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“WELL,” ROSE SAID, AS she made her way up to her tower room, “I can see why nothing has gotten settled since I left.”
“You really should be grateful for it,” Mary told her, as Mary fluttered a few feet in front of her.
“What? Why?” Rose faltered, taking a moment to glare at her small fairy friend.
“Because,” Mary said, “now that you’ve come back, you have more power to control the outcome.”
“For all the good it does me, dealing with my father,” Rose said, as she finally made it to the top of the princess tower.
“From what Juana has told me, he’s been much better since you’ve come back,” Mary said, referring to her fairy cousin who tended to the queen.
“Probably because it’s a good distraction for the kingdom,” Rose said.
Mary giggled. “I did happen to find a couple of newsletters telling about some of your adventures,” she said. “There’s a rumor mill somewhere in town. Apparently one who wants to put you and Philip together.”
“Great.” Rose shook her head. “Isra will love that.”
“Your sister will be fine,” Mary said. “She was really grateful that you let her stay in Einish with the rest of our friends.”
“Sophia and Ethan, along with Ronan and Fiona, are more than capable of keeping tabs on her,” Rose said. “I appreciate you coming with me, even though it was an early morning ride. I know how much you barely tolerate them.”
“I have never felt comfortable leaving you alone,” Mary admitted quietly. “And after Theo left, I knew I would have to watch you.”
Rose leaned down against a nearby windowsill. A long moment of silence passed between them, and Rose spent most of it hoping Mary would not press the issue, especially since Rose had been unable to admit to anyone else the real reason Theo left.
She knew that did not mean that the others did not suspect something.
In the days following their return to Rhone, Mary had asked several uncomfortable questions, and Rose had carefully answered each of them to avoid suspicion.
“Rose?” Mary asked.
No such luck. Rose grimaced. “What is it?”
“Why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you?”
Rose bristled. “You know what’s bothering me,” she said. “I’ve complained about my father and the kingdom’s politics plenty, haven’t I?”
“As detestable as I know you find them, I doubt politics would make you act the way you’ve been acting since we left Einish,” Mary said. “You barely eat. You have trouble sleeping. You’ve been training when you’re not otherwise occupied with something, but I’ve watched you enough to know you’re distracted.”
“There’s still the matter of Magdalina’s curse,” Rose said. “We don’t have much longer, Mary. My birthday is less than two months away.”
“I know that’s not what is bothering you,” Mary said. “Something has changed.”
“What do you mean?” Rose asked. “I’m still the same person.”
“Something happened, didn’t it?” Mary asked. “Between you and Theo.”
Rose felt her face flush over. She looked away. “No,” she lied.
“Rose.” The admonishment in Mary’s voice was soft, but Rose suddenly felt terrified.
“I don’t want to talk about it, Mary.” She measured her words out carefully, keeping her tone light. “I told you, he had to go and take care of something for his grandfather. It was important.”
“It was more than that.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Obviously, it does, or you wouldn’t be acting like this.” Mary came up beside her. “He told you that he loved you, didn’t he?”
The blush on her cheeks burned hotter. “Please stop, Mary,” she said. “Isn’t it bad enough that he said it?”
“But Rose, you love him, too.” Mary arched her brow at Rose’s silence. “Don’t you?”
“Of course I do,” Rose snapped. “But he doesn’t deserve to be stuck with me and my curse. That’s why it’s better that he left.”
“Oh, Rose.” Mary came up and leaned against her, stroking her hair in a motherly manner. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Rose tightened her grip on the windowsill as she repeated the same lie she had been telling herself. “It’s better that he left.”
“But you’re not happy.” Mary shook her head. “Don’t pretend that you’re fine when you aren’t. I know you miss him.”
Rose shrugged.
Mary suddenly narrowed her eyes. “Oh, Rose. Don’t tell me he told you he was in love with you, and then you sent him away?”
“He decided to leave of his own accord,” Rose insisted, blushing once more.
“He told you he loved you and then he was going to leave you?” Mary frowned. “That doesn’t seem like Theo.”
“He does have to take care of his family, from what Thad told me. He told me he was going to leave, and I ... I just didn’t stop him.”
“Rose.” The disappointment in her voice was clear.
“What, Mary? What else would you have me do?” Rose asked. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“I would have rather you told him you loved him, too.”
“What about his family? His own plans for his life?”
“You could have gone with him.”
“And then what of my own family?” Rose asked. “I’ve been eager to get back here for so long, so I could help my mother.”
“It doesn’t seem like you’ve been able to do anything about that anyway,” Mary pointed out. “Your mother is still being tended to in the dungeons, and the king is unwilling to move up her trial.”
“Which keeps getting further moved back,” Rose admitted bitterly.
“And your plans for attacking Darkwood have also been delayed,” Mary said. “I know we’re waiting to hear from King Derick.”
“He said he would send aid,” Rose said, briefly wondering if her gyrfalcon, Virtue, was close to returning to Havilah. He would have the latest letter from Philip’s older brother, the King of Einish and Crystal Lake.
“Your birthday is still weeks away,” Mary said.
“It’s getting closer every day,” Rose said. “That’s why I want to go and attack Darkwood soon.”
“You know that there are plenty of things that we need to plan for with that.”
“I know, and I have done everything I can think of to do for it. I need Philip here to plan more,” Rose admitted. “He’ll be more familiar with his country’s soldiers than I am.”
“So what would have really prevented you from going off with Theo to help him take care of his family’s business?”
Rose frowned. Mary had managed to set her trap well, she realized. She tried to shrug it off. “I told you, I didn’t know what else to do,” she said. “And I’m not about to go after him. Not after I hurt him like that.”
Mary sighed. “You’re only hurting yourself in the meantime.”
“It’s better this way,” Rose insisted.
“Rose, come on. That’s terrible to say,” Mary said. “You want to be the queen one day, right? What of mercy?”
“I hurt him, Mary.” Rose gave up and looked at her. “I hurt him. He kissed me and told me he was in love with me, and I told him I didn’t want to love him, that I didn’t want him around.”
“He kissed you?”
“Yes.” The heat of his kiss washed through her again, as Rose looked down at her hands, where the rosary beads of her bracelet glittered.
She thought of another time, when they had fallen asleep just outside the inn on Maltia. He had been telling her the stories of the different beads when she had fallen asleep, allowing herself to drift off to the sound of his voice. Rose thought about how he looked in the moonlight, remembering every twinkle in his eye, every line on his suntanned face, the shy stubble on his cheeks.
Rose looked down at her hands, no longer wondering which finger would betray her to sleeping death, instead recalling the feeling of his hands in hers as he held her close to him.
Before her mind could wonder further, Mary sighed, breaking her concentration. “I have to admit,” Mary murmured, “I thought you were lovesick. I didn’t realize you were heartbroken.”
“I didn’t want you to know,” Rose replied wearily, as she once more turned her attention out to the far-off distance. From her vantage point, she could see far out into the mountains and forests of Rhone. She glanced down toward the town, looking down at the road that led to the castle, wondering if Theo would come back soon. She shook her head, trying to brush aside that hope.
“It’s better this way,” she repeated, more to herself than to Mary. “He’s probably doing much better without me there.”