Chapter 14

Cassie felt her stomach form those familiar knots as she gripped the phone and tried to reason with Jed. He was in Dublin at the airport and planned to come directly to her. She still wasn’t certain how he found out where she was, and she was still in shock he had come all this way to talk to her. She assumed he put her out of his mind before she got on the plane to go to Ireland. After some negotiation, he agreed to meet her for lunch the following day in Rosehaven village at the Tea Room. She hung up the phone with a defeated sigh. Now, she must remember to tell Jacob.

Cassie and April delayed going into the dining room for dinner as long as they could. They discussed Jed’s call, and they kept watch for Jacob in case he showed up for dinner with news. As the minutes ticked on, they gave up on Jacob and went in to the dining room as the last bell sounded. April pushed at her food and Cassie kept looking back at the door until meal time was over and they could make their escape.

“Oh April, class tomorrow, and I’ve not even thought about it. At least I have my lesson plan done and can fall back on lecture.”

“You’ll be fine once you get started. You always get into your subject once you get up there in front of them.”

“Hum, hope you’re right.” Cassie looked at her watch.

April looked at hers as well. “Why hasn’t Jacob called, I wonder?”

“Maybe he doesn’t have anything to tell us just yet. I’m sure he will call me tonight. Let’s go get the classroom ready for tomorrow. I’m too nervous to go back to my room.”

“What did Jacob say about Jed?”

“Well, the thing is—I haven’t told him yet, but I will, I will, today, as soon as he calls.”

“What do you think he will say?”

“What can he say? Jed was part of my life before I met Jacob, and a part I now have to deal with, like it or not. It wasn’t my idea for Jed to come here. No one is more surprised than I am about all of this.”

April stopped in mid-stride. “Did you say you were meeting him in the village tomorrow?”

“Yes, at the Tea Room.”

“Cassie! That is two doors down from Jacob’s bookstore.”

“Oh, I totally forgot. I was so desperate to find a place to see him so he wouldn’t come here. The Tea Room was the only place I could think of to meet him.”

“This is like watching two cars crash in slow motion.”

“April, please, don’t be dramatic. I will explain things to Jacob, send Jed on his way, and that will be that. Then we can get back to our plan.”

Cassie could see April try to hide her amusement. “Why are you smiling?”

“I seem to recall Jacob has a bit of a temper. Why not drive over and tell him about all this in person? Why don’t you drive over to see him tonight?”

“A good idea, April, but he seems to be missing, and I have no idea where he is. I’ll try his cell again if he doesn’t call soon. I just hate to bother him if he is with David.”

Jacob’s silence made Cassie wonder if he had changed his mind about pursuing things with the attorney and was avoiding her. This pushed thoughts of Jed from her mind. She tried to keep busy with her final lesson plans, but it was difficult. She looked at her notes for her book and sighed. If Jacob didn’t support her efforts she knew it would drive a wedge between them capable of ending their relationship. She was determined to see this through, get justice for the girls, and write her book. This was her new mantra. It was time for the truth and if Jacob couldn’t agree, maybe he was not the man she thought him to be. By eight she had drifted into a state of anxiety about Jacob and what she would say to Jed the next day. She tried Jacob’s cell twice and it went to his voice mail. She tried the bookstore and they told her he had not been in all day. It was hard not to think the worst. At ten she closed her computer and took a long bath before she went to bed. She knew she needed sleep to get through the next day.

After a restless night, Cassie woke up tired and on edge minutes before the alarm sounded. In spite of eight hours of sleep she went to her final class in a depressed and anxious mood. After class she checked out a car, gave April an update on things, and drove into the village. She had an hour before she was supposed to meet Jed so she stopped at Jacob’s bookstore hoping to catch him in. They told her he wouldn’t be in until late afternoon. She looked at her watch. She didn’t have enough time to drive out to his house. And what if she did and found him there—what would she say? He was making some kind of statement by not returning her calls. But what and why? She browsed the bookstore until it was time to meet Jed. She walked the half-block down the street toward the Tea Room wondering yet again why Jed had come to Ireland to find her. It didn’t make sense. Though he was prone to large and dramatic gestures, his trip to Ireland without her invitation was a big gesture, even for Jed.

She saw him before he saw her. He was leaning against his rental car parked in front of the Tea Room. He was one of those men who looked good in any kind of clothes. His long legs and athletic body looked at home on the tennis court or in a tuxedo. He used his looks to his advantage, and was well aware of his appeal. He was on his phone now, as always, but when he saw her he smiled and put his phone away. “Cassie, at last. You look great; this country agrees with you.” He put his arms around her and tried to kiss her but she turned her cheek.

“Oh, so it’s going to be that way.”

“Jed, why are you here?” She pushed his arms away and moved backward out of his reach.

“To bring you home, of course. Why else would I have traveled thousands of miles during my busiest time of the year?”

“Sorry to tell you this, Jed, but you have wasted your time and frequent flier miles.”

“I think you might change your mind once you have heard me out. Will you do that for me? Will you at least listen to me, Cassie?”

“Jed, there is nothing you can say…”

“Just give me five minutes, Cassie. Not a lot to ask, is it?”

“Five minutes then. Let’s go inside.”

After they were seated and had placed their order Jed reached for her hand but she pulled it away.

He shook his head, and his lips curved into a small confident smile she knew so well. It was the smile to assure everyone he always won. “Cassie, first let me say how sorry I am. I took advantage of you, your hard work, and your dedication. I didn’t appreciate you, and I know it now. I let you down in every way possible, and well, the fling with the girl meant nothing to me. I will have to live with my mistakes. I am here not only to ask your forgiveness, but to bring you back home with me as my partner—a partner in every way. I want you to marry me, Cassie, and half the company will belong to you. You can develop your own group of writers.”

Cassie felt her face flush with anger. “Well, this is a surprise, and I won’t pretend it’s not. But you are too late, Jed. I don’t want to edit anymore; I want to write. I am writing now. I do forgive you, or at least I am sure I will eventually because this move has changed my life for the better. I feel like me again for the first time in a long time, or maybe ever.”

It was Jed’s turn to be angry. “What are you talking about, Cassie? You badgered me for years to promote you and let you develop your own stable of writers, and now you want to throw it all away? What about me and you? You want to throw us away too?”

“There is no us anymore, Jed. There never was really; it was always you and then whatever was left over you gave to me. This is true in every way in our relationship from business to personal. Think about it. If you are honest with yourself, you know I am speaking the truth.”

Jed leaned back in his chair. “All I know is you are making a big mistake, a really big mistake, Cassie, and one you will live to regret.”

“I’ll take the chance.”

Jed shook his head in confusion and looked down at his watch. His dark hair always so perfect and in place, fell forward onto his forehead. It was the look Cassie had loved. He looked boyish and sweet. But looks can deceive. She had learned his practiced smiles and manufactured looks of concern and caring. His handsome face and polished exterior hid a strong determination to get what he wanted, no matter the cost to others. No one and nothing would ever be as important to Jed as himself and his own dreams.

Their food arrived and they both ate in silence for a few minutes.

“This silence is uncomfortable for both of us, and unnecessary, Jed. Let’s talk about your trip and have a civil meal.”

“I don’t want to do small talk, Cassie.”

She could tell he was trying to gauge her mood. He put his fork down and cleared his throat. “Look Cassie, the thing is, I miss you, and I know I was wrong in the way I handled things. I was crazy to let you go without a fight. I just want a second chance with you. We can make it work. I will do anything you want me to do. You can write, and you don’t have to work at all, with me, or in the business, I mean. I love you. I just didn’t know how much until you were gone.”

These were words Cassie dreamed of hearing for years. But now it was if he were speaking to someone else. She felt like an observer watching a play.

He leaned in close to her, his face only inches away, and put his hand on hers. For a moment Cassie remembered how she felt about him when they first met. She jumped in head first, buying Jed’s patter, his image, and she was convinced she found Mr. Right. He was handsome, successful, smart, and charming. He had been impossible to resist.

Then a switch flipped in her brain, everything was clear, and the past fell away forever. “Jed, I can’t go backward. I’ve moved on and you can too. I’m sorry.” She pulled her hand from his and took a sip of tea. It was then she looked up and saw Jacob watching them through the window. She raised her hand to signal him to come in but he walked on.

“Excuse me a second, Jed.” She ran to the door and out onto the sidewalk.

“Cassie—what the hell?”

She ran out the Tea Room door. “Jacob, Jacob, wait a minute.”

Jacob stopped and did a slow turn and walked toward her. “Who is he Cassie?’

“It’s Jed. I was going to tell you he was coming but I couldn’t reach you all day yesterday.”

“I was with the lawyers all day and in the archives at the newspaper. I realized last night I had left my phone off. They are not allowed in the archives. The battery in the phone was dead as well. It was too late to try to call you when I got home last night.”

“I was worried you changed your mind about going forward.”

“How can you think that of me, Cassie? Do you still not know me?”

“I didn’t want to think it Jacob, but when I couldn’t reach you I was afraid.”

“Why is he here?”

Jacob’s quick change of subject left her stammering for a reason. “Well, he just came; I mean he emailed me he was on the way. I didn’t know until the last minute.”

“But why is he here?”

“To apologize, to make things right between us, and to offer me a job and to take me back home.”

“And are you going home—did you accept his apology?”

“It’s my turn to ask if you don’t know me.”

Cassie saw Jed coming through the Tea Room door and walking toward them. “Oh well, here he is now. I will introduce you.”

Jed walked toward them, a puzzled look on his handsome face. “Cassie, what’s going on? Let’s finish our lunch and our conversation, please.”

“Jed, sorry to run out on you, but I had to talk to Jacob. Jacob this is Jed, my, my former…”

“Her fiancé, Jed Patterson.”

Cassie turned back to Jacob. “My former boyfriend and boss.”

“Hello Jed, I am Jacob, her current boyfriend, but not her boss at all.”

Cassie’s stomach did a flip at those words, and she saw the look on Jed’s face go from surprise to anger.

“Well, Cassie you are a quick worker, I must say. Will Jacob here support you while you pursue your fantasy of becoming a writer? Isn’t your writer fantasy the reason you are here?”

“What Cassie and I plan to do is no business of yours; and I think you owe her an apology.” Jacob put his arm around her waist.

Jed put his hands in his pocket. “I think I have done all the apologizing I care to do for one trip. If you will excuse me, I will pay the lunch tab and be on my way back to America. Goodbye, Cassie.”

They watched him go back into the restaurant and Jacob took her hand. “Cassie, I am sorry. It was a stupid thing for me to do. I had no right to jump into your business. “

“Well, a girl does like to get relationship confirmation before it is announced on the street.” She could only laugh at Jacob’s look of distress.

“Again, I am sorry. I can go in and apologize to him if you like and you can finish your conversation.”

“He and I are finished, Jacob. You just helped move things along for me. I have to thank you.”

Jacob smiled and took her hand. “Well, then let’s make some plans and get on with our day. It’s turning out better than I hoped.”

They went to his office in the bookstore. He closed the door behind them, and begun to prepare tea while they both recovered from their encounter with Jed. Cassie could tell Jacob wanted to ask her more about it, but he was holding back.

“Jacob, it’s fine, you can ask me anything you want to ask about Jed. There need not be secrets between us, nothing we are afraid to say to each other now. I don’t like secrets, except in books.”

“You have told me what I wanted to know. It is over with him. If I’m reading you correctly, you are at least considering staying here in Ireland. All good news as far as I’m concerned.” He kissed her on the lips and handed her the tea. They decided to spend the rest of the day site-seeing in the village and following Cassie’s agenda. There was no more talk about Jed or the future.

When they returned to the bookstore, Jacob finished briefing her on what David, his lawyer friend, said about taking their evidence to the authorities to open an official investigation. Since the investigation would be from an old missing person’s case, it would be complicated not only by lack of witnesses, but lack of cooperation by the church. Now it was real. Someone outside their little group knew about it. They had concrete plans now and things would begin to happen. They decided the first thing they needed to do was to talk to April. The investigation would affect her current living arrangement, her relationship with Rose and Emily, and her job. Jacob also must talk to his aunt.

Jacob looked at his notes from his meeting with David. “I’ve been advised to ask the owners in for a formal meeting but not without the authorities being present. In order to search the grounds, they will need approval from The Haven owners but also from the church as they still own the adjacent property. Remember, I too am on the list of potential investors in the land deal. The idea is to expand so the writers and artists’ community can grow. Though no money has yet changed hands.”

Cassie was trying to follow it all. “Do things work the same here in Ireland as in the U.S.? Meaning, they must show cause to examine the evidence to make sure it is solid enough to actually serve a search warrant?”

“Yes, it is very similar. They will be able to call in counsel, and I would assume it will be two different groups, one for the church and past monastery, and one for The Haven to get access to the archive and records still in the building.”

Cassie tried to keep the fear out of her voice. “What is the next step?”

“You go back and talk to April and see what she wants to do. We can wait a bit until your classes are over and those people go home, and to give April time to make her plans.”

“The classes are over tomorrow, and they will be gone in two days, so that should give April enough time. I’ll go back now and talk to her before the dinner hour. We are supposed to have a dinner tonight for the students. Tomorrow is my last official class day. I have private meetings with a few who wanted some career advice the next day, followed by a quick lunch, and then my obligations are over for this class. In the original plan with Emily and Rose, I would now work with April to complete the monastery-archive work and have free time to write.”

“You can move your things to my house as soon as the class is over. April is welcome there too if she needs some transition time. Cassie, let her know, please. I can also give her some work at the bookstore to help replace what she is losing from her job there,” Jacob said.

“Oh, you are so kind to do that for her, and for me. April will be so happy. Though I have no idea what her long-term plan will be. I guess we’ll find out.”

Jacob walked Cassie to her car and gave her a long kiss goodbye.

“Call me later at the bookstore after you talk to April. Let me remind you, I now have to get home to feed the dog I have been crazy enough to take in.”

Cassie’s mind was working overtime on the drive back. She put Jed out of her mind, but she was worried about April, and about her own issues. How would she transition her life to Ireland, when, and for how long? What about living with Jacob—and maybe marrying him someday? Maybe he didn’t want to ever marry again. Did he? Then she switched to thoughts of all the trouble they were about to cause everyone; and though she felt sorry, she was not sorry enough to stop. If she could do this for the girls and for Lydia, she would deal with the fallout she knew would come. Then, of course, there was the book she planned to write about all this, the book about Kathleen and Maeve. Through the ton of anxiety, she glimpsed something else—happiness. She realized she had never felt more focused and happy.

Cassie parked her car in the Center’s garage. Today, she had purpose, and today she claimed her life as her own.