When I was driving home that day, I saw a sign outside a funeral home.
“Free will kit available at the office.”
The irony of that brought my second revelation. At some point in our lives each of us loses any vestige of free will. Before that time, we are able to live out our lives happily, or not, making decisions that affect the course of our lives. Then, at some moment, we lose our freedom; whether we know it or not, we become Calvinists. From then on, our lives are predetermined. It may happen when you start smoking, or when you take sky-diving lessons. Frozen urine falling from a plane flying overhead kills you instead of the person who just shoved you aside. You decided to go out for a drive, and are hit by someone trying to pass a semi on a blind corner. I was going to walk onto an elevator and get blown up. I had no choice in the matter. It was in God’s hands.
Revelation Three arrived courtesy of one of those corny church signs.
“Life is the moment we are living right now.”
Supposedly inspirational, it was true in a way, but only cruelly so. I didn’t need reminding that my life was now nothing more than a series of disconnected moments, all heading in the same direction, bringing me to my one pure moment, the one where I say, “Oh, crap.”