Henry Kinsella
Henry: She wasn’t what people expected of me, Keelin. She wasn’t quite what I was expecting for myself either – I’d always gone for the same kind of girl, girls who were part of our set in London, sisters of school friends, that sort of thing. Keelin was . . . well, she was not that.
Jake: Did you know each other as children? As teenagers?
Henry: Her mother ran the small shop on the island, so I’d see her occasionally but we weren’t what you’d call friends. She barely looked at me, nor my brother, Charlie. She didn’t shriek with laughter like the other island girls did when they saw ‘the Kinsella brothers’. She looked bored by us. It was rather amusing, I must say.
Jake: Tell us about when you started dating.
Henry: OK, er, well, I suppose by the year 2000 I was living between Inisrún and the house in London. It was time I took an interest in the family business, my father said, but Charlie was rather territorial – it was clear there would be no room for me at KHG headquarters with him there. We all agreed it was best for me to take over Misty Hill. It wasn’t as lucrative as the hotels but it was prestigious, even then; it was a huge boon to the Kinsella brand, and I was hungry to prove myself, to show I wasn’t just some spoilt playboy. Especially after everything that . . . anyway. I needed this venture to succeed. And it was a delicate balancing act, Misty Hill, it wasn’t the cushy number some people seemed to think it was. The artists were my main priority, naturally, but you had to keep the islanders onside too. There was a lot of champagne sent to local weddings and turning up to funerals to shake hands and offer condolences. That’s where I met Keelin again, at her mother’s funeral.
Jake: Not the most romantic of occasions, mate.
Henry: I suppose not. (laughs) But I couldn’t stop thinking about her afterwards – how brave she had looked standing by the coffin, all alone. I remember hoping I would be as strong if I were to find myself in similar circumstances. And suddenly, I don’t know how to explain it but it just made sense, me and Keelin. Of course, I needed to be with someone from the island. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t realised it earlier.
Noah: What did your family think?
Henry: My mother was delighted. An island girl, she said, just like herself. She found it rather thrilling, I think. And while my father was just happy to see me settling down, he was shrewd enough to know it couldn’t hurt Misty Hill if I married a native. And everyone adored Keelin once they got to know her. How could you not? She was quieter than other women I’d dated, but I’ve never met anyone who cared as much as Keelin did. She was never too busy for her friends, always there whenever they needed her, and she was utterly devoted to Alex. I remember this time, it must have been after one of our first dates, when we arrived back to the cottage and the boy was waiting up for her; he wouldn’t go to sleep until we came home, Johanna said. He had a joke he wanted to tell his mother. Keelin said, Hit me with it, kid. Alex couldn’t stop giggling, he could barely get the words out, and then Keelin started to laugh too, as if this was the funniest joke she’d ever heard in her life. And looking at the two of them together, I wanted . . . I wanted to be part of it, I guess, a part of their little family. I wanted Keelin to be the mother of my children too. (pause) Not that we didn’t face our own challenges.
Jake: What kind of challenges?
Henry: It took us longer than we had hoped to get pregnant and sadly, my wife struggled when our daughter was born – I’m sure she wouldn’t mind me telling you that. She refused to breastfeed, saying she was afraid she would hurt the baby. She would wake me in the middle of the night in a panic, listing all the things that could happen to Evie – she might drop her, she might hit Evie’s head against a door frame, she might roll over and smother the baby in her sleep. It didn’t matter how often I tried to comfort her, Keelin wouldn’t listen. I’d hear Evie screaming, and when I’d go to check on her, I would find my wife standing there, staring down at the Moses basket, just watching the baby cry. That was when I insisted we get a doctor. I was beginning to feel frightened.
Jake: Why were you frightened?
Henry: (silence)
Noah: Henry, were you worried Keelin would do something to hurt the baby?
Henry: It was better once the doctor came and prescribed the antidepressants. It wasn’t my wife’s fault, of course – post-natal depression is terribly common, and she’s been a marvellous mother to our daughter ever since. But the fear never leaves you, that’s what I’m trying to say. You never stop watching them, looking for signs, afraid it might happen again.