her. “Shirina Arora. She’s here against her will and we’re taking her back.”
The woman stepped around to the reception desk as if Jezmeen and Rajni were a puddle of spilled drink. She typed on her computer for a few moments and then said, “I don’t have a Shirina Arora here. Are you sure her appointment is today?”
“Yes,” Rajni said.
“Try Shirina Shergill,” Jezmeen suggested.
The woman glanced at her screen and shook her head. “We only had two appointments today and they were both over and done with by lunchtime.”
Over and done with. The receptionist was so cavalier about the procedure. “She was supposed to be in here now,” Jezmeen said. “If something has happened, we need to know about it.”
“There was no Shirina here,” the receptionist insisted.
She had clearly been instructed to pretend that Shirina had never walked in through those doors. “I know that certain procedures are off your books, but this is a very serious matter. She didn’t want to do this,” Jezmeen said. “Her husband’s family made her.”
If it was possible to be both irritated and interested, the receptionist’s expression was a perfect combination of the two. “They made her? Why?”
“They’re old-fashioned,” Jezmeen said. “It’s a stupid preference they have. Look, we know she’s here and we know why she’s here, so let’s just cut the charade.”
“Or else we can go back there,” Rajni said, nodding to the glass doors.
“If you trespass, I will call the police,” the receptionist said.
“We should be the ones calling the police,” Rajni retorted. “You have some nerve, performing an illegal procedure and then threatening to have us arrested.”
“What’s illegal about it?” the receptionist asked. “If it’s more convenient for somebody to live the rest of their lives without—”
“More convenient?” Jezmeen said. “Is that how you see it?”
“Yes, more convenient. Women especially are much more confident after undergoing this procedure. Their husbands are also happier. Everything is clearer for them. That’s probably why your sister’s in-laws made her do it.”
Confidence? That was a new one. Jezmeen knew there were many reasons that women were persuaded to give up baby girls but confidence was not one of them. The eye on the wall fixed her with an intense, singular stare. It was a strange choice of portrait for a gynecologist’s clinic, where patients awaited being uncomfortably exposed.
“That’s it, I’m going in there,” Rajni said. She marched past the front desk, ignoring the receptionist’s protests, and pushed the glass doors.
The receptionist went after Rajni, shouting about trespassing. Jezmeen picked a name card off the desk.
Dr. Chopra Eye Centre
Vision Care and LASIK Surgery
Jezmeen was about to call out Rajni’s name when she saw her being led back out the glass doors by the elbow. Rajni shook the woman off. “It was a bit excessive, grabbing me like that,” she huffed after they made their apologies and scurried out of the clinic. “I would have left of my own accord after I saw the vision-testing chart.”
In the car park, Tom Hanks was wiping down his mirrors. He didn’t notice them emerging from the building. The traffic was so heavy now that the roundabout looked like another car park.
“What do we do now?” Jezmeen said. Rajni could sense her panic as she paced the footpath outside the shopping center.
“Let’s try the FindMe app again,” Rajni suggested. Maybe Shirina had enabled it.
“Did we just get the address mixed up?” Jezmeen looked at the card pieces again. “I think the numbers go up in that direction. Thirty-two . . . thirty-four . . .”
“Thirty-six!” Rajni shouted, spotting the clinic sign at the end of the row. “Let’s go.”
She hurried, ignoring the throbbing pain in her ankle. Mum, I’m sorry it turned out to be such a disaster, she thought as she and Jezmeen arrived at the clinic’s entrance. She had wanted at least one trip to India—if not with Mum, then in her memory—to go as planned. She knew that Mum wanted this for her as well. Although it wasn’t written anywhere in the letter, Rajni believed now that Mum wanted her to remember India differently from that place where bad memories were buried.
At the glass doors, Rajni and Jezmeen hesitated. Neither knew how to do this again. It was as if they had spent all of their energy on that last public scene. “Go on,” Jezmeen said, nudging Rajni.
“We’re sure this is the right place?” Rajni asked, looking up again. There was the sign: RESTORATION ROAD WOMEN’S CLINIC. Through the glass, Rajni eyed the receptionist, who sat under a large framed photograph of a pink orchid. There were a lot more people in this waiting room, and Rajni didn’t want to disturb them. For some reason, she decided to knock on the door. The receptionist looked up and beckoned them in.
“Uh, hi, hello,” Rajni said when they entered. She nodded at all of the people in the waiting room as well, as if they were part of the conversation.
“We’re looking for our sister,” Jezmeen said, marching to the front desk. “Shirina Arora. She’s here against her will and WE’RE NOT LEAVING TILL SHE’S OUT OF THERE! SHIRINA, COME OUT! SHIREEEEENAAAA!”
Too much, Rajni thought, but she had to support what Jezmeen was doing. She knocked a pen off the desk and scowled at the receptionist.
“Madam, there is no need to shout,” the receptionist said, standing up. “You are scaring the other patients. Have a seat and calm down, or I will call security.” She glared at Rajni. “And pick up my pen, please.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Rajni mumbled. She picked up the pen and replaced it on the desk, next to a nameplate which read Manjinder Bhatti. There was a couple sitting on the couches who huddled together, watching the scene unfold. The woman held her round belly protectively and her husband stood up for a moment, then sat down, then stood up again. “Look, we’re very worried about our sister, and we need to speak to her right away. I think she’s with Dr. Wadhwa. Would you please give him a call and let her know that we’re here?”
Manjinder regarded Jezmeen and Rajni as if she was trying to decide if they were from a prank television show. The husband took a seat again and clasped his wife’s hand reassuringly.
“Your sister’s name?” Manjinder asked.
“Shirina Arora,” Rajni said.
“Oh, that patient has been and gone already.”
“Left? Like she walked out of here?”
“About ten minutes ago, yes.”
They were too late. Rajni gripped the edge of the receptionist’s desk to steady herself. Jezmeen buried her face in her hands. Rajni heard a sob and wanted to comfort her, but she was too filled with disappointment to offer any words of solace. She thought about the last time she saw Shirina in Amritsar. In her memory, that round belly was so obvious, now that she knew what Shirina was hiding.
Manjinder cleared her throat. “When you see her, can you give her this form, please? She was supposed to sign it and I think she forgot. She was out of here so quickly.”
“Pardon? Does that mean . . . ?” Jezmeen asked. She turned to Manjinder. “Wait, did she have the procedure?”
Manjinder shook her head. She pointed at her screen. “It was a very quick appointment. She left after fifteen minutes.”
They clutched each other’s hands and Jezmeen let out a little whoop of joy.
“Where did the taxi go, do you know?” Rajni asked.
“No idea,” Manjinder said apologetically. “You can’t call her?”
Rajni shook her head. That image of Shirina saying good-bye to her at the hotel stayed in her mind as she and Jezmeen walked out of the clinic. What would she say to Shirina the next time she saw her? Would they see her again, or was this Shirina’s final gesture to shut the door on their family? The pain that accompanied this thought felt all too familiar—it was like Anil saying that nothing could keep him and Davina apart. Whatever happened next, Rajni knew she had to fix things with Anil. She wished she could board that plane now and just see her family again.
Tom Hanks was nowhere to be seen, but the car was parked. Rajni took out her phone to text him. “Why do you think she left? Do you think she knew we were coming?” Jezmeen asked while they waited on the curb.
“What do you mean?” Rajni asked.
“Do you think she knew we were on our way, and she decided to back out before we showed up to stop her from doing the procedure?”
“I don’t know,” Rajni said.
“Or maybe she walked out and decided not to do it?” Jezmeen asked hopefully.
“Maybe.” Rajni sighed. “But either way, she’s not coming back here. Let’s just look for a hotel in Chandigarh and stay here for a day. We can wait for a call from Shirina, or I’ll try calling Sehaj again.”
She was about to put her phone back in her bag when it buzzed. FindMe: Shirina is online.
“Oh my god,” Rajni said. She tapped her screen and saw Shirina’s little dot on the screen. It hovered over Rajni’s and Jezmeen’s dots. She was here? Rajni spun around. At her desk in the clinic, Manjinder was sitting very still, watching them.
“She’s in there,” Rajni said. “She’s in there, Jezmeen, quick!”
As they wrenched the door open again, Manjinder stood up and backed herself against the door that led to the doctor’s room. “Madam, we are under strict orders from the Arora family—”
“I will call the police,” Jezmeen warned Manjinder. “I will tell them that you are holding my sister against her will. Open the door now.”
Manjinder pressed her back against the door and began to shout for help. The couple in the waiting room hurried out of the clinic, leaving Rajni, Jezmeen, and Manjinder alone. They tried to push past her but she was surprisingly strong despite her lithe figure.
“SHIRINA!” Jezmeen shouted, still struggling to get a grip on the doorknob. “SHIRINA, COME OUT!”
“Madam, I’m just doing as I’m told,” Manjinder pleaded as Jezmeen tried to pry her fingers from the doorknob.
“What exactly were you told?” Rajni asked.
“The doctor said Mr. Arora called after he heard that you two were coming, and he said not to let you in under any circumstances. He said you were dangerous, and that your sister doesn’t want to see you.”
Sehaj must have heard Jezmeen when she burst into the hotel room while Rajni was on the phone with him. “Look, if you let go of the door, we’ll take full responsibility. We’ll say we charged in and you didn’t have a chance.” They’d probably say that anyway, Rajni thought, because they weren’t getting anywhere with trying to overpower this woman.
“I can’t,” Manjinder said. “Please, I’ll lose my job.”
There was some movement in the hallway. Rajni saw it first—the opening of a door, a head peeking out curiously and disappearing. That’s enough, she thought. After hitting Jezmeen in the hospital that time, Rajni had been horrified and disgusted with herself, but this was different. She lowered her shoulder and barreled into Manjinder like a bull chasing a waving flag, startling her enough to make her lose her grip on the doorknob. Jezmeen flung open the door and they hurried inside. Manjinder chased after them, shrieking and grasping the belt loop of Rajni’s jeans to pull her back. Jezmeen got ahead first. She tried the doorknob frantically and then pounded on the door with her open palms. “SHIRINA!” she shouted. “SHIRINA, CAN YOU HEAR US?”
Rajni felt the weight of Manjinder’s entire body toppling her to the ground. Her face smacked hard into the floor and a ringing noise filled her ears. All she wanted to do was try to shout encouragement to Jezmeen, but the fall seemed to have knocked the sound out of her windpipes.
She watched helplessly as Jezmeen continued hollering and banging on the door. Manjinder scrambled to her feet to try to pull Jezmeen away, but it was too late. The door opened and out came Shirina, her eyes wide with surprise. When she collapsed into Jezmeen’s arms, Rajni burst into tears.