Bobsledding is like bungee jumping. It's terrifying in the most life-affirming way. There's a pilot, a totally trained professional. I could see Hannah's whole face relax when she realized that. And it is a little bit grueling, but my shoulder was fine. The best part — even better than the wind and the speed and the rollercoaster-esque dipping — was the way Hannah squealed with fearful delight. The way she was pressed up into me because I was behind her. The way she smiled at the bottom when it was done, like she'd just discovered the meaning of life, and jumped up and hugged me like we'd won Gold together. Yeah, that was what made the adventure so memorable.
We exchanged the sweater for Ariel, grabbed poutine and beers for lunch, and then got in my car and started the trip home. She was still animated and chatty, going over the entire bobsled experience in detail again as I drove, and I was happy. Truly, deeply happy.
About twenty minutes outside of Vancouver, the adrenaline starts to wear off, and she grows quieter and stares out the window. I clear my throat and speak because nothing that feels this good should disappear. Not without a fight. “I’ve been really lonely in Vancouver for the last two and a half years. I’m so far from home and everything I know and love in New York. Everyone likes me on the team, but I’m nobody’s real friend, except for Ellery. And maybe Nolan and Felicity, sort of. But they don’t really know me. They think I’m big, dumb, silly but sweet Wall.”
“Then maybe you should stop pretending you’re big, dumb, silly but sweet Wall,” Hannah replies quietly but with a firmness to her tone. “If you showed everyone how intelligent you are, both emotionally and intellectually, you’d have a lot more friends. Jayden would love you, for one. And women… hell every twenty-something in Vancouver would be beating down your door.”
“What about the thirty-somethings?” I ask, and I hate that it probably sounds weak and needy. “I think that’s more my thing. I want a woman who is confident, can take care of herself. Someone who wants me but doesn’t need me. Someone who makes me earn her trust and her affection and expects to earn mine. With a witty comeback or an intelligent debate, not with her great tits and ass.”
Hannah stares at me and lets out a breathy laugh. “There are women your age that have all of that. You just have to look harder.”
“Why look for what I’ve already found?”
She turns her whole torso to face me, abruptly, like I just shocked the living hell out of her. Seriously? Has she not been paying attention? I am completely infatuated with her. “Jeremiah. We can NOT date.”
“Because you aren’t interested in me for anything more than a sexual thing?” I ask and I really do not want her to say yes. Because I don’t want a bed buddy. That has never been my thing.
"Because I'm a mother. I'm your teammate's mother," she says her face getting a little pink, like the whole conversation is humiliating. "Your captain's mother. Do you know how much that would freak people out? Do you want Jayden to be the laughingstock of the NHL? Do you want to be? I… I mean we had fun but—"
“We had more than fun,” I interrupt. She cocks her head and huffs, so I continue. “I mean, our fun was more than just fun. For me. I like you. I am genuinely happy when you’re around. I want to know more about you. I want to date you, and I don’t give a flying fuck what other hockey players say. Or the media. Or my family. Or, with all due respect, my captain.”
“Well, I care,” she replies as I veer onto the Lion’s Gate Bridge. The city looks wet, but there’s no snow in sight. As usual, the near-constant drizzle that falls relentlessly November through March has washed away all signs of a snowstorm. We’re less than fifteen minutes from her condo. The same building where Jayden lives. And her aunt. The woman I thought was Jayden’s mom. He explained to me on our hike that he bought them all condos in Yaletown.
She’s silent, and the mood in my SUV is dark. Pained. And I hate that my pushing may have hurt her. I didn’t want that. But the idea of her getting out of my car and this just ending like it never happened… It fucking guts me.
I’m still trying to figure out how to fix this as I pull into the visitor parking in front of her swanky high-rise overlooking False Creek. She has her cute nose buried in her phone now. “Jayden took Ariel to her influencer thing. He’s not happy about it but…”
“So listen, I don’t mean to be an alpha asshole about this,” I say rubbing the back of my neck as I turn off the car. “I respect your feelings. I just… I haven’t felt this connected to a person in a long time.”
“I’m eleven years older than you, Jeremiah.”
“Technically, ten and a half. I asked Jay your birthday on the hike the other day. Pretended I was into zodiac signs. You have a beautiful Pisces moon rising in you, by the way.”
She stares, almost bug-eyed before the grin she’s fighting wins the battle and spreads across her entire face. She covers her face and laughs into her hands. “You are so…”
“Charming? Witty? Incredibly gifted at giving you orgasms?”
Her laugh deepens for a second, but she quells it and looks up at me. Her skin is pinked, and her eyes are glassy and bright, and fuck, is begging off the table? I am not too proud to beg for a chance with this woman. "You are most definitely all of that. But this still can't work. People used to assume I was Jayden's sister when I would go to his games when he was in the juniors. And then, when they were corrected, the looks… And the only time he's ever been reprimanded for his behavior on the ice was when he punched a guy during the playoffs while they were doing the handshakes. Because the guy said something along the lines of 'Hey if your hot mom wants to spread her legs again, I'd be up to making another bastard with her.'"
“I remember that. Jayden was suspended for the rest of the series. It was the year before his draft, and it was all people would talk about. They thought it would affect whether got chosen as the first overall pick,” I think back to the news coverage I vaguely remember. I didn’t think the Comets would draft Jayden, let alone make him our captain, so I didn’t pay much attention. But looking back, no one ever talked about why he decked that guy. “I would have done the same thing. Good for Jay.”
“That’s the problem,” Hannah sighs. “Even if I wanted to entertain the idea we could date. That this hormone-infused connection is more than just two lonely horny people getting off, both you and Jayden would have to deal with trash talk like that. And you just said you’d slug someone, so… I am not letting that happen.”
“I… I mean I could control myself,” I stutter, knowing the damage is done.
Hannah unclips her seatbelt and hops out of the car. I hop out too and make it around to her side in time to help her get her bags out of the back seat. “Hannah, will you please just think about it? No one has to know. Not at first. We can just get to know each other. I won’t even try to get in your pants. I swear. I’ll prove that this is about more than just hot how you look riding my cock.”
“Oh my God…” she hisses out and covers her face again. Then she turns away. “Go home, Jeremiah. Thank you for the lift."
“Hannah…” she stops walking. Leaving her luggage right there in the middle of the parking lot, she turns back and walks over to me, and, after glancing left and right, she cups my cheek on one side and presses her lips to the other cheek.
“You’ll get over it, Jeremiah. I promise,” she whispers. “And FYI riding your cock made this my best Christmas on record. Take care. And show people who you really are.”
And then she’s gone. Rushing to her front door. Leaving me feeling as soggy and depressing as the rainy Vancouver sky.