My brain cells started firing and I knew I wasn't home in my bed, because this bed was too soft and warm. I rolled over and the clock said it was a few minutes past nine. For me to sleep this late, I knew I'd been tired last night.
And then I remembered Ash.
I'd fallen asleep in the middle of our conversation. He must have put me to bed. I looked down and realized I was still in my clothes from the previous night. Ash probably thinks there's something wrong with me.
This man wanted to own me, possess me and take care of me. But at what cost? Would he strip me of my dignity? Offer me to others? How deep in this lifestyle was he? Why was I willing to give it all up to him?
Shaking my head, I just wouldn't think about it today. Today was our first full day in Las Vegas and I wanted to play. My excitement for tonight's show was bubbling up in my system so fast that I wanted to run around the room shouting at the top of my lungs.
I was here with Glory Days. And last night I kissed Ash Martin.
My throat was parched and I wanted to get in a little sun. I jumped up and went into the little kitchenette to grab the coffee maker. Thankfully, the thing made coffee quick. I'd just settled down in front of the T. V. when Liana came out yawning; her black hair in a pigs nest around her petite face.
"Morning," she growled. I pointed toward the coffee and laughed. This was the only time of the day Liana wasn't going full throttle and I enjoyed the quietness.
But that wouldn't last long.
"Alright, spill," she laughed at my expression. Liana dumped another three spoons full of sugar into her coffee and waited.
"Nothing happened," I admitted. Nothing she was thinking about. What we did speak of, was not something I would repeat. "We just talked."
"About," she probed. Oh, hell no. I wasn't spilling Ash's secrets. Or about the kiss.
"Photography," I said, which wasn't a lie.
"And?" she asked. "Did he kiss you?"
"Yes," I muttered, standing up to dump my cup into the sink then returned to my seat at the table. I fiddled with the fringe on the placemat so I had something to do with my hands.
"And?" she asked again. What did I tell her? Could I tell her he wants to be the dom to my sub? That sounds so dirty. So...so, amazingly erotic.
"That's it," I lied. "We talked. He kissed me. I fell asleep on the couch and I'm pretty sure he put me to bed in my clothes."
Liana came around to join me at the table. I think she knew I was a big fat liar pants. The look on her face said it all. I turned to look out the windows so I didn't have to see her analyzing my expressions.
The sun was coming up over the top of the hotel and the room grew a little brighter with each passing minute. The pool was looking really good about now.
"Ok," she swallowed a huge drink of coffee. "So, what do you want to do now?"
I said simply, "Pool."
.
David, the bodyguard, escorted us down to the pool an hour later. Not many people had ventured out this early to enjoy the desert sun, but Liana and I didn't mind. We tried to get David to stop by his room and change but he refused to take a needed break. When we reached the lounging chairs, he took his place in the shade behind us and waited patiently while we laid back soaking up the sun.
I popped my sunglasses on my face and relaxed in the plush chairs. My bikini was blue, just like my eyes and I fanned my hair out behind me, letting it dry naturally from the quick shower earlier. I could get use to this. A little voice inside my head said I could have this anytime I wanted if I'd just use the money in savings. I squashed that thought as soon as it struck.
The sun reflected off the pool and the smell of chlorine in the air tickled my nose a little. A cute cabana boy came by and got our drink order. When I tried to pay him, I was waved off and told my bill was covered. Liana just rolled her eyes and sipped her Mimosa.
"Hey David," Liana smiled up at the huge behemoth of a man, his high and tight brown haircut told me he was most likely a former Marine. He was cute in a straight laced kind of way, but I only had eyes for a hot singer with a bad ass sleeve tattoo.
"Yes, Ms. Liana," he replied, not moving an inch.
"Have you informed my brother as to my whereabouts already?" Liana asked as she rolled over onto her belly and kicked her heels up to sway them back and forth. She looked like a bad little elf when she did that. I laughed a little and that made David's jaw clinch ever so slightly.
This could be fun. I bet we could break him before the weekend was through.
"Yes, Ms. Liana, I have already informed them," he answered, still not moving.
A quartet of very nice looking and half naked men strolled by, slowing as they came in front of our lounge chairs. "Hello, ladies," the dark haired one said. He was tall, not as tall as Reed, but just as good looking. His hair was short and he too had a lot of tattoos. The other guys were blah...plain looking and forgettable. They looked like college boys.
"Can we buy you a drink?" the dark haired leader asked while doing a onceover up and down both of our bodies. I felt a little violated.
"No, thanks," Liana giggled, holding up her Mimosa. "We're good."
When the guy made a move to sit at the end of my chair, I pulled my knees to my chest. David was there before I could protest. "Sirs, you will need to leave." David changed at that point and went from the silent giant in the background to the raging predator in between the threat and his charge.
"What the fuck?" I heard something even scarier reach my ears. Looking up I watched as Ash barreled toward us, Gabe and Reed on his heels. Our admirers paled considerably and eased away from Liana and I.
"Hey, man," the dark haired guy stammered. "Ash Martin, right? I'm a huge fan." He reached his hand out for a hand shake. Ash just clinched his jaw and shook his head in a tight jerk, telling this guy there would be no autographs for him.
"I suggest you leave," Ash growled at the men. They looked at me and Liana and back at three quarters of Glory Days and took off.
Ash turned toward me, his eyes furious and if he'd been a cartoon character, I'm pretty sure steam would be shooting out of his ears right now. Thankfully I was still wearing my sunglasses so he couldn't see the amusement in my eyes.
Ash growled something and I swear it sounded like he said, "Blue fucking string bikinis!" He turned to David and let out a string of curses. "Really? Your only job is to keep people off of them. What happened?"
"Hey," Liana shouted, jumping up from her chair. "Leave David alone! He was doing his job just fine until you barged in! You overprotective cow!"
During all of this I remained seated and silent. I wanted to defend David as well, but it looked like Liana had it handled. Ash shifted and removed his shirt walking over to me. He thrust his hand out, "Put this on now!"
"No," I replied and tilted my chin toward the sun.
A second later I could smell him. Two seconds later I felt his sweet breath on my cheek, and I knew his lips were close to my ear. "Don't push me, Mary. And God knows not to disobey me. Put on the fucking shirt before I go to jail for murdering the next pansy ass college boy who comes barking up my tree." I opened my eyes and I could see his whole body vibrating and I found it rather scary and a whole lot of sexy.
This was what he meant by control. He needed this and he demanded it. It took me less than five seconds before I took his shirt and pulled it over my head.
That was not a very good idea.
It was a vintage Metallica t-shirt and it smelled like him. I really wanted to bury myself into the neck of it and die. The thing was huge and fell to about mid-thigh. He must have been heading to work out, because he was wearing black basketball shorts and there was a hotel towel slung across his right shoulder.
Gabe and Reed were hovering near Liana and all three were looking toward Ash like he'd just sprouted horns. Which I guess you could say he did. I wasn't sure what to do next. The hairs on my neck tingled as I watched him visibly relax once he took in my appearance in his clothes. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he looked relieved. Like he just marked his territory.
Why does that thought do funny things to my insides?
That blasted bikini should be outlawed. The only reason why I'm not going to rip off those assholes heads is because she finally put on my shirt. She should always be in my shirt. It calmed me and helped me see reason.
Her contented sigh as she pulled it over her head assured me that she felt safe in my things. If she wasn't so tiny, compared to me, I'd keep her dressed in Glory Days concert shirts and a closet full of my vintage t-shirts for the rest of her life. My God...I'm whipped already.
"Ash," Mary whispered. She stepped forward and placed her hand on my wrist. Hands as soft as velvet rubbed lightly on my forearm, causing sweat to pebble up on my chest. She leaned in close and smiled, "It's okay. David was here. Liana and I were fine."
"I don't like the way they were looking at you," I growled low in my throat and reached up to trace her jaw with my thumb. Mary sighed and leaned into my palm. She smelled so good, like coconut and a little of the champagne in her mimosa. Pulling her into my side, we turned toward the others.
"Mary," Liana spoke up, looking a little worried. "You ready to get going?" Mary pulled away from me slightly and I tugged her back against me.
"Where are you heading?" I asked, trying not to sound disappointed.
"I told you that I wanted to hit the strip and take some pictures," Mary reminded me of our conversation last night. This was her profession, and I would never stand between her and her livelihood. Photography was her life, not me.
At least not yet.
"Sure," I agreed. "Reed and I were just heading for the gym. Make sure you take David with you. Do you need a car?" I faced Mary and took her cheek in my hand. I couldn't stop touching her softness. It was addicting.
She shook her head, "No, I'd rather walk around." She reached down and picked up her bag and towel off the lounge chair. People were meandering around, the women almost breaking their necks to catch a glimpse. Eric and David took their protective stances around us, therefore halting any unwanted attention.
"Ok, give me your phone," I held out my hand in wait. She reached into the side pocket of her bag and produced an IPhone, the case covered in tiny wildflowers. I smiled and took it from her. I punched in my cell and added myself to her contacts as A. Martin. "Shoot me a text so that I can have your number too."
With a nod and a very sweet smile on those delicate lips, she ducked her head and typed out a quick note then tucked her phone back in the bag. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I took it out to add her to mine. I look at the text and smile.
XOXO ~ Mary
"Hey, I'll catch up with you later," she says as she turns away. David steps in beside her and Liana as they walk away from the pool. I drag my hands through my hair and watch as her hips saunter in my shirt. I suddenly had the urge to beat my hands on my chest and growl like an animal.
"Beautiful, isn't she?" Gabe asked quietly. "She's a good woman, who's been through a rough life Ash. Don't hurt her. Liana will never forgive you." He punched me in the arm and I reached back and tagged his stomach. We both laughed.
"There's something special about that one," I admitted.
Why was I so drawn to her? Was it the innocent eyes? Or the tragic background? My protective instincts roared and my inability to have complete control of my feelings left me feeling very disturbed.
Control, at least for me, was a vital, everyday emotion that played in my world. Ever since I turned eighteen and moved away from home. My home life had no control. My folks were too busy looking for their next fix, or scam to make an extra buck. Welfare usually caught on fairly quick and stopped the benefits. When that stopped, so did the food.
I remember having to take good care of my clothes because they wouldn't be able to afford anything for me when school started. It wasn't until ninth grade that I met this tall, soft spoken sophomore that took me in. His family kept me fed and clothed until I was old enough to get a job.
Reed and I shared a passion for music. It was his mother's idea that we start a band to make an extra few dollars on the weekends. Ann Sullivan bought my first acoustic guitar (the same one I carry with me everywhere I go). Her and Mr. Sullivan set us up with lessons and even paid for the want ad in the local paper once we were ready to strike out on our own.
The first one to come along was Gabe. He was short and scrawny, looked nothing like a rock star, but insisted he could play a guitar. Once he hooked up and started playing, (one of his own songs) we were floored. The little punk could play.
It took almost a month before we could find someone to play the drums. We were out in Santa Monica, on the beach, one afternoon and got to talking with this guy who looked like a fucked up pretty boy, all blonde spiked hair and tattoos. After mentioning our musical abilities, Kane said he'd like to try out. He too blew us away.
After the first practice, I knew we had something big. Hard work and attitude paid off by the time I turned twenty. We'd been signed by our record label and had a nice deal for our first album. When Kane was hit one night on his motorcycle driving home from practice, our world shut down. He'd broken his arm in two places and after a few surgeries was told it could take six months or longer for him to be well enough to resume playing.
The first album had been delayed almost and year. Now that I look back, I'm thankful, because we, as people, just weren't ready for the fame that struck us so early on. We did a lot of growing up that year. The drinking and partying got old when we had nothing to keep ourselves busy. We'd made a pack then, the night before we went in to record, that from that point on, we would always be at one hundred percent.
Our manager and the record executives booked us on every late show they could get to let us play. We opened for some pretty big acts. Even played Lalapoulza, that was one hell of an experience. Within six months of releasing that first album, we hit number one on the rock charts. Our life hasn't been the same since.
Since the day I'd left home, I felt in control of every aspect of my life. Even my so-called parents are no longer in the picture. I know where they live, just for the simple fact of I want to know where they are, so that I'm not looking over my shoulder all the time. I have people who keep me updated on them.
Within a week of the album going platinum, they were on my doorstep with their hands held out. The following week, I moved and had my name, number and location unlisted. To this day, I have not given them a dime. They are nothing to me.
These boys (and Liana) are my brothers and sister. Ann and Larry Sullivan are my parents. Jackie and Bob Martin cease to exist in my book. They can't touch me and because I became big after I turned eighteen, they cannot claim any of what is mine. What I earned on my own.
Now, I found an angel that rattles that control box a little too much. There's a part of me that hopes that she succumbs to my desires. The other part of me wants to tell her to run. Taking a chance at something with Mary was dangerous. For the both of us.
I needed control like I needed air to breath. Mary was skittish and not very trusting of the control. The look on her face the night before said it all. She was scared, and so was I.
In the gym, I jumped on the treadmill and plugged my headphones in so that I could get some peace and quiet. If you call listening to Papa Roach peaceful. Gabe was on the bench press and Reed was spotting him. Kane was in the room, still asleep. That boy didn't come in until the early morning. No doubt he'd hit up some strip club for a night out on the town, and got plenty of ass to go around.
Closing my eyes, I tried to get back hold of my thoughts. I needed my strength for tonight's show. Reaching for the volume, my feet pounded to the beat of "Last Resort". I sang along to myself.
'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine