Marissa watched her mother as she helped her grandfather out of the back of her car. He didn’t object the way he typically would. Instead he thanked her, then he turned to Marissa and winked.
“What should we do first?” she asked as she stepped to his side.
Her parents had shown up earlier in the day. To break the ice, her grandfather had gotten her dad talking about the house he wanted to build. That had kept the two men busy all day.
Her grandfather nodded in the direction of the craft booths. “I reckon I’d start over there with the crafts, baked goods and doodads you women seem to like. Me and Joe will head on over to the funnel cakes. I’ve got a hankering for something fried.”
Her grandfather gave her a triumphant look as he headed for the funnel cakes. She couldn’t help but smile. He seemed a different man from the one she’d met when she’d first shown up.
As they walked, her dad matched his steps to her grandfather’s and the two men talked as if they’d known each other for years, not days.
“This suits you,” her mom said as they walked toward the craft booths.
Marissa looked up surprised. “Suits me?”
Her mom touched her hair. “Well, other than the hair. This town. Your grandfather. You seem happy.”
Marissa glanced around, at the tents where tables were set up to sell crafts, desserts and other items. Children were playing in a bounce house. In less than an hour the churches would start the program. Two plays, several songs and the nativity story read by Pastor Matthews. The booth rentals, as well as money from the funnel cakes, would go to the shelter.
“I can’t deny that I like it here,” she admitted after some thought.
“I can see that,” her mom acknowledged, pulling her close to hug her. “It’s a comfortable place. I hadn’t really thought about it a lot since I was a little girl. But I remember being happy here.”
“It’s a shame you never got to come back.”
Her mom lifted one shoulder in an elegant but casual gesture. “Yes, I guess it was a shame. I never thought too much about it. We left. I don’t know why we left, but it happened. My mother came in one day and told me to pack a bag and hug my father goodbye. It must have been traumatic because I didn’t think much about it until I came here to get you. That’s when the memories rolled over me.”
“I do love Granddad,” she told her mother. “He took me in and even though he grumbled a bit, I knew from the start that he wouldn’t want me gone.”
“No, I can’t suppose he would.” Her mom reached for her hand. “And I owe you an apology. I’ve not been a good mother.”
“We all did our best.” But she really didn’t want to talk about what had happened. Fortunately her mother seemed of the same mind and the conversation ended.
Marissa’s gaze drifted over the crowd and landed on one person. Alex stood near his truck. He had the gray pony tied to the post of a round pen. A crowd of children had gathered for pony rides.
“You’re not going to give everything up for a cowboy? Are you?” her mother asked as they walked to a craft booth with beaded jewelry.
She glanced past her mom and saw that Alex was watching. Would it really be giving everything up? “Mom, I don’t want to discuss this.”
Discussing it would be pointless. Because she did have to leave, but she was leaving behind more than she’d ever expected. Her grandfather, Bea, Essie, Alex, even the animals. She’d come here to get over a failed attempt at a wedding and now she was going to have to get over being here.
But this she could come back to.
“I’m sorry,” her mom said as the two of them looked over the jewelry. “I know that you have your own choices to make. I would just hate for you to give up everything on a whim.”
She wanted to tell her mom that nothing she did was on a whim. If her mom knew her better, she would know that Marissa planned everything. She wouldn’t walk away from those plans for fear of letting her parents down.
They were paying for their purchases when Pastor Matthews approached with a woman Marissa had seen at church but hadn’t met. She smiled a greeting at the two as she and her mother started to move onto the next booth.
“Marissa, wait, if you don’t mind.” Pastor Matthews spoke quickly before Marissa could leave. “I have someone I want you to meet.”
“I’m Theresa Wilkins, I’m the superintendent of the district school. I’ve heard so much about you and I was hoping, if you’re planning on staying in the community, that we could sit down and talk.”
“Talk?” Marissa gave her mom a worried glance, because this was probably the last thing her mom wanted to hear.
“About a job,” Theresa continued. “We’re a small school and we lose a lot of younger teachers to bigger schools, where there are more opportunities and better pay. We’re looking for teachers who will be committed to our community and stay with us.”
A job. Marissa couldn’t help it, her gaze slid to where Alex led the pony, Cobalt, around the pen. A little boy was riding the pony and even from a distance appeared to be having the time of his life.
“I’m sorry, I already have a job.”
“Well, if those circumstances should change, please call us.”
“I will. Thank you.”
Pastor Matthews and Theresa Wilkins left and Marissa returned to her mother’s side. Neither of them mentioned the job opportunity. They made a few more purchases, then found their way to the music, where Marissa’s father and grandfather waited. The two men had found chairs near the band and they were listening to music and finishing off a funnel cake.
“I have to go inside soon,” Marissa said after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. “I have to find Bea.”
What she needed was a moment alone to think, and to maybe grieve the job offer she couldn’t take. It was the job she had always wanted. As she made her excuses and walked away from the others, she thought about the fact that it wasn’t forever. There would be other job openings in the future. Maybe someday she could return to Bluebonnet to live and to build a life for herself.
The halls of the church were quiet and as she walked, she prayed, something she hadn’t done much of in her life. It felt foreign, to take those few moments and her worries and give them to God. It felt like whispering secrets into the dark as a child, hoping someone could hear.
“Marissa,” a voice, strong and familiar, called to her from the end of the hall.
She spun around and faced Alex, plastering a shaky smile on her face. “Hey. I was afraid I wouldn’t get a chance to tell you goodbye.”
“It is goodbye then,” he said as he drew closer, stepping out of the shadows. “I was hoping you would take Theresa’s offer.”
“You knew?”
“Well, yes. I told her you might be interested in a job. I wasn’t sure.”
She blinked away silly tears. For a few minutes she’d thought that she’d done this on her own. Someone had wanted her for her abilities and not her connections. It didn’t really matter now. It wasn’t as if she could take the job anyway.
“Of course,” she said hesitantly because she didn’t know what should come next. Her thoughts tumbled through her mind. She was hurt that the job hadn’t really been about her skills, but hopeful because he wanted her to stay. Or maybe not. Maybe he’d just been helping her get what he thought she wanted.
“Marissa?”
She wanted to stay close to him. Even there, in the hallway, she didn’t want to walk away. She wanted him to say something that mattered. But she was afraid of what he might, or might not say.
“I have to go find Bea,” she said. “But thank you. I can’t take the job. I already have one.”
“Yes, I know.”
As she walked away she thought he whispered that he would miss her.
* * *
Alex sat on the opposite side of the church from Marissa and her family. Lucy sat on one side of him. Maria sat on the other. As if they thought he needed their protection. To top it off, they kept giving him cautious looks, as if they thought he was falling apart.
He wasn’t. He was pretty close to frantic, though. That wasn’t what he’d expected to feel. It was the crazed feeling a person gets when they see someone about to drive away, and there was no way to stop them. He’d felt this way before, when their mother left the first time. She said she couldn’t take it anymore and she’d gotten in a car and left.
From time to time she breezed back into their lives as if she hadn’t crushed them as children. As if she hadn’t let them down. Each time she’d left he’d wanted to chase after her and bring her back, because Maria had needed more than a maniac father and siblings who couldn’t be a mother to her.
He hated the feeling.
He wanted to run from it, but not after the person leaving. Because he guessed if he ran after her, he would always be running after her, trying to convince her to stay. He started to get up but Maria put a hand on his arm.
He sat back down.
Bea had moved from the audience to the stage. A movement on the other side of the sanctuary caught his attention. He glanced at Marissa taking her seat at the piano. A hush fell over the crowd. Marissa began to play and then Bea’s voice joined.
Throughout the sanctuary were surprised murmurs. People who hadn’t seen Bea’s last performance were in awe. He sat in awe of the woman at the piano. He couldn’t help but remember the bedraggled bride, rain pouring down her face, threatening him with her high-heeled shoe. He grinned a little.
Maria elbowed him in the side.
“Don’t be a moron,” she whispered.
“Hush,” he said.
“Don’t let her go.”
“Quiet,” Lucy whispered. “But she’s right.”
“Not. My. Choice,” he murmured.
Bea caught his attention again. She had moved to Marissa’s side. They joined together singing “Carol of the Bells.” He closed his eyes and drew in a steadying breath. Tonight the woman at that piano was going to leave town, walk out of his life, and he would miss her.
He didn’t quite know what to do about it. Chase her car down the road like a scared kid? Beg her to stay?
No, he wouldn’t do either of those. She had to make her own decisions about staying or leaving. She had to want to be in Bluebonnet. For now she’d made her decision. She’d chosen Dallas.
He had things to focus on. He had his own stuff to take care of. The auction was a week away. He was running out of time.
What could he offer Marissa? Not much, he guessed.
After the program ended he spotted her talking to a group of people. She saw him and he told himself it was happiness that lit up her face and that he had something to do with that happiness. She excused herself and headed his way.
“I wanted another chance to say goodbye,” he told her.
“I’m glad.” She took his hand in hers. “I’m so glad you found me on the side of the road that day.”
“Would it be wrong to say that I’m glad Aidan picked the caterer instead of you?”
She laughed at that. “I think I’m kind of glad, too.”
“I’m trying to do more than say goodbye.”
“Don’t.” She leaned close to him. “It’ll hurt too much. I have to go. My parents... I feel like I’ve spent a lifetime letting them down and if I don’t go home, I’ll be letting them down again.”
“I’m not going to beg you to stay, but I would like to see you again. I’ll drive to Dallas. Or if you’re here visiting Dan.”
“I would like that.” She kissed his cheek. “I have to go now.”
It sounded like goodbye in more ways than one. More of a “we’ll do lunch” than an “I really want you in my life.”
Her hand pulled free from his and he stood there watching her walk away. Who knew a city girl in a wedding dress could change his life and everything he’d thought he wanted? But she had and he knew if she didn’t come back, he would miss her forever.