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Mercy dialed 911 and tried not to think about the text she’d sent to Loyal earlier that day. Carter arrived shortly ahead of Emergency Services. But neighbors quickly gathered when they heard the squad car racing toward Honey’s. Mercy just shrugged at Carter when she let him into the house.
“I don’t know why there’s so many people out there. Maybe there was a great clearing in the force and everyone’s bat senses picked up on it,” she said when he gave her a questioning look.
“I find it hard to believe you’re making jokes at a time like this,” he said.
“I’m not joking,” she said. “Well, maybe a little but that woman was vile.” Cinnamon took exception to Mercy’s comment and tried biting her.
“Will you do something with that mutt?” Carter asked as the dog yapped incessantly.
“I’d be happy to,” she replied from her knees with her hand on Cinnamon’s neck to restrain him. His barking turned frantic. “Just don’t ask me later where he is or why an alligator harked up his remains. He might be tiny but he’s probably as bitter as Honey.”
“Put him in the bathroom,” Carter suggested. “Maybe he’ll choke on the toilet paper.”
Mercy clicked her tongue disapprovingly. “I can’t believe you’re making jokes,” she mocked. “I’ll give him one of Honey’s leftover soap pieces to play with.” She returned to the kitchen a minute later and waved at Deputy Kyle Breaux, who eyed Honey’s corpse warily. Mercy didn’t blame him. She half-expected the wicked woman to sit up and accuse her of murder.
“Don’t just stand there,” Carter told Kyle. “Start taking pictures and then bag the evidence.”
Mercy’s eyes bulged. “Evidence?”
“I’ll get your statement later,” Carter told her as one of the medical personnel examined the corpse. “You can wait outside.”
“Statement?” she repeated stupidly. “Why? She had a heart attack or something, didn’t she?”
The emergency responder glanced at Carter. “Or something. She’s frothing at the mouth. Most likely poisoned.”
Mercy imagined Honey Graham cackling as she rode a hound all the way to Hell, hurling accusations like bolts of lightning while her ride dropped big balls of crap for her to scoop up. Then Carter pushed Mercy out the front door and she saw Robert Graham park on the street in front of his mother’s house. He hurried to Mercy. “I heard my mother’s dead. What happened?”
“I don’t know,” she said, still in shock. “Maybe the deputy will let you in.”
Robert nodded and headed to the door. After speaking with Carter for a few minutes he was allowed inside and Mercy looked for her friends, but eager neighbors crowded her, flooding her with questions.
“What happened?”
“Is Deputy LeBlanc here to arrest her?”
“Why is Dr. Hart here? Did the old bag collapse?”
Each enthusiastic suggestion brought hope to Honey’s neighbors, and they looked ready to throw a party when Mercy told them Honey was dead.
“It’s Karma paying her back for all those birds she killed!”
“Not just birds, but pets. Where’s that regurgitated hairball, Cinnamon? Please tell me he’s dead too.”
“Who the hell cares about her mutt? She’s gone!”
“Ding-dong, the wicked witch is dead!”
Mercy left them to their celebration and edged to the sidewalk where Ida Belle and Gertie waited. After making sure no one was eavesdropping, she told them that Honey had been poisoned.
“How much did the neighbors pay you to bump her off?” Ida Belle joked.
“Ida Belle, shame on you,” Gertie chided.
“You’re right. Suggesting money was involved cheapens the occasion.” Ida Belle nodded at the joyous atmosphere surrounding them. “Obviously one of them was happy to do it for nothing.”
“I don’t care who did it,” Mercy admitted. “So long as I’m not a suspect.” She covered her mouth in horror, realizing her sarcastic text to Loyal might be misconstrued.
“Let’s have it,” Ida Belle demanded before rolling her eyes to Gertie. “She just can’t stay out of trouble, can she?”
“All I did was heat up the leftovers,” Mercy said desperately, after explaining her inadvertent blunder. She waved her arm. “Look at them. I only served a few hours of a two-week sentence. They’ve had to live with Honey’s evil for a lot longer.” The front door opened and Carter signaled to her. She clutched Gertie’s arm. “Wish me luck.”
“You already hit the big jackpot,” Ida Belle said. “What more do you want?”
Mercy made a face and trudged into Honey’s house. The arrival of Father Michael made everyone inside pause out of respect—for him, not Honey. When he finished his business with Honey, Father Michael asked Robert to call him and left. Robert pulled out his phone and dialed another number.
“Ashes To Us? Yes, this is Robert Graham and I want to make arrangements for the disposal of my mother.” He paused and after listening for a minute, he added, “I understand that you offer 24-hour pickup service, but it’s not necessary. She won’t be available until after the autopsy.”
Mercy flipped her eyes to Carter. “Don’t they dispose of ashes for people who don’t want them? I thought her urn was supposed to be buried in the Catholic cemetery,” she whispered.
“Considering that Honey wasn’t exactly a model Christian, I’m not sure which is the greater sin—putting her in consecrated ground or not,” he replied. “But I doubt she’s waiting at the Pearly Gates for a decision on her eternal future.”
Robert had finished his phone call and spoke up. “I’m positive Mother’s already roasting souls in Hell with the Devil. It’s their version of S’mores.” Then he smiled and Mercy was taken aback by the look in his eyes. It reminded her of Honey, but she shook it off, sure that he was suffering from shock.
“Oh, Miss Hazeldine, I almost forgot.” He removed a wallet from his back pocket and offered Mercy $250 in cash. “Deputy LeBlanc was kind enough to tell me the financial arrangements you’d worked out with my mother.”
She glanced nervously at Carter, hoping he wouldn’t think the worst. “I was only here a few hours,” she protested.
Robert Graham frowned. “I see. How much more do you want?”
Mercy let out a squeak. “No, I can’t take more. I mean, I didn’t do a lot. Not that I did nothing. Uh, I guess I did enough—” She bit her lip to stop the verbal freefall, and Robert shrugged as he put the cash away.
“Well, let me know,” he requested. “Please excuse me. I have a few things to do.”
“Don’t forget the dog,” Carter reminded him. Robert looked unhappy but retrieved the little dog before leaving.
Mercy turned to Carter with squinted eyes and a crinkled face. “Please tell me I’m not a suspect.”
His brows lifted. “Is there something you want to confess?” She nodded and showed him the last text she sent Loyal, shutting her eyes while she waited for the worst. “That’s it?” Carter asked. Mercy opened her eyes and nodded. He returned her phone. “I’d have to arrest everyone in Sinful if I based my investigation on comments like that.”
“Really? I mean, great! Not great, really—” Eek! She gave him a toothy grin and he backed up.
“Keep your hands to yourself,” he warned. “I recognize that vacant look.”
“It’s not my fault. This has been a traumatic experience,” she told him.
“I guess discovering her like that could be distressing.”
“Oh, yeah. That too. But I meant dealing with Honey when she was alive.” She paused and they watched EMS remove Honey’s body. After a quick consult with them, Carter assigned Kyle to send the neighbors home and then motioned for Mercy to take a seat on the couch.
“I’m not a suspect, right?” she asked, wanting to clarify the matter before she ended up in trouble.
“No,” he responded. “You had no motive.”
“And we don’t have to do this at your office?” Mercy was surprised to see Carter pull out a small voice recorder.
He shook his head. “Robert’s concerned about leaving the house unattended, so I told him that you could stay here until tomorrow when he can change the locks.”
“Okay.” Mercy nodded and then told Carter about the day she spent with Honey. When he heard about the cat and the shooting episode Mercy took him outside to show him where Robert had buried the woodpecker. The ground was disturbed and the dead bird was gone. “I guess it was a dog,” she said. “Cinnamon tried digging it up earlier.”
“Do you know where the gun is?” he asked.
Mercy led him to the table with the drawer where Honey stored her binoculars and Carter removed the pistol with a noise of disgust. “What was she even doing with a weapon in her house?”
“Besides killing endangered species? I overheard her neighbors say that Honey killed some of their pets.”
“Thanks for lengthening the list of suspects,” he said sarcastically as he prepared to leave. “I don’t need to caution you to keep this to yourself, do I?”
Mercy smiled and shook her head. “No.”
“Good.”
Because I already told Ida Belle and Gertie that Honey was murdered.