Introduction to
Shadow Work
W hat is shadow work? Think of it as working with those parts of your personality that you don’t much like. With shadow work, you try to get to the bottom of why you do things and why you repeat behavioural patterns, then work with them to improve, dismiss, or incorporate those parts of you into a whole.
We all have dark sides. We all have shadow sides. We need this darkness—it creates the balance in our inner selves. What we need to do is to seek out and acknowledge those darker sides and work with them to keep ourselves in perfect harmony.
This can mean dealing with difficulties in facing sadness, sorrow, and anger, as well as any issues you may have with self-worth, self-esteem, and feeling that you deserve to be happy. It also covers all those feelings, emotions, and issues that you keep hidden from public view.
It is hard, it is difficult, it takes courage, there will probably be tears … but it will be so worth the effort.
The “shadow aspect” is the part of your unconscious that represses all the negative aspects of your persona. These shadows are the parts of you that are instinctive and often irrational. They can be projected—taking one of your own personal issues or complexes and turning it so that you see that same issue as a deficiency in someone else.
Not acknowledging your shadow side can cause huge problems to your mental and emotional state and, in the worst-case scenario, can be crippling.
Your shadow can take on a human form in your dreams. Connecting with this form and interacting with it can help shed light on your state of mind. This can also be achieved by connecting and identifying your shadow in meditation or journeying.
The shadow also has many layers. The top outer layer is made up from direct personal experiences. The layers below that are made up from archetypes which form our psyche.
Your shadow personifies everything about you that you do not wish to acknowledge. When you start the journey into shadow work you will become aware of, and sometimes embarrassed or ashamed of, those qualities that you ignore in yourself. But you will notice that you always see them in others.
Sometimes the shadow self can completely overtake a person. Especially when that person is confused, in shock, or paralysed by indecision.
It can be a long process to work with your shadow, and at first you may hit a kind of balance, a sort of standstill. With courage, strength, and support, you can overcome anything. The effort will be worth it. Once you have done the downhill slide, things can only go up!
Shadow work is essentially a healing process. Once you start on the up-ward spiral, you will be aware of your shadow side and how it works. Understanding your shadow side will help you immensely when you need to deal with situations, emotions, and feelings that you experience. You will know why you feel that way and how to deal with it.
The goal is to be aware and to acknowledge your shadow. This will help you become a better, stronger person and to be at peace with yourself and others. It is, however, an ongoing process. Once started it will continue for your lifetime, but it should get easier.
Where do you start? I am going to include some exercises and meditations here; you don’t need to work through them in order, but read through them and see which feels best for you to work with. If you can work with them all, then excellent. If you feel uncomfortable with any of them, then don’t do them yet—come back to them later. This journey isn’t going to be easy, so prepare for the work to begin …
Work with these tasks in conjunction with the magical exercises provided in this book.
Exercises
Reflection Exercise
The reflection exercise is about looking past your outer shell and seeing who you really are.
Find a pretty cup that you like and a drink to put into it—dark liquids work best. (Think a dark fruit juice or an herbal fruit tea.)
Make yourself comfortable.
Fill your cup half full of the liquid and hold the cup in your hands so that you can see the reflection of your face in the surface.
Once you can see your face, really focus on it—what do you see? Allow your subconscious to make comments.
If you get negative comments at first about wrinkles or bags under your eyes, just acknowledge them and let them go … You need to get past the judgmental stage.
It may take several attempts at this exercise, but you will eventually get to the stage of starting to see the “real” you in that reflection.
When you do get a glimpse of the inner you, acknowledge it and say out loud, “I see someone who …” Then drink from the cup. You are drinking in that positive affirmation; that real part of your “self” is then made whole.
Mirror Exercise
Once you have mastered the Reflection Exercise, try looking at yourself in the mirror. This exercise may take a few tries. I struggle with this one, but it is worth it.
Find a space where you can be alone and undisturbed. You could light a candle, but make sure you have plenty of light to be able to see yourself clearly.
Sit comfortably in front of a mirror large enough to see your whole head, face, and shoulders—or even better, a full-length mirror.
Look past the outer shell and see the real you inside.
Say hello to yourself, talk to yourself, acknowledge those areas of yourself that you aren’t so happy with, and release them. Find those areas of your inner self that you are happy with or proud of and give thanks out loud for them.
Meditations
Meditation is a very good “foot in the door” for shadow work.
In the Shadows
This is a simple meditation to see what shadows your mind and soul is hiding. It may reveal all kinds of things you don’t want to face right now. Know that you can walk away from the shadows at any time. You don’t have to unearth everything all in one go. Take it a step at a time. I would recommend on your first visit you just look around and take note of what is there. Then, when you feel ready, go back in and deal with one item at a time.
Make yourself comfortable, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing … deep breaths in, deep breaths out …
You find yourself outside an old, run-down wood house. Notice what it looks like. Take in all the details: the door, the windows, what they are made of, what colour they are.
Make your way around to the side of the house and then around to the back door. Open it and walk into the kitchen.
Look around you. Take note of everything you see. Tiny things may be important; they may have meaning.
To one side of the kitchen is another door, the door to the cellar, to the basement. You walk toward it and turn the handle …
It opens to reveal a wooden staircase leading down into the dark …
On a shelf just inside the door is a torch. Pick up the torch and use its shining light to guide you as you descend.
Slowly and carefully, you take each step down, one step after another …
You reach the bottom and enter the dark basement. This room holds the aspects of your shadow. Take some time here and see what you can hear, feel, sense, and see. Only look at the parts that you feel ready to take on—you can come back later for the rest.
If you can’t see anything, ask what is there for you …
When you have finished, and you are ready to return, slowly make your way back up the staircase, through the kitchen, and out of the back door.
Take some time to come back to this reality …
Open your eyes and wriggle your fingers and toes.
Eat and drink something.
Jot down any thoughts or images that came to mind during your meditation. It can be useful to refer back to them later.
The Rainbow Garden
The rainbow garden meditation will take you down through your layers. As you move through each colour of flower, you will go further. It works with the colours of the rainbow, which are also the colours of our chakras. As you work through each colour, it should lead you down through each layer of your subconscious. The idea is to take you to your inner self. It is a journey. See what you find there!
Make yourself comfortable, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing … deep breaths in, deep breaths out …
As your world around you dissipates, you find yourself in a beautiful landscape on a sunny day with blue skies. You are standing in the middle of a field surrounded by the most glorious grasses and flowers.
You are drawn to a patch of flowers to one side of you. They are casting a brilliant red wave of colour. Take in the red energy, run your hands through the red flowers, pick one, and breathe in the scent. Do you recognise what flowers they are? Look, listen, and allow yourself to be immersed in the passion, strength, and energy of the red flowers. Sit down, lie down, run around—allow yourself to be however you want to be within the red haze.
The flowers are starting to change … slowly at first, then a gush of orange flowers fill the area you are in. A wonderful orange wave of colour. Take in the orange energy, run your hands through the orange flowers, pick one, and breathe in the scent. Do you recognise what flowers they are? Look, listen, and allow yourself to be immersed in the passion, strength, and energy of the orange flowers. Sit down, lie down, run around—allow yourself to be however you want to be within the orange haze.
The flowers are starting to change … slowly at first, then a gush of yellow flowers fill the area you are in. A wonderful yellow wave of colour. Take in the yellow energy, run your hands through the yellow flowers, pick one, and breathe in the scent. Do you recognise what flowers they are? Look, listen, and allow yourself to be immersed in the passion, strength, and energy of the yellow flowers. Sit down, lie down, run around—allow yourself to be however you want to be within the yellow haze.
The flowers are starting to change … slowly at first, then a gush of green flowers fill the area you are in. A wonderful green wave of colour. Take in the green energy, run your hands through the green flowers, pick one, and breathe in the scent. Do you recognise what flowers they are? Look, listen, and allow yourself to be immersed in the passion, strength, and energy of the green flowers. Sit down, lie down, run around—allow yourself to be however you want to be within the green haze.
The flowers are starting to change … slowly at first, then a gush of blue flowers fill the area you are in. A wonderful blue wave of colour. Take in the blue energy, run your hands through the blue flowers, pick one, and breathe in the scent. Do you recognise what flowers they are? Look, listen, and allow yourself to be immersed in the passion, strength, and energy of the blue flowers. Sit down, lie down, run around—allow yourself to be however you want to be within the blue haze.
The flowers are starting to change … slowly at first, then a gush of indigo flowers fill the area you are in. A wonderful indigo wave of colour. Take in the indigo energy, run your hands through the indigo flowers, pick one, and breathe in the scent. Do you recognise what flowers they are? Look, listen, and allow yourself to be immersed in the passion, strength, and energy of the indigo flowers. Sit down, lie down, run around—allow yourself to be however you want to be within the indigo haze.
The flowers are starting to change … slowly at first, then a gush of violet flowers fill the area you are in. A wonderful violet wave of colour. Take in the violet energy, run your hands through the violet flowers, pick one, and breathe in the scent. Do you recognise what flowers they are? Look, listen, and allow yourself to be immersed in the passion, strength, and energy of the violet flowers. Sit down, lie down, run around—allow yourself to be however you want to be within the violet haze.
You have finally reached your inner self. See where the flowers lead you now. Do you see any pathways or a guide of any kind? Be guided to where you need to go. Ask any questions you have and listen carefully to the answers. Make note of any gifts you are given.
When you are ready, thank any guides you have met, hold your arms up to the sun, and feel the warmth on your face, then bend and place your hands on the earth and give thanks. Remember you can always return to this place.
Now work your way back through the rainbow of flowers …
Walk through the violet sea of flowers. Allow the colour and energy to wash over you. Breathe in their scent as you move on to the next colour …
Walk through the indigo sea of flowers. Allow the colour and energy to wash over you. Breathe in their scent as you move on to the next colour …
Walk through the blue sea of flowers. Allow the colour and energy to wash over you. Breathe in their scent as you move on to the next colour …
Walk through the green sea of flowers. Allow the colour and energy to wash over you. Breathe in their scent as you move on to the next colour …
Walk through the yellow sea of flowers. Allow the colour and energy to wash over you. Breathe in their scent as you move on to the next colour …
Walk through the orange sea of flowers. Allow the colour and energy to wash over you. Breathe in their scent as you move on to the next colour …
And finally, walk through the red sea of flowers. Allow the colour and energy to wash over you. Breathe in their scent.
Slowly and gently come back to this reality, feeling fresh and energised. Open your eyes and wriggle your fingers and toes.
Eat and drink something.
Jot down any thoughts or images that came to mind during your meditation. It can be useful to refer back to them later.
In the Library
The library meditation helps to deal with specific issues, particularly if they are from the past. You will need to focus on one incident that you feel uncomfortable or emotional about; something that you want to heal to help you move forward.
Make yourself comfortable in a place where you won’t be disturbed. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing … deep breaths in, deep breaths out …
As your world around you dissipates, you find yourself in the doorway of an old library. It is huge, and the walls are covered from floor to ceiling with wooden shelves packed with books of all shapes, sizes, and colours.
You spend a moment looking around in awe, taking in the sights, sounds, and smells.
Suddenly you feel drawn to explore. See where your intuition takes you.
You reach a bookshelf that is drawing your attention. You stop and scan the shelves until your eye fixes on one of the books. What colour is it? What size? What wording (if any) is on the spine? You take the book down from the shelf. Look at the cover detail. Taking the book with you, you find yourself a chair and sit down.
Open the book. It contains one of the memories or events from your past that you want to deal with. The book tells your story. You don’t need to relive the event, just acknowledge that it happened. As you are looking at the book you notice someone walking toward you across the library floor. You look up and realise it is your younger self, the age you were at when the event happened. They walk up and sit down opposite you.
Talk to them. Reassure them that you are now older and wiser and can help and support them to work through the issue. Talk about what happened, why it happened, and release it. Let them know that it is finished with and that they don’t need to carry the burden with them any longer. Sit and talk with them.
Once the conversation is done give your younger self a hug and tell them that you love them. As you hug them tightly, the image disappears and you are left feeling full of love and comfort.
Give yourself a moment to absorb what has happened. Then take the book back and place it on the shelf.
You can come back to this library any time you need, to just sit and be or to deal with other issues.
When you feel ready, make your way back to the doorway.
Slowly and gently bring yourself back to this reality. Wriggle your fingers and stamp your toes.
Eat and drink something.
Jot down any thoughts or images that came to mind during your meditation. It can be useful to refer back to them later.
Pull Up a Chair
This meditation is intended to confront (although I dislike the use of that word as it sounds harsh) someone that you have either fallen out with or who you feel has wronged you in some way. It could also be used to deal with your own demons by using the other person as a mirror. You won’t actually be summoning the person physical or spiritually. This is purely a representation of how you see them. It helps open your subconscious thoughts about your relationship with them. This is about taking a look at a situation from another angle and getting a different viewpoint. You will be using your subconscious to get the “other side of the story.” It will—hopefully—be enlightening.
Make yourself comfortable in a place where you won’t be disturbed. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing … deep breaths in, deep breaths out …
As your world around you dissipates, you find yourself sitting in a comfortable armchair beside a large, wooden kitchen table. You look around to find your bearings and see that you are in an old cottage with beams over your head and a warm fire burning in a large fireplace.
In front of you on the table is a large pot of freshly brewed tea with steam coming from the spout. Two teacups and saucers are also laid out, and a tin of homemade cookies is beside them. You pour yourself a cup of tea from the pot. As you stir it, someone enters the room.
You look up and see who it is. It might be a family member, a work colleague, or a friend. It may even be a version of your younger self. It might be a stranger. Whomever it is, you feel safe and comfortable with their presence. They take a seat at the table opposite you and pour themselves a cup of tea.
Talk to them.
If you have a grievance with them personally, get it off your chest. Spill the beans—don’t hold back. Tell them everything that you feel. Perhaps they are just there to bounce your own fears back. They may be with you to be used as a sounding board. Whatever it might be, be guided by your intuition and tell them what you feel needs to be said.
Now allow them to respond. They may tell you some hard truths, or they might show you another side of the situation. Let them finish talking.
If you have questions after they have spoken, ask them. Keep talking until you feel done.
Thank them for joining you as they get up and leave.
Take a moment, sip your tea, and eat a cookie (virtual cookies are calorie free). Take on board what they have said and give yourself time to process it.
When you are ready, come back to this reality. Wriggle your fingers and stamp your feet.
Eat and drink something.
Jot down any thoughts or images that came to mind during your meditation. It can be useful to refer back to them later.