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They spent the next twenty minutes taking turns dragging the bodies up to the road while Steven carried the young boy. Sean was surprised at how difficult it was to drag dead weight even with two people pulling at the same time. They dropped the other two bodies next to the mailboxes and Steve continued to carry the boy back to his mother. The image of Steve carrying that young man cradled in his arms down their icy, deserted road made Sean’s stomach turn. He was sure that mental image would haunt him the rest of his life. All the planning and research Sean had done before the power went out couldn’t have prepared him for the emotions he now felt.
Planning and prepping with his other group members, all of whom should now be safe at their retreat, had been fun. Buying all the gear and testing it on backpacking trips had been fun. Researching and buying their weapons, then spending one weekend a month drilling and shooting had been fun. Sitting around a campfire with a beer in your hand, discussing and debating what the after effects of a pandemic, EMP attack, or fiscal collapse and the group’s contingency for each had been fun. Buying their retreat last year and all the construction projects they had done on the place had been fun. Watching someone carry a young boy you just shot through the head back to his mother was not fun.
Every day when Sean woke up, the reality of the situation would hit him, but not nearly as hard as today. There was so much to do at the farm and Sean always stayed busy so the reality hadn’t really sunk in. He wondered if he would ever be in the position again where he might have to take a young boy’s life to save his own. Would he hesitate next time? Sean fought back a dark cloud of depression that was trying to waft through his thoughts. He knew right then that if he allowed it to, this tragedy could bring him down and make him lose focus on what was important. He knew that he had to keep his immediate family and unborn child safe. If he had reservations before about leaving the farm and his relatives, they were settled now. He needed to get Maria to the retreat as soon as possible.
This farm was just too close to the city. It was relatively safe for now, but for how long? How long till the cities were completely empty of food? How long till the inner city gangs and the stronger and more desperate survivors formed raiding parties to hit the surrounding farms and countryside? Although Sean was really happy with the addition of the food supply and weapons they had acquired, the farm’s location and layout did not support a strong defensive perimeter. They would have to rely on strength of numbers and hope they had the superior firepower. Sean knew that there was death around the corner for some of his relatives. His Grandparents surely wouldn’t last long once their medicine ran out. Who else would die, from infection, sickness, or violence? Maybe it would be his parents or brother or little nephew who wasn’t much younger than the boy being carried down the road in front of him. The thought sent a shiver down his spine.
Again the dark clouds of depression were forcing their way into his thoughts. He had to stop them. He turned and looked at his wife, who was standing there staring at him with a blank look on her face. The other members of the group stood there as well, waiting for Sean’s next move. He never asked or wanted to lead, but there was no one else and no one outside his father and mother knew that he was planning on leaving the farm with his wife soon. Although Sean was not officially their leader, they knew his background and had come to respect his knowledge on what was happening and his plans for getting the farm secured. Sean always felt uncomfortable, though, with his relatives looking to him after he had always respected them and looked to them while growing up. Who would step up and lead them once he was gone? He put aside all the negative thoughts and cleared his mind.
“I need to get these cuts washed and cleaned out. Jackson, Joshua and Lawrence, would you mind dragging the cow up to the barn and get it hung for butchering later? Bug, relieve Tyler from watch in the barn and instruct him to tell the women to get the kitchen prepared to can the meat. On a side note, Nathan, we need to make it a priority to get that smoker you were describing to me built soon or we are going to run out of canning jars.” Nathan nodded in agreement.
“Kenneth, I would like you to join the front watch and keep an eye on Steven as he comes for the other bodies. I don’t expect we’ll have any problems from him, but just in case, I’d like to have you there.”
“No problem,” he agreed.
“I would like to have a meeting in one hour at the farm house with everyone there, outside of those on watch, to explain what happened. If anyone asks, try not to get into it. Let’s just let them know we’ll describe it one time to the whole group and put it behind us. We have some other things I’d like to discuss as well and bring up to a vote.”
Sean shuffled his feet for a moment and looked once more at Steven who was now almost out of sight around the bend. “I wanted to say one more thing. I know that no one here wanted today’s outcome, but I must say that everyone executed the plan flawlessly. If we had just wandered down through the pasture with no plan to confront them, I am sure we would be burying at least one of our own today. I know it’s easier said than done, but there should be no regrets for our actions today. We gave them an opportunity to surrender. They chose the path they went down today and while unfortunately a young boy lost his life, that tragedy rests on them, not us. So let’s try and keep our chins up. We were tested today and we prevailed with no casualties or major injuries.... That’s all I have to say about that. Let’s get back to work.”
Sean took his wife’s hand in his and they walked the long driveway back to Nathan’s house. After cleaning out the small cuts and pulling the splinters from his face, Sean’s mother liberally applied Neosporin to help fight the possibility of infection and insisted that he keep his face clean over the coming days. Sean went for a walk to gather his thoughts and just get away from the chatter in the overcrowded house. He tried to clear his thoughts, but he still couldn’t let go of the fact that he had just killed a young boy, regardless of the circumstances. He made his way to the LP/OP and discussed with his cousin Danny the nature of their meeting and wrote down Danny’s vote. Next he stopped by and spoke to Bug who was still on watch in the barn. Again, after explaining the reason for calling a meeting, he wrote down Bug’s vote as well. As Sean was leaving the barn through the lower door, he found his brother sitting on a hay bale in the basement, staring at the cow that had been hung up. They were skinning it already and Joshua was slowly cleaning his belt knife. Sean sat down on the bale next to his brother and received a wry smile in greeting. “How you doin’, bro?” Sean asked his brother, concerned.
“You mean, besides the fact that I just killed some guy who was just trying to get food for his family? Just peachy,” his brother responded dryly.
Sean sat there for a few moments, not sure what to say to comfort his brother. Although Joshua was six-foot-seven and nearly three hundred pounds, Sean’s brother was the true definition of a gentle soul. Joshua was a leader in his church and had just gotten back from a mission trip to Kenya before the EMP. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had seen his brother mad. “At some point you’re going to have to put it aside, bro. I doubt this will be the last time you have to take a life. Our world is on fire now and it’s only been a week. Can you imagine a month from now? I know that’s no comfort for you, but if you wouldn’t have shot that guy, he would’ve killed you or maybe me. Where would Leah and the kids be then without their father? You did what that man forced you to do: nothing more. It’s life or death now. You have to remember that the next time you are in that situation. For the sake of your family, you can’t hesitate even for a second. That is the new reality of life now.”
“I know you are right, but I keep second guessing my shot. If I had thought about it, I probably could have shot him in the arm or shoulder as he was reaching for that rifle.”
“No!” Sean cut him off sharply. “That kind of thinking is going to get you killed. If someone is reaching for a gun or a weapon, you cannot hesitate. Your first shot is the most vital. If you would have missed his arm, it could have given him enough time to dive for cover or get off a shot before you could recover from the muzzle jump. There’s an old saying, ‘aim small, miss small.’ You need to aim for center mass first time, every time.”
“You are not giving me enough credit, Sean. I have always been just as accurate as you on the range. If I would have...,” Joshua disagreed.
“Absolutely,” Sean cut him off. “You’re probably even a tad better than me. But shooting a paper target at a hundred yards off sandbags isn’t the same thing. There is no adrenaline rush, it’s not chaotic and the paper target isn’t going to shoot back and kill you! My buddy Brody has told me stories from his time in Afghanistan as an Army Ranger. Some of the best shooters during drills would fall apart during the first firefight and become liabilities, threatening the lives of everyone on their team. This may not be Afghanistan, but we are still at war. We are at war for our family’s livelihood. You really need to re-evaluate your thinking on this, bro. I know it’s not really in your nature, but you need to be ready to defend your family and their food at all cost. I don’t want my brother getting killed just because he hesitated. I’m not always going to be there to watch your back...,” Sean trailed off, not wanting to broach the subject of his leaving the farm.
“What do you mean?” His brother squinted at him, suspecting there was more than Sean was letting on.
Sean frowned down at his boots, “I am going to be leaving with Maria in the next couple days.”
Joshua nodded his head in understanding and just sat there. He knew about the retreat Sean had been planning with his friends for the last two years. Sean had always been hinting around for his brother to start preparing for hard times, and Joshua had always looked at his brother as a little paranoid. Not anymore. He had been right all along. “You guys headed up to the retreat?”
“Yeah, I have to take Maria and the baby where are they going to be safest. This farm is just too close to New Castle and Pittsburgh. At some point you guys are probably going to have to either make a stand or flee the farm. I pray not, but there are just too many soon-to-be starving people fleeing the cities and I’m just not comfortable with how close they are. My biggest fear is getting to the retreat safely. Every day that goes by makes the road we have to travel more and more dangerous. I fear if we don’t leave soon, we may not make it.”
“I understand. We’re going to miss you,” Joshua replied.
“I’m going to miss you too.” They sat there for a few minutes in silence as Sean watched his brother slowly cleaning the fat and gristle off his belt knife. When he was finished, they stood and walked in silence back to the farmhouse for the meeting. The other family members were also making their way over from Nathan’s house. It had started to snow again and Sean could see his father and mother helping his grandparents navigate their way, heads bent to the wind.
Everyone but Danny and Bug were crowded into the front living room of the farm house with Kenneth still watching the road. Apparently Steven had come back for the boy’s dad but the third body was still lying there. Sean couldn’t bear to look at the lifeless body sprawled out on his grandparent’s front lawn so he positioned himself away from the window. Sean started off the meeting by explaining in detail the morning’s shootout and what the group decided in regards to Steven. Even though they had already agreed to supply the two of them, Sean still put to vote giving away some of their supplies. It passed unanimously, mostly for the sake of the boy’s mother. Next, Sean let the group in on the fact that they would be leaving in the next couple days. He could tell that his relatives were disappointed but understood that he had a safer place to go with his wife and unborn child.
“It’s long overdue, but it’s time we discuss how this farm is going to operate going forward. I’m going to give you guys my thoughts and recommendations, then open it up to discussion before we vote. The years ahead are going to be really hard and the decisions you make as a group could make the difference between family members living and dying. We are all family here, but there is no way that everyone is going to see eye to eye on every issue. It isn’t going to be feasible to have meetings every night, so I believe that a five member governing council should be voted in to make the day to day decisions that will need made. They should meet every evening as needed to keep things moving smoothly. I think the entire family should meet once a week to discuss any major decisions and vote on the previous week’s decisions from the governing council. I am going to make my vote open, and explain why I think each person should sit on council, and then I think we should take a secret vote where everyone writes down their names for each office. I believe each member should have an area of responsibility around the farm and should be in charge of that area. For example, I think there should be a security officer in charge of setting watches and constantly evaluating and improving the security situation at the farm. I am going to be voting for Kenneth. While I know a few of you in this room also served, I believe he has the most combat experience.”
“I think there needs to be a general maintenance manager for fixing and making things. I am going to be voting for Uncle Nathan. I don’t know if anyone in this room could rival his electrical and mechanical experience. There will need to be a logistics and supplies coordinator. They will track and be in charge of distribution of our food and supply stores. I will be voting for Aunt Eva for that position. We will also need a mediator or judge for settling disputes between family members. If a dispute arises, it will be brought up before the mediator and that person will make a decision after hearing both sides. If the losing party disagrees with the ruling and can find three people to back them, then it can be brought up at the weekly meeting for a group vote which will be final. This one is really easy for me. While I may be biased, I believe my father to be the most honorable and honest man I have ever met. I believe that he would do his best to be impartial. Last, I believe that we need to have someone in charge of food procurement to include hunting and planting crops. Although I know he doesn’t have much experience in the hunting area, I am going to be voting for Grandpa because he’s the only true farmer in the room. What does everyone think? Not about my actual picks, but the overall structure for governing the farm.”
“How long will the appointments be for, and what if we don’t like the person we vote in or they don’t do a good job?” Aunt Sophie asked.
“Good question. I think the appointments should be for six months, but if the person is underperforming or not doing a good job then a vote could be brought up at one of the weekly group meetings. If a majority decides to replace the person, then a new vote will be taken to replace him or her.” Sean could see most people nodding in agreement. “Over the next couple days, I’m going to be working with Uncle Lawrence on some by-laws and the intricate structure of how everything works together. Being a former military officer, I believe he would be best to draw up the by-laws which can be debated and voted on later. But for now, I’d like to at least put to vote the creation of a five member council to govern, so does anyone have anything to add or any issues with that?” No one raised their hand and the vote passed unanimously.
“Ok then, let’s meet tomorrow at the same time and everyone be ready to vote for the council members. Uncle Lawrence and I will try and have something started on the by-laws to start discussions and debates. Once the council is in place, we will get their input as well. This will probably be a long process to get everything ironed out and everyone’s input is encouraged.”
The next twenty-four hours flew by and the family met once more that evening. Everyone must have felt the same way as Sean, because each of his recommendations had been voted in unanimously with the exception of Aunt Eva in the area of logistics and supplies. She mentioned at the beginning of the meeting that she didn’t feel up to it. There was some open discussion with a few names floated around and the reasons why they thought the person should be elected. Sean’s mother made the best case for his older sister Faith who had once been in charge of the scheduling and logistics for a large cathedral in Washington, D.C. Faith won in a tight vote. He quickly moved the discussion back to the by-laws that he had been working on all day with Uncle Lawrence. That opened up a whole evening of ideas and debate, but it was very informative. At one point Sean noticed Uncle Lawrence had completely taken over the direction of the discussions, so he sat back and relaxed, adding ideas that he felt strongly about. “They are going to be ok,” he thought to himself. That night was the first time he slept soundly without worrying about the following day’s agenda.