For the next four blocks, we played a weird game of tag, where Kenneth kind of jogged beside me, then fell back. Then I stopped and waited. And he stopped and waited.
Then I walked really fast and he walked slowly but with strides long enough to keep pace with me.
Then I heard him say, “Dammit,” and he just kind of strode up to me and pulled me over like a cop.
“Can I talk to you please?”
It would have been easier to say no if he hadn’t asked nicely. Maybe I was just sick of fighting.
“Fine. We’ll parkette.” I pointed at a nearby city-groomed grassy knoll with two benches.
Kenneth nodded.
I walked to the first bench and dropped down into it. “What do you want?”
Kenneth stood for a bit, then sat down on the bench across from me. He kept looking at his boots. “First I’m just thinking,” he said finally, still slowly, like a cowboy in a movie, “uh, that maybe you’re some sort of crazy person.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Can’t think of a sane reason for you to pop in on a service like that,” he said, running his hand over his short hair.
“It’s a free country,” I said.
Kenneth looked up. “I know it.”
“Oh yeah?” I shot. “I’m sure you do. Let me tell you something about this free country. It doesn’t mean you get to be a jerk and tell people their families are going to hell.”
“Well”—Kenneth sat into the bench, like he was in a rocking chair on a porch in some Southern state—“technically, it does.”
I stood up to leave or yell something. Who was this guy, anyway? Talking to me about freedom of speech?
Kenneth shook his head. “Hey. Sorry I said that. Just relax, okay? I’m sorry.” He held up his hands, like someone showing he wasn’t holding a weapon.
I dropped back down on the bench. “Uh, just so you know, so I’m not wasting your time, if you’re trying to convert me, it’s not going to happen.”
“I don’t think you need to be converted,” Kenneth said. “Though it’s strange you would show up at a place set for preaching when you don’t want to be converted.”
I thought about the empty chairs. It was like doing math with half an abacus. “Were you there?”
“I was waiting in the back for my ride home,” he said, pulling a small paperback from his pocket and shaking it. “Reading.”
“Reading. Really.” I squinted at the book. The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin. Huh. “Science fiction?”
Kenneth shoved the book back in his pocket. “That’s hard to believe?”
Every word fell with the weight of a chess piece between us.
“No. I just. Wait. So, if you don’t care about converting and all that stuff, why did you…” My brain felt fuzzy, like I’d been time traveling all night and it was all Swiss cheese. “Why did you point me out to him at school?”
“My dad? I was pointing him to the door.” Kenneth stamped hard on the ground, like he was trying to shake dust off his feet. “He promised me he wouldn’t come by the school, and he broke his promise, as usual.”
I bit my lip. “Oh. I just thought.”
“I know what you thought.” Kenneth frowned. “Look. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. Even though you snapped at me. I just, with the ‘preacher’ thing. People have been calling me that since…” Kenneth waved the words away. “I say it a million times, and it doesn’t matter, because no one listens. I am his son. Yes. But I’m not like him.”
A car roared by.
“You don’t believe in God? And Jesus? All of that?” I asked.
“A person can believe in God and Jesus Christ, can be a Christian, and not be like my father,” he said.
“You don’t want to be a good Christian?”
I could feel the cold of the night against the hot of my cheek.
“I don’t know about that. I’ve met a lot of people calling themselves good Christians.” He shook his head. “I’m not so sure about that.” Kenneth looked up at the sky. Which I thought for a second was him praying.
You look down when you pray? I wondered.
I could see his breath a little against the night sky.
Then, with sudden momentum, like a kite string unraveling upward, he started speaking. “I want to talk to you about this, you know? And make you understand. Because. Because I know you see me and you think you know everything about me, but you don’t. You see a preacher’s son and you think that you know … But it’s not like that. He does what he thinks he has to do, but I don’t agree with it.”
Kenneth popped out of his seat. “How about I don’t like dropping into town after town and papering the place like we’re getting ready for a garage sale?” he said, slapping his hand into his open palm. He started pacing, walking a circle around the bench. “How about I don’t like calling stuff sin and saying people will go to hell? I don’t think it’s right. And I’ve studied the Bible my whole life just like he has. I don’t see that the Bible says you have to do all this and break in on other peoples’ lives and…”
Finishing his circle, Kenneth sank back into his bench. “I don’t think that’s what we’re supposed to do. I don’t think that’s being a good Christian, to answer your question.”
I could feel the bench cold pushing up against my butt. Something about all this was making me feel like there was suddenly less oxygen in the world. Or too much.
Kenneth brushed his hand over his head again. “My father … There’s so much he’ll never see, and that’s all there is to it. I just want … I just want to finish school and get out of here and go live my life somewhere.”
Kenneth sighed.
Wow, I thought. The statue speaks.
“I’m just going on and on now,” he said, sitting up and rubbing his thumb on his thigh.
“Yeah,” I said. “I mean. Uh, thanks? I guess. I mean, I think … I know what you mean.”
“I don’t like talking much,” he offered. “So I usually don’t. Maybe none of that made any sense.”
“I think it made sense,” I said, crossing my arms to keep warm.
Kenneth leaned forward. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Looking at him, still and for longer than I’d looked at the front of him up until now, I noticed Kenneth’s face was freckled. Around his neck, I could see now, up close, a little coin with an eye on it.
“Nice eye,” I said.
“Huh. It’s, uh, for protection.” Kenneth picked up the coin between his fingers and looked down at it. “Ordered it on the Internet,” he added.
What are the odds?
Holding his hand out, Kenneth stammered, “Also. I. I just wanted to say. I didn’t know, you know. I didn’t know about your mothers. Even today. Until Naoki told me. Today. But just. She told me after we had our fight. To explain to me. A little of why you might be mad. I don’t have any problem with that stuff. I just wanted you to know, that I didn’t know until today and … I mean, it’s fine by me.”
“Oh.” So Naoki was defending me? Maybe? For some stupid reason I suddenly wanted to cry.
“Thanks,” I said. “I’m sorry. For yelling at you today.”
How pointless is “I’m sorry” sometimes? I wasn’t even 100 percent sure what I was sorry for. Or even if I was saying it to the right person.
“Forget it.” Kenneth got off the bench. Took a step. “I should go. My ride is probably leaving soon.”
“Um. Yeah. Me too. I mean, I should go.” I stood. Took a step. Felt small under the night sky.
I looked at Kenneth standing there in the park. The new kid. In a weird, new little town.
“So,” I said. “I’m not sure if Naoki told you, but, I have this, uh, we have this club…”
“Oh yeah.” Kenneth looked at the ground.
“It’s not like a regular school club,” I said, shoving my hands in my pockets. “It’s like a talk-about-cool-stuff … group. Like ESP, and ghosts, and sometimes if Thomas is in a mood we just talk about our horoscopes. You know. Like unexplained stuff. It’s no big deal. I just thought maybe you could drop by.”
Kenneth paused and looked down at his boots. “You guys talk about trepanation?”
“What’s that?”
“You don’t know?” Kenneth raised an eyebrow. “Should look it up.”
“Oh yeah?”
My phone gave a weak buzz. It was nearly out of power. Fifteen percent. Enough for me to see twenty messages.
Twenty “Monty, where are you?” messages.
“Geez. I really gotta go,” I said. Taking a step toward home, I turned. “This is going to sound dumb,” I added, “but I’m glad we got to, you know, talk. Even if it’s not something you like doing.”
“Yeah.” Kenneth’s lips folded up into a small smile. “Well, maybe we’ll do it again.”
“Maybe,” I said, turning and breaking into a run. “Bye.”