Finding and Holding
Your Focus
In this fast-paced world, it can be really easy to lose focus. We can end up floundering and flapping about with no real idea of where we are going or what we are supposed to be doing. Having a focus or a direction can really help keep things on track. It can balance emotions and centre your mind. Hopefully the spells, rituals, and meditations within this book will bring your focus into being. But in case you need a little more help, here are some everyday ideas and suggestions that can also help.
Ditch the Tech
Our world is stuffed full of technology. In principle this is a good thing, but I also believe that too much of it is overwhelming. We are constantly bombarded with media, news, visual and audible stimuli, and—basically—never a moment’s peace. This isn’t healthy.
I was shocked to find myself completely reliant on my mobile/cell phone. It was never more than a few inches away from me: in my bag when I was out, on my desk when I was working, or beside me when I sat watching TV in the evening. And each little notification, each little “Bing!”, drew my attention away from what I was doing. As soon as I woke up, I was reaching for the phone. When I went up to bed early to read a good book, I found that half the time I was mindlessly looking at the phone instead.
I also caught myself, on more than one occasion, aimlessly scrolling through social media for considerable amounts of time. I wasn’t even taking notice of what was on it. It had become a habit, a bad one, and quite frankly, a pointless waste of time. I try now to only check social media a couple of times a day, both to take proper notice of what is on there and to limit the time spent.
In my home, we have always had the rule that no phones are allowed at mealtimes, but it didn’t seem like this was quite enough. I now try to have “phone-free” periods of time, and in the evening when spending time with my family, I leave my phone on the hall table, away from where I am sitting.
Honestly, the world will not end if you aren’t on social media for five minutes.
Tarot for Daily Balance
Tarot (and oracle) cards are excellent to read for guidance. I also like to work with them as a focus point for meditation and in spell work. You don’t need to be able to read tarot or oracle cards to be able to use them for spells and journeys. Choose a tarot or oracle deck that you are drawn to. Take a look at the images; your first impression is important.
I have several tarot and oracle card decks. (Collecting them becomes addictive.) I have two sets that I use just for readings. I also have a specific set that I use just for spell work. The images are basic and the keywords are stated clearly on the cards, so they make a perfect focus for spells or journeys.
As always, I would advise to use whatever deck you are drawn to, focus on the intent or issue, and shuffle the cards. Then spread the deck out facedown and pick a card, or turn the cards faceup and pick one that you are drawn to.
If you prefer to be guided by the general meanings of each card, here are some suggestions:
• Action—The Chariot, Ace of Wands, Eight of Wands
• Addiction—The World, Judgement, Strength, Temperance
• Change—The Magician, Eight of Wands, Wheel of Fortune, Judgement, The World
• Courage—The Star, Strength, The Chariot
• Decision—The Star, The Hermit, Justice, Nine of Wands, The Chariot
• Emotion—Ace of Cups, The World, The Sun
• Health—Strength, The Star, The World, The Magician, The Sun
• Health (physical problems)—Strength, The Star, The World, Three of Cups
• Motivation—The Magician, Eight of Pentacles, Ace of Wands
• Obstacles—The Chariot, Strength, Two of Cups
• Protection—The Star, Temperance, The Chariot, Four of Wands
• Releasing—The Moon, Judgement, The World
• Stress—The Hanged Man, Temperance, Four of Cups, Ace of Cups
• Transformation—The Chariot, The Magician, Judgement, The High Priestess, Strength, The World, Temperance
Individual cards, or a combination, can be used in spell work to help amplify and focus the energy. Add one or two into any of the spells included within this book or use the cards to create your own.
For meditation, select a card that you want to draw energy from and sit quietly with the card in front of you. Focus on the image—really dive deep into the picture and allow your mind to wander around the imagery and landscape of it. Talk to the people/person in the card’s picture. See what wisdom they can offer to you.
Pop a tarot or oracle card on your altar and use it as a focal point to draw strength and energy from.
It’s the Little Things
Turning your life around for the better can be a challenging and frightening task. My advice is to start small. Don’t write out a huge list of goals; just work on one small thing a day.
There are lots of easy, everyday ways to make positive change. Say “good morning” to one person on your way to work or hold open the door for someone. Making a difference is really rewarding; you get a warm, fuzzy feeling and it may well be the highlight of that person’s day.
Household chores can seem overwhelming too, but again: start small. Make your bed every day after you get up. These days, with quilts, it is seriously easy and only takes a second. Coming home later and seeing a nice, tidy bed rather than a messy one is a small victory. Wash up straight after dinner. It is a boring chore, but getting up the following day and seeing a kitchen full of dirty dishes is disheartening and starts your day off on the wrong foot.
Every house will benefit from a good spring cleaning, but this can be a mammoth task. First things first, you don’t have to do your thorough cleaning in the spring—any season works! Break down the chores into bite-size chunks and tackle one a day.
Take a moment each morning and breathe. This is a new day; this is your chance for a new start. Focus and set your intention for the day.
Make Yourself Happy
Ultimately—and even though you probably don’t want to hear this—you have the key to making yourself happy. It is the responsibility of no one else. You are in control; you really are.
There will be outside influences that you can’t change completely. We all have to earn money, for instance, and most jobs are a means to getting cash in the bank rather than being “dream” jobs. However, we can all make changes to our lives; even tiny ones will have a ripple effect. Drop a tiny, pea-size pebble into a pond and you still get a ripple that reaches outwards.
Blaming others and everything else for your situation will not help; it’s just shifting responsibility … Not even shifting it, really, just shifting your perception of it, because in reality the responsibility lies at your own feet. You are the one that can change things. You are the one that can take control. You are the one that can make a difference. Yes, it will take hard work (lots of hard work probably), but it will be so worth it for the results.
Wallowing in self-pity works for a while, but it soon becomes seriously boring. (Seen it, done it, got the T-shirt.) And whilst I absolutely appreciate that getting yourself out of it is difficult, it can be done. Then you can start on the road to recovery/enlightenment/living/insert-any-positive-vibe-here.
Do what makes your heart sing.
Do what works for you.
Trust your intuition.
Even baby steps in the right direction count.
Never give up.
Learn from your mistakes. (You will make them. We all do.)
Failure happens, but what you do after that is important.
This is your life. You only get one shot (well, in this incarnation anyway), so make it count.
A Final Reminder
You are never alone, particularly with this online world. There is always someone somewhere that will listen.
You are important.
You are amazing, no matter what you think on a bad day. Remember that you are just experiencing that … a bad day. Underneath it all, you are amazing.
There is nothing that cannot be sorted, dealt with, or handled in some way.
Don’t give up. It is OK to have a day off and start again the next day, or even the next week.
Be kind to yourself and be gentle. Learn to trust your intuition.
You are not broken. You do not need to be fixed. You just might need a bit of TLC and some fine-tuning.