ONE SUNDAY, ALEJANDRO OFFERED to take Berg and Uffa out on one of the four boats he kept down by the dock. In the morning they drank coffee and ate rye bread with butter and then they headed down to the water. Alejandro’s dock was shaped like a T and it extended probably thirty feet out into the bay. There were two boats tied up along the body of the T, and two boats further out, tied to the top of the T. On shore, flipped upside down, were several canoes.
“See, this boat here,” Alejandro said, walking over to one of the canoes. “This boat is so light. I built this boat so you could carry it by yourself. See?” He lifted the boat and winced slightly. “It’s perfect,” he said, still wincing, “for going to get your groceries in the morning. When I lived at Dillon Beach, I used to row this down to Five Brooks when I needed provisions. And this one,” he said pointing to a larger boat, “this is the one we’re taking out: Contos.”
The Contos was based on the Greek salmon boats that used to be sailed near Vallejo. She was sprit-rigged and beamy, but still fast and maneuverable. She was capable of carrying over two thousand five hundred pounds of fish and designed to be sailed underweight. The boat had a small cabin and she was equipped with a dory, which fit neatly on her foredeck.
Uffa uncleated the dock lines and shoved the boat off the pier, hopping onto the stern at the last moment. Alejandro’s house was located on the eastern shore of the bay and his pier edged out into a shallow cove. The cove was pretty much clear of obstacles, except for one rock near its center, which was submerged during high tide but visible during low tide, covered with slippery green seaweed. Alejandro had strung two leading lights from madrone trees near the shore so he could navigate past the rock if he had to return after dark.
They tacked their way up to the mouth and crossed the shoal with little difficulty. Once out of the bay, the winds picked up and shifted slightly to the north. To the west they could see the Slide Islands, rocky and brown, and to the east the coastal ridge, with its white, wave-cut bluffs. They sailed south now on a broad reach, less than a mile from the shore. Berg managed the jib, trimming the sheet every once in while to keep the sail full. When they passed the lighthouse they jibed and headed east, toward Wildcat Bay and Estero. This was the bay where the first English explorers had landed in the sixteenth century, looking for treasure. According to Alejandro, they had described the cliffs as reminiscent of the English Channel.
“When I first came here with my father,” Alejandro said. “I thought California was so ugly. I thought it was gray and cold and ugly. I was coming from Tahiti, you know, where everything is very bright and tropical. It wasn’t until I had lived in Talinas for several years that I began to appreciate the beauty here. It’s similar to what we were talking about the other day, Berg,” he said. “It takes time to build affection for something. You have to stay in a place. It doesn’t just happen instantly.”
Once inside the bay, all three of them squeezed into the dory and rowed to shore. They pulled the dory up onto the beach, its bottom scraping against the sand, and then they began to hike east into the estuary. Winter was still holding on, it seemed, and the sky was moon-white and pockmarked. Along the shore delicate herons stood knee-deep in the water and, in the distance, rows of oyster racks lay exposed in the low tide. Berg knew there was some kind of controversy about the oyster farm in Estero but he hadn’t paid close attention to it.
While they were walking, Uffa mentioned that he was thinking about going back to school.
“For what?” Alejandro asked, skeptically.
“MFA,” he said. “Get an MFA in poetry.”
Alejandro took a blue bandanna from his pocket and wiped his nose.
“You don’t approve,” Uffa said, watching him. “I know.”
“Do you want to be a poet?” Alejandro asked, shoving the bandanna back into his pocket.
“I like writing poetry,” Uffa said.
“But where does it lead you?” Alejandro said. “I don’t see the value. The best that can happen is that you create a cult of personality.”
“Are you kidding?” Uffa said. “I totally disagree. It’s art. Art is important. You practice an art yourself.”
“Yes, but it has a practical application.”
“Delivering drugs?”
“I’ve been building boats for years, Uffa, and the boats have been used for all different sorts of things: fishing, traveling…”
“I know, but I mean, c’mon, Ale. Poetry is exciting. It’s beautiful.”
“I know it’s exciting. I’ve no doubt it’s exciting,” Alejandro said. “But it’s a dead end.”
The two of them continued to argue in this fashion for the next several minutes. Alejandro saw poetry and writing as leading to madness. It could only be made on luxury time, he argued, could only be created out of profound boredom. To Alejandro’s mind, poetry distracted from the real work that needed to be done. As an artist, in the best-case scenario, all you did was cultivate your persona. You were left with nothing except an image of yourself as the poet and then you were dead.
“I would rather be in the world,” Alejandro said. “That is what I find beautiful. I’ll take the life of the peasant. Poetry is just empty sophistication. And sophistication is how we got into this whole mess in the first place.”
“I think it’s useful,” Uffa said.
“It leads toward madness in the end, Uffa.”
“That’s what happened to Szerbiak. That’s not what’s going to happen to me.”
“I never said anything about Szerbiak.”
“I know you didn’t.”
Berg had never heard Alejandro articulate his positions on poetry but he was not surprised by them. Alejandro held extreme views about many things. He believed the American empire was crumbling, and in a sense, he had moved his family to the country to build his ark and raise his children by the bay. Still, there was something hard in his voice when he argued with Uffa about poetry, something defensive and pained. Berg had the sense that he only half-believed the things he was saying, which was rare for Alejandro, who usually spoke with conviction. For a moment, Berg began to doubt Alejandro, to doubt his entire reality. Was he just some bitter old hermit? Or was he worth listening to, worth looking up to? The arguments he was making were logical, but they seemed cruel.
Berg had seen pictures of Alejandro with the young Szerbiak. This was when the two of them were both living in Colorado, fresh out of college. Alejandro was working as an anthropologist and Szerbiak was working on his first novel. There was a copy of that book on Alejandro’s bookshelf. Szerbiak had signed it and written a long inscription. Berg didn’t know what had happened between the two of them. He knew that Szerbiak had died a long time ago, after years of drinking.
When Berg first began to get to know Alejandro, he had the sense that Alejandro and his family had existed in this fashion for all of time. There was something eternal about them. Their life had such a clear rhythm, such steady purpose. It was hard to imagine them being anything other than the people he’d encountered when he first arrived. And yet, clearly, they had forged this world from something altogether different. They had inhabited different existences in different times. All you had to do was look at that picture of Alejandro and Szerbiak, the two of them dressed in sharp black suits, to know that, for Alejandro, many other lives had preceded this one.