CHAPTER NINE

On a Beautiful morning in late spring, Dick Devere went to David Webb, his favorite jeweler, and commissioned him to make a pin in the shape of a nightingale, of gold with enamel and diamonds. He was well known at the shop, having patronized them often in the past, and there were a few lifted eyebrows because everyone knew Mr. Devere was ordering another of his famous kiss-off pins. He always presented one to the girl of his choice when their affair was about to be over. The pin was always in a shape representative of the girl’s true inner life, and the amount of money he spent was commensurate with his guilt.

That same morning, in an expansive mood, Silky Morgan bought a new refrigerator-freezer for her Auntie Grace in Philadelphia, as a surprise. The Satins, also feeling expansive, went to the spring fur sales and bought their mothers white mink stoles (Cheryl and Beryl did not know that Silky had bought their mother a refrigerator, and even if they had they certainly would not have chipped in on that stuck-up bitch’s gift).

Sylvia Polydor, in Hollywood, feeling depressed, checked in for her first day’s work on the film that starred her as a hatchet murderess. She brought along a bottle of vodka and a water glass so she could console herself on the set.

Sam Leo Libra spent his morning at the Twenty-first Precinct station house, with his attorney, springing all the members of the King James Version, who had been caught with forty other revelers at a private marijuana party in someone’s penthouse. Because none of the King James Version had any pot on their persons at the time, they were let go, in the custody of Mr. Libra, who promised to take good care of them. He proceeded to dock his attorney’s fee from their allowances and gave them one of his famous blistering speeches, which reduced them to nervous laughter.

In Hollywood, Douglas Henry’s widow put flowers on her husband’s grave and then went to lunch with his doctor.

Arnie Gurney, in Las Vegas, woke up sixty thousand dollars poorer due to an unusually bad streak of luck at the crap table, and resolved never to gamble again. Then he went to his local loan shark and took out a large loan so he could win it all back just in case he changed his mind.

Elaine Fellin, full of ire, bought a new white Cadillac Eldorado with air-conditioning and stereo tapes, paid for it out of their joint account, and put it in her name. She told Mad Daddy it was her Mother’s Day present.

Mad Daddy had great respect for mothers, even Elaine, and said it was all right. He bought himself a much less expensive consolation present, for two Tastee Freezes and a box of popcorn—a fifteen-year-old girl named Linda.

Penny Potter had lunch with her mother and told her tearfully that her husband hadn’t slept with her for two months. Her mother took her to Gucci and bought her a crocodile handbag.

Mr. Nelson awoke with a frightful rash which his doctor diagnosed as chicken pox. Throughout the city, sixteen young hustlers either had or were going to get chicken pox before the week was through.

At four a.m. the Bottom of My Garden was raided and Franco lost his black Count Dracula cape in the rush to escape. He was sure it had been stolen, and he was right, because Bonnie Parker had it. One of her admirers wrapped it around her shoulders during the stampede through the back door. It looked darling on her, and since she didn’t know whose it was, she felt she was justified in accepting it.

Gerry Thompson, who was resigned to playing house mother to Bonnie, who was sleeping on her couch, was furious when she saw the Dracula cape the next morning, and gave Bonnie a lecture on mopping—a word she’d learned from Bonnie herself. Bonnie insisted that a nice man had given it to her so she would not catch cold in the pre-dawn hours. Gerry finally believed her. She knew Libra would kill her if he knew she was letting Bonnie go out at night, but on the other hand, she also knew that Bonnie never picked up anyone and was scrupulous about keeping her new career a secret. As long as no one knew she was modeling, no one would tell. Anyhow, once the photos started coming out in the fashion magazines, Gerry knew that all Bonnie’s old friends would recognize her anyway. She also knew that any fruits who realized what a trick Bonnie was playing on the public would be only too glad to keep quiet about it so the ruse could be a complete success. She only hoped none of the lady magazine editors were gay.

At the Cannes Film Festival, Zak Maynard screwed six girls and was done by three fags at an orgy at someone’s villa. He had a fine time.

In Chicago, Shadrach Bascombe gave a black eye to a girl who was trying to nail him on a false paternity charge. He had only slapped her, but he was strong. It did not make the papers, and the girl dropped her plan to shake him down. She didn’t want him to break her neck.

In New York, Ingrid the Lady Barber stopped off at her favorite supplier to get some more of the miracle ingredient she put in her special vitamin shots. The price had gone up.

Lizzie Libra told her analyst Dr. Picker about a fling she had had with Hatcher Wilson, a young black rock ’n’ roll singer who had brought his new hit record to Libra, hoping to change managers and get Libra to handle him. The record was number one that week. Lizzie, who had talked alone to the boy for a while, had sneaked right off with him to his hotel, telling her husband she was off to the analyst. When she returned she discovered that Libra had decided not to handle the boy. She was so aggravated that it almost gave her a trauma, she nervously told Dr. Picker. But still, Libra or no Libra, number one was number one. Wasn’t it?

Outside Libra’s suite, a fourteen-year-old girl named Barrie Grover, who was the president of the Mad Daddy Fan Club of Kew Gardens, spent a fruitless six hours waiting for Mad Daddy to appear. She had nothing better to do because it was final exam week, and she didn’t have an exam until tomorrow. She brought her books with her, but she was too excited to study at all. When it was time to return home for supper she left a passionate and funny note for Mad Daddy, which she slipped under the door. It was the hundred and seventeenth note or letter she had sent him since the day she first fell in love with him. She had received several printed replies from the television studio, the kind they sent to everyone, but she hoped that Mad Daddy would see this one in person and would write to her himself.

All in all, it was a not uneventful day for the inhabitants of Sam Leo Libra’s stable, and those who loved them.