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That kiss haunted Gavin all week. After telling himself for so long that it was wrong to want Jonathan, to have Jonathan simply kiss him had upset Gavin’s careful world. If Jonathan made the first move, did that mean Gavin didn’t have to worry about his self-imposed ethics? Gavin hadn’t crossed any professional lines. Jonathan had reached out first.
Every so often his tongue would swipe along his bottom lip, and Gavin would somehow taste Jonathan again, all mint and sweetness. Gavin wished the kiss hadn’t been so short. He’d barely had the chance to savor it. The next day at work, he’d stared at his phone, willing Jonathan to text and explain. You didn’t just kiss a guy and then not reach out. But maybe Jonathan regretted it? Could that be the reason for the silence?
Maybe Jonathan was waiting until knitting club. It made sense. He’d have finished the scarf by then, hopefully, and that meant he’d no longer need Gavin’s tutelage. Gavin couldn’t stop chewing on it, even as he got increasingly busy at work. The colder it got outside, the more patrons ventured in, wearing winter coats in a variety of colors. They looked like walking Christmas trees, bundled up in greens and browns and the occasional burnt orange.
This time of year also made it hard for the homeless. Gavin spent his time on the Reference desk calling various social service organizations, trying to find housing for his regulars. He couldn’t stand the thought of them being outside as the temperatures dropped.
“Here you go, Paul. The shelter on 5th has an opening. They’re expecting you.” Gavin drew a little map on the back of a flyer about library programs. He’d had to call in a favor, but Paul—a homeless vet who came in every morning to read the newspaper—would have a bed for Christmas.
“Appreciate it.” Paul’s voice sounded like gravel, slightly garbled like he wasn’t used to talking.
“Glad to help.” Gavin wasn’t always successful, but this year everything seemed to slide into place.
He finished up his Christmas shopping that weekend—yes, leaving it for the last minute again. It took him forever to pick out something for his mother. He had to coordinate with his siblings to make sure they didn’t duplicate gifts, like the year she got three smoothie blenders. Plus now some of his nieces and nephews were old enough to actually care about what he gave them. No more packages of socks for them.
It didn’t hit him until Sunday—Christmas was that Wednesday, which meant all the library programs for the week would be canceled. No knitting club. No chance to see Jonathan one last time before he went home to his aunt’s for the holiday.
He grabbed his phone and tapped out a text to Jonathan with shaking fingers. It wasn’t like they’d texted before, other than that single crochet pattern. This is Gavin, he typed, in case Jonathan had deleted his contact. I forgot to tell you. No knitting club this week :(
Waiting for those three little dots to turn into words felt like an eternity.
Ok. Do you still work tomorrow?
Yeah. Till 5, Gavin replied.
I’ll stop by on my way out of town.
See you then. Gavin sat back on his bed and let the phone drop.
He covered his face with his arm as he buried himself in his pillows. That went well, didn’t it? All week he’d been desperate to talk to Jonathan and...
Now he was a little afraid of seeing him tomorrow. Gavin liked Jonathan, more than he should. Although he’d been telling himself there were professional reasons for keeping his distance, the truth was he didn’t know if he could open his heart. He’d loved Trevor, and then the bastard had betrayed him.
Jonathan wouldn’t do that.
But how did he know? How did he let himself trust again?
Those thoughts spiraled, keeping him awake most of the night. At work the next day he couldn’t keep his hands still, waiting for Jonathan to show up. Too bad he couldn’t knit at the Reference desk.
“You look about five seconds away from hyperventilating.” Chelsea carried a stack of picture books behind the desk. She plopped them down and took a seat next to Gavin. “Everything all right?”
Gavin didn’t quite know how to answer. “It’s complicated.” How else could he sum up the past few weeks? He’d have to talk about his stupid hang-ups, and Gavin avoided doing that at all costs.
She wheeled her chair over and tilted her head to one side. “Oh? Sounds like a story.”
As much as he liked Chelsea—they were friends as well as colleagues—Gavin didn’t want to tell her, not yet. Whatever was happening between him and Jonathan was personal and fragile, and he couldn’t mess it up by talking about it. Especially not before talking to Jonathan. He opened his mouth to change the subject, when Jonathan walked into the room.
Gavin saw him out of the corner of his eye, somehow tuned in to Jonathan’s presence. Jonathan stood in the doorway, the light from behind illuminating him like an angel in a dark winter coat. He carried a large shopping bag close to his side. After scanning the room for a moment—probably taking in the chaos of people waiting for computers, children chasing each other, and the one guy sitting at a table with his newspaper and glaring at everyone—before his eyes met Gavin’s. He smiled, a wide grin that made Gavin’s breath catch.
Warmth flooded Gavin. He clenched his hands into fists, keeping them on his lap and hidden from view. Chelsea stared at him, and he wished she was gone as Jonathan made his way over to the Reference desk.
Jonathan leaned over the desk and whispered, “Is it okay if I talk to you while you’re working?”
“Um. Yes. That is. It’s my job. To talk. To people. The Reference desk is for asking questions.” Gavin cleared his throat, realizing he sounded like an idiot. “You don’t have to whisper. Librarians stopped shushing people in 2013.”
“Good to know.” He nodded at Chelsea. “I’ve been going to knitting club. I wanted to show Gavin my scarf.”
Chelsea moved closer as Jonathan opened his shopping bag and took out a smaller gift bag decorated with silver snowflakes. He pulled a tissue-wrapped package out of the bag and unwrapped it, revealing the scarf Jonathan had spent so much time on.
Gavin reached out with one hand and then stopped. This belonged to Jonathan’s aunt now. He might have had something to do with its making, but it was time to move on. Gavin could see the love written in every stitch, in how the double crochets formed perfect diamonds, and the colors wound into perfect stripes.
“It’s beautiful.” Gavin swallowed down the flood of emotion. That scarf meant the end of their time together, and he didn’t want to be the only one who hoped it also meant the start of something else.
“Thanks to you.” Jonathan’s cheeks went pink. He looked over at Chelsea again. “Gavin was really patient. I had never crocheted anything before.”
“He certainly is,” Chelsea agreed. She swiveled in her chair to face Gavin. “Maybe I should join the knitting club.”
“We’d be happy to have you.” Gavin gave her a tight smile. He turned back to Jonathan. “Your aunt will love it.”
“I hope so. I spent the last week in a mad rush finishing it. I was worried I wasn’t going to make it.” Jonathan carefully wrapped the scarf back up, running his fingers over the paper to get the wrinkles out.
Gavin itched to touch Jonathan’s hands the way he’d felt free to over the past few weeks. “But you did. You did a great job.”
“Thanks. Listen, I’m driving up today. There’s supposed to be some bad weather tonight, and I want to be safely home before it hits.”
Right, the blizzard warnings. Gavin doubted the predicted snow would actually show up. What were the odds of a white Christmas? “Oh. How long will you be there?”
“I have the week off. My boss said he’d rather I take vacation now instead of during tax season.” Jonathan laughed.
Jonathan would be gone. Until after Christmas. That was okay; Gavin had a lot of stuff going on himself. But he couldn’t help swallowing down a bit of sorrow that he wouldn’t see him again for so long. This was hardly the conversation he wished to have, but Gavin couldn’t say anything more personal with Chelsea sitting next to him, and he didn’t want to make things awkward by asking Jonathan to move somewhere more private.
Who was he kidding? He was a coward. If he kept putting off the more serious conversation, he wouldn’t have to risk Jonathan saying no.
“Knitting club starts back up next week, right? I’ll see you then?” Jonathan looked so hopeful.
“You’re coming back for more?” Gavin grinned. “We can start working on knitting next.”
“Great. I’ll talk to you later. I see Janice and Loretta over there, and I need to give them their gifts.” With that Jonathan disappeared, so quick it gave Gavin a bit of whiplash.
“Knitting club has certainly gotten a lot more interesting since the last time I went.” Chelsea picked up her stack of children’s books and began to sort them.
“Not really.” Gavin stared at his computer. He couldn’t answer any questions about Jonathan when he felt so raw inside. “Lots of knitting. Some crochet. Tons of yarn.”
“Mmm hmmm.”
Before either of them could continue, someone came up to the desk to report that the men’s bathroom had flooded. Again.
What was it about right before a holiday that brought out all the troublemakers? After dealing with the bathroom, Gavin had to chase two people in various forms of undress out of the stacks. (And really, that was gross. He knew exactly what kind of germs lived up there.) Then the internet went down, and he had to handle crowd control as dozens of people came up to the desk to ask when it would be back up.
The answer to that turned out to be an hour later. That started a new round of computer assignments and people demanding to have their lost time added back.
It wasn’t until nearly four that he had a moment to breathe. That’s when one of the afterschool regulars came up to the desk carrying a very familiar-looking gift bag.
“Hey, man. I found this on one of the couches. It looks kind of important.”
Gavin took the bag—Jonathan’s bag, with his aunt’s scarf inside. His heart jumped into his throat at the sight of it. “It is. Thank you.”
Crap. Jonathan must have left it behind after showing it off to knitting club friends. Gavin grabbed his phone and dialed, hoping he’d catch Jonathan before he’d gone too far. But he’d said he was leaving to avoid the weather and that had been hours ago. Jonathan might even already be at his aunt’s house. Still, Jonathan would want to know what had happened to the scarf. The call went straight to voicemail.
“What’s up?” Chelsea came over, her hands in latex gloves. What exactly had she been cleaning up in the children’s area?
“Jonathan left his gift here. He’s not picking up his phone.” Gavin tapped out a quick text, thinking maybe Jonathan was somewhere he couldn’t talk.
“Yeah, you still haven’t told me that story.”
“Take off your gloves and decontaminate, and maybe I will.” He frowned at his phone screen. Come on, Jonathan. Text me back.
Jonathan had come into the library with a much larger shopping bag. He probably didn’t even realize he’d forgotten something.
“You about ready to head to the hospital?” Miss Mabel seemed to come out of nowhere. She had dressed up, like she was going to church, in a pale pink suit and pearls, with a long gray coat over the entire ensemble. That woman had a sense of style.
Gavin smacked his forehead. “I forgot. Today was busy.” They were supposed to be taking the knitting club’s donations to the children’s hospital before Christmas. Mabel always liked to visit with the kids and hand out some of her more unique creations—teddy bears and snowmen she’d made out of yarn.
Her eyes narrowed at the gift bag on the Reference desk. “What are you doing with that?”
He let his phone drop to the desk. “Jonathan left it here when he came by earlier.”
Chelsea had returned from the back, sans gloves, in time to hear the end of the conversation. “What are you going to do about it?”
“I already called and texted, but he’s not answering.” Gavin really hoped nothing bad had happened. His fingers twitched, and he wanted to get at his computer and make sure there were no traffic accidents between here and Hawthorne.
“He wouldn’t have left that here,” Mabel pointed out. “It means too much to him.”
“I know.” Gavin ran a hand through his hair, starting to panic a bit. The only means of contact he had for Jonathan wasn’t working, and he didn’t know what to do.
“Do you have another phone number for him?” Chelsea slid in front of the Reference computer. “Let me look up his record.”
“Um.” Gavin cleared his throat. “I don’t think he ever did sign up for a library card.”
Chelsea paused in mid-type and tsked. “That’s the first rule of librarianship. Always sign them up for a library card.”
Mabel leaned over the desk. “You know what you have to do.”
He blinked at her. “Actually, no, I don’t.”
“You have to take the scarf to him,” Mabel insisted. “You have to save Christmas.”
“She’s right.”
“I don’t even know where his aunt lives,” Gavin said, as if that was the only thing stopping him. He still had no idea where he and Jonathan stood after that kiss, and he’d been too scared to bring it up earlier. “Besides, we have to drive the donations over to the hospital.”
“I can take care of the donations.” Chelsea’s fingers danced across the keyboard again as she pulled up one of the specialized library databases. “And we can find his aunt with enough information. What’s her name?”
Gavin leaned over and stared at the screen. “His last name is Mercier, and her first name is Linda. And she lives in Hawthorne.”
He had to hope Jonathan had the same last name as his aunt and that said last name was fairly unique. They got lucky. Chelsea completed the advanced search, and they came up with one exact hit on that name in Hawthorne.
“Of course her phone number is unlisted.” Chelsea let out a snort. “I can find her street address, but heaven forbid I try to call her.”
“See, you have to go,” Mabel said.
“You both are enablers,” Gavin muttered. He went off the clock at five and without knitting club wouldn’t be here late tonight.
He couldn’t seriously be considering this? Yet, somehow he was.
“You should leave soon,” Chelsea said quietly, another window open on the computer, this time with the weather report up. Snow was moving in, and soon the roads would be impassable.
Gavin cared about Jonathan. Imagining the kind of distress he’d be in once he realized the scarf was missing—it would be tragic, those large eyes wet with sadness. Gavin couldn’t do that to him. Not if he wanted to see if this thing between them could turn into something more. Gavin had to return the scarf. There was no other option.
“All right.” He swallowed and picked up the gift bag. “Chelsea, print the address out. I have a trip to take.”
He didn’t miss the satisfied look Mabel threw his way.
***
JONATHAN SETTLED ONTO the couch, sinking into the comfort of the well-worn cushions. The scent of dinner still lingered in the air, even as his aunt worked on putting the dishes in the dishwasher. He’d offered to help—he hadn’t become lazy once he’d left home—but she shooed him away.
“You’re tired. You can do the dishes tomorrow.”
And he was. Bone tired from the drive that took much longer than it needed to in holiday traffic. The day before Christmas Eve had everyone on the roads. Thank God he made it here before the snow started. He could see the giant white chunks of it through the window.
He had to find something Christmassy to watch. The atmosphere was too good. Jonathan picked up the remote and flipped through channels. If he got desperate, he could raid Aunt Linda’s DVD collection. Although they usually didn’t start the marathon of holiday movies until Christmas Eve.
It felt odd to be here on a Monday night and not at knitting club. December had been spent at the library. His fingers itched for his crochet hook and yarn.
Thinking about crocheting made him miss Gavin. Jonathan squeezed the remote. He’d screwed that up so bad. He should have expressed his feelings to Gavin, more than “I’ll see you at knitting club,” but he’d lost his courage once he saw Gavin wasn’t alone at the Reference desk.
He’d told himself it was because he didn’t want to get Gavin in trouble. The reality was that he’d chickened out. He’d wanted to ask Gavin out for coffee, or dinner, or a real date.
Next week. He’d walk into knitting club and just do it. No more screwing around, no more being afraid. It was time to change, and he could think of no better time to do it. New Year’s was right around the corner, and his first resolution would be to make the next move and not wait.
Headlights flashed through the windows as someone pulled into the driveway, the light glinting off the snow to create a gorgeous glow. Jonathan dropped the remote and made for the door. Who was driving in this weather? Maybe the mailman?
Jonathan opened the door and stopped in his tracks when he recognized the red Mazda. A familiar form walked up the path, huddled against the freezing snow, blond head down against the wind. Gavin.
Christmas had come early.
Gavin stepped onto the front porch and looked up, his mouth forming an O as he realized Jonathan stood in the doorway waiting. Jonathan didn’t let him speak. No, he did what he’d wanted to do in the library that morning. He stepped forward and kissed Gavin, one arm wrapped around his neck, the other grasping his shoulder. He tasted like the snow, pure and icy cold, but he warmed as Jonathan deepened the kiss.
“What are you doing here?” Jonathan pulled away but kept his hands on Gavin, unwilling to lose the physical connection. “How are you here?” He’d never given Gavin his home address.
Gavin ducked his head. “You didn’t answer your phone.”
The snow continued to fall around them, making piles on the porch and catching the light from inside the house. It was almost like being inside a snow globe.
“I dropped it on the driveway when I got home. Shattered the screen.” Jonathan stepped back and pushed his snow-damp hair out of his eyes. “Come inside. You must be freezing.”
“I was worried when you didn’t answer.” Gavin followed Jonathan inside, stomping his feet on the welcome mat before entering the living room. His cheeks were pink, and the tip of his nose had turned red.
For a moment Jonathan feared what Gavin would make of his childhood home. The worn brown carpet, patched couch, and walls of knickknacks screamed home to Jonathan. It was comfortable, well-lived in, and every inch of his life could be seen around this room. The glass case along the opposite wall held all the gifts he’d ever made for Aunt Linda, including the Popsicle stick sculpture. In the corner sat their Christmas tree lit with tiny white lights and decorated with golden ribbons.
When he glanced back, he met Gavin’s eyes. Jonathan couldn’t interpret the expression on his face. And Gavin still hadn’t explained what the heck he was doing here.
Aunt Linda came out of the kitchen, drying her hands on a white dishrag. “I see we have a guest?”
He could hear her unspoken words—during a blizzard? “Aunt Linda, this is Gavin. Gavin, this is my aunt.”
She smiled. “So you’re Gavin. Jonathan hasn’t stopped talking about you since he got home.”
Jonathan’s face heated. He ducked his head and tried to step away, but Gavin tangled their fingers together.
“What a coincidence. I can’t stop thinking about him.” Gavin grinned at Jonathan. “And he speaks fondly of you.”
“While I’m glad to meet you, I am curious why you drove all the way up here during a blizzard.” She cocked her head to one side, her long gray-and-brown braid slipping off her shoulder.
Gavin pressed his lips tight. “Well, you see, Jonathan left a special gift behind at the library.”
“I didn’t!” Jonathan knew very well that he’d carried in his shopping bag from the car. He’d shattered his phone right after. Utter horror struck him. Did he put the gift bag back inside after showing it to the girls? Apparently not.
“You did. Luckily someone brought it to the lost-and-found. And when you didn’t answer your phone...well, I didn’t want it to ruin your Christmas.” Gavin looked away. “It’s in the car. I can bring it in.”
Jonathan squeezed his hand, too overwhelmed to say anything.
Aunt Linda stepped in. “That’s awfully sweet of you. Are you hungry? I just wrapped up dinner. Would you like some leftovers?”
Gavin unzipped his winter coat. “That would be lovely. I didn’t get a chance to eat before I left.”
“Of course. And you’ll be staying the night. No arguments. I’m not sending you back out in that weather.” Aunt Linda speared Gavin with a glare all too familiar to Jonathan, the one that said she was right and he’d better listen.
“Thank you, ma’am.”
***
GAVIN EXPECTED IT TO be awkward, sitting around the Mercier kitchen table while he wolfed down dinner, but instead, it felt comfortable. The drive had taken two hours, and his stomach had gurgled the last half hour. Linda dished him up a plate of roasted chicken, potatoes, and green beans, but it could have been leftover pizza for all Gavin tasted. Guilt settled in his belly at the thought of not appreciating her hard work.
Their kitchen looked about as well-lived in as the rest of the house. The fridge was covered in magnets and handwritten notes on brightly colored paper. Beside it hung a collection of potholders made out of patchwork fabric. Perhaps those had been gifts from Jonathan as well. Linda hummed as she leaned against the dark wood cabinets, drying tall glass tumblers with a fuzzy dishcloth.
Jonathan sat across from Gavin, tearing a napkin into shreds. “I still can’t believe you came all the way up here. How did you find our address?”
“Secret librarian powers.” Gavin held a finger to his nose, as if he were Santa Claus telling kids to keep his secret.
Linda laughed. “My guess is the phone book.”
“You have an unlisted number,” Gavin accused. But when he looked over at a smiling Jonathan, he knew the entire white-knuckled drive had been worth it. “I had to use library magic.”
“Aunt Linda, you’re ruining the mystery,” Jonathan teased. Gavin loved seeing this side of him, so relaxed in his childhood home.
“All right. I suppose eight reindeer guided your red car through the blizzard?” She winked and put away the tumbler she’d been drying.
“I was given directions by a snowman in a black top hat,” Gavin deadpanned.
Jonathan groaned. “Okay, how many other holiday references can you work in? You had to dodge Jack Frost and you passed three smart-looking guys following a star.”
“And at some point there were giant wooden soldiers marching along the highway,” Linda added.
When Gavin looked at her blankly, she gasped at him. “You haven’t seen March of the Wooden Soldiers? Jonathan, I think I know what we’re doing tomorrow.”
“Of course. In the original black-and-white too?”
“I’ll set up the VCR,” she said.
Gavin thought his library had old-fashioned technology. Normally, he’d Google the movie they were talking about, but they seemed so keen on showing it to him. He found himself looking forward to it. “Sounds like a plan.”
He helped clean up—it was only fair since the dishwasher was already running when he started eating. Linda said she was going to watch some TV in her room and then head to bed. “Have a good night, boys.”
Gavin let Jonathan lead him up the stairs to his bedroom. “There are two bedrooms up here,” Jonathan said. “Mine and the guestroom. I’d like to show you my room.” One hand on the golden doorknob, he glanced back at Gavin with a sly smile, his eyes sparkling.
He’d never seen Jonathan’s face like that. There hadn’t been the opportunity, since this was the first time he had Jonathan all to himself. Gavin heated from the inside, his body reacting to that seductive gaze.
“I’ve lived here since I was ten.” Jonathan pushed the door open and let Gavin go in first.
He swallowed and stepped inside. Gavin needed to calm down. He knew what he wanted from Jonathan, and that included getting to know him better, understanding who he was beyond the shy smiles and crochet hook.
Gavin looked around Jonathan’s childhood bedroom, eager for all he could learn. It didn’t resemble a kid’s room, thankfully. A double bed sat in the center flanked by a solid wood chest and a bookshelf filled with books and papers. When he got closer, he saw they were study guides for the CPA exam along with tattered old science fiction paperbacks. All this seemed normal, what he’d expect to find in Jonathan’s room. The walls, however, were stunning, covered with framed pieces of colorful art. He marveled at one—a gorgeous landscape of a beach with an ocean wave captured in mid-crash. Gavin could all but smell the salt air and feel the splash of the water as he reached a hand toward the rich blue.
“My aunt Linda painted it. She painted all of them. Christmas gifts for me. That beach scene is from the last vacation I went on with my parents.”
Gavin swallowed the sadness that image brought him. Instead, he focused on the beauty of the art. “Wow. She’s amazingly talented.”
“She is.” Jonathan sat on the bed and curled his fingers into the navy-blue cover. He ducked his head and shuffled his feet on the dark-gray carpeting.
Gavin had to know something before he gave in to the desire to join Jonathan. “Why didn’t you call me? After that kiss... Well. I didn’t know what to think.”
Was it meant as a thank you? As the start of something more? He didn’t want to presume, and now Gavin thought he’d made a terrible mistake in not presuming.
Jonathan leaned over the edge of the bed and folded his hands between his knees. “You might not have noticed this about me, but I’m a little shy.”
They both laughed. Gavin sat next to Jonathan, put his hand on his shoulder, and squeezed.
“I used up all my courage in kissing you. And then I couldn’t talk when I saw you with your coworker.” He pressed his cheek against Gavin’s hand. “Why didn’t you call?”
Gavin swallowed. “I didn’t think it was appropriate. I mean, you were depending on me teaching you to crochet and I guess...” he took a deep breath, “...I’m still messed up after my last relationship. I didn’t want to see something that wasn’t there.”
“But you saw enough to come all the way here in a snowstorm. I should have called you. I should have said something sooner. I’m such an idiot.”
“Hey, don’t do that.” Gavin took Jonathan’s chin, tilting his face up. “It was my choice.” Along with some prodding from Mabel and Chelsea, but honestly, Gavin hadn’t needed much of it. It was time to move on toward something more. “I’m so glad I got to meet your aunt and see your childhood home and learn more about you. Because, Jonathan, I definitely want to learn more about you.”
He leaned in for a kiss, and though it started chaste and sweet, Jonathan opened his mouth, and it turned hot and dirty. Gavin slipped his hand beneath Jonathan’s shirt, delighting in the feel of warm skin as they fell onto the bed, legs entangled and lips nibbling.
“I’ve never brought anyone up here before.” Jonathan nipped at Gavin’s chin.
“Never? I’m honored.” And he was. Gavin would do his best to be worthy of that. “How quiet do I have to be?” They couldn’t forget Jonathan’s aunt right downstairs.
Jonathan laughed in response. “I thought librarians knew how to whisper.”
“I think I like this side of you.”
Undressing Jonathan was like unwrapping his own special Christmas present. Gavin pulled off the fuzzy sweater, revealing smooth pale skin. He charted the undiscovered territory with his fingers, delighting in the way Jonathan squirmed and moaned beneath him. He was beautiful, so sensitive and passionate.
“Is this okay?” Gavin asked when he reached the buckle of Jonathan’s jeans.
“Yes. More than okay. Please.”
He held his breath as he revealed Jonathan’s cock, which was hard and long and begging to be touched. No, tasted. Gavin desperately wanted to taste. And so he did, one gentle lick, to see how Jonathan responded.
And respond he did—his hips shot off the bed, and his entire body shuddered as he stared at Gavin with wide eyes. “Yeah, do that again.”
Gavin didn’t have to be told twice.
Oddly enough, he tasted of mint, even here. It had to be some kind of body soap or something. Gavin couldn’t help enjoying it, taking his time, marking every single moan and shiver. When he brought Jonathan off with his hand, it seemed like hours had passed.
And he was desperately hard against his jeans.
“Here.” Jonathan, out of breath and still with his pants wrapped around one leg, handed over a box of tissues.
Gavin didn’t have much time to clean up, because it didn’t take Jonathan long to pounce. Now he was on the bottom, looking up into those dark eyes with their ridiculously full eyelashes. Jonathan kissed him, again and again, straddling Gavin’s hips and making him absolutely mad.
Finally, Jonathan sat back far enough to unzip Gavin’s pants. His hands felt like fire on Gavin’s already oversensitive prick. It didn’t take more than a stroke or two, because he was so desperate and horny from getting Jonathan off. He bit his fist to keep from crying out, but Gavin wanted to scream from the pleasure of it.
“Stay right here.” Jonathan planted a kiss on Gavin’s chin before returning with a warm washcloth.
Gavin felt like he was floating on a cloud of post-coital euphoria. “Merry Christmas,” he whispered.
Jonathan laughed and pulled the covers over Gavin’s bare legs. “Sleep with me in here tonight? I mean, unless you want to go the guestroom.”
Gavin tugged Jonathan down until he was tucked against Gavin’s shoulder. “Nope. Right here. It’s all good.”
He fell into a deep sleep, content.
***
“DOES THIS MEAN YOU’RE going to miss Christmas with your family?”
Daylight was streaming through the large window in Jonathan’s room, strips of light playing over the covers of the bed. Gavin wiped sleep out of his eyes and leaned over to kiss Jonathan before answering.
“If the snow stopped, there’s a good chance I’ll be able to make it for Christmas Day at least. Besides, they won’t miss me. I have plenty of other siblings to cause chaos.”
He didn’t want to think about his family. Gavin wanted to lie here and enjoy this moment with Jonathan. They’d started something, fragile and blossoming like a bloom in the snow. He couldn’t predict the future, but Gavin hoped for far more than one night together. Real life would intrude soon enough, and he’d rather wallow in this space where nothing could touch them.
“I wanted to make you something for Christmas. I think I’m pretty good at scarves now. Or do you need a hat?” Jonathan stroked his fingers through Gavin’s hair.
Gavin grinned and leaned into the touch. “I can teach you how to make one next week.” Maybe he’d make something for Jonathan in return. A sweater in a dark shade of green, and certainly not made out of wool.
Jonathan slipped out of bed, pulled on his boxers, and went over to the window, sitting on the edge, the light framing him so he glowed around the edges. “We’re going to have a white Christmas. It’s absolutely beautiful.”
Gavin propped himself on one elbow, memorizing the profile of Jonathan’s face, the sunlight turning his hair into flame, and said, “Yeah, absolutely beautiful.”