Imitation gets you so far, but it kills from within.

UNBROKEN, “D4”

21

NO APOLOGIES

One of the beneficial side effects of working with the death meditation practice (and the other practices in this book) is that it will make clear that spending time worrying what other people think about your spiritual practice or who you are as an individual in general is a complete waste of time. It’s okay to be yourself on the spiritual path, to look inside and honor your truth, because whatever resonates as true for you is all-good in Everything Mind (while staying open to change and continued growth). You don’t need to start dressing a certain way or using certain words or listening to certain types of music.

Yes, you are bound to run into people who will give you a hard time because you don’t fit the mold of what they believe spirituality is supposed to look or sound like. But their opinions and judgments are on them, not you. Don’t waste your time or energy feeding into close-mindedness. You’re the only one who’s going to know what your truth is, which, as we covered earlier, can be done by tuning into your heart center. So go with that! Look inside; become as intimate with your discerning heart as you possibly can, because that is the greatest friend and guide you’ll have on the spiritual journey.

It’s certainly true that the words of those who’ve walked the path before us are a huge help in guiding our way. Words and teachings are important for facilitating our awakening, but it’s the experiences we have that bring the words and teachings to life. And those experiences can never be found in the words, or even the teachings themselves. Words and teachings are nothing more than symbols—they show us the way, but they are not the way. We’re the ones who have to do the legwork. We have to find and dedicate ourselves to the practices (both traditional and nontraditional) that resonate for us, because the application of practice results in experience. Experience is the place where everything begins to change. But let’s not forget that even the experiences themselves are just that: experiences—temporary glimpses into the purely nondualistic state of nonreturn that we’re all bound to get to. It may happen in this lifetime, or it may happen in another, but inevitably, it’s going to happen. So seriously, it’s in your best interest to take it easy on yourself as you go about this spirituality business.

Now, how will we know for sure we’re on the right path? How will we know we’re making the right amount of progress in the right amount of time? The truth is, we’re usually not going to know. If we cultivate a sincere trust in the process, take guidance from those we respect (both alive and dead), and again, most importantly, tune into our hearts for sincere guidance, we’re well on our way.

I was recently teaching an online class called “Finding Your Own Spiritual Path” with my friends Adam Bucko (coauthor of the wonderful book Occupy Spirituality) and Andrew Harvey (whom I’ve already talked about). Andrew addressed two very important pitfalls we should all be aware of when setting out on a path of direct connection. The first is about listening to our heart’s guidance, and Andrew said:

It is often very difficult to tell the difference between the authentic guidance of the heart and your own confused desires to seeing something or other happen in a certain situation. So unless you develop deep discernment and have some inner experience of the difference between the you that is driven by karma, driven by ego, and the you that arises in spaciousness and love when you are freed from karma and ego, it’s going to be hard to really hear what your true voice is saying.1

What Andrew is saying is that we need to really check our motives and be completely honest with ourselves on the spiritual path. Are we hearing only what we want to hear from our hearts, or are we listening with a truly open and discerning mind? Only you can know for sure, but you have to be brutally honest with yourself.

The second pitfall Andrew addressed is becoming narcissistic in our practice: worrying only about ourselves and focusing only on things like how much progress we’re making on our path or how many sutras we’ve memorized or how many mantras we’ve said in a day. Of course, those things can be important, but there’s also a shitload of work to be done in the world; and you, in countless ways, are able to contribute to the betterment of humanity and make a sincere difference. Andrew elaborated by saying:

When you are listening to your heart to find out what your true path is, don’t just listen to your own heart as it refers to your own life: “Are you lonely? Do you long for a lover? Is your primal connection with God through passionate love with reality?” Don’t just listen in that way; listen to your broken heart about the world. Listen to your broken heart about the holocaust of the animals, about the destruction of the environment, about the tragic way in which poor people are kept by a system that thrives on poverty. Listen to your heart about racism, when you’re seeing again and again that video of the beautiful, Shambhalic black man being killed by cops [Eric Garner]. Listen to your heart, because your heart will tell you that it is not enough to have a spiritual path that pursues your own private liberation; you must pursue a path that frees you and liberates you in order for you to turn out more passionately, more steadily, more groundedly in the real world to be an agent, an instrument, of God’s will for transformation of this world into being a living mirror of God’s love and justice.2

So find out what your truth is and own that shit, but own it with an open heart, an open mind, and in a way that benefits others in the process. Finding the balance can be tricky and may take some time, so just do your best and be gentle with yourself in the process.

It’s also worth mentioning that what resonates as truth for you one day may not the next, and that’s okay too. Gandhi once said, “I am human, and I make mistakes. Therefore my commitment must be to truth and not to consistency.”³ This is a perfect place to experience life from, because who knows what tomorrow’s experience of truth will bring for you or for any of us. As we keep our hearts and minds open in this way, we’re open to life and its deeper meanings.