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Holly typed rapidly on her phone, and then waited. She cursed softly. “I tried to text Zack, but the delivery failed. He must be out of signal again.”
I stared at my phone. “What he’s doing is brave. Sam too, and the whole SAR group. They’re volunteers, and they go out in the shittiest of conditions.” Tears pricked at my eyes, but I ignored them.
“Hey.” Jasper squeezed my hand. “You know the SAR crew stands the best possible chance of looking after themselves. It’s hardest when they have to track the tourists that weren’t prepared for the weather—the ones who set out in running shoes and don’t take any food or water with them.”
“Oh my God.” Holly grabbed the TV remote and switched it on. “It’s on the news. I saw it mentioned in my Facebook feed.” She zipped through the channels and turned up the volume.
The screen was filled with a famous face—Hollywood actor-turned-director Roddy Genesys—and then cut to a smaller picture of Cindy. “Roddy’s group has now been missing for over six hours,” announced the reporter. “The weather conditions are treacherous, but a large rescue effort has been mobilized. It’s the first time the Hollywood star has been tramping in the Tararuas, or in New Zealand at all. Little is known about the party he’s with, other than that they are experienced. One of his fellow trampers is local star Lucinda Redd. She’s due to appear in his next movie.”
There was no actual news—but lots of reporters filling in time until something happened. Holly turned down the sound until it was background noise—a soft rumble of voices in the quiet room. Nobody could sleep, so we stayed and waited. And waited some more.
My eyes felt as though I had matchsticks propping them open, but I couldn’t sleep. I’d doze briefly, and then jerk awake. “I’m glad I’m here,” I said to Jasper. “I’d hate to be on my own.”
“It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.” He dropped a kiss on my temple and turned back to his phone. That wasn’t true though. He meant now, not in a few weeks’ time.
I snuggled closer, needing his touch, his strength to anchor me. Any thoughts I’d had to protect my heart were as useless as an umbrella in a hurricane. I was in love with Jasper. And I’d be devastated when he left.
*
Every time my phone rang, it was Mum or one of my brothers, but nobody had news. By seven in the morning, I was crawling the walls with anxiety. Holly had one more text from Zack, but he had nothing either. There was no question of me going to work today. Holly had a day off booked anyway, and Jasper shuffled around his clients at the gym.
The first glimmer of good news was when Iain called to say the cloud base lifted enough for a chopper to go out and search. By this time, the media was in a feeding frenzy. Reports of Roddy Genesys being missing flashed around the world, and someone spoke up about Dad leading the tramp. That meant my mum’s phone had to be switched off, as journalists were calling constantly.
I rubbed my face, and for the hundredth time wished this nightmare was over. “It’s no good,” I said. “I don’t want to sit here any longer. “Let’s go and wait with the SAR people.”
Jasper pulled a face. “It’s not that easy. They started at Otaki Forks, but if they get choppered out, it’ll take them back to the base at Masterton, and we’ll have a two-hour drive in the opposite direction to get there. Much as I hate it, it’s best to wait here.”
He was right, and I should have known that. I did know that, but I was tired and worried and not thinking straight.
We picked at some toast, and then flicked through the news channels online. They wouldn’t hear anything before us, but it made me feel as though I was doing something. I learned more about Roddy Genesys than I needed to know, and far more about Cindy. She never ate gluten. Her favorite drink was Lime Caprioska. She only wore Italian lingerie. I skipped over that one, and then flicked to another page, only to be confronted by the Instagram picture of Cindy with Jasper on the beach. I stalled again at how beautiful they were together.
I sat at the kitchen table, staring at my laptop, and Jasper peeked over my shoulder. “Ugh. I hate that shot. My mates called me Jassy for months after that. You have no idea how much stick I took.”
I tried to crack a smile. Failed. “Why did you break up? You said she was needy, but what forced it?” —The fuck? Was I so in need of a distraction that I wanted to talk about Cindy?
“Needy. Yup. That sums her up, but I tried to ignore it. I didn’t give her enough attention, and she cheated on me.” His voice was low. With my back to him, I couldn’t see his expression. “Just a one-night stand, and she said it didn’t mean anything. I was stupid to take her back, but she swore it would never happen again. Only it did, and that time, when I pulled the plug, it was final.”
“I’m sorry.” It was inadequate, but I didn’t know what else to say.
“Fuck. I might as well tell you everything. I was boring, she said. Stuck in small-town-ville. Never wanting anything bigger. Did the same old shit, day in and day out. You get my drift.”
I had to see him. I pushed back my chair carefully, taking care not to bump into his legs. I stood, turned, and wrapped my arms around his neck. “She was wrong. You know that. Totally wrong.”
His gaze was unfocused. “Not completely. I never thought of leaving here until then. I was happy with what we had. What I thought we had. So I decided to shake up my life, and yeah... Agreed to a race, fucked my car, fucked my leg, and nearly freakin’ killed myself. All to prove to fuck-knows-whom that there was something more to me.”
He dropped his gaze to meet mine. “You know the rest.”
“There’s plenty more to you. You don’t have to prove anything.”
“Yes, I do. If I don’t leave now, I never will. It’s like I’ve been given a second chance, and I’m not going to waste it.”
He wasn’t going to waste it on me. My emotions could have been spun in glass; I felt so brittle. How many more reminders did I need? I was relieved when Holly dashed up, phone in hand. If she hadn’t interrupted us, I might have said something irrevocable.
“It’s Zack.” She laid the phone on the table and pressed the speaker button. I froze. All I heard was the pulse booming in my ears, but then Zack’s voice filtered into the kitchen, faint and crackling.
“We found them.”