CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

FUTURE

I woke up on the floor of my hotel room with a 2L bottle of Coca - Cola emptying itself all over my chest. I put my hand down to push myself up and gashed it open on broken glass. A quick glance around revealed that this was not doubt the glass that was supposed to be receiving the Coca – Cola. The refrigerator door was ajar where I had taken out the Coca - Cola just two minutes ago. I brushed the broken glass aside and pushed myself up and stood up wondering what had happened.

I woke up on the floor of my hotel room with a 2L bottle of Coca - Cola emptying its self all over my chest. An instinct told me not to push myself up with my hand and a faint sense of de-ja-vu wafted around my head. Sure enough, a quick glance around revealed the broken glass on the floor. I brushed the broken glass aside and pushed myself up and stood up wondering what had happened.

I woke up on the floor of my hotel room with a 2L bottle of Coca - Cola emptying its self all over my chest. The de-ja-vu was now replaced with a fear that made me think I’d truly entered the twilight zone; there was no doubt in my mind that this was not the first time I had awoken here in confusion.

Something was seriously wrong.

I appeared to be having a problem combining verticality and consciousness - but there was no transition, no wooziness, no “I think I’m going to faint.” It was just someone pulling the 415V 3phz supply to the entire system - no warning, no sign it was going to happen just - NOTHING. Then life again.

I crawled across the floor to the bed and lay down staring at the now empty Coca - Cola bottle on the floor and the broken glass.

When I had to move out of the now hated luxury apartment under threat of bailiffs, I had decided to stay in a cheap “Working” hotel in a nearby village. It’s a converted communist office block done to remarkably high standards and only charging a true pittance. Bulgaria is too small a country to sustain branches of companies in every city - the economy is just too small. But the trades are still needed, so the solution is that a company will have a head office and enough labor to do the work on hand. But it means they will need accommodation for maybe a dozen workers in a given city for 3 weeks. They then move onto another job in another city so there is the need for these “Working” hotels - they are simply ridiculous value for the money. A clean good quality modern room with everything you need is as little as $5 a night.

My initial intention had been to stay only until I had found an apartment, but I enjoyed staying there so much I had never even bothered looking for an apartment. There was a shop in the village which offered the delight of a 22-year-old beautiful assistant with the most amazing eyes I had ever seen.

There are several extremely rare eye colors in Bulgaria and this was the bluest of the Ultra Blues. These eyes were Hyper Blue! They seemed to be backed by blue LED’s and lit from within. They looked in real life like those over photoshopped glamour shots on the front of glossy magazine covers. My very first words to this girl were “Your eyes are AMAZING!” The other thing amazing about the girl was just how easily and freely she laughed and smiled - one of those girls that make you glad to be alive. The village was topped off with a small eatery that served a hearty meal for $1 or $1.50 if you added a beer.

My room was cleaned for me daily, they did my washing for me, the allowed my dog in the room, there was free WiFi, cable TV, why leave? So, I hadn’t.

The problem was now, at this moment I HAD to leave, as in my life just may depend on it - I couldn’t. In fact, I couldn’t even get up to leave the room; so, I lay there with my dog sniffing my nose with its wet cold nose and refusing to stop trying to lick my face. I sat up to move away from the dog lick and woke up slumped half off the bed. Apparently, this issue was getting worse. I didn’t have the faintest idea what it could be. I HAD been drinking - but normal sensible, non-dangerous levels of alcohol.

What is wrong with me? I wondered pushing the persistent dog away.

Suddenly a high-pressure, internal sewage pipe ruptured and a huge grenade of vomit shot out from my mouth.

One of the most annoying things that happen when I’m sick is that I don’t get that “Oh – I’m going to be sick” that everyone else gets. I go from A-OK to violently discharging vomit with no transitional phase - I have replaced a LOT of mattresses, duvets and associated bedding in my life and spend A LOT on carpet cleaning. I think 3 years is the longest a mattress has ever lasted me. Even if I felt sick in the evening and placed a bucket by the bed, I would never make it to the bucket let alone the bathroom. There have been times if my face is at the edge of the bed pointing at the bucket, with the bucket at an estimated appropriate distance from the bed that and hope it catches some of the output but mostly its pointless.

I knew I needed to go to hospital but again I had a problem - I could not stand to walk to reception to get them to call an ambulance. This grim situation lasted a day and a half – with me trying to get up, failing, passing out and waking up in pools of vomit later.

There was only one thing for me to do. It was undignified but life threateningly necessary. I slithered like a snake across the broken glass, out the door, crawling on my belly. I crawled like a toddler, on my hands and knees down the hall to the reception area. I was exhausted and in pain by the time I got there but proudly looked up, ready to beg them to call an ambulance and - it was unmanned!?!?!?

There were workmen outside waiting for the mini bus to pick them up and take them to work, I crawled outside. The two guys there were two of the biggest, roughest looking men I have ever seen in my life, I’m talking 6’8” and 300lb. Under any other circumstances on earth I would have gone straight back inside and avoided them completely - but I was desperate, I shouted over to them for help and they immediately rushed over as I blacked out again. They were on the phone calling an ambulance when I woke up and they asked in very broken English what was wrong? I said I had NO idea but I was constantly blacking out, I could not even sit up.

They had a quick discussion between themselves and one ran off into the hotel - the ground I was laying on shook under his weight as he thundered by. His friend reached down and picked me up, turned me over and laid me on my back as easily as I were a rag doll - if not easier. The other guy returned with a huge bottle of iced water and proceeded to pour it over my head, my feet and my hands. He kept pouring until it was empty and then went back inside for another and did the same. They kept this relay up for half an hour before telephoning the ambulance to see where it was and shout at them to be quicker.

The mini bus arrived to take them to work and they told the driver they would get a taxi to work later - this was not something they could really afford but they refused to move despite the cajoling. The stream of water keeping me conscious never stopped and at the one hour mark the ambulance finally arrived. They put one hand each under my arms and lifted me straight to vertical - the icing had thankfully kept me awake and they walked to the ambulance as if carrying a kitten. One of them took me arm under shoulders and arm under knees style, carrying me like a baby, into the ambulance and lay me on the bed.

The paramedic asked for my passport - it was at the hotel reception – the huge guy picked me back up and walked with me cradled in his arms to the reception where the receptionist now stood. We got my passport and back to the ambulance where he lay me gently on the bed.

When he left the ambulance, it lifted a full 5” Like when John Cotton get out of the prison van in Green Mile.

It was the first genuine human affection I had experienced in 3 and 1/2 years. These two truly giant, rough, simply terrifying men had cared more for me as a total stranger than Angel had as the love of my life for 3 full years. They had cared for me like I was their new born baby.

The paramedics worked out in the ambulance that it was massively high blood sugar and gave me insulin. INSTANTLY I was 1000% better, I was conscious for a start. I was processed at the hospital and placed in a special Diabetes ward but not before the full battery of X-Ray, MRI, Ultrasound, Full Blood Workup had been done. I have no idea the number of MRI units it must take at the city hospital to keep on top of demand - in Bulgaria a doctor will use an MRI daily to check your progress as readily as a UK doctor will use a thermometer.

I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, the result of the previous massive Pancreatitis attack. My ingestion of very large volumes of Coca - Cola in response to the 100ºF temperatures had sent my blood sugar to catastrophic levels.

They stabilized my condition over 4 days and then kept me in for a further 6 days titrating the insulin levels needed to accurately cope with the Diabetes - a process that would have been done at home in the UK with multiple of annoying trips to the doctor for morning, noon and night Blood Sugar checks.

I was discharged and returned to the hotel. As the taxi pulled up the two cleaning ladies shot out to the taxi and hugged and hugged me asking over and over if I was ok?? What had been the problem?? I explained I was diabetic as they rushed me to my room. They swung the door open exposing an entirely pristine freshness.

There was a sign in the reception area making it clear that if you trashed a room they would call contract cleaners and you were going to be billed $100 dollars. But here they were smiling at me, showing me that they had taken care of the awful mess that had been inside. They pulled me down to the basement to the laundry room; my bedding was neatly folded on the table, next to it were ALL my clothes washed and ironed. Even the throw that I used to stop the bed getting messed up if the dog jumped on it while I was out - was there neatly folded. It took several trips to take it all to my room, I was crying – a flood of grateful tears. They had NO reason to do ANY of this, they weren’t even obligated to clean the room!

They pulled me to reception and handed me a note - it was from the owner of the hotel telling me if I was short of money because of being in hospital not to worry about the bill, he would wait a month for it.

My journey continued accompanied by the words “Kuchito Bow Bow” or Dog Bow Bow in English. I was taken down the carpark to the factory at the end where they make PVC window units. The giant roller door was up and I could see Truffle - she knew I was on my way and was going insane! They explained that she was miserable in the room crying all the time so they had talked to the guys at the factory and she had spent 8 days there having the time of her life and being spoiled - she was visibly FATTER!!

The factory guys all came to see me and asked how I was, told me how much fun they had had with Truffle - they had WASHED her twice which accounted for the pearly whiteness of her white bits. She must have had a REALLY good time at the factory as she had to be dragged back to the hotel room.

I lay on the pristine bed crying at the unbelievable humanity and kindness that a dozen strangers had shown me, I could not believe it. I SERIOUSLY COULD NOT BELIEVE IT. I had come to think that humanity possessed no kindness; I had only seen torture for 42 months.

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