~Reed~
“Which lights did you like best?” I ask my daughter. We went to the botanical gardens today, and stayed past dark so we could see all of the pretty light displays. Piper couldn’t get enough of it.
“I liked the frogs.” She yawns and nestles her bunny under her chin. I’m tucking her in for the night. We already read through three holiday books, and I should kiss her and go, but I’m feeling extra clingy when it comes to my daughter this weekend.
It’s been a rough few days.
That phone call on Friday fucked me up, big time.
“The frogs had Santa hats on,” I say, smiling. “Do you want me to turn your tree off tonight?”
“No, I like the lights.” She yawns again. “I can see better when I have to tinkle.”
I make a mental note to add a couple nightlights to her bedroom and bathroom after we take down the Christmas decorations.
“Okay, baby. I love you. You know that, right?”
Her eyes are closed as she nods her head.
God, I love her so much, my heart aches with it.
I kiss her forehead and then walk across the hall to where Noel is packing her overnight bag.
“It’s only Saturday night.”
“I know,” she says and shrugs. “I’m not leaving, I’m just organizing. These are dirty clothes.”
“You can wash them here. Hell, I’ll wash them tomorrow when I do mine and Piper’s laundry.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
I cover her hand with mine, stopping her movements. “Look at me.”
She complies, but her eyes are full of tears.
“Baby, what’s wrong?”
“I’ve been asking you the same thing for two days,” she says and wipes a tear away in frustration. “I get that you’re under stress, and I’m guessing your meeting on Monday has messed with your head, but you’ve withdrawn from me, and I don’t know what to do. I’ve been understanding, attentive, all of the things I know to do. But you won’t talk to me, and I feel like you’re pushing me away, and I hate it.”
“Whoa.” I pull her to me, pick her up, and take us over to the sofa in the corner. I sit with her in my arms and brush a strand of hair off her cheek. “I’m not pushing you away. At least, that’s not what I mean to do.”
“You have to talk to me, Reed. Because the past couple of days has me feeling insecure, and that’s not what I want in a relationship. Don’t brush me off when I ask what’s wrong.”
“You’re right.” I sigh and kiss her temple, breathing her in. “It’s not fair to you to do that. I apologize, and I’ll do my best not to do it again in the future. Just call me out on it if I fuck up, okay?”
“Okay. I can do that. Now, talk to me.”
She drags her fingertips down my cheek. That I’ve made Noel feel anything but loved and cared for tears me up inside.
She deserves so much more than that.
“I’m scared out of my mind,” I admit and swallow hard. “Piper’s only been with me for a few months, but she’s mine, you know? I don’t think I could love her more than I do. And the thought that some strangers could come in and just snatch her out of my hands has me debilitated with fear.”
“Reed,” she says with a sigh. “They can’t do that. I don’t know all of the ins and outs of the law here, but Shannon at Cherry Street has a foster daughter, and I’ve learned a little bit about the process from her. Yes, sometimes, the court will give grandparents rights to a child, but Reed, you’re her father. You’ve provided a wonderful home for her, she’s loved and respected. There’s no way a judge would pull her out of your home to give her to people she’s never even met before. They’d only do that if she were in foster care.”
“I know that. I spent the morning researching and making some calls to a couple of clients who happen to be attorneys, not to mention, my own attorney spent an hour on the phone with me. But, Noel, what if something crazy happens? What if the judge is stupid, or the grandparents sue me for custody of her?”
“Then we fight it,” she says fiercely and cups my face in her hands, her eyes pinned to mine. “We fight it with everything we’ve got because the only place in the world that Piper belongs is right here, in this house, with you.”
“You said we.”
“Hell, yes I said we. And those people will know, without a shadow of a doubt, when we walk into that office on Monday that if they think they’re going to try to take Piper from us, they’ll have the biggest fight of their lives on their hands.”
“Wait.” I tip my forehead against hers, absorbing her strength. The fierceness in her face right now is astounding. “You’re coming with me?”
“Of course.” She frowns. “I mean, I was planning to. If you’d rather I not, I understand. It’s really none of my business.”
“Stop talking.” I tilt her chin up and kiss her silly. “Of course it’s your business. It just didn’t occur to me that you’d want to go with me, but I want nothing more in the world than to have you by my side.”
“Then I’ll go.” She smiles happily. “It hurts my heart that you’ve been worrying so much about this, Reed. You’re not going to lose your daughter. There’s just no way.”
“I love you.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. But, damn it, I’m not sorry.
I do love her, and it’s about time I told her.
“And not just for this, but for a million reasons. Thank you, so much, for everything you do for us, and for all the ways you show me what it means to have a partner.”
Her eyes well with tears again.
“Don’t cry.”
“I love you, too,” she says, her chin quivering. “I love you both.”
* * * *
“Thank you for meeting with us,” Ms. Hale says as she greets Noel and me at her office Monday morning.
Sunday was more relaxed, but the worry hasn’t totally left me, despite Noel’s pep talk the other night.
I’m ready to get this meeting over with so we can move on with our lives.
“This is Noel Thompson, and she’ll be with me today,” I reply, leaving no room for argument.
“Hello,” Noel says. We’re led to a conference room where an older couple already sits. They’re both gray-haired but look to be in good health.
“I’m Reed Taylor,” I announce, taking charge of the room. “And this is Noel Thompson, the love of my life.”
Noel gasps and squeezes my hand, then nods at the couple.
“I’m Les, and this is my wife, Betsy.” They both shake our hands, and then we all sit. Les takes a deep breath. The other man looks tired. “I want to tell you, first and foremost, that we’re not here to disrupt our granddaughter’s life. I looked into you, Reed, and I can see that you’re a successful man.”
“But we want to make sure that her emotional needs are met as well,” Betsy adds and dabs at a tear. “And we’d like to meet her.”
“I have some questions,” I reply, not agreeing or disagreeing to Betsy’s request. “Why were you estranged from Vanessa?”
“Oh.” Betsy sighs and shakes her head slowly. “We always had a tough relationship with our daughter. And not for the usual reasons. There were no drugs or lifestyle decisions that drove a wedge between us.”
“Vanessa was staunchly independent,” Les says, folding his hands. “From a young age, she wanted to do things alone. She never told us about school functions that we should attend, like games or meetings.”
“I had to stay in touch with her teachers,” Betsy says. “She was private, and I guess you could say that we just never bonded with her.”
“Was she an only child?” Noel asks.
“Yes, and I regret that,” Betsy admits. “Maybe if we’d had more children, she would have felt differently about family. She left for college and rarely came home to visit. And the more we asked, the less she’d cooperate.”
“We loved our daughter,” Les says. “And I believe she loved us, in the only way she knew how.”
“I can’t believe she didn’t even tell you she had Piper. Or that she was sick.”
“Well, not telling us about her daughter came as quite a surprise,” Betsy says, her voice quivering. “But her illness? No. I’m not surprised. She just didn’t reach out about things like that. I wish she had told us so we could have been with her.”
“But she wouldn’t have wanted that either,” Les adds and reaches for his wife’s hand.
“None of us are bad people,” Betsy insists. “Just different. And now that we know we have a granddaughter, we’d like the chance to get to know her.”
“Are you planning to file for custody?” Noel asks, her voice strong.
Les and Betsy look at each other in surprise.
“No,” Les says. “We’re not young people. We raised our family. But this is the only chance we have at being grandparents.”
“We live in Florida,” Betsy adds. “So we can’t see Piper often, but we’d like to make the trip a few times a year. Perhaps we can spend a holiday or two with you.”
Ms. Hale clears her throat. “If need be, Les and Betsy can petition the court for visitation rights. Or you can simply make that decision among yourselves, and not involve the court at all.”
I take a deep breath and sit back in the chair, watching the older couple before me. Vanessa looked so much like her mother. I don’t know what her reasons were for not having a relationship with her parents, but I don’t have the heart to keep Piper away from them.
If I discover something is off later, we can always adjust things.
And they won’t take her by themselves. At least, not for a long time.
“There’s no need to involve the court,” I say at last. Betsy dissolves into tears, and Les nods his head.
“Thank you,” he says.
“How long are you in town?”
“Only for a couple of days,” Betsy says. “Do you think we can meet her before we go? We brought her some Christmas gifts, and I’d just love to see her.”
“We can arrange that,” Noel says and smiles. “I’m sure she’ll love the idea of having more people in her life to love and to love her.”
We exchange phone numbers and agree to meet the following afternoon.
Once in the car, I sigh and just stare straight ahead.
“You were right,” I say at last.
“About which part?”
“That I had no reason to worry.”
She reaches for my hand. “You’re a daddy, Reed. Worrying is going to be part of your daily life for the next hundred years.”
“As long as I have you to remind me that everything’s okay, I’ll be just fine.”
“Everything’s okay,” she says with a smile. “I promise.”