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“I should go.” I felt eerily calm.
Something flashed across Jasper’s face, so quickly I couldn’t identify it. Fear? Relief? “Stay,” he said, his voice rough. “At least until Zack gets here and tells us what happened.”
Should I? “No.” I threw back the comforter and scrambled out of bed. “Not now.”
“Caitlin.”
“I said no.” I was the biggest fool in history. He didn’t lead me on or pretend it was anything other than a fling. I had only myself to blame.
“Don’t—”
“Don’t what? Don’t get more attached to you than I should? Don’t imagine we might have any kind of future together? Too late. I already did.” Where were my shoes? In the hall, probably.
My heart was shattered into a million pieces. I couldn’t imagine ever being able to feel this way again.
Jasper tried to stop me again, but I dodged his outstretched hand and clattered down the corridor to the front door. One of the dogs trotted to me, but I ignored her. My goal was to get out and get back to my cottage, to lick my wounds in peace.
We’d been around this loop. The first time we slept together, he regretted it and we argued. I should have kept my distance and not gotten in any deeper.
“Caitlin?” Holly called to me from the kitchen doorway. “Where are you going?”
“Home.” I snatched my jacket and tugged on my tennis shoes.
“But—”
“Let her go, Hol.” Jasper emerged from his room. He leaned against the wall, his shoulders slumped. He looked as exhausted as I felt.
“What happened?” Holly ignored her brother. “Are you okay, Caitlin?”
She was so nice. So like her brother.
“It’s complicated,” I said, “but I have to go. Thank you for everything.”
I couldn’t get away fast enough. I hurried back to my cottage and tried not to see the reality that faced me. My temporary new premises were located in Jasper’s gym. I couldn’t avoid seeing him.
Sleep would have been good, but it eluded me. I lay on my bed, stared at the ceiling, and made a list in my head. Top billing went to pulling up my big-girl panties and behaving like a grownup, not a spoiled brat. Second was the need to find a new kitchen. Seeing Jasper every day wouldn’t be healthy. If he asked, I’d cave in and sleep with him again. Jasper-sex was like a drug, and I craved another fix.
Dad eventually called me, safe from home. The Hollywood guy had left his camera behind at one of their rest stops, and they’d had to double back to find it. The rain was worse than expected, and when one of the other trampers twisted an ankle in the mud, they decided to take a shortcut down the hill, to shelter in the bush, instead of continuing along an exposed ridge. Trapped by a rapidly rising river, and with one person unable to walk, they’d made an emergency camp and activated the beacon.
Dad only stayed on the line long enough to reassure me all was well, but I was glad to speak to him. I caught the TV news report with Roddy Genesys telling the world how amazing New Zealand was, and how he had a new-found admiration of the SAR service. He was making a big donation from his personal funds to buy them more equipment, and couldn’t praise them highly enough.
I should thank Sam and Zack for their part in the rescue. That went on my list too.
What should I do with myself this evening? I craved the oblivion of sleep, but I couldn’t force myself to relax. I wasn’t hungry, and packing my bags took no time at all. I’d go to the gym tomorrow, to finish the orders I’d taken, but I wouldn’t stay longer than necessary.
Searching through the ads was as depressing as before, with nothing new that matched my requirements. Should I take Bruce’s offer of the helpdesk job, and leave baking as a hobby again?
No. But maybe Bruce could help another way.
The Oriental Bay property was still available.
I placed a call to Bruce, and he picked up on the second ring.
“Caitlin. I saw the news. You must be relieved. I’m glad your dad’s okay.”
“Yes, I’m very happy he’s home, but that’s not why I’m calling.”
“You want to apply for the job?”
“No. I want to offer you a business opportunity. Invest in my cake-making business, and I’ll give you a share of the profits.” I made sure I spoke precisely. “You owe me, Bruce. And I know you can afford it.” I outlined how it would work and what my plans were, and then I waited for his response.
“Aww, Caitlin, I’d love to help, but I’m pretty sure Pammy wouldn’t like it. She’s worried you’re too dependent on me, and that I should cut you loose. She didn’t like me offering you the helpdesk role.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Wow. I don’t know what to say, other than forget it. And find someone else to make your wedding cake, because I’m not doing that now.” I disconnected and stared at my phone. Did that conversation really happen? Pammy was stressing because she didn’t like Bruce talking to me? Weird.
There was another call I could make, and this was another longshot, but hey—that was all I had left.
I called Helen, the cheesecake maker, and asked if they’d like to share the Oriental Bay premises with me. Split the bills. Joint marketing. Our businesses would work together, to make it a success.
She sounded excited at the idea and promised to talk to Trish, her business partner, and get back to me.
That would be the perfect solution—gorgeous premises in a lovely part of the city, well away from Kapiti and anything to do with Jasper.
So why didn’t I feel happier?