image
image
image

*18*

҉

image

ROSE TOOK THEO’S ARM and dragged him away from the training area, before realizing she had no idea where to go. The castle was full of wedding guests and workers, and she wanted privacy. Ignoring Theo’s questioning looks, she began to look for a quiet room.

“What is it? It’s not Bachas again, is it?” Theo grimaced as he fell into step behind her. “I’ve already told Juana that I’m not responsible for him.”

“What did he do before?” Rose asked, suddenly curious. She had been so focused on the upcoming battle, she had barely listened to any gossip from around the castle.

“He was making a mess in one of the gardens, apparently. Juana did not like it, and she liked it even less when he came back into the castle tracking in mud. He refused to clean it up when Juana confronted him. Luckily for both of them, Sophia heard them arguing and stepped in, or another round of war might have started between them.”

“Well, that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. But speaking of fairies ... ”

Rose turned to the library and opened its door. When she saw that it was empty, she shoved Theo in and slammed the door behind her.

“What is it?” Theo asked. “What are you doing?”

“We’re going to talk, I’d prefer not to have an audience,” Rose told him. She crossed her arms and leaned back against the doors, blocking the exit, as she faced him.

“Do we need to do this Rose? Shouldn’t you be getting ready for tomorrow?” Theo asked. “We’re heading out for Darkwood. I know there’s still some things to do for the wedding, but the others will be able to handle that once we’re gone.”

“This is important,” Rose insisted. “It’s just as important as the coming battle.”

Theo sighed. “What did I do to irritate you this time?”

“You didn’t tell me that you fought with Everon,” Rose told him.

She was expecting him to repent at once. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest. “So?”

“So?” Rose felt her anger spark, and she nearly hit him for his flippancy. “That’s big news. I want to know about it.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Yes, it does.” When he said nothing in return, Rose softened and sighed. “Please, Theo. You wanted your revenge, just as much as I want to break my curse. It was important to you, just as Magdalina’s curse is important to me.”

“It was important,” Theo agreed. “But when I finally met with him, it was more a chance of fate than anything else.”

Rose said nothing as he told her how Annalora was Everon’s lover, how they both worked with the Magdust trade, and how, in the end, he had let Everon go free.

When he finished, Rose just stared at him. “You let him go?”

“Yes.”

“Why?” Rose asked. She came up and stood beside him. “He killed your family.”

Theo hesitated as her hand rested on his arm. “There’s no one reason why,” he said. “He has done terrible things. But with my aunt dead, he seemed too easy to kill. In some ways, I robbed him of his own family, of sorts, just as mine was taken from me.”

“But that was an accident,” Rose said. “You were going to bring her home to your grandfather.”

Theo shrugged again. “I know.” He gave her a rueful smile. “I had a feeling you would disapprove,” he said. “Maybe that was the reason I didn’t tell you I’ve decided to forgive him. Or at least, I’ve decided to let it go.”

“How do you do that?” Rose asked. She shook her head. “I don’t know how you do something like that.”

“It’s no secret that life is unfair,” he said. “But sometimes fairness just makes the world a more terrible place.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Do you remember that fight you had with Marsor the day of the jousting competition on Maltia?” Theo asked. “How I stopped you from killing him?”

“Yes.” Rose grimaced. “That turned out to be a bad decision.”

“But it was still the right one,” he said. “It might have been fair, but it would not have been just. I’m not the true judge, in the end. From what Annalora and my grandfather have told me, my parents were not so innocent, either. And while I still love them, I have to come to terms with their choices.”

Rose sighed. “I guess it’s good to know you still make me mad with all your priestly wisdom some days.”

“Well, we are still terrible friends sometimes,” he replied, reaching up to toy with a lock of her hair.

At the small, intimate gesture, tension instantly increased between them. Rose stilled, but she allowed herself to remain where she was, as she stared up at him in wonder. 

She thought about how Theo had been able to survive his family’s deaths, how despite everything, his heart had been able to find the power to forgive his mortal enemy. Was it possible that he would be able to survive loving her? Especially if she was unable to escape her curse?

He began to step away from her but Rose stopped him. The wall inside of her finally broke, and she knew she had to act. “No. I want to say something.”

“Well, I don’t want you to say something,” Theo told her. “You want to be friends, Rose. I won’t fight you on that.”

“Ha,” Rose scoffed, regaining some of her fire. “You’re fighting me now.”

“For good reason,” Theo told her. “I’m supposed to protect myself from you, remember?”

He tried to push her away again, but Rose slipped deftly between his arms, wrapping her arms around him. She lay her head down against his chest, willing herself to have the bravery to face him, and willing him to have the weakness to let her.

He went silent and stiff as she held him. 

“I didn’t want to fall in love with you,” she whispered.

“So you’ve told me, Rose,” Theo said, gripping her shoulders, trying to pry himself free from her grip. “If you don’t mind, would you please let me—”

“I didn’t want to,” Rose said, “but I did.”

He stopped moving. He stopped breathing.

Rose looked up at him, meeting his brilliant green eyes bravely. “I didn’t want to,” she said. “You were right about me. I was lying before, so I could protect you. I don’t want you to get hurt, if I’m not able to break my curse.”

She felt him slowly start to breathe again. She could hear her heartbeat thundering in her ears as she waited for him to reply. Standing as close to him as she was, she could hear his own heart starting to beat wildly. 

“Why are you telling me this now?” he finally asked. “Is it because I’m a knight, because I’m suddenly worthy of your love?”

“No.” Rose shook her head. “No, I am the one who was never worthy of you.”

He did not seem to hear her. “Is it because we’re about to go and face Magdalina tomorrow? Or maybe because Isra and Philip are getting married? Why, Rose? Why are you telling me this now?” 

If the circumstances were different, Rose thought, she might have laughed at his reaction. He sounded terrified. 

Instead, she tightened her grip on him. “Because as much as I didn’t want you to love me, and I know I don’t deserve it, I know now that I need you to love me.” Rose felt her face burn as she admitted what she had known, and feared, for so long.

Theo just stared back at her with an incredulous look on his face.

She released him from her embrace, letting her fingers curl into his chest. Rose did not want to force him to stay. She knew he had the right to walk away from her, after everything she had said that night in Einish. “Curse or no curse, I need you. I know it’s asking a lot—”

“No.”

Rose winced at his response. “Okay, but—”

Before she said anything else, Theo gently framed her face with his hands. “No, Rose,” he said. “No. It’s not asking anything of me that I wouldn’t give you. Willingly.”

Then Theo leaned down and kissed her. As Rose felt his lips press into hers once more, the rest of the world faded away. She began kissing him back as his hands pulled her body against his. Her arms slipped around his neck and tangled in his hair.

It was completely overwhelming, Rose thought. The smell of him, the sweat and musk and sun; the taste of him, the feel of his body against hers as she clung to him—all of it was just too perfect.

“I love you,” she whispered against his mouth. The words seemed to free themselves of their own accord, and at last, she was content to let them go. 

He pulled back from her to catch his breath. “I never thought I would hear you say that,” Theo whispered.

Rose pressed into him again, trying to get closer. “I never thought anyone would love me the way you do.”

He grabbed her, lifting her off her feet and pulling her against him. He held her there for a long moment, unable to stop himself from running his hands down her back and losing himself in her hair.

He gently put her back down on her feet. “You know, you should have fought me harder, if that was what you were going to tell me when I came back,” Theo told her.

“No,” Rose said. “I’m glad I didn’t say anything earlier. I didn’t want you to ... ”

“Didn’t want me to be hurt?” Theo asked.

She shrugged. “Mostly. If things don’t go well with Magdalina ... I didn’t want you to have to worry about me leaving you.”

“What changed your mind?” Theo asked. He frowned. “You’re not telling me this out of pity, are you?”

“No.” Rose shook her head fiercely. “No. When I heard about Everon, and you told me how you were able to ... to let him go, after everything ... I just thought that maybe you could handle another broken heart.”

He cupped her cheek. “My heart can take anything but your rejection. I know the world is not free from pain and suffering and loss, but I would take it, willingly, if it means I get to be by your side. So you should have talked to me sooner.”

Rose let out a shaky laugh. “You have to make things my fault with this, don’t you?”

“I’ll do just about anything to ensure I can kiss you again,” he admitted. “And that includes guilting you.”

“I don’t think it will come to that,” Rose told him. She leaned up on her toes and kissed him tenderly. “But even if it does, I deserve it. I know I hurt you before, and I’ve never been more sorry for anything in my life.”

“All I need is you to be here with me, to make up for it,” Theo told her. “No matter how little time we have.”

At his mention of time, the reality of their situation suddenly hit her all over again.

They were going into battle. In less than a day.

Rose pulled back from him. “I should have fought you harder,” she said. “We’re heading out for Darkwood tomorrow. I shouldn’t have sent you away before. We don’t have a lot of time left, do we? I’m so—”

“Rose,” Theo said, interrupting her. “Everything will be alright.”

“How do you know?” Rose felt her heart clench in despair. She had finally admitted she loved him, and they were together. And now, time was really running out. How much did they have left before their big battle? A day? Three? Then there was the matter of her coming birthday ... 

“Because everything is already perfect,” he told her, drawing her close to him again. 

“But I’m still cursed,” Rose reminded him. 

“Rose.” Theo met her gaze. “Tell me this. If I was the one who was cursed, and you loved me, would you let me stop you from being with me, even if we only had three days together?”

Rose rested her head on his shoulder and nearly laughed at her own foolishness. “No,” she answered. “No, there’s nothing that would have stopped me.” 

“Then you know why we’re going to be okay,” he told her. “We’re too determined to be together. If that’s the case, nothing can stop us.”

“What about death?” Rose asked. “Or at least sleeping death?”

“Death doesn’t mean that I will ever stop loving you,” Theo told her.

“That’s not logical.”

“It still works. Come on, you know I’m going to win this argument, Rose. Give it up.”

“So you think we’ll be okay because you said so?”

“Close enough. You’re the one who’s said before my logic is unparalleled.”

“Have I actually used that word to describe your arguing skills?” Rose asked. “I don’t think I have.”

“I know you’re just trying to distract me, because you know I’m right.” His arms wrapped around her.

“I think you’re cheating now,” Rose murmured.

“I don’t think of it as cheating,” Theo told her, “since I already won.”

Rose was not sure if she argued back or not. She was too busy enjoying his kiss once more.