Chapter Four

“Sounds like the dead are more important than the living,” Frank Thomas said, his cold analysis of Jan’s reasons for extending her stay in California.

Jan adjusted the phone to her ear and walked out to her patio, Elwood at her side.

As if Frank could see her all the way from Seattle, he added, “Sorry. Should have thrown in the dog. And the quote, winter home, unquote, you bought without telling me.” He paused. “I’ll revise my statement. Your priorities go something like this: the dead, the dog, the house, the General. I’m fifth in line.”

She ignored the list and reiterated the schedule. “I bid farewell to this job and my last client next week. Then I head to Seattle.”

“What about the dog?”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she said, “My wild hope that Elwood could be a companion for Dad looks like a pipe-dream.” She chuckled. “Turns out both the dog and I refuse to take orders from the General.”

“And your solution is?”

“At the moment, none. A disobedient dog is the least of my worries.”

When Frank didn’t respond, she went on. “How did six months slip away so quickly? Losing Mom. Helping Dad keep the business going. Getting the house fixed up.” She wondered why she was taking all the blame. “You could have visited.”

“Some of us still work a seven to seven job.” He paused, clearly for dramatic effect. “‘Course it would help if I knew we could sleep together when I visited. You haven’t bought a bed for us, have you?”

She pictured him standing in front of the condo’s living room window, peering out at their view of Elliot Bay, a gotcha smile on his face. Suited up from work, hands-free phone still attached to his ear, he’d be rubbing his bald head in agitation.

“I’m looking for the perfect set of bedroom furniture,” she said, knowing she sounded defensive.

“You’ve never bought a stick of furniture in the twelve years I’ve known you, Janny. Why haven’t you asked for my help?”

She wanted to answer: “So I finally get to furnish a home on my own.” But she was well aware her comment would start a brand new argument.

When she didn’t respond, Frank filled in. “Old Pop Walter’s not begging for my company, that’s for sure.”

“Ancient argument,” she said, irritated by his sarcastic tone, yet sad about the General’s antipathy toward Frank. She rushed to change the subject. “The point is, I haven’t been lolling around in the sun. In fact, my first irate customer showed up on my doorstep today, a guy I have to work with for two hours tonight.”

“Sorry, Janny. The thing is, I worry you won’t be returning in a week. Since you haven’t got the dog or the bed thing taken care of…” He sighed instead of finishing his sentence.

Jan walked to the edge of her patio, enjoying the balmy evening. She knew it was raining in Seattle, but now was not the time to say so.

Her patio. Her California ranch style house, in warm brown stucco and red-tiled roof. She’d bought the one-story, two thousand square foot home from her parents a year ago when they moved to a retirement condo in San Luis Obispo. She was convinced she’d never find a house and a vista like theirs for the price she and her parents had agreed upon. Without telling Frank ahead of time, she’d bought it.

Jan was aware he was waiting for her to bring up the letter from the lawyers, but she couldn’t get out the words.

“Janny?”

“I’m here.”

“You got the letter.”

“I did.” Then it hit her. He should have known the surprise would make her faint. Was he being cruel or had he forgotten her tendency to crumple when she was startled?

“We’re a couple, Janny. The condo was in my name. I converted it to dual ownership. With your signature, we share the deed.”

She sighed. His voice sounded earnest and caring. Clearly he was so caught up in gifting her half of the condo that he didn’t remember how her body reacted to surprises. She’d be mean to tell Frank she’d fainted in front of a stranger, and what good would it do for her to describe the heartrending cries in her faint-dream? “It was a generous gesture, Frank.”

“Well, it was about time, I figured. I presumed you’d be pleased.”

“Thanks. I realize you went to a lot of trouble to get the legal stuff done.”

Frank was quiet for a long time. “I think you left because I was pushing for marriage.”

“My mother was dying, Frank. I ran to her.”

“A house, a dog, and a new job prove otherwise. God, Janny, we’ve been together for twelve years. Committed. Partners. Think of what we’ve gone through together.”

Though she sensed grains of truth in his words, Jan struggled to respond. The Los Padres mountain range, standing stately in the distance, pulled her attention away from intangible, unspeakable emotions. Feelings? What were those? Raised by a demanding father and bowled over by tough-minded brothers, she’d learned to corral emotions and focus on the facts, but her mother’s death had opened those gates and now, a stampede of feelings overwhelmed her.

Elwood rubbed against her leg, seeming to remind her he was real. But what did the nudge mean? A walk, water, food, or a scratch behind the ears? The General had no patience for the dog. Did she? Jan noted the scruffy fellow needed a haircut. Her mother used to brush the little guy’s teeth on occasion. How often? Would Elwood sit still if she cleaned his teeth?

Frank hadn’t said as much but she doubted he’d be pleased if she brought Elwood to Seattle. Would the condo management even allow dogs?

Frank spoke. “We can’t have this conversation over the phone, my dear. Shall I fly down tomorrow so we can talk, face to face?”

The constriction in her heart shouted “No!”

“That wouldn’t be fair to you,” she said, scrambling to find more reasons for him not to come. Her “To Do” list was full. Please don’t make me add a commitment talk, not when I don’t even know how I feel about you anymore.

She was a baseball player caught between third base and home plate, her life a squeeze play, with nowhere to run. Why not abandon the rules and dash off the field? Palm Springs, maybe?

Her suitcase was packed. Why not?

When she looked down at Elwood, in search of an answer to her turmoil, she found it.

The dog sat, waiting for her next move.

Similarly, Jan took a seat on the lounge chair, between third and home base. If she couldn’t run, she’d sit for a while. To Frank, she said, “I’ll finish with my last clients and furnish the great room, the den, and one bedroom. Once those tasks are out of my hair, I’ll think more clearly.”

“Next week?”

“This is Sunday? Yup. One week. You come Sunday evening. Why don’t I give you the retitling paperwork then?”

“Really?” Frank’s voice sounded hopeful for the first time in the conversation. The guilt she felt brought tears to her eyes.

He hoped she’d choose Seattle over Arroyo Grande.

She wondered if she’d pick either city as her home.