Goldie leaned back in her antique desk chair, dreading the thought of manipulating her husband into breaking the ship’s rules. Red normally followed the letter of the law, so it wouldn’t be easy. This was the sort of thing her sister did so well. Goldie hated it.
“Looks like ya got yer knickers in a twist, Goldilocks.” Rudy Valentino hitched up his blue and gray pinstriped pants, then glanced at his image in the elaborate art nouveau mirror behind her desk. He grimaced, straightened his polka dot bowtie, and said, “What did that evil twin of yours say that put you in such a tizzy?”
Goldie looked up and shook her silver mane. “It’s not Godiva this time, Rudy. I’m afraid it’s Mom and Unk.”
Before she could continue, the crusty old Texan broke in. “Flossie and Sterling? Is one of them sick or somethin’? Those sturdy old geezers? I figgered nothin’ would ever go wrong with them.”
“Oh no, it’s nothing like that. It’s a good thing—but there’s a snag. Red wants to treat them to a round trip cruise from L.A. to Juneau. On the way back, a few hundred magicians are boarding in Vancouver for a five-day Magic on the High Seas cruise. Red thought Mom and Unk would have a blast, but they won’t go unless they can take Waldo along.”
“Dang. It’s a cruise. Why would they want to take that mangy dog?”
“Now you be kind, Rudy. The old folks treat Waldo like a baby. When they were in Las Vegas for a few weeks visiting Godiva’s son Torch, he just moped around—barely ate anything. They’re worried that being away for almost a month would be too much for the poor old dog.”
Goldie put her elbows on the vintage oak desk and inhaled the pleasant aroma of furniture polish mixed with lavender potpourri. “Godiva thought I could convince Red to approve him as a service dog. Of course we’d have to make up some kind of story because Red doesn’t like to bend the rules, not even for me. And that’s why I’m in such a quandary.”
“Well, it ain’t that big a stretch. I know you hate to lie, but callin’ him a service dog ain’t so far from the truth. You can think of it that way.”
“Maybe so, but there has to be a good reason that will convince Red to sign off. He can’t be a seeing-eye dog. Mom might be nearsighted, but she certainly isn’t blind.”
For a moment both were silent. Rudy scratched his head. Then Goldie’s assistant and all-around helper had a glint of inspiration in his eyes. “Why don’t you use that Silver charm on your gruff ol’ grizzly and tell him Waldo is the one o’ them sniffin’ dogs. You know, say Sterling is subject to fits and when the dog smells one comin’ on, he alerts him to take his pills. That’d work, wouldn’t it?”
“Fits? Uncle Sterling?” Goldie couldn’t hold back the chuckles. “Well, if you mean he has conniption fits about politics, and modern devices, and irresponsible teenagers...”
“Yep, I don’t care how you describe it. All you gotta do is call ‘em fits. ‘Course we’re talkin’ about a little more than just pitchin’ hissy fits, but you can hint that as long as Waldo’s around, Sterling don’t have any of them fallin’-down-foamin’-at-the-mouth kind of things. That’d prove what a good service dog he is. Anyone asks—well, your uncle’s a good actor. He can spin a yarn.”
“I think you’ve got it, Rudy. Waldo would probably love to wear one of those fancy vests. He likes costumes. And Unk is a ham. I’ll bet he’d enjoy acting the part. He probably won’t like people thinking he needs a dog to tell him to take his pills, but he’ll play along. Red might buy this.”
That evening Goldie called Red on board the ship and laid out her plan. He didn’t agree immediately, but by the end of their conversation Waldo had won the title of Service Dog.
***
Godiva and her new boyfriend, Dexter Diamond, snuggled on the deep leather sofa under the pretext of watching a movie on her giant screen TV, but between kisses and cuddling they hadn’t seen much. When the phone rang, Godiva murmured, “I’ll just let Lupe get that. Now, where were we?”
Dex nuzzled her, then looked toward the sound of the maid tapping at the doorway. Godiva straightened up and smoothed her blouse. “What is it, Lupe?”
“Eet es Senora Goldie. She say ees muy importante. I say you no want disturb, but she ees insist.”
“Okay, thanks Lupe.” She reached for the phone next to the sofa, listened for a few moments and put her hand over the mouthpiece. “Can you believe it, Dex? Goldie actually convinced her husband to get Waldo on the ship. That means a glorious month without worrying about what kind of trouble Mom and Unk will get into next. I can’t wait.”
Uncovering the mouthpiece, she said, “That’s fantastic, Goldie. Did you tell them yet? Hey that’s great! Oh my God, you did what? That is hilarious. Hey thanks, Sis. Yeah, you, too.”
Dexter raised an expectant eyebrow. “What was hilarious, Love?”
“Goldie told Unk that she convinced Red by saying Sterling was subject to fits and Waldo could smell them coming and alert him to take a pill. So he finally agreed that Waldo was a legitimate service dog. She said she was proud of herself for playing it so straight that Red believed her. But then she caved in and told him the truth because she was ashamed of acting too much like me.”
Dexter snuggled up a little closer and nibbled Godiva’s ear. He whispered, “Creative problem solving is nothing to be ashamed about, my dear. It’s something you should be proud of.”