Enter FLORIO and DONADO
FLORIO |
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Signor Donado, you have said enough, |
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I understand you, but would have you know |
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I will not force my daughter ’gainst her will. |
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You see I have but two, a son and her; |
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And he is so devoted to his book, |
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As, I must tell you true, I doubt his health. |
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Should he miscarry, all my hopes rely |
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Upon my girl. As for worldly fortune, |
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I am, I thank my stars, blessed with enough. |
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My care is how to match her to her liking: |
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I would not have her marry wealth, but love; |
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And if she like your nephew, let him have her. |
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Here’s all that I can say. |
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DONADO Sir, you say well, |
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Like a true father, and for my part, I, |
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If the young folks can like (’twixt you and me), |
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Will promise to assure my nephew presently |
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Three thousand florins yearly during life, |
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And, after I am dead, my whole estate. |
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FLORIO |
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’Tis a fair proffer, sir. Meantime your nephew |
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Shall have free passage to commence his suit. |
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If he can thrive, he shall have my consent. |
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So for this time I’ll leave you, signor. Exit |
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DONADO Well, |
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Here’s hope yet, if my nephew would have wit; |
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But he is such another dunce, I fear |
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He’ll never win the wench. When I was young |
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I could have done’t, i’ faith, and so shall he |
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If he will learn of me. |
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Enter BERGETTO and POGGIO
And in good time
He comes himself. |
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How now, Bergetto, whither away so fast? |
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BERGETTO |
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O uncle, I have heard the strangest news that ever came out of the |
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mint – have I not, Poggio? |
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POGGIO |
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Yes indeed, sir. |
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DONADO |
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What news, Bergetto? |
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BERGETTO |
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Why, look ye uncle, my barber told me just now that there |
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is a fellow come to town, who undertakes to make a mill go |
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without the mortal help of any water or wind, only with sandbags! |
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And this fellow hath a strange horse, a most excellent beast |
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I’ll assure you, uncle, my barber says, whose head, to the wonder |
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of all Christian people, stands just behind where his tail is. Is’t |
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not true, Poggio? |
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POGGIO |
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So the barber swore, forsooth. |
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DONADO |
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And you are running thither? |
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BERGETTO |
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Ay, forsooth, uncle. |
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DONADO |
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Wilt thou be a fool still? Come, sir, you shall not go. You have more |
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mind of a puppet-play than on the business I told ye. Why, thou |
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great baby, wilt never have wit, wilt make thyself a May-game to |
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all the world? |
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POGGIO |
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Answer for yourself, master. |
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BERGETTO |
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Why, uncle, should I sit at home still, and not go abroad to see |
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fashions like other gallants? |
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DONADO |
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To see hobby-horses! What wise talk, I pray, had you with |
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Annabella, when you were at Signor Florio’s house? |
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BERGETTO |
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O, the wench: Uds sa’ me, uncle, I tickled her with a rare speech, |
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that I made her almost burst her belly with laughing. |
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DONADO |
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Nay, I think so; and what speech was’t? |
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BERGETTO |
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What did I say, Poggio? |
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POGGIO |
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Forsooth, my master said that he loved her almost as well as he |
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loved parmesan, and swore – I’ll be sworn for him – that she |
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wanted but such a nose as his was, to be as pretty a young woman |
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as any was in Parma. |
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DONADO |
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O gross! |
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BERGETTO |
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Nay uncle, then she asked me whether my father had any more |
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children than myself; and I said, ‘No, ’twere better he should have |
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had his brains knocked out first.’ |
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DONADO |
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This is intolerable. |
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BERGETTO |
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Then said she, ‘Will Signor Donado your uncle leave you all his |
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wealth?’ |
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DONADO |
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Ha! That was good, did she harp upon that string? |
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BERGETTO |
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Did she harp upon that string? Ay, that she did. I answered, |
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‘Leave me all his wealth? Why, woman, he hath no other wit; |
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if he had, he should hear on’t to his everlasting glory and confusion. |
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I know,’ quoth I, ‘I am his white boy, and will not be gulled.’ |
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And with that she fell into a great smile, and went away. Nay, |
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I did fit her. |
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DONADO |
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Ah, sirrah, then I see there is no changing of nature. Well, Bergetto, |
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I fear thou wilt be a very ass still. |
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BERGETTO |
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I should be sorry for that, uncle. |
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DONADO |
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Come, come you home with me. Since you are no better a speaker, |
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I’ll have you write to her after some courtly manner, and |
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