Yep. Still hate this.
Tyler rubs my back, between my shoulders as I stand at the back of the team booth, looking out at the ice rink below. He’s been nothing but sweet since Christmas. He calls or texts me almost every day. We’ve gone to dinner once. It was nice. He tried to kiss me goodnight and I gave him the cheek. But he still called me the next day.
I don’t want him to go away. I want to stop thinking of Jeremiah every moment I’m with Tyler. I want to stop thinking of Jeremiah when I’m alone in bed. When I’m grocery shopping. When I’m doing everything. I most definitely want my body to stop reacting like I’ve been tased every time Jayden mentions his name. When I can detox from Jeremiah, I can give Tyler an actual shot. So I just need to keep him around.
So I smile up at him now, wrap an arm around his waist, and give him a quick side hug. And that's when Jeremiah walks in. Of course. His eyes land right on me immediately, despite the fact several other people are milling around. Tina, for example, is standing by the door in front of the snack table. But nope, those intense blue eyes of his only seem to see me. And I both hate him and adore him for it.
“Hannah? Honey?” Tyler coaxes and I blink.
“What? Sorry. I… I get nervous before Jayden’s games,” I confess, but that’s not why I completely zoned out on my host.
Tyler smiles and rubs my back again. “So it’s not just because you think you don’t fit in with the other friends and family. Well, don’t worry. He’ll be fine, and you can relax up here.”
“Yeah, Hannah,” Tina pipes up. “Have a cupcake. They have the cutest Comets logo made out of frosting.”
"Thanks. I appreciate this," I tell Tyler, ignoring Tina and Jeremiah, who is walking by us all in a blur of expensive suit and warm, musky aftershave. My ovaries start doing jumping jacks.
It’s only been eight days since I last saw him, but damn. I inhale his scent, and my eyes feast on how good he looks in a suit with his shaggy light brown hair slicked back. He wasn’t wearing a sling. Jayden had mentioned that he was basically one hundred percent, but they wanted to give him one more game to be sure. I didn’t think he’d spend that game here, in the Executive box, which is why I accepted when Tyler invited me to watch the game from up here. I assumed Jeremiah would be in the friends-and-family box, which was on the other side of the arena, where Ariel was.
Tyler gives me a kiss on the cheek, and I force myself not to flinch. Jeremiah’s watching. Even though he’s standing behind me, I can feel it. “I’ll be on the ice, but come down to the locker room level after the game and I’ll meet you. Our coaching offices are there.”
I nod, and Tyler turns to Jeremiah with a smile. “Another game from the box. You must be so frustrated.”
"You have no idea," Jeremiah replies, his voice hard.
Tyler doesn’t get the double-entendre, but I do, and I look away. Tina is watching everything with a passive smile, but her dark eyes are slightly wide and bright. She knows something’s up. She just doesn’t know what. Tyler waves goodbye to her as he leaves.
There are about five other people in the executive box including the team's Assistant General Manager Ellery Isles, who also happens to be the owner's daughter. And his son, the director of hockey operations, Deacon Isles. The owner himself isn't here, but Jeremiah and another injured player named Ryder Finch are. And Tina and I.
I turn my back on them all as Jeremiah walks over to the railing to stare down at the ice and Ellery Isles joins him. “See, that’s who he should be with,” I mutter to myself under my breath. “She’s pretty, young, successful.”
“What?” Tina says coming up beside me and leaning in. “Are you talking to the shrimp ring or to yourself?”
“Myself,” I reply and grab a plate. I’m not hungry, but I don’t want to sit down until Jeremiah has found a seat. So I can sit as far away from him as possible.
I pluck some sushi rolls off a platter and drizzle soy sauce on them. I glance at Tina. She has a little bit of every single thing on the snack table on her plate and a full glass of Prosecco in her hand. I quirk an eyebrow.
“What? We’re guests of the captain of the team. It would be rude not to take it.”
I smile, but my eyes dart over to where Jeremiah is leaning on the railing in the corner of the box. Ellery is rubbing his back. I feel a sharp twinge of jealousy. My face must reflect it. Tina pops a shrimp in her mouth, chews while observing me, and when she swallows, she asks, “Are you going to tell me what I’m missing here or make me guess?”
“Neither,” I reply. “I love you, but mind your own business.”
“My business is definitely not this intriguing,” she retorts.
I pick up a bottle of water out of one of the ice buckets and slowly turn around. Would Jeremiah just sit down already? I sigh. Tina sighs too, but out of annoyance, and then she leaves me and takes a seat in the second row of plush seats. There are three rows with four seats on each of the middle aisle. Each row from the railing back gets higher and higher so no one has an obstructed view. I don’t like the middle row. It means Jeremiah could sit right in front of me and I would have to watch him with Ellery. Or he could sit behind me and I would feel his gaze on me all night. Tina would probably insist on calling the paramedics because I’ll be flushed the entire time.
But I can't very well sit somewhere other than beside my aunt. It would draw attention. So I start to make my way to the seat beside her. She says, "Excuse me, Jeremiah?"
And I freeze. He turns around, and Tina gives him a happy little wave. "I heard you spent Christmas with my family. I want to hear all about it. However, did you endure a snowstorm with my niece? She's a Californian at heart. Snow makes her kind of crazy."
Jeremiah smiles at that. And it’s bold and beautiful, and his light eyes find mine, and I swear to God my whole body blushes. It starts in my girl bits and blooms over my skin in a rush of color. I turn away and walk back over to the snack table to get a glass of wine. I’m going to need it.
Tina manages to get Jeremiah to sit down right next to her and tells me to sit next to him. He smiles innocently and pats the seat. I could almost laugh this is so comical. As we stand for the national anthems, he spends the whole time singing both the Canadian and American one in perfect pitch, while his fingers dangle precariously close to mine by our sides. Our fingers brush and tangle and pull away and then do it again.
I feel both ashamed and excited. And then it all turns to sour irritation. I shove my hands in my pockets.
The game starts. Jayden plays great. The Comets score first, but the visiting team ties it up moments later. I lean forward, elbows on my knees, and act like I’ve never seen a hockey game before, and it’s the most interesting thing in the world while Tina and Jeremiah chat. They talk about everything. Tina asks him questions about the game, where he’s from, what growing up in a big city like New York was like. Jeremiah is acting like the Jeremiah I know. The intelligent, passionate, articulate guy who I was snowed in with. It's not helping me quell this infatuation.
I notice his fellow player, Ryder, keeps shooting glances over at Jeremiah. He's clearly never heard Jeremiah be Jeremiah. He only knows the big dumb puppy routine. I wonder if Jeremiah realizes he's outing himself. Ellery, on the other hand, is sitting right in front of us, can hear every word, and doesn't seem the least bit shocked. In fact, she glances over her shoulder and smiles. He smiles back.
That horrible feeling of jealousy curdles like expired milk in my gut. I put down my wine glass, which only has a swig left in it anyway, and twist the cap off my water bottle. The game continues. There's a hard hit, a scuffle behind the net, but someone makes a perfect pass to Jayden, and he slips one through the goalie's five hole. I jump to my feet. Finally, an emotion I can handle —pride.
The buzzer sounds to end the first. I am suddenly annoyed hockey has three periods. I'm going to be stuck here with Jeremiah forever. Deacon, Finch, and Ellery disappear from the room, and now it's just Tina flirting with Jeremiah and him charming her pants off. I stand up, mutter something about needing the ladies' room, and leave.
“There’s a private bathroom right there,” Jeremiah points to the door up at the back of the room.
“Thank you.”
I lock myself in there until I hear the room fill up again and then head out. Jeremiah has moved back to the front, leaning on the railing, but he left his suit jacket on the chair beside Tina. I drape it over the chair at the end of our aisle and take its place. Tina is watching me with a smirk on her face. “What?”
“You tell me,” Tina counters. “You just spent, like, twenty minutes in the bathroom. You alright?”
“Fine. I just…” I stop talking.
“You just want to make it as obvious as possible that you either really hate that man or really like him,” Tina finishes for me.
"What? No!" I hiss at her like an angry cat. My eyes move to where Jeremiah is standing next to Ellery. She's laughing at something, and he's hanging his head, shaking it as if sheepish. "And he's not a man. He's a boy. He's only a few years older than Jay."
Tina starts to nod slowly, and a knowing smile creeps into her mouth. "Ah… okay. I get it now."
“Get what?”
“You like him, but you think he’s too young,” Tina announces in a hushed whisper, but I still hiss out a shush at her. She chuckles. Chuckles! “My darling, in case you haven’t noticed, he has a crush on you. Everything we talked about over the first period, he managed to weave you into the conversation. Hannah is a great mom. Hannah has a great sense of humor. Hannah was so nice taking me in for Christmas.”
I bite my bottom lip. Tina stares, then lifts an eyebrow and leans right into my ear. “Did you… take him in for Christmas, honey? Is that why you’re acting as nervous as a whore in church?”
"Tia!" I bark out, and she laughs as everyone, including Jeremiah, glances our way. I smile tightly at everyone. "Sorry, everyone." I stand up.
“Where are you going?”
“I need the ladies’ room,” I tell her through gritted teeth.
A whistle blows on the ice, but I don’t even turn around, heading for the bathroom. A moment later, there is a knock. I don’t want to open it, but technically, I don’t have to. This is a two-stall unisex bathroom, so there’s no lock and anyone can enter. The door swings open, and Ellery walks in with a smile on her face. She is a beautiful woman, probably in her early thirties. Slightly older than Jeremiah but a less scandalous age than me. And she seems to get along great with him.
“Hi,” she says with a friendly smile. “You okay?”
I nod. "Yes. Thanks. I'm just… I'm not a fan of live games. I get nervous for Jayden and I just… I feel out of place."
Her smile shifts to sympathetic. "It's a lot with the fans who can get kind of nosy, not to mention the media who make it their job to be nosy. And do not even get me started on the wives and girlfriends. I have seen some actual catfights. And some of the blowhard parents act like they're the ones on the ice, not their kids. Yeah, I grew up around this. I get it."
I nod. “I’m happy Jayden loves what he does, and I always did everything I could to make his path as simple as possible. But it’s one hundred percent his path. I steer clear on all fronts. And when I’m here… well, I feel like it diverts attention sometimes. People look at me and whisper. I’ve gotten it his whole career. He hates it.”
“I know,” she leans against the sink, tugging on the front of her blouse which is a little too big for her. I’ve seen Ellery a few times since Jayden started playing here and she’s always immaculately dressed, so it’s odd. “Full disclosure, he had a meeting with me and our marketing lead, Martine, when he started to say his family is completely off limits. He’s very protective of you and your aunt, but he’s also very proud of you. He’s told me.”
I smile. “He’s a good son.”
She looks at the tile between us and then back up at me. “I imagine it was hard being a single mom.”
“It’s not as hard as you think,” I say, and a myriad of memories table through my brain. Jayden taking his first steps, the way he used to cuddle with Tina, the smile on his face when he glided across the ice for the first time as a little guy without assistance. The way he used to tell me everything when he was a teen, without prompting. “I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s not ideal. And I had some struggles, but they were mostly financial, and in the end, none of that matters. The love is what you remember.”
She's hanging on my every word with rapt attention. I clear my throat and step back. "I should get back I guess."
“Yeah,” Ellery nods and smiles. “Jeremiah is going to be shitting bricks out there, worried we’re talking about him.”
I should be walking toward the door, but I’m stuck like she just glued my feet to the floor. “Why would we be—”
“I know,” she confesses, and I instantly turn red. She grabs my hand, which I was using to brace myself against the sink so I didn’t tip over from humiliation. “Please don’t be mad. I’m his best friend. We tell each other virtually everything. And for the record, I have been sworn to secrecy, and I never break promises.”
“I… we made a mistake.”
“It wasn’t a mistake,” Ellery corrects me. “The mistake you’re making is worrying too much about what other people will think.”
“Ellery, you don’t understand.”
She shakes her head to argue. "I do. I know what it will look like. I know Jayden will take a little heat for it. So will Jer. But Hannah, I also know, that in the end, if you think there's something there, something real between you too, it's worth it. All the sneers, the whispers, the noise it might create will be worth it. It's like you said about being a single mom. Same principle. There'll be struggles, but in the end, all you'll remember is the love."
She lets go of my hand and walks into a stall, closes the door, and calls out. "Now get out there before he has some kind of aneurysm."
Jeremiah’s heated gaze is on me as soon as I step out of the box. I look away. I know Ellery’s intentions are good, but… I don’t think I can do it. I sit down next to Tina. Jeremiah is on the other side of her. Tina pats his shoulder and turns to me. “Did you know they’re auctioning off a date with this hunk at the charity event next week?”
“What?”