I SIT CURLED UP on my bed, my blanket cocooning me. It’s the only comfort I can find right now, but it isn’t worth much. I can feel him. He’s right outside my window. He sees me. Even with this blanket covering me. He sees me.
I gasp when my phone buzzes in my pocket. Someone’s calling me. I look at the screen and see Connor’s number. I debate about answering it or not. Who am I kidding? I need a distraction right now. Anxiety is eating me alive.
Cringing, I answer the phone.
I wait a moment too long before speaking, so Connor speaks first. “Tasia?”
“H-hey,” I manage. “What’s up?”
“Didi and I are in Philadelphia. Our parents took us. They said it’d be good to get out of Reverie for a while and with all that talk about moving, I guess they’re getting serious. So Didi and I were wondering if you wanted to meet up. Do you?”
“Right now?” I ask hastily.
“Well… yeah, actually, that would work.”
Connor tells me the hotel he and his family are staying at. A quick look on Google Maps tells me it isn’t far, so I decide against trying to call Fiona to ask if I can borrow her Camaro. I’d rather deal with my anxiety over Arsen than face Fiona’s wrath if I put a scratch on her beloved car. I don’t even want to think about how that would turn out. I leave a message with Divya, though, so Fiona knows where I’m going and who I’m with. That way I don’t have to disturb my godmother at all.
I don’t waste any time leaving the apartment as soon as I know where I’m going. When the cold air and scattered flakes of new snow hit me, I feel a little better. But that feeling of being watched never goes away. Looking over my shoulder is another nervous habit that’s only gotten worse because of all of my enhanced anxiety lately. My mind tells me he’s right there, right behind me, but when I look to confirm if that’s true, I don’t see him. I’m surrounded by normal people going places just like me. Arsen isn’t here. He isn’t here.
I pick up my pace anyway.
When I arrive at the hotel, I only have to step inside of the foyer to find them. The familiar sight of their bright orange hair sends a wave of relief through my body. They see me as soon as the glass doors slide open for me. They rush for me. Didi hugs me, and Connor gets comfortable by leaning on my shoulder.
“It’s been too long,” Didi groans. “We missed you.”
“I missed you guys, too,” I say, trying to keep my balance.
Connor laughs and rights himself, relieving me of his weight. He steps away and places his hand just under his chin, analyzing me.
“You seem different somehow,” he says.
“W-what?” I ask, suddenly even more anxious.
“He’s right,” Didi agrees, mirroring her brother’s actions. “Have you been working out?”
I laugh nervously. “Yeah! You got me. I’ve been… working out.”
“Let’s get some coffee and talk,” Didi suggests.
“S-sure,” I agree.
The twins lead the way to the coffee shop inside of the hotel while I stay behind them. I find myself looking over my shoulder again. He still isn’t there. He isn’t going to be there. Stupid. This is my anxiety talking, getting out of control. Arsen isn’t here. I’m going to have a good time with my friends. Arsen isn’t here. He isn’t…
“Tasia!”
“H-huh?”
Didi snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Is something wrong? I tried calling your name like five times.” She leans against me and looks over my shoulder. “Did you see a cute guy or something?”
“No!” I feel my face growing hot.
“You totally did,” she accuses.
“I’m just distracted.”
Connor orders us all coffee, and then we sit down at one of the booths.
“Why so distracted, Tasia?” he asks.
“Have you guys heard from Rynne?” I dodge his question with a question of my own.
“Nope. Not since he left Reverie.”
Didi interjects, “I’m sure he’s fine, though. Don’t worry about it.”
I’m not worried about it because I know he’s fine, but I’m kind of surprised he hasn’t said anything to them. I haven’t because I guess I’m trying to respect him. Still…
I ask, “Any new information on the investigation in Reverie? I haven’t heard anything on the news lately.”
“No. The case has just kinda gone cold, you know? It sucks,” Connor says.
The twins tell me about school and how boring it is without me. I appreciate the gesture, but I doubt they even know the meaning of the word. They always find some way to entertain themselves.
“So, are you guys really going to move?” I ask.
“Who knows? Mom and Dad just said they wanted to get out of town for a while at least. Breathe some fresh air. Even though, I can tell you the air in Reverie is definitely cleaner than the air in Philadelphia.” Didi shrugs. “What about you, Tasia? How are you doing?”
I swirl my mostly finished mug of coffee. “I’m okay.”
“Just okay? How’s school here? You make new friends? Tell us all about it,” she insists.
“Uh… school’s great. I haven’t really made any new friends, but you know.”
I glance over my shoulder again. This time I see a figure. A familiar figure. He’s wearing a hoodie, with the hood covering his face. The garment can’t hide his physique, though. He’s too big, too imposing. He abruptly disappears around a corner, like he saw me looking.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I’m making that up. I down the rest of my coffee.
It’s all in my head. It’s all in my…
“Want to see our hotel room?” Connor asks.
“Y-yeah! Show me it,” I reply.
I’m relieved to leave the public area. I’m glad when the twins don’t press me about why I’m acting strange. They show me their hotel room and turn on the TV, flipping through channels until we find some mindless cartoons. I know they recognize how I’ve been acting. They’ve known me too long not to see the signs of my anxiety surfacing, but they’re good friends.
We all sit together on one bed. The twins laugh and joke as they stay close to me, letting me know they’re there and that they care. They let me suck in their warmth as I sit in between them. I take their arms and hold them even closer to me.
I missed them. I’m really glad they’re here. I don’t have any siblings of my own, but I imagine this is what it must be like.