Chapter Forty-Six

 

The USA and China’s women’s gymnastics teams were neck and neck throughout the entire team competition, and the battle for third place among Romania, Russia, and Japan was just as close. In the end, the gold medal came down to two things: Shaye throwing the one and a half flip on the balance beam and one Chinese girl landing on her knees on the uneven bars dismount. The USA margin of victory was eight one-hundredths of a point.

With that, Shaye Sylvester had her first gold medal.

The gold medal competition had always been a two-horse race, but everyone assumed either Russia or Japan would win the bronze. Olga Kovalev was a strong leader, and the Romanian team was in transition and chaos without Trixie guiding the ship. However, the team united under the flag of winning one for Ileana, and Romania came in under the radar and snagged the bronze.

That night, the girls lied side by side on Shaye’s bed. They tacked their medals to the ceiling and stared up at them.

“We did it,” Shaye said. She had been trying to wipe the smile off her face for six hours but couldn’t. “We have Olympic medals.”

“Yours is shinier,” Trixie said, poking her in the ribs.

“Don’t worry. You’ll get one.”

“I’m glad for the bronze.”

“I’m serious. You’ll definitely win vault, possibly even floor, and there’s no telling what might happen on the balance beam. That one’s always a crap shoot.”

“I’m serious, too. I’m glad for the bronze.”

Shaye thought she would have been tired from the stress of the competition, but after the qualifying round, she found herself very relaxed. On the day between events, the girls went and watched the diving competition and the USA men’s basketball team versus Argentina. Some of them were going to be at the competition tomorrow, and she wanted to show her support.

After she took a shower that night, she found Trixie sitting on her bed, running her fingers over the patch Abby left for her. She traced Ileana’s name over and over again, staring at it as if hoping it would change.

Shaye pulled her towel tighter around her body and sat down on the opposite side of the bed. “You okay?”

“Sure,” she replied quietly.

“I got you something. I was going to give it to you tomorrow, but maybe you want it now.” She reached into the top drawer of her bureau, pulled out a small gift bag, and handed it to Trixie. She set aside the tissue paper and pulled out a package of five different fruit flavors of glitter lip gloss.

Trixie laughed. “This is great. Thank you. Ileana would want me to have these.”

“How are you holding up?”

“When I’m actually competing, I’m fine. I mean, I’m nervous, but I’m not thinking of her. Between events, when my mind is quiet, I feel so, I don’t know . . . sad. I just feel sad. It’s so weird. Every single thing I do, for the rest of my life, will be without her. No exceptions.”

Shaye reached out her hand and closed it over her best friend’s. Trixie sniffled and bit her lip. “I thought it would be easier by now, but it still feels as bad as it did the day it happened.”

“Really?”

“No. Not really. It actually feels worse. Because at first, I thought it wasn’t real, that she was still in Deva, training. Now here we are, and she should be here with us. But she’s not. She’s not, and she never will be. Evgeny Popescu beat her brains out, and she’s never coming back. It wasn’t until we came to Oslo it started to sink in, and it feels like someone sliced open a paper cut that had only begun to scab. Except it’s not just on my fingertip. It’s my whole body.”

Shaye couldn’t begin to comprehend the kind of pain she was feeling, so she only gripped her hand tighter and stayed silent, allowing her to say whatever needed to be said.

“I understand why my mother treated me the way she did and why my father picked taking care of her over taking care of me. I understand it all, and I’m not mad,” she said, and Shaye believed her. “But they’ve always taken care of each other, and Ileana has always taken care of me. You’ve been such a good friend and have done more than I ever could have asked for, but without my sister, I feel alone. I feel so alone, and I’m afraid I’ll never feel whole again.”

“You will.”

“How do you know?”

The only experience Shaye had with this sort of thing was what she learned from her own sister. She thought about what Simone said to her when she was in the CCU with a staph infection, immediately before she was put on the ventilator, and she was terrified she’d never get well. Her sister had looked at her, dry eyed and assured, and said the only thing she could think of saying to Trixie now.

“Because we get better.”

On the final day of the all-around competition, Shaye’s event order was floor, vault, beam, bars. She was thrilled because it saved her best two events for last and she didn’t have to worry about expending all her energy before the floor exercise. Also, she would know the standings and be able to decide if she was going to do the double flip release move on the uneven bars at that point.

Trixie’s event order was bars, vault, floor, beam, which was good for her as well because uneven bars was by far her weakest event. She was glad they weren’t in the same group because in a weird way, that made it feel more like they were competing directly with one another. Shaye knew how nervous Trixie got at meets and was glad she didn’t have added pressure as a result of her presence.

Shaye was ready. She had one gold medal under her belt and was ready to add another, the most coveted prize in women’s gymnastics. She was vigilant and sharp, and she felt like she was in the best shape of her career. The Achilles tear, surgery, and subsequent infection had been devastating, but the recuperation and physical therapy served to heighten her abilities in the long run.

She stood in the pit with Galya, waiting for her turn to step onto the floor mat. While the other girls jumped and stretched, Shaye stood still and took in the experience.

Galya put his hand on the top of her head and said, “You’re here, kid. You did it.”

She looked up at him and grinned. “Yeah. We did.”

Shaye was third on the floor. She felt good. Light. Everything was crisp and accurate and big, and she scored a half-point higher than her previous personal best, which was huge. It meant she was beginning the meet with a little bit of breathing room.

Galya was grinning like a maniac when she stepped off the floor, but she forced herself not to become too excited. There were still three apparatus to go.

They looked across the gym to the uneven bars, where Trixie was getting ready to perform. She wished they could stand beside her, but they weren’t allowed to leave the floor exercise area until there was a rotation. Trixie might have been anxious, but it didn’t show once she mounted the bars. It might have been her weakest event, but she did a good job, better than in practice, and she also scored higher than her personal best. After a stuck landing, she glanced across the gym, found her friend, and they gave each other a thumbs-up.

Vault was next for Shaye. “Keep your ankles together, your legs straight, and don’t step to the side on the landing,” Galya said just before she stepped up to the runway.

“Okay,” she said, supremely focused. She waited for the flag, saluted the judges, and powered down the runway. She hit the board perfectly, used the vault for leverage, and landed flawlessly. It wasn’t a high degree of difficulty trick, but vault was a high scoring event, so she didn’t lose much ground. It was better to have vault as a weak event than floor or beam, which scored much lower. Trixie was also in good shape with bars as her toughest challenge.

Shaye and Trixie overlapped on the vault, so her best friend was there to give her a high five when she was done. Two more girls went, and Shaye got to do the same for Trixie. Her friend scored a full point and a half higher than her on the vault, which was fantastic. If it were anyone else, Shaye would be worried about her standings, but Trixie was the best vaulter in the world, so it was normal for her to outscore her by a bunch.

She gave Trixie a pat on the back, and the two of them finally looked up at the spectators to find their families. They were sitting near the balance beam, Trixie’s parents and Simone in one row, Zarya, Sarah, and Abby directly behind them. Though she didn’t think she would notice her father’s absence, it was strange for him not to be there.

After two rotations, Shaye was leading the field by half a point, and she couldn’t have been happier. She thought she would be able to win if she finished the vault and floor no lower than fifth place. This was a coup. Even better, the person trailing her was Trixie. If they could go one-two, it would be phenomenal. Granted, she wanted to be the person at the top of the podium, but she badly wanted Trixie to be next to her.

Next, Shaye went to the balance beam and Trixie went to the floor exercise. “Are you going to do the one and a half?” Galya asked.

“Do you think I should?”

“It’s not necessary, but you’ve gotten fairly accurate. You’re having a good meet. How do you feel?”

“I think it will add bonus points that could seal up the gold medal, and I’m not going to miss it.”

“All right, then,” he said, giving her a quick pat on the bottom. “Get to it.”

As usual, when Shaye did her flare mount onto the beam, the spectators exploded into cheers and applause. Normally she didn’t hear it at all because she was so focused, but she also wasn’t used to competing in front of such a large crowd. Their uproarious ovation managed to penetrate her concentration, but only for a moment.

Shaye loved the balance beam. Most gymnasts, even the best ones, often appeared robotic and jerky on the beam. Not Shaye. She was fluid, each move connecting smoothly to the next, with no superfluous hand motions or footwork. She was the only person in the world who did a double pirouette on the beam, and she did it with one leg pressed firmly against her nose. It was worth so many points it devastated those competing against her. Not that it was easy. It was a move she had been perfecting since she was nine-years-old and had only worked into her routine six months ago. However, the hard work paid off because it was as solid a move as any she performed.

She felt like she was floating over the beam instead of fighting it. When it came time for her one and a half back flip to a straddle position over the beam, she barely felt herself touch it before pressing to a handstand and moving immediately into her dismount. She hit the mat with the tips of her toes, and it seemed like she had an hour to lower her heels gently to the floor. For a moment, she heard nothing, but when she raised her arms to the air, the screaming ensued. She squeezed her fists and pumped her hands in the air but stopped short of jumping up and down. Nothing was locked yet, but she certainly helped her cause with that routine.

It scored a seventeen point one, a ridiculously high score on the balance beam. A good score was fifteen and a half. A great score was fifteen-point-eight and above. She broke the ceiling, and when she looked around the gym, she saw Kovalev, Kessler, and Xiaqun drop their shoulders slightly. Unless she imploded on the uneven bars, none of them had any hope of catching her.

Trixie’s performance on the floor exercise was nearly as impressive. She was so pretty and charismatic, and she was fearless on the floor. She was an old-fashioned gymnast who loved tumbling, and it showed. Were she competing against anybody but Shaye, she would have taken the lead with that routine. Instead, she fell behind by a little bit more, but she was still holding solidly to second place.

The last rotation was Trixie on the beam and Shaye on the uneven bars. Shaye was last in the rotation, so she stood on the bench in the pit in order to watch Trixie do her beam routine.

Trixie saluted the judges, took a deep breath, and did the full flip onto the beam.

Something went wrong. She must have had too much adrenaline or her nerves were getting the better of her, because she over-rotated with too much momentum. She tippytoed a few steps on the beam but could not regain her balance and slipped off the side. She landed lightly on her feet, not at all injured, but it was a tough moment. The entire gymnasium fell silent. She took a breath to collect herself but did not push back onto the beam.

In the stillness, Shaye clapped loudly and shouted, “You got it, Trixie! You can do it!”

The rest of her routine was unblemished, including the double salto, pike position dismount she added as a salute to Ileana. However, the fall on a low scoring event to begin with was bad, and the girls who were nipping at her heels had yet to perform.

Shaye could not watch the other frontrunners. It was too painful knowing Trixie did not have another event on which she could redeem herself. She could only hope her friend had done enough to make it to the podium.

Unfortunately, she made the mistake of looking up at the current round of scores before she began her work on the uneven bars.

Trixie was two-hundredths of a point away from third place.

“I’m doing it,” Shaye said before hopping out of the pit.

Galya caught her as she was chalking up. “No. There’s no reason.”

“I’m over two full points ahead. Even if I fall, I’ll still win.”

“That’s assuming you do everything else in the routine perfectly, which isn’t a given, and these judges are scoring bars tougher than we’re used to. It’s not worth it.”

“Galya, if I’m going to win this thing, I want to win it. I don’t want it to be because Trixie fell.”

“That’s ridiculous, and you know it. You’ve never hit the move.”

“I’m doing the release, Galya,” she said with determined finality. “You can spot me or not.” Then she walked away, so that was the final word.

Shaye saluted the judges and did her mount onto the uneven bars. Though her routine was extremely difficult, with many pirouettes, releases, and trips back and forth from high to low bar, she had done it so many times it was as natural as breathing.

Now came the hard part. She whipped herself around the high bar. Once. Twice. Then she let go.

She remembered everything she learned. Stretch up before rotating. Throw the body forward. Keep the hips and shoulders centered and parallel. Tuck the head into the chest, spot the wall. Count to know when to stretch out the arms, don’t guess. She did everything she learned.

And caught the bar.

Her heart soared, and she nearly forgot to do her dismount. She managed to keep her composure long enough to hit the mat, where she didn’t move, not an inch, until her fingertips shot toward the heavens and the judges were done tallying points.

Then she screamed in triumph and launched herself into Galya’s arms. She had done it. She was the new Olympic champion. She didn’t crumble under the pressure, and she managed to complete not just one, but two tricks no one had ever done in Olympic history.

Having watched the Olympics every year since she was four, she knew most girls began crying at that moment. It was emotionally overwhelming, but Shaye didn’t feel the immense relief most of them did. Her sister and coach managed to keep her life normal and their expectations in check. She knew no matter what happened, they would consider her trip a success, and she believed she would be back in four years, and if she were lucky, four years after that.

However, words couldn’t describe how happy she was. Galya hoisted her onto his shoulder, and she waved to the crowd as they gave her a standing ovation. Simone and Abby were bawling, but they were also grinning wildly. Shaye felt like she was emanating light. Everything was warm and wonderful, and though she wished Trixie could be on the podium with her, she was extremely proud of herself.

A minute later, the final floor routine ended, and Trixie ran across the gym. Shaye hopped onto the ground, and Trixie met her in a hug with such force they tumbled to the floor. Everyone in the gym laughed as they pulled themselves up and began jumping up and down and screaming. Shaye knew she must be hurting, and seeing Kovalev win the silver and Xiaqun take the bronze would be painful for them both. Yet they had both been doing gymnastics long enough to know meets didn’t always or even usually swing your way, and they formed an unspoken agreement right there that they’d be back in four years. Maybe the tables would turn.

“You did it, Sly,” Trixie had to shout into her ear in order to be heard.

“It doesn’t feel real.”

“It will.”

Fifteen minutes later, the podium, flags, and anthems were ready, and the medal ceremony began in the middle of the floor exercise mat.

First to be introduced was Shi Xiaqun of China, who captured the bronze medal by the slimmest of margins. Next was the Russian Olga Kovalev, who seemed upset she didn’t win gold even though she had never been able to beat Shaye as juniors or seniors.

Finally, they announced her name. She kissed Xiaqun on both cheeks and congratulated her, did the same with Olga, and took her place at the top of the podium. She waved to the crowd, spinning in a slow circle in order to take in the moment. Simone and Abby were still crying, and she blew them a kiss. She was given a bouquet of flowers, and she waited as the president of the Norwegian Gymnastics Association began presenting the medals. As Xiaqun bent at the waist to receive her bronze, Shaye caught sight of Trixie.

She was smiling, and Shaye knew her friend was proud of her. However, she was standing there alone. Normally her coach would be by her side, but Galya was sharing the moment with Simone and his wife, and Trixie spent her career trained by committee, so none of her longtime coaches made the trip to Oslo. Her parents were still in the stands, and they were also applauding, but there was no way they could know how Trixie felt in that moment. They were most likely thinking of Ileana and how she would never have a moment like this. It wasn’t their fault, and it didn’t make them bad people, but they were no longer capable of being present and emotionally available for their remaining child.

Shaye looked up at Simone, who clapped and cheered. She felt her heart connected with her own, and this moment was so much more special because she could share it with her wonderful sister. Simone, who had always believed in her, even when all the experts in the world said she was average, and after she won a World Championship, stated her injury and illness were too much to overcome. She loved her unconditionally, but more than that, she loved her with a deep understanding of exactly who she was and what kind of a woman she was attempting to become. That love made the victories sweeter and softened the defeats. It was how Shaye knew, no matter what happened the day before, she would be able to wake up in the morning and try again.

That’s what Ileana was to Trixie, and it was now gone.

Until that moment, Shaye couldn’t possibly comprehend the sense of loss her friend had been attempting to live with. Shaye couldn’t fathom her strength. Simply contemplating it only for a moment was debilitating.

To her surprise, she found her cheeks were suddenly wet. She didn’t know when she began crying, but the emotion was there, real and tangible, and it became overwhelming as she traced Ileana’s name on her shoulder.

Suddenly, the NGA chairman was standing in front of her, and she dumbly leaned over to receive her gold medal. When it was around her neck, he told her to wave for another round of applause. Instead, she shoved the bouquet of flowers into his chest and said breathlessly, “I’ll be right back.”

“What?”

“I’ll be right back. Hold on.”

She ran across the floor and reached out for Trixie’s hand. Her friend helped her slip into the pit, but once she was there, she didn’t know what to say.

The gymnasium was so quiet the squeak of tennis shoes echoed whenever someone’s weight shifted. Trixie was remarkably dry-eyed. Shaye was glad. She couldn’t remember the last time she cried and was afraid she would completely lose control if her emotion was equaled.

Without knowing what to say, she waited for Trixie to help. She put her hand against Shaye’s cheek and whispered, “I know why you’re crying. It must be hard being so beautiful.”

“Your sister is dead.”

“Yeah.”

Shaye tasted salt on her lips and felt the tears drop onto her chest. “I didn’t understand. I mean, I tried, but I didn’t get it. I don’t know if I ever said it, but I’m so sorry, Trixie. I’m so sorry this was done to you.”

“I know you are.” They paused, and Trixie stared at her as the tears continued to flow even deeper. “Shaye, you need to go back to the podium.”

“They’ll wait,” she said, chuckling through the weeping. “I want to give you something.”

“You’ve already given me more than enough.”

“Maybe, but this might be something that actually helps.” Without thinking, from around her neck, she removed the gold medal, the most coveted prize in women’s gymnastics.

And handed it to Trixie.

“I think this was always meant to be Ileana’s. I think if we put this in her room with the rest of her prizes, maybe it will hurt a little less.”

“Shaye, no,” Trixie said in disbelief. “You can’t do this. You’ve worked too hard. Your gold medal.”

“I have another,” she said with a smile. “Besides, it has to be this one, don’t you think? Because the only reason you wanted to win it at all was for her. We know the truth now, Trixie. Ileana might never get justice, but we can put her to rest.” She grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. “It doesn’t have to hurt this bad. I didn’t get it, but now I do, and I can’t stand you hurting this bad.”

Trixie fingered the medal and said softly, “This is all she ever wanted.”

“It’s hers.”

“Not the medal. She wanted it, sure, but what she wanted was this. Us. The three of us, together. Here at the Olympics.”

“Do you feel like she’s here now?”

“Not really. But you’re right. It doesn’t have to hurt.”

Shaye was still holding her hand. “Come to the podium with me. This is ours. The three of us.”

As they walked together back to the platform, their arms around the other’s waist, the crowd began to clap, politely at first, but soon enthusiastically. The NGA president made a quick phone call, and when the girls climbed to the top of the podium and turned around, they saw the Romanian flag hung next to the flag of the United States in the gold medal position. The rules of the competition made it so a tie was not possible, which meant this was the only time this was going to happen during the entire gymnastics competition.

Shaye and Trixie held each other as she sang the U.S. National Anthem. They were both crying, and Trixie was tightly gripping the gold medal around her neck.

When the song was over, the girls held hands and raised them over their heads together. A sign of triumph. A sign of solidarity. But more than a sign to both of them. They were tied together forever by this experience. Ileana was gone, Tavian and Magda Dalca were irrevocably damaged, and Shaye was unwilling to let Trixie feel alone for a second longer. They were sisters now.

Simone and Galya came to the floor. Shaye’s coach lifted her into his arms, and for the first time in her career, including when her Achilles tendon exploded, she cried in front of him. For the first time since their mother’s funeral, Simone was crying, too. She was holding Trixie tightly, as she had done many times for Shaye.

The four of them formed a larger embrace, and Simone said, “I’m so proud of both of you. I’ve never been prouder.”

Shaye rested her forehead against Trixie’s and took a deep breath. “I told you I was going to kick your ass.”

They laughed together. “I never had a doubt.”