Chapter Thirteen

‘Good morning, my lord.’

Jack opened his eyes to see Tom Weald bringing in his morning coffee. He had slept badly, going over and over that last conversation with Sabrina. She had rejected him. She had told him they would meet in future as friends.

Friends! How the devil could he be friends with a woman whose presence sent him out of his wits with desire?

He sat up, cursing under his breath.

‘Why did you not wake me, man?’

‘Because there was no need, sir.’

‘Of course there is a need,’ he retorted. ‘I wanted to cut more logs before breakfast.’

‘That has been done, my lord. The coach drivers being unable to go anywhere, and having seen to the horses, they set to the task with a will. Everything that needs doing has been done. And my lady is helping Mrs Nidd prepare the breakfast, which she said to tell you would be another hour.’ He handed Jack his cup. ‘So you see there really is no need for you to get up, my lord.’

‘Damn you, do you think I can lie abed when everyone else is working so hard?’ He scowled. ‘Her Ladyship must indeed think me a lazy good-for-nothing!’

‘Oh, I doubt that.’

The valet chuckled as he searched one of the trunks for a clean shirt, and Jack scowled. If Tom only knew how contemptible she thought him. Fit only for flirtations and building snowmen! He had offered her his hand and she had refused him.

Bah! What does it matter what she thinks of me? I have put myself beyond the pale as far as she is concerned. I might as well stop trying.

When Jack eventually went downstairs to the kitchen, he found everyone gathered for breakfast. The room was pleasantly warm and filled with cheerful chatter. His eyes immediately sought out Sabrina, and the breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. Confound it, knowing she was now beyond his reach he wanted her even more! She was busy helping Jane with the cooking, a large apron fastened over her gown, and that glorious honey-gold hair scraped back into a knot. Her cheeks were flushed with heat from the fire and she was laughing. Not the polite smile she used for her society acquaintances, but genuine laughter. Her face was alight with it, eyes twinkling.

She looked up as he came in, and Jack noted how her smile slipped. There was a heartbeat’s hesitation before she wished him a cool good morning and he took a crumb of comfort from that as he greeted her with a smile of his own and a small bow. She was not quite as unaffected by last night’s events as he had feared.

Jane was much more welcoming.

‘Ah, my Lord John.’ She saluted him merrily with her spoon. ‘Will you not join us at the table? Farmer Jessop gave Sam a flitch of bacon, so we breakfast like kings today.’

The men gathered about the table had all risen, but Jack quickly waved them back down again. It was clear no one was standing on ceremony this morning.

‘I’ll join you and gladly,’ he replied, ‘unless there is anything I can do to earn my keep?’

Much shaking of heads and murmurs of denial greeted his offer, and he sat down beside Mary. He engaged the girl in conversation until a plate piled with bacon and eggs appeared before him, and he uttered his thanks before setting to work to break his fast. The babble in the kitchen continued around him, and he felt his spirits lift when a glance towards Sabrina showed that she had also regained her happy smile as she toiled alongside Jane at the range.

A few moments later she turned and surveyed the room, nodding in satisfaction.

‘There,’ she declared. ‘I believe we have made a pretty good job of that, Jane!’

A chorus of agreement ran around the table from the men, most of whom had already cleared their plates.

‘I take it you and Mrs Nidd have already eaten?’ Jack asked her.

‘No, but we will join you now,’ she replied. ‘We insisted everyone should go on and eat. It would not do to let good food grow cold.’

Her smile encompassed them all, and glancing around the table, Jack knew everyone sitting there was now her slave. Without exception, he realised, looking into his own heart.

It was then that Jack knew he truly loved Sabrina. He had never stopped loving her. What a damned fool he had been not to tell her so when he went to her room last night. She had spent years fending off the attentions of men who wanted her merely for what she could give them, and last night he must have appeared no better than any one of them. No wonder she had rejected him. True, she had turned him off with kind words and the assurance that they could always be friends, but he knew the truth now. With a startling clarity, he realised that he did not want to be merely friends. He wanted her whole heart.

And yet, as he sat at the kitchen table, listening to everyone chatter away, he decided that he would settle for friendship if that was all she would give him. It was small comfort, but better than losing her altogether.

The blazing sun encouraged Jack to think that perhaps the roads might soon be clear enough to travel. The two coachmen, eager for something to do, went out to investigate and came back to report that, although there was no sign of any traffic having yet passed along the main road, they had met a local farm labourer, who opined that the stage would be through before the end of the day.

Jack went off to tell Sabrina the news and found her in the dining room, tidying up from last night’s meal. When he walked in, she was on her knees by the dining table, and he was surprised into a laugh.

‘What are you doing, Sabrina?’

‘Sweeping under the table,’ she told him, holding up the brush and crumb tray.

‘Is that really necessary.’

‘But of course! When Mary’s father returns, I do not want him to think we have ill-treated his property. This is one of those tasks that can only be done satisfactorily in daylight, and Jane has no time, so I thought I should do it.’

She dropped the tray and its contents into the empty pail beside her before climbing to her feet.

‘There. At least we will not be treading crumbs into the carpet tonight,’ she said, dusting her hands. ‘I shall have much greater respect for my housemaids in future. For all the servants, in fact. I did not realise how much there was to do in keeping house!’

‘Well, I hope you will not have to be doing it yourself for much longer,’ he told her. ‘It is possible we may be able to leave here tomorrow.’

It was a moment before she reacted to his words, then she said, ‘Well that is good news.’

‘Yes. I thought perhaps I could walk to the Jessops Farm today and arrange for Mary to go to them in the morning. From what Sam and Able have learned, it is unlikely a vehicle will be able to get along the lane for some days yet, but we could take Mary across the fields to the farm in the morning, and her luggage could follow on once it can be collected by cart—’

She put up one hand to stop him. ‘It is by no means decided that Mary will go to the Jessops. Oh, I know they are kindly people and have agreed they will take her, but we have not yet broached the idea to Mary and she will need a little time to grow accustomed.’

‘Then we can delay our departure—’

‘Oh, I see no need for you to inconvenience yourself further, my lord. Jane and I can make our own arrangements once we are ready to quit Hare Hall.’

She spoke lightly enough, but Jack was not deceived. Disappointment rose, bitter as gall in his stomach.

‘You do not want to travel with me.’

‘I think Jane and I can be useful here a little longer,’ she replied. ‘Mary’s bags need to be packed up and the house will have to be put in order.’

‘Then we should all stay and help.’

‘That is not necessary. Although perhaps you might leave one of your footmen here—’

‘What you mean is you do not want me here. So much for the friendship you talked of last night!’

She looked away from him. ‘I do not wish to inconvenience you further.’

‘I find you on your knees sweeping the floor and you talk of sending away what little help you have here! You know it is not sensible, Sabrina.’ He waited. ‘Well, is it?’

‘Now you are being ridiculous,’ she retorted, eyeing him resentfully. ‘I must get on—’

She went to turn away from him, but he caught her arm.

‘You have every right to be angry with me, Sabrina. I have treated you abominably, and I am very sorry for it.’

She flushed, ‘I told you last night that I do not hold that against you. It is all forgotten.’

‘Then allow me to be of some use to you now, when you need it. Let me help you.’

‘You can help me best by leaving Hare Hall,’ she said quietly, although she made no attempt to shake him off.

‘Dash it, woman, there are barely enough of us here now to keep the place running comfortably! Tell me how it would help you if I leave.’ Jack moved closer. She was still facing away from him, but she had bowed her head a little. His eyes were drawn to the back of her neck, where a few wispy golden curls had escaped from the severe topknot. It took all his willpower not to drop a kiss on the exposed skin. He dragged in a ragged breath. ‘Do you hate me that much?’

‘No!’ She turned then, although she would not look up at him. ‘I have never hated you, Jack.’

‘Never?’ A little flame of hope deep inside him flickered into life. ‘Do you mean, in spite of all I have done to hurt you?’

He heard her sigh. She said quietly, ‘I have hurt you, too.’

The little flame grew stronger.

He said, ‘That is what happens, when people allow themselves to care...and I believe we do care for one another.’ He reached out and put a finger beneath her chin, gently coaxed her to look up. ‘Is that not so?’

Sabrina’s throat dried at the warm glow in his blue eyes. It set her heart thudding in her breast, and as their gazes locked, she felt again the tug of desire deep in her belly. She had spent a sleepless night wondering if she had been right to reject Jack’s proposal. In the cold dark reaches of the night it was easy to believe all the difficulties between them could be swept away, but with the daylight came the certainty that it was best to end this now, before the doubts and recriminations tore them apart. And yet, standing here so close to Jack, she wanted him so badly that she could barely think at all.

The air felt thick with expectation. It was coiled around her, thrilling, frightening, holding her captive, and all the while desire spiralled inside until her body was positively aching with it. It would be so easy to give in and throw herself into his arms. To agree to anything...

She swallowed, unable to look away from his intense gaze. All her attention was fixed on Jack, and she barely noticed the soft rumble of voices coming from the hall. She wanted to lean into him, to rest her head on his breast and feel the solid beat of his heart against her cheek. She was ready to count the world well lost.

‘Well, Sabrina Fair?’

His use of that familiar term and the twisted smile he gave put to flight the last shreds of hesitation. She was opening her mouth to reply when the door burst open.

‘Sabrina, Lord John,’ cried Mary, running into the room. ‘Papa is here. He has come home!’