“You two seem awfully chummy tonight,” Jesse said, handing Beth a platter with the steaks on it.
“We thought we would make it easier for you.”
Jesse narrowed her gaze on Beth. “You’re up to something. I can feel it.”
Beth touched her chest. “Who, me?”
“Yeah, you.” Jesse held the door open to allow Beth to exit the house first. “Last week you were avoiding him and now I can hardly keep you two apart.”
“We’ve given up fighting our feelings.”
Jesse’s eyes grew round, and she hung back by the door, her voice low as she bent toward her to ask, “You aren’t leaving this summer, then?”
“I didn’t say that. Can’t a gal date without it having to lead to anything permanent? I want to enjoy my last few months here. I enjoy being with Samuel.” Even though she and Samuel had planned to play up their attraction, Beth was discovering she wasn’t really playacting at all. She meant every word she’d said to Jesse.
Her friend’s eyes widened even more. “This doesn’t sound like you.” She stepped back. “Come to think of it, you aren’t dressed like the Beth I’ve known for years. What have you done with her?”
Beth laughed. “I’ve come to my senses. You, Darcy, Zoey and Tanya have been pushing me to wear brighter clothes, to let my hair go, to wear some makeup.” She waved a hand down her length, indicating the teal-blue capri pants with small beads dangling from the bottom and the matching top with a mandarin collar and capped sleeves.
Jesse pointed to Beth’s teal sandals. “You’ve even painted your toenails orange. You’ve never done that before.”
“Jane helped me pick out the color.”
Jesse’s mouth fell open.
“The guys are looking at us funny. We’d better take the food to them.” Beth left her friend by the back door and walked toward Samuel and Nick by the grill.
Her date’s eyes glittered dark fire as they roamed over her. She nearly stumbled, and had to catch herself before she sent the platter with their dinner flying across the deck.
With warm humor Samuel winked at her, taking the platter from her. “Is everything all right with Jesse?”
Nick glanced back at his wife. “I think you two foiled her plans for the evening.”
Samuel placed his arm about her shoulders. “That’s too bad. What plans?”
Beth marveled at how innocent he looked. She pressed her lips together to keep her laugh inside while Nick forked the top steak and flipped it onto the grill.
“You don’t know that—” Nick studied Samuel for a long moment. “You do know.”
Both of them nodded as Jesse joined the group, carrying the corn on the cob wrapped in aluminum foil.
“Okay, now that you all have had some fun with me, I have to say, Beth, I do like your new look.”
“Who says we’re having fun with you?” Samuel drew Beth even closer and gazed into her eyes. “I like your new look and your old look.”
Her stomach flip-flopped, her legs going weak. Samuel’s grip on her tightened as she began to sink from the sensations his look sent through her. “I have to admit I like this outfit, too. Your daughter has great taste.”
“Jane went with you shopping for clothes, too?” Jesse handed the corn to Nick.
“Yes.”
“I’m surprised I didn’t hear anything about it. That would have been hard to keep quiet in Sweetwater.”
Beth grinned. “That’s why we went to Lexington to shop. I didn’t want the gossip hounds to work overtime.”
“Believe me, when they see you, their tongues will be wagging, unless this is the extent of your new wardrobe.”
“No. I bought several outfits. The next one I’m wearing to church tomorrow and the third one to school on Monday.”
“Are they all like this one?” Jesse asked Samuel.
“I don’t know. I couldn’t get my own daughter to tell me what Beth bought. I have to wait with the rest of you.”
Jesse planted her hands on her waist. “Beth Coleman, you’ve always been an open book. I can’t believe you are keeping secrets from us.”
“And loving every minute of it.”
Nick turned the steaks over. “Jesse will be up all night speculating.”
The scent of grilling meat and spring flowers mingled to lace the air. Beth backed up until she felt the lounge chair and sat. “You’ll just have to make the best of it, Nick. I’m sure you’ll think of something to keep yourselves entertained while losing sleep.”
Jesse burst out laughing.
“By the way, where are the kids?” Beth asked, observing Samuel moving around the chair to stand behind her. Her pulse quickened in anticipation of his touch.
“Cindy and Nate are at Gramps’s, for the whole night.”
Finally—an eternity later, in Beth’s mind—Samuel settled his hands on her shoulders. Since she had come up with the scheme to give Jesse what she wanted—Beth and Samuel together as a couple—he had thrown himself wholeheartedly into the role of her boyfriend. She had thought it would be easier than fighting all the attempts by her friend to get them together. She was having second thoughts. She enjoyed his touch too much, and since they had arrived she had felt more and more comfortable with his arm around her or his hand on her.
* * *
“Jesse has gone back inside,” Beth whispered, standing out in front of her friend’s house, the stars shining bright in the dark sky, the night air cool but pleasant, especially with Samuel’s arm around her shoulders, his warmth seeping into her to ward off any chill. “You don’t have to pretend any longer.”
“Pretend?”
“You know, that we’re a couple. Jesse isn’t looking.”
“She could be spying out one of her windows as we speak.”
“She isn’t. I think we have convinced her we’re an item, and tomorrow the whole town will know.”
“I think the whole town already thinks that.”
“They do?”
“Yeah. Yesterday Liz asked Aunt Mae when I was planning to propose.”
Beth pulled away and squared off in front of him on the sidewalk, her hands going to her waist. “Propose! We’ve only been on two dates.”
“Three.”
“Okay. Three. Honestly, the people of Sweetwater are getting worse than Jesse ever was.”
Samuel took her hands and stepped closer until little was between them, not even air. “They care about you. They want to see you happy. I think that’s sweet.”
“You don’t have to be married to be happy. I’ve been happy for the past thirty-eight years without a man. I’ve been—”
He lowered his head toward hers, cutting off the flow of her words. “I’m going to kiss you. I just wanted to warn you.”
She nodded, a slight movement before his lips crushed down onto hers. The kiss stole her breath and any rational thought she had left. Standing on her tiptoes, plastered against him, she felt transported to a realm of the senses where she focused on his smallest detail—the dimple in his left cheek, the citrus aftershave he wore, the lines at the corners of his eyes that deepened when he smiled, the gruffness of his voice, the rough texture of his hands that he built things with. She had all those little traits memorized so that she could instantly recall him when he wasn’t around.
When he drew back, resting his forehead on hers, she realized that he was as affected as she was by their kiss. She imagined if she laid her palm over his heart she would feel it beating as fast as hers was.
“That wasn’t for the benefit of anyone but you,” he whispered in the stillness.
Desperate to get control of her careening emotions, she backed away and glanced around her. “Thank goodness it’s late.”
“Yes, and I suppose we both need to get home. I have a sermon to deliver twice tomorrow.” He took her hand and began to walk toward her street.
“After the meal Jesse prepared for us, I’m glad we’re walking home.”
“And it gives me a little more time with you. Private time without others around.”
“Are you talking about Allie earlier this evening riding her bike alongside us as we walked over to Jesse’s?”
“Not quite what someone would expect on a third date, but Allie was dying to come along and see you. I think she’s jealous that Jane steals so much of your time when you’re over at our house. Allie even told me the other day she needed tutoring.”
“She does? I thought she got all A’s.”
“She had one B on her report card last time. I think she’ll survive, but she said it right after you and Jane returned from Lexington.”
“I’ll try and plan something special with just me and her.”
“You don’t have to, Beth.” His grasp on her hand tightened, drawing her closer to his side as they walked.
“I want to. Allie is so sweet. She reminds me of my sister when she was that age.”
“And Jane reminds you of yourself?”
“There are similarities.”
“Then my oldest daughter should be just fine when she grows up.” Samuel paused at an intersection, looking up and down the street before crossing.
“She’s almost grown up, Samuel. It won’t be long before she’s eighteen and heading for college.”
“I know, I know. I’m not sure I’m going to like that change.”
“I’m beginning to appreciate change in my life. For so many years I tried very hard to keep everything status quo. Now I’m learning to embrace change.”
“Hence the new clothes and look?”
“Yes, as well as the plans to go to Brazil.” She had to mention her plans. She had to ground not just him but herself in what was going to come in less than two months. She’d made a commitment to herself and the Christian Mission Institute. She didn’t back down from her commitments.
Samuel turned up her oak-lined street. “What are you going to do about your house?”
“I’m keeping it. It’s finally paid for. If my sister or brothers want to come back to Sweetwater, they’ll have a place to stay.”
“What about renting it out?”
“I don’t know. I would like a place myself to come home to between assignments.” She couldn’t even explain to herself why she wasn’t doing something with her childhood home. She envisioned herself coming back to Sweetwater from time to time to renew friendships and ground herself in the place she had come from, before heading back out into the world.
“Who’s going to look after it while you’re gone?”
She stopped on the sidewalk that led to her house. “You’re full of questions tonight. I haven’t come up with anyone yet. Any suggestions?”
“I will.”
“I can’t ask you—”
He brushed his fingers over her lips. “You didn’t ask. I volunteered. Just as you did to tutor Jane. Let me do this for you. My house is almost back to normal, thanks to you. Jane’s happier than I’ve seen her in a long time. I think that’s your influence on her. I don’t have to argue with her to get her to study. She wants to. Maybe I should ask what you have done with my daughter.”
She wanted his fingers back whispering across her lips. This evening his touch had become so natural to her, as though he had been doing it for years. But she had to put a halt to the direction her thoughts were going. Dangerous territory. “I’m glad Jane is settling in. She’s forming some good friends at school, and Ryan is a wonderful young man.”
“I have to agree. Jane even spent the night at a friend’s house last night. She’s talking on the phone to her friends here in Sweetwater. She’s laughing, smiling more. I’m beginning to feel the town puts something in the water. My children haven’t been happier.”
“We’re a close community. We take care of each other.”
“That’s apparent all the time. When we need help at the church, there’s always someone to do it. Usually more than one person. Our outreach fund is healthy.”
“Speaking of the outreach fund, how’s the doll-house coming for the Fourth of July auction?”
“I should be finished very soon. If I get some time this week, I’ll show you the completed house next weekend. Then the real fun begins—making the furniture, the odds and ends for the place. It’ll be a family project.”
“I’d love to help. I used to love playing with my dolls when I was growing up. It’ll bring back fond memories.”
Samuel started up the walk to Beth’s house, again reaching out and clasping her hand. “You’ve got yourself a deal. I know Saturdays can be busy. We could work on it on Sunday afternoons after church. I can usually corral my kids then.”
The thought of doing the project with his family brought a smile to Beth’s mouth. She’d missed her own family since Daniel had left for college in January. For years she had wondered what it would be like to be free of raising children. She’d made plans for that time, but hadn’t really figured on how lonely it could be by herself in her now large house without three siblings. Once she was in Brazil, she would have plenty of people around her at the mission and a new life to learn.
“Then I’ll pencil you and your family in for the next few Sundays.” Beth stopped at the bottom of the steps that led to her porch and faced Samuel.
He took both her hands in his, bringing them up between them. “You should stay for dinner afterward. That’s the least we can do for your help.”
“I’d love to.”
“Well, then, I guess this is good night.” He began to lean toward her, hesitated, then pulled back. He squeezed her hands, then spun about and left.
Beth watched him walk away, already missing his company. He was such a good man that maybe after she was gone Jesse could find someone for him. But when she thought about Samuel dating someone else, jealousy, something she rarely felt, sprang forth, surprising her. Maybe she wouldn’t say anything to Jesse.
* * *
“Close your eyes.” Samuel clasped Beth’s hand to lead her into his workshop in the basement.
The scent of sawdust and paint hung in the air as she stepped through the doorway, confident that Samuel wouldn’t run her into a wall or table.
“You can open your eyes now.”
When she did, the first thing she saw was a modern split-level house sitting on the workbench, painted as though it was made of light brown stones with dark brown trim. “I love it!”
“I started to do a Victorian house like Allie’s, but I wanted it to be as unique as Allie’s, so I went with something more updated.”
“It’s beautiful. You could be a carpenter.”
“It worked for Jesus, but I think I’ll keep my day job. I’m enjoying what I’m doing again.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear that. I know you were having your doubts, but as I told you before, your congregation doesn’t feel you’re doing a bad job at all.” Beth moved closer to get a better look at the house. “You’ve got a deck and a hot tub. You really have gone modern.”
“Do you think it will do well at the auction?”
“I can think of several people who will bid on it. Jesse will want it for Cindy and I bet Zoey will want it, too.”
“I was thinking next of doing a farmhouse or a New England saltbox house. What do you think?”
“You should ask the people who will be lined up after the auction what they want, because I believe the ones who bid and don’t get the split-level house will want you to do one for them. Your dollhouse is going to rival Jesse’s dolls.”
“It’s just a hobby.”
“That may be so, but it won’t stop people from knocking at your door.” She straightened from inspecting the different rooms. “What do you want to start with first?”
“I’ll leave that decision up to you and the kids.”
“Where are they?”
“Jane should be here soon. She went home with a friend after church. Allie’s out back playing and Craig’s picking up his room again. The first time he managed to get sidetracked and only put away one thing.”
“Ah, I remember those days. With Daniel I finally had to shut the door and not go into his room—otherwise we would have been fighting all the time. I had more important battles to fight with him, like graduating from high school.” Her gaze swept the neat workshop, all his tools in a certain place. “Where’s Aunt Mae?”
“In the kitchen making a dessert for dinner. She was glad you agreed to stay and eat. She loves to make desserts, but only does it when we have company.”
As Beth started for the stairs that led to the first floor, Samuel placed his hand at the small of her back and walked next to her as though they were back on Jesse’s deck trying to make a point with her friend. For a few seconds his nearness robbed Beth of any coherent thought.
Then she realized he had asked her a question. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“Which room are we going to start with?”
“The den. That’s the family room, the most important room in the house.”
Climbing the stairs, she was aware of Samuel behind her and was glad she’d worn her new white slacks with a bright lime-green cotton shirt. No more dull shades for her. She was really getting into wearing all different colors. She figured she’d blend in with the vivid birds of the Amazon.
Samuel directed Beth to his den while he rounded up the rest of the family. She crossed to the large window overlooking the backyard and saw Allie playing in her fort at one end of the swing set. She was an adorable child. Beth could remember wishing, when she had been in her late twenties and early thirties, that she’d given birth to a baby as her friends had. But when she’d turned thirty-five she’d given up that dream and replaced it with seeing something other than Sweetwater.
What would have happened if Samuel had entered her life five years before? she wondered as Allie jumped down from the fort and ran toward the back door.
Turning away from the window, Beth drew in a deep breath and smelled the scent of an apple pie baking. Her mouth watered in anticipation of the dessert Mae was preparing. Beth didn’t make desserts for herself. In fact, she didn’t cook the way she used to love to when she had her siblings at home. She needed to cook more—it had always been good therapy for her when she had been stressed. The smells that saturated a kitchen were soothing to her—bread baking, coffee perking, meat sizzling, all kinds of spices like garlic and cinnamon.
Her stomach rumbled as the children began to file into the den, chattering, laughing, filling the house with warmth. What a nice way to spend Sunday, Beth thought, making her way to the two card tables that Samuel was setting up.
Mae hurried into the room, her apron still about her waist, some flour smudged on her cheek. “Are we ready to begin?”
Allie giggled. “You’ve got flour on you.” She pointed toward her aunt’s face.
“Oh, goodness me. And I have my apron still on. Be right back.” For a large woman she moved quickly from the room.
“She’s always forgetting to take off her apron. I don’t even notice anymore.” Samuel pulled a chair out for Beth to sit in.
She did and allowed him to push it toward the table. She felt his breath on her neck and shivered.
“I’m going to sit back and let you direct this show,” he whispered into her ear.
She shivered again and turned slightly to glance back at him. Big mistake. His face was only inches from hers, and she could smell the mint of his toothpaste. She could remember their last kiss the week before. She leaned away, desperately trying to calm her riotous senses. “How did I get to be so lucky?”
He shrugged, straightening away from her. “Beats me. I just know I don’t know the first thing about sewing.”
“But you’re going to make the furniture?”
“Yep. Craig and I will, just as soon as you all decide what you want in the house.”
“I can paint the walls like I did for Allie’s house,” Jane said. “I already helped Dad with the outside stone.”
“I should have known that was your work. Very realistic.” Beth examined the floor plans that Samuel unrolled. “As I told your father, I think we should start with the den.”
“It’ll need a television and a couch like we have.” Craig plopped down next to Jane.
Before long everyone joined in discussing what the room needed, and then moved on to what they would do next. Aunt Mae came back without her apron and with her face scrubbed clean and declared that the kitchen should be the next room to tackle after the den.
The conversation swirled around Beth. She listened to the children argue about what colors to use, then lifted her hands to signal quiet. When they didn’t obey, she whistled, a high shrill one that immediately quieted everyone. They all looked at her, Allie’s eyes round.
A smile danced in Jane’s gaze. “She did that once in class. Got our attention real fast.”
“I think you punctured my eardrum.” Samuel rubbed his ear.
“That was something I learned when refereeing my siblings. It’s very effective.” Beth took a piece of paper and a pencil. “I think I need to assign jobs to each one of you or we’ll never get anything done.” She checked her watch. “We have been talking around and around for the past thirty minutes and not much has been settled.”
Samuel relaxed back in his chair, his gaze trained on Beth as she dealt with his children and aunt, giving them each something to start on. She was in her teacher mode and he loved seeing her at work. She would be a terrific mother. He still couldn’t believe a man hadn’t seen past her defenses to the woman beneath. She was loving and caring, willing to give of herself. She would be good teaching at a mission. But he couldn’t help wishing she wasn’t leaving soon. He was afraid she would take part of his heart with her when she did go to Brazil. He was falling in love and didn’t know how to stop the plunge.
* * *
The sunlight streamed through the branches of the maple tree and crisscrossed a pattern over the stones in the path. Beth watched the light dance about as the warm spring breeze blew the branches. Everything had come to a grinding halt today, and she didn’t know how to deal with it.
Going to the doctor for her physical before she traveled to Brazil was supposed to have been routine, not a big deal. Now it was. She could still remember her doctor telling her this morning after she had reviewed the results from the mammogram she’d had a few days before, “We need to do a needle biopsy. I’m scheduling you for the procedure Monday morning. If it’s malignant, we’ll need to operate right away.”
She hadn’t heard much of what the doctor had said after she’d uttered the word, malignant. All Beth’s fears rushed through her like a raging river. Hugging her arms to her, she tried to still the tremors, but they racked her body.
She was going to leave in five weeks. If the lump was malignant, she wouldn’t be able to. She—Beth couldn’t think beyond that. She buried her face in her hands and desperately tried to keep the tears inside.
It might not be. She had to hold on to that hope. She had to put her faith in the Lord that He knew best.
“Beth? Are you out here?”
She lifted her head, forcing a smile to her lips, swallowing the tears lumped in her throat. She didn’t want to worry Samuel with the news the doctor had given her, especially since there was a good chance nothing was really wrong. “Yes, by the pond.”
Samuel appeared on the stone path, dressed in black slacks and a white knit shirt. He returned her grin with one of his own, which dimpled his left cheek and crinkled his eyes. “I was just thinking about you.”
“You were?”
“Yeah. I knew you went to the doctor today. How did it go?”
The smile on her lips wavered, and it took a supreme effort on her part to keep it in place. “Fine. Fit as a fiddle.” Unless you consider the lump I have in my breast, she added silently, not wanting to tell Samuel unless she absolutely had to. His wife had died from breast cancer. She was afraid what the news would do to him. She would protect him as long as possible.
Samuel settled on the bench next to her. “I wonder where that saying came from. I never thought of a fiddle as being fit.”
She shrugged, latching on to the inane topic of conversation to keep her mind off what she didn’t want to think about. “I haven’t the faintest idea. A lot of sayings don’t make sense.” But for the life of her she couldn’t come up with a single one at the moment.
“I have to admit some things in life don’t make sense.”
She leaned away from him and stared into his face. “Are we going to get into a big philosophical discussion?”
“We could take our government for starters. Some of the red tape is senseless. Or how about—”
She stopped his words with her fingertips, much as he had done to her in the past. “I make it a practice not to discuss politics with anyone.”
The feel of his lips against her fingers sent a shock wave through her body. Not a smart move. She shifted her hand.
“Okay. Let’s talk about the end of the school year. We need to plan a party for our graduating seniors. Do you think you’re up to doing that?”
“No,” she replied before she realized what she was saying.
“No? Are you ill? I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you say no.”
“I’m going to be so busy the next few weeks I’m afraid I might not do the party justice. See if Zoey will.” She wasn’t lying to her minister, just not elaborating on what she meant by busy.
“Zoey would be good. I’ll do that. I know in the past the seniors have been honored at a church service, and I still want to do that, but I would also like to do something special for them after the service. Graduating from high school is a big deal.”
Beth saw Samuel’s lips moving as he spoke, but for the life of her she couldn’t focus on what he was saying. She kept going over what the doctor had told her and the implications of having breast cancer—what it would mean to her, to her plans for the future, to Samuel when he heard the news.
She clenched her teeth to keep from asking Samuel to pray for her. She couldn’t do that to him—not to the man she loved. The revelation snatched her breath away, causing her to gasp.
“What’s wrong?” Samuel asked in midsentence as he twisted around and stared at her, his sharp gaze honing in on her as though he was delving inside her mind to read her innermost thoughts.