Dexter offered to take the family to the ship in his big Lexus SUV. Now he sat in the driver’s seat, displaying undisguised impatience as he waited for Goldie’s daughter Chili to lift the third bag of groceries into the back.
Chili said, “Sorry for the delay, Dexter. I’m sure Aunt Godiva told you how proud Dad is about my cooking now that I’m a regular on the Flirting with Food show. He asked me to whip up a fancy meal for the captain’s table before the ship leaves port, so I have to bring all of these special ingredients.”
Dexter nodded and drummed his fingers on the wheel, glanced toward the house and the open front door. Guadalupe had already managed to drag the last overstuffed suitcase down the marble stairs by the time he got out and offered to help.
He saw Waldo sitting just inside the door, patiently wagging his tail while Flossie paced back and forth across the huge foyer.
He turned to Godiva and asked, “What’s holding things up now?”
“Sorry, Dex. You know how it is with old folks sometimes. They need to make sure they’ve got everything.” They all waited for Sterling to finish plodding through his checklist, item by item, for the fourth time. Godiva checked her diamond-studded Piaget watch every few minutes.
At last Flossie said in a voice loud enough for everyone waiting by the car to hear, “For heaven’s sake, Sterling, you’ve gone through that list three times already. If we don’t get going pretty soon, Dexter’s going to explode out there.”
Right on cue, the sound of a honking horn pierced the air.
Chili said, “I’ll just go back to the house and speed them up. I know we have to get going.” She sprinted up the steps. “Come on, Unk. Enough checking. We have to leave.”
Sterling looked up and shrugged his shoulders. “Gotta make sure we have everything. Don’t want to be out at sea and find we forgot something important.” His finger jabbed an item halfway down the list. “How about your blood pressure pills, Old Girl? And your eye drops? Did you check to make sure you have them?”
“You and your checking! Sometimes you’re worse than an old lady,” Flossie shot back. “Of course I have them.” She reached into her oversized flowered tote bag, felt around and pulled out two bottles, squinted at the labels and muttered, “Doggone it. Where’s the other bottle of eye drops?” Then she pushed her glasses up and opened the bag wider. A sheepish expression crossed her wrinkled face. “Oy vey, I must have left the other drops on the nightstand by my bed. Chili, honey, would you go back to my cottage and get the little bottle of eye drops on my nightstand? You can’t miss it. It’s got a green top.”
“Sure, Grammy. I’ll be back in a flash. Maybe you guys can put the rest of these bags in the car while I’m gone.”
While she was getting the drops, Sterling helped Guadalupe tackle the luggage and settle Waldo in beside a suitcase. Dexter only got out of the car long enough to help settle his passengers into the custom leather seats and slam the doors. Then he backed along the drive between the main house and Flossie’s cottage to meet Chili. She jumped into the backseat and handed the bottle to her grandmother.
“Thank you, totteleh. Now put on your seatbelt. Can’t be too careful you know.”
Chili snapped the belt in place and the car lurched forward. “Whew, finally on our way.” She paused to catch her breath. “Grammy, I’m so anxious to see Daddy. You know, being on Caesar’s TV show is exciting and all that, but the year I helped cook on the Aurora Borealis was really fun. I can hardly believe I’ll be the chef preparing the whole bon voyage meal for the Captain’s table. It will almost be like old times, except today I won’t just be the sous chef. Daddy hinted that there’ll be some famous movie stars at our table and I can’t wait to find out who they are.”
“I’m surprised Red was able to let you actually cook for passengers. I mean, you don’t work on the ship anymore,” Dexter said as he turned onto Canon Drive. “Don’t they have some kind of regulations about that?”
“Well, Daddy is the captain, so I guess he can bend the rules a little. Trust me—what I’ve got planned will be worth it.”
The Lexus cruised along Wilshire Boulevard past Westwood Village and onto the 405 Freeway while the Silver family chattered excitedly about the upcoming trip. Fortunately, they had allowed plenty of time. The freeway traffic moved at its normal pace—slow as molasses. Dexter inched along until he reached the Harbor Freeway where he picked up the pace. Soon they were racing over the Vincent Thomas Bridge and a few minutes later they were on the turnoff for the docks.
Chili was barely able to contain herself. “There it is! There’s Daddy’s ship.” She bounced in her seat like a little girl, then shook Sterling’s shoulder to wake him up. “Look Unk, over there, it’s the Aurora Borealis.”
Dragging her family entourage along, Chili bounded up the gangplank,. She leaned on the reception desk, delighted to find that the clerk was an old friend.
“Hey, Wanda! I’m so happy to see you. It seems like such a long time.”
A spark of recognition lit the woman’s round face and the corners of her mouth tilted up in a broad smile. “Chili Pepper! What a nice surprise. My goodness. It’s been quite a while since you worked onboard. Hey, I hear you’re a big TV star now.”
“Well, not exactly a star, Wanda. Chef Romano is the star. I’m just his assistant.”
“Listen kiddo, it’s a big show and that’s good enough for me.”
Chili took Flossie’s arm with one hand, grabbed Sterling’s hand with the other, and pulled them over to the desk. “I’d like you to meet my grandma and great-uncle. They’ll be sailing with you.” She gestured in Godiva’s direction, “And this is my Aunt Godiva, Mom’s twin sister.”
Dexter cleared his throat.
“Oh yeah,” she said quickly, “and this is Aunt Godiva’s—um—friend, Dexter Diamond.”
Waldo sat next to Sterling wagging his tail like a metronome until Chili chuckled and said, “And this is Waldo, my uncle’s service dog.”
Wanda greeted all of them and patted Waldo’s scruffy head. “I’ll call the Captain and tell him you’re here.”
Captain Red Pepper appeared a few minutes later, resplendent in his sharp white uniform. He embraced his daughter in a big bear hug and lifted her off her feet. “How’s my little girl?” He set her down and held her at arm’s length. “Whoa, Hollywood must really agree with you. You look so glamorous, so grown up.”
She answered by planting a big kiss on his cheek. He patted Waldo on the head and ruffled his ears. “So you’re keeping an eye on this old duffer now, huh?” He winked at Sterling and said, “I see Waldo’s got a pretty nifty service vest.” He gave the old man a hearty handshake. “Hmmm. Having fits, are you?”
“Oh, he has fits, all right.” Flossie winked back, her eyes magnified by her big glasses.
Red bent over and gave another, more gentle hug to his mother-in-law. “How’s my favorite star gazer?”
“Such a mensch, my son-in-law!” Flossie reached up and patted his cheek. “It was so sweet of you to do this for us. I read the cards this morning and they even indicated magic and mystery—reminded me of that old Beatles song Magical Mystery Tour. I can’t wait to see what the mystery turns out to be. You know, all the stars are in alignment for a good trip.”
“Alright Mom,” Godiva rolled her eyes. “Enough of that astrology and tarot card mumbo jumbo. Let’s get you and Unk checked in. Chili probably wants to get right to the kitchen—or maybe I should call it the galley—so she can get her special meal started. After all, we’ll only be on board a few hours.”
Red tipped his Captain’s hat at Godiva, “Yep, you said it, Sister. My little habanera needs to get right over to the galley. Chili Girl, some of your old buddies are there and they can’t wait to help you.” He pointed to the grocery bags. “How come you brought all this? We have everything you need on board.”
“Not everything, Daddy. Of course most of the food will be from the galley, but Chef Romano insisted that I bring some special ingredients for the fancy recipes he taught me. I think you’ll be impressed.”
“Well, too bad you can’t take the trip with us, but this is the next best thing.” He turned to Dexter. “Sorry if I’ve been rude. You must be Godiva’s beau. Welcome aboard and thanks for driving these cantankerous oldsters down here. I’m looking forward to getting to know you during dinner.”
***
Red led the oldsters and Waldo to the elevator to check out their suites. Godiva and Dexter walked behind them, arm-in-arm.
Upon seeing their accommodations—two of the ship’s best suites on an upper deck—Sterling gave a mock salute to their Captain. “I’m quite impressed, Red. This is really top flight.”
Flossie added, “Yes, and Waldo will be so comfortable here.” She took his dishes out of her tote bag, filled one with water and set it on a towel by the sliding door to Sterling’s balcony.
“Come on,” Red said, “your bags will be delivered soon, but you don’t have to wait for them. Let me give all of you a tour of the ship. We have plenty of time before Chili’s feast is ready.”
Dexter pointed at Waldo who was shifting back and forth in a jumpy little dance. “What’s wrong with that hound? He isn’t seasick already, is he?”
Godiva cringed when Flossie pursed her lips, a definite sign that she didn’t like Dexter calling her precious Waldo a hound.
“My service dog is just doing a little two-step, and that means he’s requesting permission to, you know, do his business.” Sterling patted Waldo on the head. “Red, maybe you could take us to the potty area first. That way I’ll know where it is for later. Don’t want him to have any accidents, isn’t that right, Boy?” He bent down and scratched the shaggy dog behind his ear. ”
The dog’s tail wagged in agreement and he pranced around by the door, ready to go.
“Well, you won’t have to stroll very far,” Red said. “We’ve got the service dog port-a-potty all set up for good ol’ Waldo.” Red led them to the far end of the deck and stopped in front of an unlocked door marked Crew Only that opened onto a room the crew used for washing mops. In the corner, a 4’x4’ wooden box was set up filled with artificial turf. Waldo sniffed it and decided it was a suitable place to relieve himself.
With Waldo under control, Red took his guests around the ship, pointing out some of the amenities like the library and the gift shop. They came to a set of double doors and he opened them wide to show off a nicely appointed theater.
“Here’s our showroom. Not huge, but big enough for our passengers to see some good shows.”
Sterling peered in. “Pretty dandy stage for a ship, I’d say. Flossie, remember the time...”
Dexter interrupted the old man. “Hadn’t we better hustle along?” He checked his Rolex. “Chili must be done preparing her little meal by now.” He gave Godiva an impatient look. “You know, Darling, I do have to get back to L.A. right after dinner. I told you I have a late meeting.”
Being the perfect host, Red turned to Sterling and said, “I’d love to hear your story later, but Dexter’s quite right. Let’s take Waldo back to your cabin, and head down to dinner.”