I hated airports. The packed spaces of people caused my anxiety to reach the highest level possible. Don’t get me wrong, flying was one of my favorites but dealing with everyone and every procedure from entering and exiting the plane was a bit of a stretch.
Gradually moving between the crowd, I ignored the stares I received. My hands were oddly sweaty, causing my grip to loosen up resulting in my suitcase almost slipping out of my hand.
I tried my best to make it to the exit as fast as possible. My mother and sister didn’t know I would be coming back home, so it would a surprise. Sensing the fluctuation of my mood swings in and out, I tried hauling down a taxi and don’t have time to check my phone to call an Uber or Lyft.
My mother was an impressive woman, in every form of the word. She played the biggest role in my life when my dad was away working or traveling. Ummi sacrificed everything for our well-beings. I would be forever grateful. I could only imagine the expressions on their faces the minute when I walk through the front door.
A taxi halted in front of me. An African man instantly got out and grabbed my suitcase, tucking it in the trunk. He had a Kool-Aid smile on his face and even opened the door for me. I was weirded out by his kind manners. Is this the new New York City?
Then, he got in, making himself comfortable. “Where to Miss?” He asked excitedly which took me by surprise. “St. Greenwood. Number 13.” I barely made eye contact, checking the time on my phone.
New York was a wonderful city. I call myself lucky spending my whole childhood here. Needless to say my life in a lower-middle class family had its ups and downs, but we were blessed, even with the absence of only one sibling.
My phone buzzed in my hands, signaling a text message. It read; Where are you? Ummi is freaking out.
I rolled my eyes in response. They always made such a big deal out of everything. I thought I told her not to say anything? I decided not to text back and shut off my phone, glaring into distance through the windshield.
Traffic was horrid. The second thing I hated the most after airports. I was becoming nervous I would have to spend way too much money on this taxi. Why didn’t I just call Uber? I had too many ten-dollar bills in my purse and hoped it would cover everything. Otherwise, I would be forced to get this driver to take what I had.
“You look like you’re not from here. Am I correct?” The driver said sparing me a glance through the rear view mirror. “Wrong” I thought to myself. Why would I even bother answering him?
“This is my hometown.” I returned to my thoughts, starring out the window while he murmured something to himself. What kind of a question was that? “Oh really, you don’t seem very talkative.” He giggled. “Because I’m not” I thought aloud again.
I’d rather not get into a conversation, but by the beeping of cars waiting, it seemed like it would be a long ride home. The traffic wasn’t anywhere near to clearing up.
“Just tired, that’s all.” I tried saying politely. Not sure if it worked. “How was your flight?” The never ending conversation continued along with my annoyance. People just don’t know how to mind their damn business these days.
He tried to reply to my statement, but my phone rings cut him off. It was Ummi. I panicked, thinking my tone would give me away. Might as well not answer.
The driver noticed me not bothering to take the call, but he stayed quiet. I’m gonna be home soon mom, be patient. I spoke to myself, indulged in my thoughts.
I wasn’t a good liar and would for sure blow my cover. The car started to move finally after almost an hour stuck on the same street. I exhaled tapping my foot on the floor, evidently upset we took so long to cross the bridge.
“How long do you think we have left?” I rested my elbow on the driver’s seat expecting his answer. “Not much, it’s clearing up.” He reassured me taking a swift turn. We were now on the main street. We were getting close.
I rested my back on the seat, returning my glaring out the window. It was odd I found New York City in such a calm state. Not to mention the block was notorious for robberies, murder and drug dealing. Many New York streets were, I was just glad I wasn’t caught up in none of that stuff.
We were nearing my house and as we did, my breathing quickened. Ummi was the type to never believe in what I said. Would she believe I was innocent while I was away? I scratched the back of my head anxiously looking at the house two doors down from me. My garden was in sight but I couldn’t see my sister. I guessed they were both inside since Ummi didn’t work during on weekends.
“You can drop me off here, sir. Thanks.” The driver stopped and I paid him quickly. He was kind enough to get my suitcase out of the trunk. “Breathe Gabrielle. You are finally at home.” My conscious spoke.
Boston was lovely, but this is where I’m from. The front porch was the same as I last left it, the only thing I noticed different was they planted different flowers in the garden. It looks like they are remodeling the house as well. Wow! However, as much as I wanted to stay here, I had to get on with my life.
“Guess who’s back?” I yelled out, loud enough for even the neighbors to hear. Footsteps were heard from the staircase coming down startling fast. “Gabbie!” My sister embraced me in a long tight hug, which left me unable to breathe, but I smiled through the pain.
“You got bigger.” I commented and she slapped my back playfully. “It’s been nine weeks what do you expect? Haha.” She replied pulling out of the hug. What a little brat! “Where’s Umm?” I set my suitcase to the side and walked inside the house.
“Grocery shopping, we need a lot of things.” Khadi followed me in the living room. I plopped myself on the couch, looking around. Right away I noticed a single plant in the corner, radiating with color which accentuated the whole room.
We indulged in a long conversation about what happened in Boston. She was a talker while I was more of an introvert. It was always like that and our five-year difference didn’t make a difference since we always had something to talk about.
“How’s school going?” I asked her after the talk about me. She quickly darted her gaze to her feet, avoiding looking at me. There was obviously something going on.
“Is there something you’re not telling me?” I became worried. Khadi wasn’t the type who had problems at school, as far as I knew she always made friends and was on good terms with all her teachers.
“We have a lot of tests that’s all.” She said fidgeting with her fingers. There was something going on. She always told me everything, so it was strange she was keeping secrets. “Did she have a boyfriend? Nah.” I thought to myself. “Maybe the time I was away left a bad taste in her mouth? Nah. I don’t think so.”
“Any bad grades?” I kept pressing, not giving her the delight of giving up.
“Not really, enough about me. Did you meet anyone there?” Her eyes lit up and she was practically at the end of her seat which made me laugh. I knew she was trying to change the subject.
I sighed. “No time for that, I’m always working.” I barely had time for myself. Boston wasn’t good. That man got killed by his lover and blamed it on me. What a joke! My plans all went down the drain and it seems I can’t have the finer things in life.
I wondered when Ummi would get home. She always took her time shopping, trying to get a best deal out of everything. I pushed my thoughts aside and walked to the kitchen, to make something to eat. The fridge was damn near full, why did she go grocery shopping then? Hmm.
“Do you want anything!?” I yelled at my sister in the living room. “Make me a sandwich!” She replied with sass making me roll my eyes. “Aren’t you tired of bossing around everyone? You’re grown. Come make it yourself.” I shouted while opening a cereal box and pouring it in a dish.
“Well, you asked me if I wanted anything.” She frowned as she walked in the kitchen, setting the bread on the table. I watched her as she prepared her sandwich, eating my cereal in peace.
“Ummi is sure taking her good ole time.” I said gulping down the food in my mouth, taking a glance out the window. The driveway was empty.
“Leave her be. It would be a miracle if she came back in a half an hour. I don’t know what’s going on with her these days she is always late.” Khadi ignored my stare and focused on her food.
It left me thinking. Was there something wrong? She always told me everything, I would be so mad if she hiding something from me.
“Is everything okay at work?” I questioned Khadi knowing she knew I wouldn’t give up until I found out something. “Don’t think so. She doesn’t seem depressed or anything. Just super tired I guess.”
I had second thoughts whether she was lying or telling the truth. I didn’t know what to believe. Khadi was mischievous but didn’t lie often. We ate in silence until the front door opened revealing my mother, her hands occupied with plastic bags filled with groceries and behind her a man helping her out.
“Gabrielle!?” Shock was written all over her face. But I didn’t know whether it was due my presence or the fact I caught her with another man not being my father.
“I didn’t expect you to be here so early.” She dropped the groceries on the countertop avoiding breaking eye contact as she embraced me. I didn’t know how to feel as the stranger kept on starring at us both from the front door.
“Maleek, don’t stand there come on in.” She escorted him inside and the man greeted my sister. She was eager to say the salaams and flashed him a big smile. I was confused but kept on listening to what my mother was about to say.
“I was done in Boston. I had to finish some procedures with the job and the police and then I came right back.” My eyes shifted back to my food. My annoyance grew with the second, where’s Dad? I was having a mini anxiety attack. I didn’t frankly know.
“Gabrielle? I have something to tell you.”
“What is it, Umm?”
“Your father and I divorced for the final time a month before you left. We waited until you went to Boston to go our separate ways.”
“What?” screamed Gabrielle. “You’re so wrong.” “Damn, Ummi. How did you even not tell me?”
I felt as if a hole was forming in my chest and it was harder to breathe. My mother should have explained, but the mere thought of having someone else in the place of my Abee drove me to insanity.
“Gabbie, give salaams.” My mother pushed and I just gave the man a nod, forcefully smiling. I tried not to ruin her dinner but if he didn’t leave as fast as possible it would become a problem.
“I’m Gabrielle, nice to meet you.” I continued eating my cereal not bothered by the fact he was expecting the salaams. “I am Maleek, it’s nice to finally meet you.” He added and I felt him sit down next to me. Feeling uncomfortable was an understatement at that moment.
“Maleek and I met at work, we are planning to marry. Hopefully you don’t mind.” Umm sat down on the table, I stopped eating my cereal for a second. They both noticed there was something wrong but didn’t have the courage to comment on it.
She had no right bringing this stranger to my house. “I don’t, you can have your talk in peace.” With that I got up, left my plate in the sink and walked up the stairs, leaving the three of them in the kitchen.
I sat down on my bed in silence as my mind kept traveling back to my father. Where did he go? How could she forget about him so easily?
I hollered, stuffing my face in my pillow trying to block the sound. My belief that coming home would be a joyful and a cherished moment, but it turned out to be the total opposite.
My eyes lingered on the ceiling, I tried to ignore the feeling of emptiness trying my best to be positive. It was impossible. I turned my laptop on, seeing my friends having fun on Instagram and Twitter. I missed them but decided I would give myself a few days before seeing them.
Hours have passed since my encounter with Maleek. As I was trying to sleep, my mom burst into my room with a death glare plastered on her face.
“What’s going on?” I questioned, rubbing my eyes. “Why were you so rude to Maleek?” She raised her voice and it was the first time after so many years.
“What do you mean?” I tried to act as if I didn’t know what she was talking about. She had no right coming into my space like that.
“I saw the way you were looking at him, Gabrielle. Can’t I be happy for once in my life?” Her tone was pleading almost as if she was about to break down crying. “Did you even love Dad?” I questioned, looking at her dead in the eye. She starred at the ground and said. “You can’t punish me like this, I deserve a piece of mind.” I couldn’t believe what she was saying. She act like Dad never made her happy.
I was beyond hurt, resulting in me pulling the comforter over my head, to keep myself from seeing her face. I could still feel her presence and just as I expected she spoke again. “Me and Maleek are going out to dinner tomorrow. We are bringing Khadi with us. I would be happy if you could come.” With no reply from me, I just shut my eyes, waiting for her to leave.
She did so, storming out of the room in a fit and slamming the door behind. I didn’t give up on crying and held it inside for the longest resulting in me falling asleep.