‘Now, Alice,’ Mum says.
I sink down onto the bottom step of the stairs. This is her ‘bad news’ voice. I’ve heard it lots these past few weeks: it turns me to ice.
‘Your grandmother says she’s struggling with you, especially after your trip to London. I think we need to talk.’
‘Oh … right.’
This isn’t about Theo. The relief is so massive, I almost laugh.
‘What’s Nell been saying?’ I ask.
‘She says you keep going off without telling her.’
‘Don’t worry, I’m not going to turn up in London again.’
‘Glad to hear it,’ says Mum. ‘It wasn’t one of your better ideas.’
‘Suppose not.’
‘The thing is, Alice, your grandmother thinks you’re not happy there with her.’
‘Really?’ I pick at a loose bit of paint on the wall. ‘She’s actually noticed?’
‘What d’you mean?’
I look over my shoulder just to check Nell hasn’t followed me into the house. She hasn’t; she’s still hammering away at something outside.
‘Honestly, Mum, she’s got this amazing wood right outside her back door and she’s getting rid of it because she says it’s not safe and it’ll ruin her house. But the trees are really old. Really beautiful, only she doesn’t see it like that.’
I picture Mum rubbing her forehead as she listens.
‘Nell didn’t say anything about the wood, sweetie. She was concerned about you coming to London, yes. But she also said you’ve been wandering around her place at night.’
‘She didn’t mention the climbing trees thing? She went mental when she thought I’d been doing that.’
‘No, this wasn’t about climbing trees. She said you’ve been looking through her belongings.’
‘Oh.’ I swallow. ‘Right.’
‘Is that true?’
I get my nail right under a flake of paint and pull.
I don’t know quite how to put it. Okay, so I shouldn’t have gone in that room without asking. But why’s Nell keeping all that stuff locked away, anyway? And why was she crying in the night? She never asks about Theo either – but why would she, when she doesn’t even speak to her own son?
I don’t suppose Mum will want to hear all this, so I choose my words carefully.
‘It’s not that I don’t like staying here,’ I say. ‘I’m okay with it if I can’t come home. I’ve made some friends, too.’
‘That’s good.’
‘But this place is a bit … well … strange.’
‘Strange isn’t necessarily bad,’ Mum says. ‘Think how boring life would be if we all ate the same food, drove the same cars, watched the same TV series.’
‘There isn’t even a TV here,’ I say. ‘But I’d happily eat different food. Nell’s cooking is disgusting.’
‘Your grandmother might seem a tough cookie, Alice. But she strikes me as someone who’s had her fair share of hard times.’
‘She’s weird.’
Mum sighs. ‘It’s not like you to be difficult, sweetie. We’re all finding this hard, aren’t we?’
I nod. I’m picking the paint faster.
‘Alice? Are you listening to me?’
‘Sorry.’
‘Just try to be good, will you?’
‘I am trying.’
‘Then try harder, please.’ Mum sounds tired. ‘I’ve got enough going on here at the hospital.’
‘What’s happened now?’ I ask, alarmed.
‘Oh … just your dad. He said he’d visit today and he hasn’t showed up. Theo keeps asking when he’s coming, and I don’t know what to tell him. Your father owes me big time for this one.’
I remember how Dad’s hands shook as he drove back from London. He was scared. Sounds like he still is. I know what that feels like, but he’s the grown-up here and he shouldn’t be letting Theo down.
Mum starts up again. ‘So what I don’t need today is drama from you.’
‘Me?’
Dad not showing up isn’t my fault. My eyes sting with tears. And for the first time in my life, I put the phone down on Mum. Then I remember I didn’t ask after Theo, which makes me feel bad all over again.
This is Nell’s fault. She’s phoned Mum behind my back like some sneaky teacher at school. Why the heck didn’t she just speak to me?
I storm outside to find Nell. She’s at the side of the house, taking down the fence again. She’s wearing a big toolbelt round her hips and the way she’s swinging her hammer around makes me think of that funny word to do with sword fights: swashbuckling.
‘Why did you phone my mum?’ I ask.
‘Not now, I’m busy,’ she says, waving me away.
I don’t move.
‘You grounded me yesterday – that was enough,’ I say. ‘You didn’t have to go and worry Mum.’
Nell’s hammer stops mid-swing. ‘Oh, so it’s my fault, is it? I’m the one who’s running away without telling people, and sneaking around in the night?’
I fold my arms across my chest. I can feel my heart beating fast.
‘You didn’t have to speak to her,’ I say.
‘You didn’t have to run away,’ she snaps back.
‘I wasn’t running away. I was visiting Theo.’
‘And what were you doing in the little bedroom upstairs?’ Nell says. ‘It looked like prying to me.’
‘I wasn’t …’
She laughs in disbelief. ‘I caught you red-handed, Alice! Or am I seeing things?’
‘I couldn’t sleep, all right?’
‘You were going through private, personal things that don’t concern you. And for your information, young lady, your mother isn’t the only person coping with other issues.’
Hard times, Mum said. I stare at the ground.
‘Are we finished?’ Nell says. ‘Because I’ve got work to do. You’ll remember he’s coming on Tuesday?’
‘Who, Dad?’
It’s a total slip: I’ve no idea why I say it.
‘Good grief, child, no!’ Nell cries. ‘Why on earth would I want him here? I meant Mr Giles, the tree surgeon.’
‘Oh, him.’
Mr Giles or Dad – the thought of either makes my heart crash to the ground.
I escape back to the woods, but Flo’s nowhere to be seen. I call her name but all it does is panic the birds. I feel hopeless. I don’t see how anyone’s going to save Darkling Wood at this rate. This whole situation feels like it’s growing roots itself. It’s not just about protecting the foundations of the house or letting more light in. If Flo’s right, then this could also be about Dad. And if she’s right about that, then maybe she’s right about the fairies too.
I don’t know. I just don’t know.
Last night’s poor sleep is catching up with me. I’m tired. Fed up. I want to go home. Leaning back against the beech tree, I close my eyes. Sunlight falls on my face. Behind my eyelids the colours start to spin. I feel lighter. Calmer.
Perhaps Flo really does see fairies. Standing here now, I can almost understand why. This wood is full of strangeness. Even the sunlight becomes something different as it falls through the trees.
But then.
Fairies, I mean, really?
When I open my eyes everything is gold sparkles. It might just be dizziness. Or it might be something magical. I can’t be sure.
One blink and it’s gone.