Chapter 9

“Is Monica here, Daddy?” Devon’s face appeared at the top of the stairs, immediately joined by Derrick and Luke’s other children.

“No, she just stopped in for a quick moment. She’s gone now.” Luke tried to steel himself against the looks of disappointment on their faces as they returned to the movie. It would be worse when they found out Monica wasn’t going to marry him and join their family.

He winced when he remembered her expression when he couldn’t say what she wanted to hear. Way to go, man. Now you’ve gone and screwed up everyone’s life!

He still wasn’t quite sure what had happened. He’d never lied to her about his feelings; he’d just never thought about whether or not he was in love with her. They made a perfect team. They both loved the kids and worked well together. And in bed…well, definitely no complaints there. He hadn’t been lying when he’d told her he wanted to marry quickly so they could spend their nights together. Sure, it was also good from the adoption point of view, but who said the same end couldn’t serve a dual purpose?

He’d never intended to hurt her. Hell, he never wanted to see that pained look on her face again. In fact, if anyone else had put it there, he’d have pummeled the bastard.

She was special. They really could have a wonderful life together. He wanted to give her that life—give her everything she’d always wanted but had never been able to have. Three little words were all that was standing between them. And yet, he knew it wasn’t simply the words; it was the feeling behind them.

He fingered the engagement ring he’d stuck in his pocket. Maybe he could talk to her again? Get her to change her mind? At the very least he needed to make sure she was okay and apologize for hurting her.

After arranging for Stephanie and Jennifer to look after the children, Luke set off for Monica’s home. The rain had turned to freezing rain and the road was slick with a thin layer of ice. He dropped his speed and resisted using the brakes whenever possible, but still he almost slid off the road twice.

In his mind he rehearsed what he wanted to say to her, vacillating between convincing her to marry him despite her doubts and simply apologizing to her. He hated the thought of losing her, but he couldn’t give her something he didn’t have. What was love, anyway? They had everything else going for them. More than most married people he knew.

He rounded a curve and slammed on the brakes sending his van into a spin that ended with him on the other shoulder facing the opposite direction. Thank goodness there hadn’t been another car coming. He cut the engine and skated across the road to where an orange-colored sub-compact was lying on its side in a ditch.

“Monica!” Crap, there was a lot of blood. Her face was covered with it, and she wasn’t moving. Her breathing was labored, but at least she was breathing. He pulled out his cell phone and dialed 9-1-1. “Hurry,” he urged the operator.

“Monica, honey, you’re going to be okay. Help’s coming.” He gingerly brushed her hair from her face. Where had all the blood come from?

It seemed like forever before the paramedics arrived. She still hadn’t regained consciousness when he watched them load her into the ambulance. Following her to the hospital was like reliving a nightmare. She had to be okay. Surely, fate wouldn’t be so cruel as to take away the two women he loved.

Monica’s face was bandaged, and she was propped up on a cot in an emergency room cubicle when he was finally allowed to see her. She seemed surprised he was there. “I heard someone was here to get me. I assumed it was Cathy,” she said.

“I told Cathy I’d bring you home. There’s no point both of us driving on these roads,” he said. “Are you okay?” She looked small and frail, but at least she was alive.

“It’s just a broken nose from the airbag.” She shrugged nonchalantly and then cocked her head to one side and grinned. “I asked them if they could give me a nose job while they were at it, but they said my insurance wouldn’t cover it.”

He knew she was trying to lighten the mood, but he’d been so worried about her he couldn’t find the humor in her words. “You don’t need a nose job, Monica. You’re perfect just the way you are.”

Her eyes widened in surprise and then narrowed. “Are you okay? You don’t look well. Maybe you should sit down.”

His body was shaking with the relief of knowing that she was going to be all right. He sank into the chair beside her cot. “I was so afraid when I saw your car…and then there was so much blood…” He heaved a shuddering breath. “I thought I’d lost you. I can’t lose you…”

“Luke—” She said his name quietly, but there was so much anguish in her voice that he felt his heart constrict at his own selfishness.

“No,” he interrupted her. “Let me say something, first.” He gazed into the beautiful hazel eyes staring out from the bandages that masked half her face. There was some bruising around her chin. Only her mouth seemed unaffected by the accident, and he yearned to taste her lips—to hold her, to make love to her, to demonstrate with his body what his words lacked. “Earlier you asked me if I loved you, and I didn’t answer.”

“That was an answer. Don’t feel sorry for me because of a broken nose. I’ll be fine. Really.”

“I don’t feel sorry for you,” he said. “I feel sorry for me. I feel sorry because I think my self-focus may have lost me the woman I love. I couldn’t tell you I loved you before because I’d only been thinking about us in terms of how great we are together and how fantastic it was that everything was going to work out for us—you’d get the family you’ve always wanted and I’d keep my family together. It seemed a win-win for everyone.”

“This isn’t one of your projects to be negotiated to a satisfactory conclusion,” she snapped.

“You’re right. This is the most important deal of my life, and it has nothing to do with you becoming a mother to my children or me being able to adopt Devon and Derrick; it has to do with you and me. I don’t want to live my life without you. That became crystal clear when I saw your car in the ditch and you unconscious inside. The kids didn’t even enter my mind at that point. It was just me selfishly praying for you to be all right so I can tell you how much I love you and ask you to forgive me for making you doubt how precious you are to me.”

She closed her eyes, and he watched a small tear trail down her bandaged cheek. He reached out to wipe it away, but stopped himself, afraid his touch, no matter how tender, would inflict pain. He let his hand drop to his lap and lowered his head. Maybe he was too late.

“I forgive you.”

It was spoken so softly he wasn’t sure he’d heard anything. “What?” He raised his head to look at her.

She opened her eyes and glared at him. “I said I forgive you,” she said, louder this time and sounding slightly annoyed. “I just wish it hadn’t taken a damaged rental car and a broken nose for you to say it.”

Luke whooped with joy and leapt to his feet. “Marry me,” he said, falling to his knees beside her cot. He fumbled in his pocket until he found her ring and held it up to her. “It doesn’t have to be right away. We can wait as long as you want, but just say you’ll be my wife.”

She held her hand out for him to place the diamond ring on her finger. “I don’t see the point in waiting. Everything’s already set for Christmas Eve.”

He stood up, kissed the ring on her hand, and then bent down and brushed his mouth against her beautiful lips. He forced himself to keep the kiss gentle, curbing his growing desire so as not to aggravate her injuries.

When he finally raised his head he realized they’d attracted an audience. A nurse had pulled back the curtain and several doctors stood at the foot of Monica’s cot. The patient across the room was also gawking at them.

“She said yes,” he said, and then took a deep bow as the room erupted with applause.

Monica was rolling her eyes at his antics, but her wide grin told him she was happy. Luke pledged to find a way to put that look on her face every day for the rest of their lives.