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It was tempting to turn the lantern up to its highest setting and banish the darkness, but common sense prevailed. The power could be out all night. I needed to set the lamp to a dull glow and think of it as mood lighting. I held back a semi-hysterical giggle. Was there a setting for quietly freaking out?
By the time I’d set half a dozen tealights burning around the room, I felt less shaky and more able to hold a conversation.
I curled up on the sofa and tugged a cushion to my chest. “My name is Caitlin, and I’m afraid of the dark.” I spoke brightly, and expected Jasper to laugh. Caitlin the Comic, in action.
He didn’t, though. He rested his chin on one hand and gazed at me across the room. “It didn’t use to bother me until I wrecked my car. I was stuck in the wreckage for a couple of hours before they cut me out. The first hour, nobody knew I was there.” His voice was matter of fact, and it took a moment before the words sank in.
“How are you not climbing the walls right now? You’re so calm.”
He huffed a soft laugh. “Your pills must have something to do with it. I’m a wee bit high.” He lifted his free hand and opened a tiny gap between forefinger and thumb. “Just this much.”
He gazed at me, his eyes reflecting the candle flames. His face was shadowed, his cheekbones sharper than usual. He rolled his neck, and when a lock of hair fell across his forehead, I longed to sweep it back with my fingers.
Nope. Not going to happen. I hugged the cushion tighter and sought my words with care. “Do you want to talk about it? Your accident?”
“Not really. Tell me why you don’t like the dark, instead.”
I shrugged, wanting to appear casual and unworried. “It was never a problem until the earthquake last year. I was spending the night with my fiancé, and he had a place on the waterfront—one of the new blocks. It shook badly, and I lost my shit. I hid under the dining room table. Not my finest moment.”
Jasper scrunched his brows together. “One of the best places to take cover. How high up were you?”
“Fifth floor of a ten-floor building. I kept thinking about everyone above me, and if the floors collapsed.” I had to stop. I forcibly relaxed my death grip on the cushion. “When Bruce got home, I was still there. It was four in the morning, and it took him another hour to coax me out.”
“The quake was around midnight. Where was he?”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell Jasper the next part and appear even lamer.
“Caitlin?”
“He was with his girlfriend,” I said in a rush. “Only she wasn’t his girlfriend then. Not officially. She was—is—his best friend, and he’d been helping her with something. And I was too dumb to see the writing on the wall.” I wiped my hot eyes. “You talked about the fat lady singing? She was halfway through her solo, and I still didn’t realize.”
The ugly argument played in my head.
“She’s fragile. She needs me, Caitlin.”
“And I don’t?”
“No. You’re bombproof. You cope with everything.”
“He stayed with her, instead of coming to you?”
“Yep. I guess that was when I figured out what I meant to him.”
“But you were engaged.” Jasper sounded outraged.
I smiled. “I think he proposed to me to make Pammy jealous. He wanted her all along.”
“He sounds like an asshole. I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
He shrugged. “He hurt you. That’s not cool.”
His sympathy made my eyes sting. Enough sharing on my part. No way was I telling him about my temporary madness in agreeing to supply the cake for Bruce’s wedding. I dragged my mind away from my faithless ex. “Your turn to spill the beans.”
Jasper gazed at his glass of water. “I kinda wish this was something stronger. I haven’t even told Hol all the details—or what I remember, anyway. Bits of it are still a blank.”
He fell silent, so I prompted him. “How long ago did it happen?”
He glanced up at me and held my gaze. “August last year. Nine months ago.”
There was another loaded silence before he continued. “I was stupid. It was a race. Over the Pae-kok Hill road. I was angry with everything. I’d broken up with my girlfriend. Argued with my business partner. Racing was the last thing I should be doing.”
He gulped at his drink and stared at me, but I got the impression he was miles away. “It was a mild winter last year, aye? And then we had some heavy rains, and the road was muddy. I went over the edge.”
Fear gripped my chest. Over the edge? The hill road was one of the highest points around here. “You survived,” I whispered.
“Yeah. Dumb luck, I think. When I didn’t make it to the bottom, the others went back to look for me.”
“I’m glad they did.”
He shrugged. “I had a lot of time to think, y’know? And I promised myself, if I survived, I’d do things differently.” He tapped his knee. “This is slowing me down, but I’ve got plans. Nothing like a near-death experience to give you a new perspective.”
“Go on, then. What are you planning?”
His lips quirked into a half-smile. He lifted one hand and counted against his fingers. “Stop obsessing over Cindy. Find someone to buy me out of the gym. Go travelling for a year.”
“Wow. Big decisions.”
“Yup. And I’m partway there. I’ve found my investor for the gym, and I’ve booked my flight to the U.K. I leave in three weeks.”