Chapter 8

By the time they reached Jacob’s house Cassie was turning her ring around and around on her finger. This belonged to his wife. That was the main thought in her head as she and Jacob walked in the front door. As she looked around the house, she found nothing feminine at all. She wondered if Jacob removed everything that reminded him of Lydia. The house was filled with books, maps and heavy furniture. It was neat and tidy, but it looked masculine with its earth colors and straight lines. There were no pictures except landscapes and sail boats and ships.

Jacob took her hand. “Come on in the kitchen with me and I will make you some real Irish tea like it is supposed to be made.”

“Why do the Irish and English think they are the only people on this side of the planet who know about tea?” Cassie followed behind him into a huge rustic kitchen.

“Sit, and please take off your lethal looking shoes. Tea will be ready in a minute. And to answer your question about tea, well, we think we know how to make and serve tea because it is true. Though of course we do give the Asians some credit. Americans have ruined tea in two ways.”

“Oh, do tell me.” Cassie sat down at the table and discarded her high-heels.

“First, Americans have to have instant everything. Good tea takes a little time. Second, Americans have no appreciation for the process of making and serving tea. They don’t understand the importance of making it an event to be appreciated. Look at the amazing Japanese tea ceremonies. They know how to do it too.”

“I suppose you are right. I won’t argue with you tonight, Jacob. I am too full of Irish food and Irish music.”

“I’m happy you enjoyed tonight. I hoped you might see part of the real Ireland. After all, you are from Irish stock yourself, right, Miss Malone?”

“True, but as you noted, I am polluted by the American way.”

“Cassie, I want to say…” Jacob was interrupted by the whistle of the tea kettle.

Cassie waited for him to get through his tea making ritual and tried hard to be quiet and still. Yes, it was true; Americans didn’t like to wait for anything. She thought it telling that a big masculine guy like Jacob could care about making tea the right way and sharing it with her. She wasn’t used to this kind of treatment.

“Here you are, now try to relax and enjoy this, taste the tea, and inhale the scent of it. Try to pick out the different notes in the plant itself.”

Cassie couldn’t help but smile as she reached for the cup. “Only the Irish can get poetic about tea.”

“Maybe, but I can bring out your Irish side with a little cooperation, if you like.” Jacob put his hand over hers.

“Meaning what?”

“Meaning, if you like it here, and you say you do, maybe you’ll consider staying at least long enough to see the country and settle in a bit. You can’t get a feel for the country by staying a few months in just one area.”

“Oh, Jacob, I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it in a serious way. I can only think about six months ahead right now. To leave my country…we’ve talked about this. I don’t know how I begin such a thing—the logistics alone!”

“You could be a dual citizen, and of course, there are these things called jets that allow you to fly back and forth pretty easily I hear.”

The idea of it made her anxious but she wasn’t sure why. “I will think about it. Let’s change the subject.”

“Very well, how is your book idea coming along and your research plans?”

“Oh, yes, Jacob, I finally have a great book idea! It is about the ghost-child. Can you tell me about what Lydia experienced in the monastery?”

Cassie knew she made a mistake. She saw the change in Jacob’s face and felt the joy go out of the evening as he put his cup down on the table and stood.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Cassie, now or ever.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories. I just find the story of the child fascinating and plan to research it more. Maybe there was too much wine and excitement tonight and I am not thinking straight. Again, sorry for my bad manners.”

“Look, Cassie, you can choose to do anything you wish about the story, but leave me out of it, and Lydia too. I don’t want anything to do with it. Dredging up all those old rumors, those tall tales again, will only hurt people. You have no idea how much trouble and pain that silly story caused.”

“At the risk of ruining our evening, I do want to make it clear, and so there is no misunderstanding, finding out what happened to those two girls is important to me. Putting the story to rest is a good thing, Jacob, or at least finding out the truth. I’m sorry this causes you pain or bad memories, but this was something Lydia seemed to believe too. Don’t you wonder about it at all?”

“No, I don’t, Cassie. I only wonder how two seemingly intelligent women can believe in ghosts. That’s all I wonder. Well, and how you can exploit this for your own agenda, to write a book.”

“Hey, wait a minute, here. I have no intention of hurting anyone, but I know when secrets are exposed, there can be fall-out. I didn’t start out to exploit anyone or anything. I ran across this story by accident and now I am invested it in. There are a lot of things in this world we can’t explain but we still know to be true. I thought the Irish were a bit more mystical and open to this sort of thing than most.”

“Not this Irishman. I’ve seen what getting too close to this kind of thing can do. Leave it alone, Cassie. Leave it for your sake, and for the sake of—-just leave it, please. “

“I can’t leave it now. I have seen too much and learned too much. Something happened to those girls, something bad, and I want to know the truth. I think it is only right. I will go forward with this, and I will do my research and I will write my book.”

Jacob’s face was flushed and he clenched his fists. “You have the right to do as you please. Maybe we don’t know each other very well after all.”

“Don’t make this so personal, Jacob. Can’t we just take it slow and see how things go as we do get to know each other better? You might end up wanting to know more about the story yourself. You don’t know what else I might find or what I will write in the end. Don’t be so quick to judge me.”

“I don’t know what you will find or what you will write, that is true, but I do know some things are better left alone. I’m not sure I want to go forward with this thing between us. I feel I will end up waving goodbye to you at the airport in a few months anyway. Maybe we are just too out of sync, and have too many obstacles in the way now.”

“Oh, Jacob, you are acting like a spoiled child; and why are you so quick to write this off? Why are you so afraid?”

“We are just too different, Cassie, and I have no patience with all this ghost talk. I think I have been clear enough.”

“You don’t have to participate in my research, Jacob. It has nothing to do with you anymore. Why can’t you just believe in me a little and see how things go?”

“Easy for you to say. You are holding all the cards. I think you know how I feel, but you have said very little. You are the one with the power here, Cassie.”

“I don’t want any power. I just don’t want to rush into anything. Like I said…”

“Yes, yes, I know, you just got out of another relationship.” Jacob ran his hands through his hair.

“Exactly, and I can’t help that, or how I feel. I do like you, a lot, and you must know I do, or you don’t know me. Why can’t you be happy with what we have right now and leave the rest alone to work itself out?”

“I don’t know, Cassie. I’ll take you back to the retreat center now. I think we need some time apart. Or at least I need some time to think.”

“But Jacob…”

“Let’s go, it’s getting late.”

****

The drive back to the retreat center was torture. Cassie didn’t know what to say to him and was stunned by his stubborn attitude. She didn’t try to make conversation because she got angrier with every mile. How dare he give her some kind of ultimatum this early in their relationship? How dare he suggest she give up her country? Who does he think he is? His good looks may get him everything he wants, but not this time. She was sick and tired of letting a man call the shots in her life. It was like Jed all over again. No, never again. She stared out the window, willing the miles to go by faster.

By the time they reached the retreat center Cassie was convinced their relationship was over. As soon as the car stopped she jumped out, slammed the door, and never looked back. Jacob did not follow.

April left her a note on the door to come to her room when she got back if it were not too late. Cassie knew it was too late to disturb April, but she could have used someone to talk with about all this. She knew April was not the right choice because she was too young to understand this particular situation. She was glad she and April had set the meeting with Professor Roland for the following day. She needed another view point from someone with more experience with this kind of thing. This was an invaluable opportunity to pick his brain and get the research material he gathered for her. Also, something other than Jacob in her head might help.

Even though it was late, Cassie was too wired to sleep. She read through her notes and worked on her outline for her book, the book that was taking shape in her mind, a book about a ghost child. She went to sleep thinking of the spirits that were not resting in peace all around her, and tonight her spirit was not at peace either.

Cassie woke from a dreamless sleep; and against all odds, in a good mood. She had slept longer than normal. The sun was well up and the sky was clear. Breakfast service was soon but she wasn’t hungry. She took a quick shower, pinned up her hair, pulled on her jeans and her oldest sweat shirt, and plugged in her little tea kettle. The tea kettle made her think of Jacob. She called April to let her know she was not going to breakfast because she wanted to write. She dug out another protein bar from her suitcase, made her tea, and went out to the balcony. She and April were to leave after lunch to meet Professor Roland and she wanted to make some notes for the meeting.

Cassie was happy with the progress on her book outline. It gave her hope and purpose, and she was grateful. She just finished when the first bells started to ring out the notice for lunch. Since it was Sunday, she put on a dress. She looked at herself in the mirror and was surprised to see the usual circles under her eyes were gone. She looked more like her old self than in a long time. “Welcome back, Cassie,” she said aloud. Ireland was agreeing with her, problems and all. April tapped on the door and she grabbed her key, ready to go.

“April, cross your fingers Jacob won’t show up for lunch with Bernadette this Sunday. Things got a bit tense last night.”

“Oh, Cassie, sorry. If you feel like talking about it, here I am. What if he does show up?”

“I don’t care. I’m not about to hide out. Those days are over. I missed one meal with the group already and don’t want to appear anti-social.”

“I understand, Cassie.”

“If Jacob does show up, I don’t want him to think I’m acting like a pouting child. Especially since I accused him of acting like one last night.”

“Oh my, it does sound as if things got tense. But I know your students will like seeing you outside the classroom, so I’m glad you decided to show up for lunch.

To her relief there was no sign of Jacob in the dining room. She was able to relax and enjoy talking with some of the ladies from her writing class. She did notice Emily and Rose glance her way more than once and they were not smiling. What could they possibly know? Maybe it was her imagination making her think they did suspect something. She could live with it.

April leaned in to whisper as their table-mates rose to go get dessert. “I checked out the car for you already, and if you want to leave a little early we can see the old church in the village before we see the Professor. It has an ancient cemetery there you might like to visit.”

“Perfect, April. I’ll run back to my room for my purse.”

“I’ll meet you out front, Cassie. Go ahead and get the car. I need to feed Shamus and give him a minute outside.”

They were on the road by twelve forty-five. That gave them almost an hour to visit the church before their meeting with the professor. Cassie brought her camera and April busied herself with the instructions while they drove along in compatible silence.

They took photos of the cemetery and then spent some time with Professor Roland. They were both fascinated by his quick mind and appreciative of his knowledge. Cassie found herself telling him almost everything, all their encounters and thoughts. Instead of being skeptical or patronizing he asked if he could come to the retreat center to get a reading. April almost fainted at the thought, but the three of them hatched a plan. Cassie would officially invite him to talk to her writing students about Irish writers. When the students and staff go into Dublin afterward for their outing after lunch, he will stay with them and investigate, or at least look around. He seemed interested and excited about their story.

When they returned to the retreat center they found Ida standing beside the car log book desk. “Hello ladies, where have you been all day?”

“Hello, Ida, and so sorry. I guess we forgot to write down a destination note. I wanted to get some pictures to send to friends back home. Then we got caught up in doing more research for my book, and we visited the cemetery as well.” Cassie tried her most innocent smile.

The bells started to ring. “I’m glad your day was productive. Just in time for supper now.”

“See you inside, then.” April hung the keys back on the rack with shaky hands.

“You have done nothing wrong, April,” Cassie whispered. She hid her smile and gave April a big hug.

They followed the hall around to the dining room. “Oh Cassie, I never had so much fun in my life, so I must be doing something wrong!”

“You are a hoot. I will tell Emily and Rose about the professor coming to the class tomorrow just so we are covered there.”

April did a little hop-step in her excitement. “I can hardly wait to see what he finds and what he thinks.”

“I’m very excited about this too, but I need to work a little tonight if I am ever going to get this book out of my head and on paper.”

April’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m going to find some food for Shamus and take him for a walk after supper. I’ll take him for a longer one after the staff goes off duty and the rest go into the game room for the evening.”

“What are we to do with him, April? We’re going to get caught with him one of these times.”

“I can’t let him go now. I’ll take the blame for it if they find out. Maybe I can talk them into having a mascot dog here.”

“Now that is a great idea. I’ll back you up in any way I can.”

Supper turned out to be a lively affair because Emily and Rose brought in a harp and a fiddle player to entertain the retreat group. There was some impromptu singing, and one lady in the writers’ retreat read one of her poems. By the end of it all Cassie and April were both tired and watching the clock to time a graceful exit.

As soon as Rose got up to say goodnight, and put an end to the evening, Cassie and April made a hasty retreat.

They parted ways at the staircase. “Have a good night Cassie, and good luck with your writing. See you at breakfast.”

“I’ll be ready on time if I remember to set my clock. I could have sworn I set it last night but if I did, I turned the alarm off in my sleep.”

“Hope your dreams are ghost free.”

“Hey, and the same to you, April.”

Cassie changed into her pajamas, washed her face, and set up her computer. She spent some time with her handwritten notes and soon she was ready to work on her book outline again. The next time she looked at the clock it was almost midnight. She stood and stretched and was proud of herself for getting so much accomplished. She realized she had not thought of Jacob for hours either. Yes, the book might get her through it all.

It was in the misty minutes between night and dawn, and Cassie was completely awake, but didn’t know why. She sat up in bed and peered into the semi-darkness. Her heart pounded as if she had just run a mile at full speed. She reached for the water on the nightstand and took a long drink. She swung her legs to the floor, but she felt too shaky to stand. A cool vibration of air bounced around her, taking her breath away for a second. As her vision adjusted to the dimness, the white of Kathleen’s gown appeared. She stood at the window with both hands held out toward Cassie. Kathleen’s long white gown blended in with the white sheer panels across the French doors, and her bright eyes were all the more startling against the background of white. “Cabhru liom teacht ar mo dheirfiur.”

Kathleen repeated it again, and this time Cassie rushed to turn on the recorder, her hands not cooperating. “What are you saying, Kathleen? How can I help you?” Cassie turned to adjust the volume on the recorder.

“Kathleen…”

But she was gone as if she had dissolved into the white curtains. Cassie struggled to remember the other Gaelic words Kathleen spoke, but they were gone from her mind. She willed her legs to move forward, and stumbled out onto the balcony, but Kathleen was nowhere to be seen. She looked at the clock; it was a few minutes after five. She went to the bathroom and splashed water on her face to make sure she was not dreaming.

“Kathleen, I don’t know if you can hear me, but I am trying to figure this out and I will find out what happened to your sister, I promise.” She closed and locked the French doors, again.

Cassie got back into bed feeling not at all silly about talking to a ghost. She slipped into a restless sleep, and dreamed of long dark halls, cold floors, and Gaelic whispers in the night.

She slept hard for the next hour but got up as soon as her alarm sounded. She was a bit tired, but excited about the events from the night before. She knocked on April’s door just past six-thirty. By the time she filled April in on what happened the night before, the bells for breakfast started to ring.

They sat near the windows in the dining room and looked outside at the peaceful landscape. It was hard for Cassie to believe that just a few hours ago she was listening to a ghost ask her for help. April offered to go get their tea and left Cassie in deep thought about the night before. She hoped no one joined them for breakfast this morning. She was not in the mood for small talk.

April put the tea in front of Cassie, who was still staring out at the landscape. “I didn’t sleep well last night either, but at least I didn’t get a spirit visitor like you.”

“I’m just so darned annoyed with myself. I didn’t get the recorder on in time. Maybe next time.”

“She seems intent on getting you to hear her, Cassie.”

“Yes, and I don’t mind telling you, it is a bit unnerving.”

“What’s our plan for today?”

Cassie took a long drink of tea, again, making her think of Jacob. “I need to find Rose or Emily after breakfast and let them know the professor is coming to talk to the class this afternoon. I hope they won’t be mad I didn’t ask prior to inviting him.”

“Look, Emily is coming our way.”

April stood. “Good morning, will you join us.”

“Thank you, no, April, and good morning to you both. I just stopped by to remind you we are taking the writing group into Dublin to a reading at Trinity College after breakfast, but we will be back in time for your evening class, Cassie.”

“About that, Emily, I was about to come look for you—I invited Professor Roland to come by and discuss Irish writers with the group this afternoon. He is helping me with research for my book. It was a last minute thing, and I hope you don’t mind.”

“Please extend my invitation for him to stay for supper. The two of you are on your own for lunch. But they have set aside fruit and cold cuts in the refrigerator for you.”

Cassie tried not to show her relief. “I’ll ask the professor to stay if he can, and thank you.”

They watched her straight back walk away. “I can’t read her, April, was she upset?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“If all goes well, the professor will arrive about an hour after they leave and we will have several good hours with him before everyone returns for class.”

The rest of the meal passed without incident, though Cassie did catch Rose looking their way a few times. She was getting annoyed with her constant scrutiny. Or was it just her imagination?

Cassie looked at her watch. “We need to get down to the archives and get some work in before the professor gets here. We must accomplish three hours of work in one hour. Let’s get going.”

They made their way down to the archives, talking in whispers about what they hoped the professor could help them with. After a few minutes, they realized they couldn’t hear the garage doors open from where they were in the archives so April went around to the side to watch the cars drive off to make sure everyone was gone. An hour later, finished with their work in the archives, they went to the front of the building to wait for the professor.