6. st augustine’s

On the morning of the practice match Grub and Bobby allowed Specky and his team-mates to sleep in until ten. It was going to be a massive day. The game was scheduled for the afternoon and was against St Augustine’s College, one of Dublin’s premier school teams. After that they were to be billeted out to host families. Grub had told them that it would mean they could really experience the Irish culture and, hopefully, make some lifelong friends, but Specky was sad to be leaving the rest of the team. They were having so much fun.

At breakfast, everyone hovered around Lurch, who was waving a copy of the Irish Times.

‘Listen to what this reporter has written about us,’ said Skull, snatching the newspaper out of Lurch’s hands and reading it out loud. ‘The Australian boys landed in Dublin on Tuesday and were led off the plane by a giant of a boy who answers to the nickname “Lurch”. They are a superb-looking team of youngsters, kitted out in their Australian uniforms – and looking every bit as professional as any of our senior Irish football squads. They have been expertly prepared by their manager and coach, Jay Gordan, who some say is the greatest coach of junior footballers anywhere in Australia. I fear for the considerably smaller lads from St Augustine’s College, who have been chosen as practice-match partners against these “Wizards of Oz”. By the looks of these Aussie boys, I think this may be more of a massacre than a practice match.’

Spiro grabbed one of the napkins from the table, folded it into the shape of a hat and placed it on his head. ‘Look at me! I’m the Tin Man!’ he joked. ‘Or am I really the Wizard of Oz?’

‘You sure you’re not a munchkin?’ said Specky.

‘CUT IT OUT AND SIT DOWN, MOLOPOULOS!’ roared Grub as he entered the room. ‘The rest of you take your seats as well. Morgan, bring that article to me right now.’

Skull sheepishly handed over the newspaper and sat down.

‘Don’t you blokes fall for this rubbish,’ said Grub, holding the paper high above his head. ‘Young punks for the first time in their lives see their names in a newspaper and start thinking they’re much better than they bloody well are!’

The room was dead silent.

‘If any of you get a big head, I promise you’ll be watching the first Test Match from the grandstand. And I don’t care if we only have ten players on the field.’

Grub paused and one by one aimed his intimidating stare at every boy in the room.

‘This reporter, Mick O’Shea, is trying to suck you in and you’re bloody well fallin’ for it. Now, I want you to forget about this rubbish. The St Augustine’s boys are not going to be overawed by you lot.’

Grub turned his attention to the white board that Bobby had just wheeled in. It had the team positions written on it.

‘I’ve been doing some research on this school. They’ve been the Dublin Senior School Champions for the past eleven years,’ he continued. ‘They are immensely proud of their record and they’re extremely excited about the prospect of matching themselves against the best Australia has to offer. This may be a trial game for us, but for these guys, it will be like a Grand Final.’

‘Then let’s serve it up to ’em!’ roared Dicky.

There was a ripple of agreement from around the room.

‘We’ll give ’em a contest, Dicky, don’t you worry about that,’ said Grub. ‘But mostly I want you guys to use this game to familiarise yourself with the round ball. It’s going to be difficult to control, so I want you to focus on the best way to kick it, handball it, and how to stop it going into the back of our net.’

Specky gulped.

Specky had been studying the DVD Grub had given him to watch on the plane. It was the goalkeeping highlights of the recent Test series between Australia and Ireland’s senior players – in particular, he had paid attention to the form of Essendon legend Dustin Fletcher. Because the game was played under the compromised rules system, the scoring was also different. In addition to the normal Australian set up, of two goal posts and two point posts, there was a soccer-style net suspended between the goal posts. If the ball was kicked or knocked into the back of the net that was worth 6 points. A ball kicked or knocked between the goal posts, but not in the net, was worth 3 points, and a ball kicked or knocked through the point posts was worth a single point. Specky was aware that a ‘6 pointer’, in the back of the net, was incredibly valuable to either side. Watching Fletcher alone in front of goal with the Irish forwards coming towards him at full speed, the difficulty and responsibility of the goal-keeping role had really hit home.

Driving through the gates of St Augustine’s College reminded Specky of his days at Gosmore Grammar. The magnificent bluestone building was perched on a hill and surrounded by perfectly cut, rich-green sporting fields.

‘Woah! Have a look at ’em all,’ said Skull, as Specky and his team-mates saw thousands of students taking up positions around the biggest pitch in the school grounds.

Jack Hayes, a talented half-forward from the tiny South Australian town of McClaren Vale was dumbfounded: ‘That’s ten times the entire population of my town, right there!’

The Australian team nervously hopped off the bus, not sure of the welcome they would receive. But as they approached the field, the Irish team formed a guard of honour. Specky and the boys were greeted with a handshake and were presented with a St Augustine’s College Gaelic Football jumper on the way to the change rooms.

‘Welcome to St Augustine’s, I’m Michael O’Leary,’ said a tall, freckle-faced boy, handing him a jumper. ‘And welcome to Ireland.’

‘Um, thanks, mate,’ said Specky, taken aback by the unexpectedly warm welcome. ‘I’m Simon, but everyone calls me Specky.’

‘Why’s that?’ asked Michael. ‘You wear glasses?’

‘Huh?’ said Specky.

‘Specky – short for “spectacles”. You’re called that ’cause you wear glasses?’

‘Nah,’ said Specky. ‘In Aussie Rules when you take a spectacular mark, which means, you know, when you go for the big grab …’ Specky trailed off. He didn’t even know if they used the words ‘mark’ or ‘grab’ in Irish football. ‘Um, never mind,’ he said. ‘It’s great to be here. Thanks!’

‘You’re welcome,’ said Michael. ‘Your team’s change rooms are over there. So I’ll see you on the pitch. And fair play to ya, Simon, I mean, Specky.’

Michael took off to join the rest of his teammates – ready to play.

‘Well, they said the Irish were a friendly bunch, but that’s just about the nicest thing I’ve ever seen,’ said Brian, joining Specky as they strolled over to the change rooms.

The Australian boys talked over the top of each other, not quite believing what had just happened.

‘Pretty nice guys, don’t you think, Grub?’ said Bobby, who was also beaming, having been presented with a jumper by the school’s assistant coach. ‘They seemed really happy to have us here.’

‘We’ll see,’ said Grub with a knowing look on his face. ‘We’ll see.’