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Eight Years Ago
day 44 since capture
On the last day of her sentence, Shiloh spent every waking hour in the stables. She had no idea how Drake intended to pass his message along, but she didn’t want to leave in case she missed it. Her senses were on high alert while she worked, occasionally fumbling as her mind wandered back to the kiss.
Just before lunchtime, an unexpected visitor showed up. She was busy scooping manure out of the stalls and into a wheelbarrow, humming to herself with a small smile.
“Someone’s enjoying themselves,” Adam noted, not mocking or reproaching her, but rather curious by the fact.
Shiloh felt at ease enough around him to shrug and answer with a half-truth. “It’s not so bad. My back is almost too stiff to hurt anymore.”
He raised his eyebrows, but his tone remained serious. “I can tell. If anyone saw you, they wouldn’t know you were being punished.”
Shiloh let out a low chuckle, too distracted with her task but mostly with thoughts of Drake. “We gotta look on the positive side of things to stay sane around here. For example, this is a great workout. I’m sore as hell, but I can feel my muscles getting stronger.”
“Shi,” he said after a pause.
The name took her off guard, but what really made her whirl around to face him was the warning in his voice.
“Drake has been coming in late for breakfast this week. Do you know anything about that?” he asked, making her cheerfulness die down.
Shiloh briefly considered lying. It wasn’t like she was doing anything wrong; Shauna had dated another servant at the estate for a while, and she’d said it was fine. But this felt too personal to share with anyone—especially considering it had only been one kiss.
Yet, Adam was one of the few at the estate she was inclined to trust. She didn’t have to admit to everything.
“He’s late because he comes here, and we hang out for a while,” she said. “But it’s on his own time, and we never leave the stables, so we’re not breaking any rules.”
Adam’s intense gaze made her squirm. “Shiloh, if there’s something going on between you two, you need to tell me.”
She flushed, but now he was making her nervous. Had Shauna been wrong? “Wait, is dating against the rules?”
Adam tilted his head to one side, conceding. “Technically, it’s allowed, but there are different rules for it.”
“Why didn’t you mention them at orientation?”
“They’re only brought up when someone shows an interest.”
That didn’t make any sense.
Adam had laid out all kinds of rules for servants; how to talk, walk, when to sleep, when to eat, etc. He’d told them what they were allowed to do during and outside of their work schedules, and which areas of the estate they were forbidden from stepping into at all times—mainly the supernatural sections.
Why were dating rules different? Why not just lay everything out together?
But the way Adam kept staring at her, silently inquiring, stopped her from lingering on these questions. Because suddenly, there was something else she cared about more than anything. She was almost too shy to ask, but she needed to know.
“Are boys and girls not allowed to, uh, mingle? In case the girl gets pregnant or something?”
For a fraction of a second, Shiloh thought she saw the seriousness melt off Adam’s face, only to be replaced with something more sinister. But the moment passed before she could be sure what she saw.
“No, that’s not a rule,” he replied. “But you do need to disclose the relationship as soon as possible. Keeping it secret for too long will only make things worse in the long run.”
She gulped. She had started this line of questioning, and she was determined to get all the facts cleared, no matter how awkward. Besides, Adam didn’t usually hesitate to share important information with her. If anyone knew the protocols, it was him.
“So, hypothetically speaking, what would happen if a servant does get pregnant by another servant?”
“That depends on a lot of factors,” Adam answered methodically, folding his arms across his chest.
“Best case scenario?”
He shook his head. “No such thing, not anymore. In the past, vamphyrs didn’t want the charge of children that weren’t descended from them, so they would alter the girl’s memories and send her back out into the world. That way, they wouldn’t jeopardize their estate.”
Shiloh felt a burst of hope. A tiny part of her briefly wondered whether this could be a way for her to escape, but the thought was quickly squashed. It was wrong on so many levels.
“But that practice was abandoned long ago,” Adam went on, seeming to read her mind. “It’s easy for people to abuse that kind of mercy from their masters, so getting pregnant on purpose is a severely punishable offense. And it removes any possibility of either servant earning their freedom later on.”
Looking away from his judgmental eyes, Shiloh let the thought go immediately and tried to shake off the shame coursing through her. “But if dating’s allowed, accidents must happen.”
“In that case, the child is also considered a recruit, and the parents don’t get a say in their upbringing or their future. That’s why it’s important to reveal the relationship early on. So I’ll ask again; is there something you want to tell me?”
Shiloh couldn’t answer for a moment. All the beautiful normalcy she’d been experiencing thanks to Drake vanished. She’d forgotten the dark reality they lived in, and it terrified her to think that something so grim could be in her future.
But even without that, she wasn’t sure how to react to Adam’s question. Drake had only kissed her yesterday, so she wouldn’t exactly say they were together.
Then again... she wanted to be with him. At no point in her so far short life did she feel a yearning for motherhood, but she did want Drake. And if she was being honest with herself, it would be nice if Adam could offer her a way to be with him without any of the risks.
Too soon.
She couldn’t label anything when they hadn’t even seen or talked to each other since the kiss.
“Shiloh?”
“We’re friends,” she said.
Adam read her face correctly. “But?”
“But nothing. We’re just friends.”
He stared at her for a second, contemplating, and then his tone shifted as he went on. “Whatever is going on, keep in mind that your duties must always come first. Master Benjamin doesn’t care what happens between servants, but only as long as it doesn’t affect their work. He also won’t tolerate anyone finding ways around a direct order from him. Like carrying out a probation period that you were told to do by yourself.”
So that was why he came.
Shiloh vehemently shook her head. “He doesn’t help, I swear. I do my own work.”
He studied her face, gauging her honesty before nodding. “Either way, be careful. And if anything changes, you need to come to me. We do give out contraceptives here, so I can help you avoid any unwanted consequences.”
She nodded without looking at him. He could clearly tell that they were interested in each other, but he seemed to care more about her fulfilling her duties properly, since he was in charge of reporting everybody’s actions back to the vamphyr. Either way, Shiloh might have to talk to him at some point—after seeing Drake.
Once Adam left, Shiloh stood alone in the stables, rattled. She longed to see Drake again, to get a moment of respite in his arms and have him erase her fears and doubts. They flooded her thoughts now and diluted the brief happiness she’d felt with him.
The punishment was another thing, too. Whatever happened between her and Drake, she had to wait until her probation period had passed first. The risk of displeasing Master was too—
“Took him long enough.”
Shiloh whirled around at the sound, which seemed to come out of nowhere. Another unexpected—though not unwelcome—visitor. Devon had somehow squeezed himself under a stack of hay in the corner and was now struggling to pull himself out.
“You scared me!” Shiloh pressed a hand to her erratically beating heart. “How long were you in there?”
“Not long,” he muttered, picking pieces of hay out of his hair and clothes.
She scanned his hiding spot and was impressed with how he had managed to keep his entire body covered with just his head sticking out. The stack wasn’t too thick, so she assumed he must have been lying down.
“How did you get in without me seeing you?” she wondered curiously.
With a derisive scoff, Devon stepped over the stack of hay and came closer. “You were too busy daydreaming about my brother to notice. I snuck in when you were pushing that thing in here.”
Shiloh glanced at the wheelbarrow he was pointing at, which was still mostly empty, then turned back to Devon. “But why hide?”
He rolled his eyes. “‘Cause I’m not supposed to be here, obviously. I saw Adam coming, so I just ducked for cover.”
“And... why are you here?”
Part of her hoped that Devon had come to relay Drake’s message, but he just reached into his pocket and pulled out something wrapped in a white plastic bag. Clearly, he had sat on it when he hid, given its flattened appearance.
“Here,” he muttered as he pushed it into her hand. It felt soft and squishy under her fingers.
Shiloh frowned, not sure what to do. “What’s this?”
“A sandwich.”
“Yeah, I have eyes. Why are you giving it to me?”
“Don’t go to dinner with the others.”
It was a message! He was telling her to stay in the stables because he was coming for her. A smile snuck its way onto her face, which made Devon roll his eyes again and start walking away.
“Wait, Devon?” Shiloh stopped him.
“What?” he snapped, visibly annoyed.
“Did I do something to offend you?”
“No.”
She waited for more, but nothing came. “So you just don’t like me? For no reason?”
He raised one cocky eyebrow. “I have reasons.”
“Fantastic! What are they?”
“Why do you need to know?”
“Gee, I don’t know, maybe because you’re important to Drake? And I happen to like him, so I want us to get along.”
Devon raised both hands and gestured toward her in a grand ‘ah-ha!’ manner. “That’s the problem right there.”
“What? That I like him?”
“That you’re delusional! You’re acting like you have no idea where we are. He’s risking his neck left and right for you, and you don’t even care.”
“Of course I care,” she protested, affronted. “You think I want him to risk his life?”
“I think you want to use him as an escape.”
Her jaw dropped. “I’m not using him! I actually care about him.”
“Oh, don’t even give me that. I heard you and Adam just now.”
Assuming he meant the hypothetical pregnancy, she opened her mouth to explain how she was never seriously considering it.
“Did you even stop to think about what happens to the guy in that situation?” he spat out before she could get a word in. “You think he wouldn’t get punished just as badly?”
“I wasn’t—”
“Sometimes, it’s even worse for him. You have no idea how cruel vamphyrs can be. You’re just selfish, taking whatever you want from him and not caring about the consequences.”
All the color drained from her face. Angry tears shone in Devon’s eyes, but his glare went beyond Shiloh herself. She had no idea what was going on, but somehow, it didn’t feel like they were talking about her and Drake anymore.
“Devon—”
“Just don’t forget the damn sandwich,” he snapped, turning away before she could do or say anything more.
