Macy gripped Brad's T-shirt. Only one person had those photos. Only one person could have sent them, but he was in prison.
“You're strong, Macy, remember that. He's in prison, he can't hurt you. He's the weak one, you're the strong one. Don't forget that.”
The words slowly began to filter through the panic that gripped her. Slowly made the cold knot of fear unravel in her stomach.
“Don't give him this power over you anymore. He's gone from your life.”
“Yes.” She tried again, this time making her voice stronger. “Yes, you’re right.”
“Good girl.”
She looked up at Brad as he gripped her shoulders. Saw his concern for her, saw the rage that he held in check.
“That pencil dick is in a tiny cell with only himself to play with now, honey. He'll never get near you or Billy again.”
That surprised a snort from her.
“I can't believe you called him that.”
“Pencil dick? It just seemed to fit the moment.”
“He did have a pencil dick.”
This time it was he who snorted.
“I hate that for a minute or two he can take me back there again. Hate that he still has that power over me.”
“It's not power, honey, it's fear, and entirely natural after what he put you through.”
He lowered his head so their eyes were level, and she inhaled that wonderful scent that only he had.
“I want to tell you a little secret now, honey, but it stays just between us, okay?”
Macy rose on her toes, purely to get closer to this man. She'd feel different in a while. Wouldn't need this contact, and could get it from anyone else, but right here and now, it was Brad she wanted.
“Scout’s honor.”
“Have mercy, Macy. The thought of you in a Scout’s uniform just made my eyes cross.”
“I got my Brownie first aid badge.”
Why she was having this silly conversation when she knew what he had in his pocket, and what he'd seen, she didn't know. But, if she could suspend time for just a few snatched moments, she'd take it, because soon those photos would have to be shown to the sheriff.
He gave her a smile that made little lines form around the corners of his eyes.
“Nice work. I have no doubt that anything you want to do you will, if you haven’t already, honey. But let me tell you my secret that you've sworn an oath not to share.”
Macy nodded.
“When I saw my father the other day I was terrified. Fear raced through me like fire, and I had to make myself stand there and face him. Fear, Macy, not power. Because I will never again allow that man any hold over me, just like you won’t let pencil dick do the same.”
His eyes were serious now, intent.
Macy closed the few inches between them and pressed her lips to his softly.
“Thank you for believing in me, and thank you for seeing me as strong. I promise to keep your secret safe.”
He kissed her back.
“You're welcome.”
“We need to take those photos to Cubby now, Brad.”
“If that's what you want then that's what we'll do.”
“But do you think I should?”
“Your call entirely, but it's a sound one if you're asking me.”
“Okay, that's what we'll do then. But, Brad?”
“Yes.”
“I don't want to look at them again.”
“Me either.”
They walked through the crowds slowly, with Brad once again holding her hand. They were just friends. Friends held hands, Macy reminded herself.
They found everyone still together. Cubby and Newman had their heads through the holes in a board, and Ethan was attempting to throw a wet sponge at them, and failing.
“That's pathetic,” Brad said, releasing her and stepping forward. “Seriously pathetic. I'm almost embarrassed to share a name with you.”
“It's harder than it looks.”
“Step aside.”
Macy watched Brad pull out some money and pay Mrs. Winslow, who looked after Billy at preschool. She tried not to look at his back pocket and what was poking out, but her eyes were drawn there.
He’d seen her hands and feet. Seen some of what Brian had done to her. Shame washed over her.
Find your anger, Macy, she reminded herself.
“Go, Brad!”
Macy saw the excitement and hero worship in her son's eyes and held back the sigh she felt. She'd been fooling herself if she thought neither of them would be hurt when he left Howling. They would both suffer, and poking about in the region of her heart, she realized that her pain would be significant and last a while. She wouldn't do anything to stop him, because she wasn't ready for a man in her life, just as he wasn't ready for a woman in his. She also had to thank him for that. Making her feel again. Bringing her back to life.
“You want to throw one and me the other, Billy?”
The boy nodded, and Ethan handed him a sponge. Her son threw it with everything he had, but it fell short.
“Close, Billy boy, maybe next time,” Newman said. “What you got, TJ?”
“He’s got squat,” Cubby called. “Weak Texan just like the other one. Anyone who supports the Longhorns should take up ballet.”
Macy saw the corner of Brad's mouth curl, but he didn't say anything.
“True that, Cubby.” Newman added his voice. “All looks and no substance.”
“Go for Newman, and I'll take out Cubby.”
Ethan had paid for another turn, and stepped up beside his brother.
“Lordy lordy, how is a woman to stand so much beauty in one place?” Mrs. Winslow said. “Anyone got a fan handy, I feel faint.”
Annabelle snickered.
They are beautiful, Macy thought. Yet she liked the harder edge to Brad more. Ethan was softer, his edges rounded by time and Annabelle. Brad was still a work in progress.
“On three then, bro?” Brad said.
“Yup.”
They threw in perfect harmony and hit their targets dead center, and if Macy hadn't been standing behind Brad and seen the edge of the pictures, she could probably have clapped too.
She felt steady enough, but she didn't have a laugh in her.
“You doing okay there, sweetheart?”
“Sure, Jake.”
“You look a little pale.”
He had Rose in his arms, so Macy stalled by planting a loud kiss on the little girl’s cheek.
“How's the sweetest thing in Howling?”
“Stop using my daughter as a distraction.”
“Can we discuss this later, Jake? Please.”
He studied her.
“So there is a something bothering you?”
She nodded.
“Your mom here?”
“No.”
Macy knew he was trying to find a reason for her mood.
“You run into Nadine Buchanan and her hired bullies? I saw them earlier.”
“No again.”
“So, who's for the food area? I need a beer, and it’s time to annoy Buster,” Annabelle said, and much to Macy's relief drew Jake's attention.
Newman and Cubby were released, shirts wet and looking pissed off.
“Lowlife Texans,” the sheriff snarled. “I should run you out of town.”
“Speaking of lowlifes being run out of town, what's the deal with Nadine and the Falkirk boys being here, Sheriff?” Ethan said.
“Can't stop them from being here, and can only make a move if they offer up a bribe or display some disorderly conduct. They sure didn’t take my advice and get permission to come, if that’s what you’re asking.”
“I don't like seeing them here,” Annabelle said.
“I could only count two people in my head who would possibly take a bribe, Annabelle. It’s all right for them to be here, and in fact my money's on the locals making them feel downright uncomfortable.”
“I hope you're right, Branna.”
They all started heading to the food stalls, and Brad fell in beside her while Billy ran ahead holding Annabelle's hand.
“Cubby,” Macy called as he went to walk by her.
“You all good there, Macy?”
“Cubby, I got something tonight, and I need to come to the Lair and talk to you about it, okay?”
His hand settled on her shoulder.
“You okay?”
“Sure.” Macy nodded. “It's Brian, Cubby. He sent me some pictures, and I need you to take them, because I don't want them, or to see them ever again.”
The sheriff's eyes shot to Brad and back to her.
“You want to go there now?”
She did. In fact, she wanted them out of Brad's pocket and away from both of them.
“Can just you and me go and do this now, and come back here soon?”
“I'm coming.”
“You don't need to, Brad.”
“I'm coming too.”
She hadn't even realized Katie was within hearing distance.
“I really don't want this to get out, or people to see the photos.”
“Katie's a detective, Macy. She's good at policing, she understands things, sometimes better than me. Hard to believe, I know, but there you go.”
“All right. Just let me go and tell Annabelle to watch over Billy until I get back. I'll tell him I forgot to lock up the shop or something. You all head over to the Lair and I'll be there soon.”
Her son was happy enough with her excuse, but she felt the eyes of her friends on her. Ethan got to his feet.
“I-I need you to stay here for now, Ethan, can you do that for me, please?”
He nodded and reseated himself, and she felt their eyes follow her until she was out of sight.
Brad's blood was alternating between boiling and freezing. He wanted to rip something apart and at the same time pick Macy up and run for the hills.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was falling for her. Don't be an idiot, you've fallen, he admitted. Hard and fast, without even knowing what was happening.
You knew, the voice in his head said. Because you can't keep away from her. You hear her voice all the time, smell her scent, imagine her wrapped around you. Listen for her laugh when she's near… you're doomed.
He saw her appear, head lowered as she walked, almost as if she carried the entire town on her shoulders. Come on, girl, put those shoulders back, he thought. As if she heard him, she looked up and found him through all the people milling before her.
“I thought you had headed to the Lair.”
“No you didn't, you knew I'd wait for you.”
“True. Hoped, then.”
“Texan, remember. We do gentleman well.”
“And arrogance.”
“That too.”
Brad took her hand again, and they walked up the street. Stores were open and had displays set up outside, and Macy smiled and waved, yet as they approached the Lair, she started to tense up.
Cubby met them at the door and walked them silently through the outer office. Macy and Brad took chairs before his desk, while he took up his position behind Katie, who once again had the seat.
“I was walking around the carnival when a man came up to me. I hadn't seen him before, Cubby.”
Brad sat silently listening, with the pictures burning a hole through his pocket. God, the thought of her being subjected to what he’d seen in just two of those photos made his stomach revolt. He’d try to smile, play things liked nothing had upset him, but he was upset… in fact, he was angrier than he’d even been before in his life.
“He came up to you and handed you something?”
She nodded.
“It was an envelope. Brad has it.”
Pulling everything out of his pocket, he handed it to Katie.
“I-I don't want to see them, Cubby. That's not me anymore, I'm not that victim.”
Brad took the hand she had clenched on her thigh in his and held it.
Katie and Cubby looked through the pictures and Brad thought they must have been trained well, because neither of them flinched. Even knowing they were of their friend.
He could see those hands and feet bound tight in his head. Imagine the pain she must have suffered through, and battled down the rage at the man who could have inflicted that kind of hurt on Macy.
“Have you read the note?” Cubby took the piece of paper out of the envelope and opened it.
Brad and Macy shook their heads.
“It’s typed, which suggests to me that this was likely sent outside prison, because all mail coming in and out is scanned, so it would have been intercepted.”
“It must be Brian’s sister,” Macy said.
“It’s likely,” Cubby agreed. “Want me to read it out loud?”
He let her decide, and when she nodded, Brad braced himself to at least appear calm.
“I can get to you anywhere, wife, at any time. At your precious carnival, in your house, you will never be safe from me. I hope you enjoy the family snaps, and that they remind you of all the fun we had together. More to follow, wife. Much, much more.”
“Asshole!” Brad had to vent. He had to let out something before he imploded.
“I've got a few stronger words, but they won't help anyone, so I'll swallow them down. Do you know where Brian’s sister lives, Macy?”
“Yes.”
“You give me those details,” Cubby opened his pad. “I’ll get my colleagues to go pay her a call.”
“I want to kill him for you, Macy.” Katie’s words were low and angry. “Fly there tomorrow, ask to meet him, and then put a bullet between his eyes.”
Brad felt better hearing her words.
“And yet we can't as we are law enforcement officers,” Cubby added, briefly shooting his partner a look, before continuing to write down the address Macy was giving him. “But same goes, off the record.”
Macy sniffed. “I know you do, and thank you for it.”
“We love you, as does most everyone else in this town, with the possible exception of Militant, but even there you're the front runner in her affections behind Billy.”
Cubby's words managed to lift the side of Macy’s mouth.
“Anyways, I'll just lock these away, and we'll head back now before those others sniff the wind and know something's up.”
“You kidding me?” Katie said. “They'll already know something’s up.”
“Probably, but how much they know is up to you, Macy.”
Brad watched Macy nod to Cubby as she got to her feet.
“I need a drink.”
“Me too.
They got through the rest of the carnival, but Brad knew neither of them was fooling anyone. Macy's smile was too forced and as he wasn't the world’s greatest talker anyway, now he had to force himself to grunt.
Katie and Cubby were better, used to this kind of thing, he guessed. They acted normal.
“Tired, bud?”
Billy had found his way onto Brad's lap and was yawning loudly.
“No.”
“Okay, so the yawn is just because you're bored?”
Billy snuffled then rested on Brad's chest. He ran a hand over the boy's head and wondered at the closeness he felt with him. Was this what it would be like when he had a niece and nephew? He wasn’t ready to settle down yet, but he could love Ethan’s and Hope’s kids, couldn’t he? And if he came back here, he would see Billy again, and that would be enough.
He wasn't ready to settle down. He'd told himself that repeatedly since he left his father's house. He needed to see the world, grow as a person, and he couldn't do that if he had people who relied on him.
He had to leave Howling, and soon.
“Good evening to you all.”
And that was all it needed to turn what should have been a great night into an even more shit one. Brad looked up at the two lawyers who appeared behind Jake McBride.
Manners forced everyone to murmur a greeting, but the lack of enthusiasm was obvious.
“Can I buy the next round of drinks for everyone?”
“No thanks,” everyone said in response to Mr. Alexander.
“We just want to talk, nothing more than that. Answer any questions you may all have. We got off on the wrong foot at the meeting, and the Falkirk Consortium want to make amends for that.”
Brad watched Jake McBride turn in his chair and look up at the man.
“And how do they plan to do that, other than leaving the Buchanan land untouched?”
“Compensation.” The sleazy Mr. Ryan stepped forward, and Brad felt his hackles rise.
“You wouldn't be attempting to bribe an officer of the law, now would you?”
The man didn't flinch at Cubby's words, instead his smile grew.
“Of course not. We just want to ensure the people of Lake Howling get a chance to reap the benefits from the increase in tourism the development on the Buchanan land will bring.”
“Yes,” Mr. Alexander said, taking over. “A few extra developments.”
“Not interested,” Buster said in a hard, flat voice.
“You can't speak on behalf of the entire town, Mr. Griffin.”
“You have done your homework.”
“Tell me, have any of the Lake Howling residents you spoke with tonight been receptive to your offers?” Annabelle asked.
Their silence was only brief but it was enough to confirm no one was buying what they were selling.
Brad had heard enough. He had an outlet for his anger, and while he wasn't a resident, he was pissed enough to step in.
“Now leave, and take Ms. Buchanan with you.”
Mr. Alexander, Brad had realized, had a great deal more sense than Mr. Ryan. The latter was a terrier. No way in hell was he about to back off.
“I don't believe this concerns you, Mr. Gelderman, as you are not a resident here in Lake Howling.”
Brad lifted the now slumbering form of Billy off his lap and onto his mother's, and then regained his feet.
“These are my friends, and as an outsider I have an even better perspective of what you are attempting to do.”
“Oh now—”
“These people are neither bribable nor malleable, so take some advice from someone who has recently learned both these things, and leave. When you do, tell my father to find someone else to do his dirty work.”
“We don't take advice from you.” Color flushed Mr. Ryan's cheeks.
“You should.”
He felt everyone's eyes on him as he took Billy from Macy, then held a hand under her arm to get her out of the seat, and he didn't care how it looked.
“Let's go.”
Macy looked ready to drop where she stood. She didn't argue, and he could tell that the night's events had taken their toll on her, coupled with the death of her father.
They said good night, then started walking. He carried Billy draped over his shoulder, and Macy walked silently at his side.
“Your father is a real piece of work.”
“And then some,” Brad said.
“Must have been hard on your mom.”
“Sure, but she could have pushed back. Instead she chose the easy route.”
The air was cooling, but it felt good. The people had thinned, most still at the carnival, and soon it was just them walking up Macy's street. If he didn’t have all the other shit going on inside his head, he could say this picture was damn near perfect. Holding the little warm body nestled in his arms, and with the woman he liked, strongly, and possibly, maybe cared more for, at his side.
“It takes a strong person to stand up against that, especially if you've lived with it your entire life.”
“But she should have fought harder when her children came along.” Brad was surprised by his words. Maybe surprised wasn't the right word, as he'd thought them often enough. The surprise was that he said them out loud.
“She should have, but again that takes strength, and maybe it was something she didn't have much of as she'd never believed herself strong.”
“Don't protect her, Macy. She likes the lifestyle and what my father's money brings. There was nothing to stop her loving us more.”
He saw the house rising above all the others.
“That's an ugly house,” he said, to draw her attention away from him.
“Don't go after my house because you don't like the topic of conversation.”
Her words were calm, but he was pleased to hear the bite in them.
“How about, I don't want to talk about my mother then?”
“At least that's honest, but as I don't want to talk about me, or my house, you're the other option.”
“Can we not talk about either?”
“Sure, but then I've had several veins sliced open tonight. Fair’s fair.”
“Macy.” He sighed.
“So, your mother didn't love you?”
“I didn't say that.”
They walked up her driveway. She dug into her bag, and he heard her hands rummaging through the contents.
“You don't have a key-specific pocket in there somewhere?”
“Key specific? Is there such a thing?”
“How do you find anything if you don't have places for them?” Brad heard more rummaging.
“It's part of the fun, like a game of guess what the shape is.”
He snorted.
“Aha.”
“Nice work.”
She opened the door, and he walked inside with Billy still slumbering in his arms. Heading for the stairs, he climbed with Macy on his heels and headed for the boy’s bedroom.
Macy stripped him and pulled on his pjs and then tucked him in, and Billy hardly murmured.
Switching on his nightlight, Macy then waved him from the room.
They headed downstairs and into the kitchen. Brad scooped up a sleepy Razzle and took him outside, and then they bedded him back down for the night. They were simple things, small things that families did all the time, things he'd never done or had done to him.
“You want a coffee?”
Brad shook his head as they reached the lounge, and simply reached for her. Sliding a hand around her back, he eased her close and kissed her. It was soft and so goddamn sweet he was pretty sure he just sighed with the beauty of it.
“You okay?”
“Yes, and I have to thank you for that.”
“Thank me how?”
She looked up at him, her hand going to his hair, pushing it off his face, then her fingers trailed down to stroke his cheek.
“You told me I was strong, and in the last few days I've begun to realize that maybe you're right.”
“I’m glad you’re starting to see what I do. Add to that beautiful both inside and out.”
“Actually”—she touched his lips, running a finger along the top then bottom. To Brad, it felt like she was mapping his face—“you are one of the nicest, kindest, and gentlest men I have ever met, Brad Gelderman. You are one of the good guys, and I'll add to that hot.”
“Aww shucks,” he said, never comfortable with compliments.
“But, I have to back away from you now, Brad.”