[Act II, Scene iv]
Enter DONADO [with a letter], BERGETTO and POGGIO
DONADO |
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Well sir, I must be content to be both your secretary and your messenger |
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myself: I cannot tell what this letter may work, but as sure |
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as I am alive, if thou come once to talk with her, I fear thou wilt |
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mar whatsoever I make. |
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BERGETTO |
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You ‘make’, uncle? Why, am not I big enough to carry mine own |
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letter, I pray? |
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DONADO |
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Ay, ay, carry a fool’s head o’thy own. Why thou dunce, wouldst |
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thou write a letter, and carry it thyself? |
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BERGETTO |
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Yes, that I would, and read it to her with my own mouth; for you |
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must think, if she will not believe me myself when she hears me |
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speak, she will not believe another’s handwriting. O, you think I |
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am a blockhead, uncle! No, sir, Poggio knows I have indited a letter |
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myself, so I have. |
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POGGIO |
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Yes truly, sir, I have it in my pocket. |
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DONADO |
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A sweet one no doubt, pray let’s see’t. |
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[POGGIO gives BERGETTO the letter] |
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BERGETTO |
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Poggio. |
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DONADO |
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Begin. |
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POGGIO (Reads) |
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‘Most dainty and honey-sweet mistress, I could call you |
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fair, and lie as fast as any that loves you; but my uncle being |
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the elder man, I leave it to him as more fit for his age and |
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the colour of his beard. I am wise enough to tell you I can |
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board where I see occasion: or if you like my uncle’s wit better than |
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mine, you shall marry me; if you like mine better than his, |
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I will marry you in spite of your teeth; so commending my best |
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parts to you, I rest |
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Yours upwards and downwards, or you may choose, |
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Bergetto.’ |
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BERGETTO |
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Ah, ha! Here’s stuff, uncle! |
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DONADO |
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Here’s stuff indeed to shame us all. Pray whose advice did you take |
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in this learned letter? |
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POGGIO |
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None, upon my word, but mine own. |
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BERGETTO |
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And mine, uncle, believe it nobody’s else; ’twas mine own brain, |
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I thank a good wit fot’t. |
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DONADO |
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Get you home, sir, and look you keep within doors till I |
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return. |
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BERGETTO |
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How! That were a jest indeed; I scorn it i ’faith. |
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DONADO |
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What, you do not! |
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BERGETTO |
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Judge me, but I do now. |
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Indeed, sir, ’tis very unhealthy. |
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DONADO |
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Well, sir, if I hear any of your apish running to motions and fopperies |
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till I come back, you were as good no: look to’t. Exit |
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BERGETTO |
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Poggio, shall’s steal to see this horse with the head in’s tail? |
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POGGIO |
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Ay, but you must take heed of whipping. |
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BERGETTO |
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Dost take me for a child, Poggio? Come, honest Poggio. |
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Exeunt |
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