Reality

Clearly identify your current reality

“Whatever you believe with emotion becomes your reality. You always act in a manner consistent with your innermost beliefs and convictions.”

—Brian Tracy, American television host. ⁹

“Hold on to your dreams for they are, in a sense, the stuff of which reality is made. It is through our dreams that we maintain the possibility of a better, more meaningful life.”

—Leo F. Buscaglia, American guru, tireless advocate of the power of love. ¹⁰

So far, we have considered how a person’s past leads to their current reality, how we can intentionally change connections in our brain and how to create a powerful personal vision of becoming a Sex God.

Now we identify the shortfall or gaps between your current reality and your personal vision.

How did I do this? I clearly identified what I needed to change to become a Sex God.

You’ll recall from the section on The Past that I suffered from severe performance anxiety, which led to depression.

This was a really big problem. If I was to become the Sex God of my dreams, I would not only have to cure myself of performance anxiety, but I would have to become totally confident having sex. I didn’t know how I was going to do it. No idea! The gap between my current reality and my personal vision was as wide as the Grand Canyon! I was standing on one side of the Grand Canyon and my personal vision was on the other side, and I had to somehow to get across!

I was also experiencing a degree of erectile dysfunction. Sometimes I struggled to get an erection, or to maintain it. It seemed to take an effort, and that took away the fun of making love. Sometimes I lost an erection while making love, which as you can imagine, was very embarrassing.

In addition, when I was able to make love, I was worried that I would get a bout of anxiety or lose my erection. This caused me to hurry, to try and get my partner to orgasm quickly, so I could ejaculate quickly. This caused premature ejaculation.

At other times, when I was feeling very sexy and really “going for it”, I would ejaculate prematurely.

In addition, I had a very poor self image. I was embarrassed about my naked body. I was reasonably fit, but I could certainly be fitter.

When I made love, I felt something was missing. I couldn’t let go and really, really enjoy myself. Something was holding me back. After we made love, I still felt something was missing. I didn’t feel total ecstasy and bliss.

And somehow, I knew that just taking a pill to cure a problem would not lead me to my vision. I needed information, not medication!

Lastly, I had heard males could have multiple orgasms before ejaculating. They sounded fantastic, but I didn’t know how to achieve them.

In Step 2—Creating , I invited you to write down your personal vision. Now I invite you to clearly identify your current reality.

Go on, write it down!

Compare the two lists—your personal vision of YOU as a Sex God, and your current reality.

The difference between the two lists clearly identifies the shortfall or gap between vision and reality.

To reach Sex God status you may need:

• more knowledge,

• or to make physical changes to your body,

• or to make changes to your thought processes—to your beliefs, behaviours and attitudes, to your actual nerve circuits and neural pathways.

Two cautionary notes: I truly believed, deep in my heart, that making my personal vision a reality was possible. If you believe it is impossible, you will lack the motivation or ability to make your vision a reality. With that said, there is nothing to lose by trying to achieve your vision. You might surprise yourself!

If you do nothing, there is a risk your current reality will stay the same or get worse with time. Speaking from personal experience, sometimes change for the better or worse happens so slowly you are unaware of it.

Either way, your future is your choice.

Secondly, you have to fiercely want to reach Sex God status. It must become an integral part of your life. You have to commit, and actually take steps, to change.

The first time I really identified both my personal vision and my current reality was when I was on that holiday with my partner on a tropical island, suffering from an acute bout of performance anxiety and the embarrassment it caused.

To reach Sex God status, I realised I needed all three factors above—I needed more knowledge, and I needed to change and train my mind and body. I knew I could change and train my body, and I had the advantage of already knowing I could change my mind.

Was it challenging for me, this goal of Sex God status? Yes, considering my current reality at the time and the scope of my personal vision, very challenging!

Was I motivated? I hated being like I was! That was enough motivation for me to start on the journey to Sex God status.

Back on the tropical island, I realised I had to take steps to change—and the very steps that I took are the basis of Steps 3 to 7 in this e-book. I quickly realised that part of the gap between my vision and my reality was a lack of knowledge. I had to know more about the conditions I was suffering from, and more importantly, how to reach Sex God status.

And that brings us to Step 3—Knowing .

Key points:

• To reach Sex God status I clearly identified my current reality.

• This identified the gaps or shortfalls between my reality and my personal vision as a Sex God.

• To reach Sex God status, I needed to train and change my mind and body, and I needed more knowledge.