If you read this book because you discovered that someone near and dear to you has been harming herself, you probably have been feeling worried, frustrated, angry, and maybe guilty, frightened, and confused. Surely you’ve said to yourself, “This is crazy. Why would anyone do this to herself?” I hope this book has cleared up some of those feelings and helped to answer your question. The person may even be angry with you for your new understanding of her pain. This will pass.
If you read this book because you are horrified by and curious about this kind of behavior, I hope you are now able to see the person beyond the behavior and understand that this is a curable disorder.
At one time or another in our lives, we have all experienced feelings or thoughts that have frightened us. Forgetting about them only invites further self-doubt. Instead, explore them.
For those of you who have read this book because you suffer from this malady, either by itself or accompanied by other kinds of impairing pain, you have the most difficult task ahead. You have a new language to learn, that of self-expression and reflection. In addition, you will have to take a risk that feels like free fall: first, the unfamiliar feelings, which are often painful, when forming words out of these feelings; and then finding someone who can help you, and entrusting them with your most private thoughts and feelings. The language of cutting, writing with your own blood as the ink, a blade as the pen, must be relinquished, replaced by words, spoken to that trusted person. Until now, your privacy and your secrecy have been your best friends. You will need to exchange them for one new friend, followed by others.