| |
The vessel, called Galician, was a sailing boat. When they set sail, Barbara told Vidal that she was seasick and asked to be excused. She wanted to lie down in her cabin.
"Do you want me to accompany you?"
"No, it is not necessary. I will try to rest a little. Maybe the swaying will help my nausea even though it is the cause of it."
"I will take you to the room and then I will take a stroll around the ship."
When she found herself alone in her cabin, Barbara locked the door. She couldn't contain her excitement and hurriedly opened the letter from her mother.
"Dear daughter. I hope you are well. When you read this letter, I will already be buried. It is destiny and there is nothing we can do about it.
I would just like you to know that I have loved you since the day you opened your eyes. I did what I did so you could have a chance at a better life than mine.
Jonas must have told you by now how I was taken by a group of gypsies when I was a child. I remember my family vaguely, my mother, a man who I think must have been my father and two children who I played often with. Maybe my brothers. I have these images in my mind but they seem more like dreams now.
We wandered all over Europe. I don't know where I'm from. They started to call me Dalila and I got used to the name, my real name I don't remember anymore.
Life was very hard. We always had to move on when those around us started to notice the thieving. When we arrived at a city, I and the other children were made to beg on the streets. The oldest ones also begged and read palms in exchange for a few coins. We often had to go hungry.
As an adult, I was taken by one of the leaders of our community during a night of drinking. I let him have his way to avoid being beaten. When I realized I was pregnant, I ran away. I didn't want my child to have the same life.
When Jonas came to me and convinced me to give you to Master Leonardo, I thought I was doing the best thing for you. But I was wrong. I noticed with time that Leonardo was not what he seemed. Leonardo was constantly threatening Jonas about telling others of his true nature. This is the reason for Jonas' dogged loyalty towards Leonardo and the reason why I hate your adoptive father.
Forgive Jonas for whatever he may have to do that is not to your liking. He is in the hands of that horrid man. Always has been. I didn't know at the time. If I had known, I would have run away again with you.
But thank God at least I was able to see you a grow a little. Not the way I wanted. I wanted to be closer, but that was not possible. And now the sickness. I do not have much time; my fingers have already blackened.
I just want you to remember these words: if life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Be happy, Barbara. Be what I was never able to be.
I have always loved you, daughter.
Your mother, Dalila."
Barbara tried to hold back her tears but it was useless. She read the letter over again. She kissed it. A tear ran down her face and dropped onto the paper, making a splotch on the written words. She lifted the splotched part to a candle and saw hidden writing. Words began to emerge where the candle shone its light. There was another letter within this one.
Now she understood the strange reference to lemons. The quote was about lemons, and their juice. Dalila had written a secret letter using lemon juice. The writing appeared only when heated and disappeared again at room temperature.
Barbara looked for a paper and pencil among her things. She heated up the letter piece by piece and copied out Dalila's words.
"Daughter, this information is only for you. I know that Jonas will read the letter when I am gone. There are things that he does not know, nor should he know.
After a night of celebration, I waited for everyone to fall asleep. I grabbed a knife and looked for your father. When I found him sleeping in a corner, I covered his mouth and stabbed him in the heart. The pig didn't even open his eyes. After that, I ran away. This is why I never tried to find your father. He is no longer among the living. But I know that we must have been cursed by those unholy people.
When you were born, I read the Tarot cards for you. If you take the left path, you will bring disgrace and death to yourself and everyone around you. An abyss will open in your life that will drag you down. Take the path to the right, forgive and be merciful. You may save your soul if you take this course of action.
Dalila, your mother who adores you above all else."
Barbara, folded the original letter and stored it away. She ripped up the copy she made. She thought it was sweet irony that Dalila had become a fortune-telling gypsy. She didn't care if her words were true or not, she simply didn't care. She left the room and returned to the deck. She wanted to take some sun.
––––––––
A few days later, Barbara decided to tell Vidal a few things. He was her husband after all and he should know everything so he could help her. She needed to convince him to follow her, no matter what direction she had taken.
After a night of lovemaking, Barbara woke him up.
"Vidal, we need to talk."
"Now? Let me sleep a little bit more."
"No, it has to be now. We are arriving at Southampton. I need to tell you a few things."
Vidal yawned, scratched his forehead and sat up on the bed.
"Well, since you are intent on not letting me sleep, go on then. Don't you prefer to eat something first?"
"No, I am decided."
"Go on then."
Barbara told her story to Vidal. How when she was a baby she was taken to Leonardo. The abuse she suffered in his hands. Who her real mother was. And that she intended to run away from Leonardo.
Vidal was in a state of shock. Barbara cried. Vidal put his arms around her, trying to comfort her but saying nothing. He knew she needed to cry to lessen the pain and anguish she carried.
Both remained hugging until Barbara began to talk again.
"Vidal, I need to know what you think. What you feel for me. What you would be willing to do for me."
Vidal kissed her.
"Barbara, I am in love with you. It doesn't matter to me what you went through nor what you did. But you can be sure that I will do everything within my reach to make you happy. What about you? What do you feel for me?"
Barbara remained silent for a few minutes. Even though lies came easily to her, she held back. She thought it would be too much to tell him so soon that she loved him.
"I don't love you Vidal. I will not lie. Not yet. I hope that time will change that because I am not sure I am capable of loving someone after everything I have gone through. Not now."
"I will be patient, Barbara."
Vidal hugged her and kissed her. They made love again. Barbara then fell asleep, Vidal did not. He thought about everything he had heard, everything she had said. He started to remember his own father. He couldn't believe that a father could do what Barbara's father did, it was vile and inconceivable. Even if he was not her biological father. Vidal pitied her. No, more than that. He felt compassion for her.
When Barbara finally awoke, Vidal hugged her and kissed her again.
"Vidal, will you help me?"
"Yes, tell me what you plan to do. I will help you wherever necessary. I can't believe that a father, even if he is not the true father, could do what was done to you," said Vidal. His fists closed tightly, he could not put into words the disgust and the hate that he felt for Leonardo.
"After everything I told you Vidal, I would not blame you if you wanted to leave me. You must be thinking I am a tramp, a harlot!"
"Barbara, Barbara. You are not to blame."
"What do you tell me now? What will you do? Will you leave me?"
Vidal remained silent for a few minutes. Yes, she was a harlot if she lay with him shamelessly knowing she had not feelings for him but what wife loved her husband? Most marriages were arranged. They were bonds formed between families for their mutual benefit. If Barbara was a harlot, then all wives were.
"Barbara, I will honor the vows we made in church. I will stay with you but one thing worries me."
"What's that?"
"How do you plan to get away from your father?"
She told him about the plan to get rid of Leonardo, the letter to the archbishop, Jonas' involvement. No question of Vidal's went unanswered; however, a doubt niggled at the back of his mind.
"Barbara, if the archbishop jails and accuses your father of being a mason, perhaps Teodoro and Alicio will be put in a situation they have no way out of. Did you think of that?"
"Now it is too late to think of them. The wheel of destiny has already started turning. In any case, they will pay for a crime that they have committed. That you also committed."
"Yes, but they are not at fault for what happened to you! They were simply helping a brother!"
"As for that, I can do nothing about it. Let us see what happens. Another thing Vidal, please, do not send any letters to Portugal. I cannot put myself at risk. I don't want anyone coming after me. I don't want another shadow in my life."
Vidal agreed with Barbara.
"It is a pity, I didn't want to lose contact with Alicio. But it will have to be as you say. One other thing is bothering me. If your father abused you, how was he planning to continue doing so in the new land after your marriage?"
"Vidal, my father is a mad man. He planned to get rid of you. He then would be able to pretend he was my husband. He would continue with the abuse and I would become his sexual slave until the end of my life. Or his."
Vidal then realized the mess he had gotten himself into. A mess that would certainly cost him his life.
"What are you thinking now, Barbara? Do you want to get rid of me also when you get what you want?"
"Vidal, I am not as mad as my father. We don't even share the same blood. I would never be able to do anything like that. You were attracted to this situation, but I see in you my salvation. I have no illusions and I think we can live as a married couple. Haven't I proven myself to you by telling you everything?"
Vidal then told Barbara the story Fatima told Alicio about their time together in school and he asked her if she had in fact had an amorous relationship with the archbishop. He wanted to know everything.
"Vidal, I looked for his help. I confessed to him. I used to torture myself thinking that the blame for the abuse was mine. He helped me realize that in this story there was only one culprit, my demented father. I hoped he would do something to help me get out of that situation. And he did. He began to spread around town that my father belonged to a dark brotherhood. He thought it best to do it this way so I wouldn't be exposed. The archbishop planned to take him to the inquisition so I would be free of him. It was the way he found to help me, simply out of Christian kindness but my father knew of the archbishop's intentions. That is how we came up with this escape plan, but that you already know. Maybe my proximity with the priest may have given Fatima the wrong idea. I can't believe that she thought that of me. I hope you didn't believe her."
"Barbara, I am going to be honest with you. I did believe it, but I am ruined. I accepted the marriage only for money. At least at first. But when I met you, the money seemed unimportant. Can you understand that?"
Barbara nodded her head and snuggled into Vidal's chest. He remembered Alicio's mistrust of Fatima and asked Barbara about it.
"It is true, she doesn't like men. Sometimes I would play with her, caressing her thighs to see her reaction. She enjoyed it. I wouldn't doubt it if she loved me and wanted me to be more than just a friend."
"Don't take this the wrong way, Barbara. But what about your father's money? How will we cope without it?"
"Don't worry. Most of it is with me."
Vidal breathed a sigh of relief. If the money was with her, it was with him also.
"Let's eat something, Barbara? I can't stand staying closed up here."
"You can't stand being near me? asked Barbara, lowering her head like a naughty child caught red-handed.
Vidal put his arms around her and began to kiss and caress her. Supper could wait.
