INTERNATIONAL SCIENCE FICTION
From around the globe, fascinating films of imaginative fantasy, each of which almost made the top 100 listing.
1. Orphée (Jean Cocteau, 1950): France’s cinema poet retells the Greek myth of Orpheus in contemporary settings. A mysterious woman draws the hero (Jean Marais) into a “zone” that predates that of Rod Serling—and perhaps inspired him! This cinematic sonnet was the first film to blur the lines between the avant-garde and postwar sci-fi/fantasy.
2. Bis ans Ende der Welt/Until the End of the World (Wim Wenders, 1991): As an out-of-control nuclear-equipped satellite enters the atmosphere, millions panic while a self-serving free spirit (Solveig Dommartin) sets out on a punk phantasmagoria road trip. Imagine Godard’s Breathless (1960) remade as German sci-fi.
3. The Quiet Earth (Geoff Murphy, 1985): From New Zealand, the tale of a scientist (Bruno Lawrence) attempting to create a safe energy grid. He wakes up one morning to find himself alone in the world and realizes his success may have inadvertently depopulated the Earth. Unsettling and eerie, the film was derived in part from Craig Harrison’s 1981 novel of the same name.
4. Aelita: Queen of Mars (Yakov Protazanov, 1924): Following the Russian revolution, a young man travels to Mars, there organizing lowly workers to stage a rebellion against the Old Order. The fascinating visuals in the final half-hour were shot at the great Mezhrabpom-Rus studio. From Aleksey Nikolayevich Tolstoy’s novel of the same name.
5. Batoru rowaiaru/Battle Royale (Kinji Fukasaku, 2000): When Japan’s young people become increasingly unruly, the government ships a ninth grade class to an isolated island where they will be set free to kill each other. Similar in conception but far superior to The Hunger Games (2012).
6. (These Are) The Damned (Joseph Losey, 1963): An American tourist (Macdonald Carey), confused and distraught after running into a Brit Teddy Boy biker gang, stumbles upon a strange hospital for children where unspeakable experiments are conducted. This oddball black-and-white Hammer Films production effectively captures H. L. Lawrence’s 1960 book, The Children of Light.
WHAT A WAY TO GO! In Elio Petri’s vision of a near-future, huntress Ursula Andress poses as a stripper to get the drop on her latest victim, then kills him with a pair of bra pistols. In the second image, the femme fatale displays his tie as a makeshift phallic symbol. Courtesy: Embassy.
7. Enthiran (S. Shankar, 2010): Sci-fi, Tamil style, this film filters the timeless Frankenstein myth through an Indian sensibility. A scientist creates an android double only to discover that he may have consigned not only his own life to destruction but also that of the world. Top F/X by the brilliant Srinivas Mohan.
8. La decima vittima/The Tenth Victim (Elio Petri, 1965): In a futuristic Italy, violent individuals join The Game, taking turns as hunter and hunted in a duel to the death. Ursula Andress’s sexy, deadly bullet bra rates as the eighth wonder of the modern world. From a provocative short story, “Seventh Victim,” by Robert Sheckley.
9. Avalon (Mamoru Oshii, 2001): Stark buildings in the Polish cities of Wrocław and Warsaw provided the Expressionistic locations for this tale of a daring young woman (Małgorzata Foremniak) becoming the key adversary and player in a deadly video game. The 10th Victim by way of Tron; mesmerizing.
10. Santo contra la invasión de los marcianos (Alfredo B. Crevenna, 1966): Known as “El Santo,” Rodolfo Guzmán Huerta (1917–1984) was Mexico’s most famous luchador enmascardo (masked professional wrestler), as well as the subject of graphic novels and B films. In this film, El Santo takes on invaders from the Red Planet.
THEY CAME FROM BEYOND THE FIFTIES!
The brave new world that Huxley had predicted began to take shape during the postwar years, as did the modern sci-fi genre.
1. I Was a Teenage Werewolf (Gene Fowler Jr., 1957): Imagine The Wolfman by way of Rebel Without a Cause and you’ve got the best of the low-budget teen sci-fi flicks, with Michael Landon in top form as the victim of a mad scientist (Whit Bissell) and his own hormones. Best sequence: the gym!
2. Red Planet Mars (Harry Horner, 1952): Messages that are apparently being beamed down from the title planet suggest that God is, Nietzsche’s 1882 dictum aside, alive and well and living on Mars—though the whole thing may just be a Communist plot. The ultimate Cold War sci-fi right-wing message movie.
3. It Came from Outer Space (Jack Arnold, 1953): Top-flight Universal release about invaders set the pace for all the Southwestern desert sci-fi flicks to follow, with 3-D heightening the suspense. The ugly but well-intentioned aliens inspired Spielberg to create Close Encounters.
4. Donovan’s Brain (Felix E. Feist, 1953): When a less-than-likable millionaire passes away, scientists keep his brain functional only to discover that its evil power telekinetically controls people in the manner of Germany’s old Dr. Mabuse (a super-villain appearing in several early Fritz Lang films). From the influential domestic sci-fi novel by Curt Siodmak.
5. When Worlds Collide (Rudolph Maté, 1951): With a star headed directly toward Earth, a rocket ship must be built so that some people may survive. The Oscar-winning film (for Best Effects) is spectacular, but lacks the heart and soul of most George Pal–produced films. From the 1933 novel of the same name by Philip Gordon Wylie and Edwin Balmer.
6. Rocketship X-M (Kurt Neumann, 1950): An excellent low-budgeter that was rushed into production to reach theaters before Destination Moon (1950), this film still packs a punch. After discovering that an atomic war wiped out civilization on Mars, Lloyd Bridges and his astronaut team attempt a return to warn our own world of the threat.
HUMANKIND’S LAST GREATEST HOPE: Producer George Pal brought an acclaimed novel about Earth’s imminent destruction to the screen. When Worlds Collide won the Oscar for Best Special Effects thanks to Harry Barndollar and Gordon Jennings. Here, scientists design and then build a rocket that can spirit at least some humans away to a faraway world. Courtesy: Paramount.
7. It! The Terror from Beyond Space (Edward L. Cahn, 1958): After his rescue from a mission to Mars, the lone surviving astronaut (Marshall Thompson) is accused of murdering his colleagues. Another scary-smart script from the rightly esteemed Jerome Bixby, and the inspiration for Alien some two decades later.
8. The Quatermass Experiment (Val Guest, 1955): An astronaut returns from space, unaware that he’s been overtaken by an alien organism. A bedraggled Brian Donlevy plays England’s most famous fictional scientist. The Westminster Abbey conclusion is a classic set piece. U.S. title: The Creeping Unknown.
9. The Fly (Kurt Neumann, 1958): A scientist (David Hedison) attempting to master teleportation via molecular breakdown makes the mistake of entering a booth that also happens to contain a housefly. Who could ever forget: “Help me! Help me!” From a superb 1957 George Langelaan short story by the same name.
10. I Married a Monster from Outer Space (Gene Fowler Jr., 1958): Invaders from a dying planet snatch the bodies of all-American men in hopes of mating with their nubile wives. Cult queen Gloria Talbott in a surprisingly sensitive study of youthful marriage in the uptight Eisenhower era.
CULT SCI-FI
Though far from blockbusters, these diverse films have each found a dedicated following among sci-fi aficionados.
1. A Boy and His Dog (L. Q. Jones, 1975): Like John Wayne and Sam on the wild frontier in Hondo (1953), a teen (Don Johnson) and his canine pal “Blood” wander the post-apocalyptic West. A self-consciously nasty curio, with an in-your-face chauvinist vision from the ever-ubiquitous Harlan Ellison.
2. Repo Man (Alex Cox, 1984): At last, a role worthy of the great character actor Harry Dean Stanton! He cruises around L.A.’s worst neighborhoods with Emilio Estevez, a snarling punk who joins in the automobile abductions—until, that is, the aliens arrive. Makes a David Lynch film feel mainstream.
FROM THE UNIQUE PEN OF HARLAN ELLISON: A 1969 short story, set in a ruined future-world, touches on cannibalism. A Boy and His Dog was the only film ever written and directed by character actor L. Q. Jones. Here, Don Johnson, Susanne Benton, and Blood (the dog’s voice provided by Tim McIntire). Courtesy: LQ/JAF-First Run Features.
3. Serenity (Joss Whedon, 2005): “Half of writing history is hiding the truth,” Mal (Nathan Fillion) explains in Whedon’s worthy follow-up to his short-lived, much-admired TV series Firefly. After meeting a psychic nature child, the cynical rebel regains his old idealism and fights the Alliance.
4. Silent Running (Douglas Trumbull, 1972): In orbit deep in space, a dedicated environmentalist (Bruce Dern) tends to the last living plants with the help of a trio of Disney-like droids named Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Early Green sci-fi from Trumbull, the wizard of F/X, in his initial directorial effort.
5. Liquid Sky (Slava Tsukerman, 1982): The first sci-fi film to boast a soundtrack composed of digital sampler/synthesizer music. Anne Carlisle plays two New Wave models, one male, one female. The movie drew on the already emergent electroclash club culture, then helped to spread that edgy movement.
6. Capricorn One (Peter Hyams, 1977): Conspiracy theories that the historic moon landing was staged for the TV cameras led to this similar story about a faked Mars landing, with O. J. Simpson playing an astronaut. A surprisingly smart, savvy, satiric, sophisticated film from a usually inept writer-director.
7. Robinson Crusoe on Mars (Byron Haskin, 1964): An astronaut (Paul Mantee), stranded on the Red Planet, gradually comes to realize that his experiences parallel those of Daniel Defoe’s hero. Despite the campy premise and over-the-top title, Robinson Crusoe is a serious and successful example of B-budget “hard sci-fi.”
8. Donnie Darko (Richard Kelly, 2001): Jake Gyllenhaal embodies the 1988 equivalent of James Dean’s 1950s angst-ridden teenager. Donnie researches time travel after a visitation by a weird man in a rabbit suit who insists that the world has a month left before Armageddon. Purposefully quirky.
9. The Cat from Outer Space (Norman Tokar, 1978): When a UFO unexpectedly lands on Earth, the inhabitant turns out to be a cat, longing to rejoin the mothership and go home. Instead, he is adopted by well-meaning earthlings. Sound familiar? Genial Disney comedy provided Spielberg with the template for E.T.
10. Dark City (Alex Proyas, 1998): A confused man (Rufus Sewell) is pursued, Les Misérables style, by an unrelenting detective (William Hurt), as well as a menacing group, the Strangers. Is the amnesiac a serial killer, or the target of a Kafkaesque conspiracy, his world existing in perpetual night?
COMEDY SCIENCE FICTION
Are they comedies with a sci-fi setting or actual examples of the genre, played for laughs? No easy answer to that discussion-inspiring question!
1. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (Stanley Kubrick, 1964): Peter Sellers plays three roles (including the title character) in the greatest black comedy since the Marx Brothers’s Duck Soup (1933). Several sci-fi bits qualify this genius-level farce to be mentioned here.
2. Bud Abbott and Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein (Charles Barton, 1948): Dracula (Bela Lugosi finally returning to the role that defined him) joins the revived Wolfman (Lon Chaney Jr.) and Frankenstein’s monster (Glenn Strange) to menace the title duo in this, the greatest film of their careers.
3. Dark Star (John Carpenter, 1974): Every technological “advance” that can go wrong does precisely that on a flight into deep space. Shot for less than $60,000, this film launched the careers of Carpenter and screenwriter Dan O’Bannon, who also plays a role and later wrote the screenplay for Alien (1979). You gotta love that ever-movin’ beach ball!
4. Moon Pilot (James Neilson, 1962): While an astronaut (Tom Tryon) readies for the first NASA flight to the moon, he meets a girl (Dany Saval) with a foreign accent who comes from considerably farther away than one might guess. Adapted from Starfire, the enjoyably light-hearted novel by Robert Buckner.
5. Frankenweenie (Tim Burton, 2012): A boy and his dog, Burton style. The nightmare is conveyed through some of the most sophisticated stop-motion photography ever devised. A remake of Burton’s own early short subject of the same name, here reaching its full potential for comedy of the most macabre and melancholic order.
6. Visit to a Small Planet (Norman Taurog, 1960): Time-space traveler Jerry Lewis lands on Earth to witness the Civil War, but he arrives a century late. A somewhat watered-down adaptation of Gore Vidal’s brilliant Broadway play, but a surprising amount of the scribe’s savage satire on American mores still shines through.
THE BEST MEDICINE: Comedy sci-fi films run the gamut. Mel Brooks’s broad burlesque, Spaceballs, spoofs Star Wars, Alien, and just about every sci-fi film and stars Rick Moranis as a diminutive Darth Vader type. Courtesy: Brooksfilms/MGM. Stanley Kubrick’s darkly humorous Dr. Strangelove provides a vision of the world’s end, starring George C. Scott as out-of-control General Buck Turgidson. Courtesy: Hawk/Columbia.
7. Spaceballs (Mel Brooks, 1987): A broad burlesque of all the “new” clichés from then-recent sci-fi classics such as Star Wars, the Star Trek films, and Alien. Not, mind you, Blazing Saddles brilliant from beginning to end, but most of the gags work, particularly the grotesque Pizza the Hut.
8. The Brother from Another Planet (John Sayles, 1984): From the much-lauded indie director, this tale follows a dark-hued, telekinetic spaceman (Joe Morton) hiding out in Harlem. A sly parable about ethnicity and issues dealing with illegal immigration, with this brother “alienated” even from his fellow blacks.
9. Galaxy Quest (Dean Parisot, 1999): Aliens abduct the cast of a TV space fantasy, believing that the actors are heroes who will save their planet. The premise recalls ¡Three Amigos! (1986), updated from the Wild West to the Final Frontier. A spot-on parody.
10. Queen of Outer Space (Edward Bernds, 1958): Astronauts land on Venus and encounter a disfigured Amazonian queen (Laurie Mitchell) and an underground revolutionary leader (Zsa Zsa Gabor). Answer to a longstanding question: with Ben Hecht as co-writer? Yes . . . it was always intended to be funny!
DYSTOPIAN FICTION
All dystopian films at least flirt with sci-fi. Here are ten that rub right up against the genre’s edge.
1. A Clockwork Orange (Stanley Kubrick, 1971): Alex (Malcolm McDowell), a juvenile delinquent taken to the nightmare scenario extreme, terrorizes middle-class homes until science and technology are employed to make him conform. Surreal, brilliant version of Anthony Burgess’s 1962 novel.
2. The Trial (Orson Welles, 1962): In a world that may be our own or some parallel universe, a young man (Anthony Perkins) goes on trial for an unspecified crime. The writings of Franz Kafka are sometimes considered sci-fi; certainly, Welles’s shadow-world visually expresses such a descent into madness.
3. Brazil (Terry Gilliam, 1985): An ordinary working stiff (Jonathan Pryce) attempts to locate his dream girl in a world that becomes more surreal every day. Visually remarkable, if derivative of 1984 (1949) and Brave New World (1932). Theatre of the Absurd playwright Tom Stoppard was among the writers.
4. La città delle donne/City of Women (Federico Fellini, 1980): Marcello Mastroianni—here, as in 8-1/2 (1963), playing the great director’s alter ego—steps off a train only to find himself in a matriarchal future-world. The ultimate male chauvinist nightmare scenario as only the cinematic genius of Fellini could present it.
5. Gattaca (Andrew Niccol, 1997): “Biopunk” entered the realm of sci-fi cinema with this vision of eugenics as the source of a horrific near-future. A young man (Ethan Hawke) who wants to travel to space assumes the identity of a person whose DNA qualifies him for such an adventure. Intense!
6. The Hellstrom Chronicle (Walon Green, 1971): A scientist (Lawrence Pressman) realizes that insects are about to take over the Earth. Filmed in a low-key style, without any of the old horror flick clichés or sci-fi conventions. A quietly convincing film bolstered by brilliant “microphotography.”
THE LITTLE FILM THAT HIT BIG: Curious passersby consider entering a theater and catching the small-budget, high-quality indie item that rates as the first American movie to ever depict the aftermath of all-out nuclear warfare. Courtesy: Arch Oboler Productions/Columbia.
7. 28 Days Later (Danny Boyle, 2002): A virus, unwittingly allowed to enter our atmosphere, creates a plague of zombies. The brilliant first half draws on I Am Legend (1954) and The Day of the Triffids (1951). Sadly, the film degenerates into a Rambo-style hackneyed conventional action-flick finale.
8. The War Game (Peter Watkins, 1965): England attempts to survive following a nuclear attack. Shot in a unique British style known as the “dramatized documentary,” in which a fictional tale is delineated as if it were a news story for the BBC. Dazzling and devastating, the film won the Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature in 1966.
9. Five (Arch Oboler, 1951): Four men and a woman, well played by relative unknowns, survive a nuclear war. One of the few films from the avatar of the radio program Lights Out (a classic, if only dimly remembered, predecessor to TV’s The Twilight Zone), Five is also the first film to depict a post-apocalyptic future.
10. No Blade of Grass (Cornel Wilde, 1970): When government officials in London are no longer able to provide food for the rioting masses, a man packs up his family and heads for rural Scotland. A harrowing survivalist drama not unlike maverick Wilde’s earlier The Naked Prey (1966).
THE NAME OF ACTION
Not all sci-fi films are intellectually stimulating—nor do they necessarily need to be. Thrill rides are appreciated.
1. Armageddon (Michael Bay, 1998): Bruce Willis, the Everyman hero of modern sci-fi, saves the world. Scorned by critics, adored by audiences, this typical Bay no-brainer rates as the most consistently entertaining, gut-level, action space fantasy ever. Billy Bob Thornton dazzles in a key supporting role.
2. Pacific Rim (Guillermo del Toro, 2013): Immense creatures invade from an undersea portal. Familiar material transformed into something special by the adrenalin rush of stunningly staged action and the director’s incorporation of the Asian subgenres of kaiju and mecha into a Hollywood blockbuster.
3. Death Race 2000 (Paul Bartel, 1975): David Carradine vs. pre-Rocky Sylvester Stallone in a violent cross-country race. Rollerball with cars, but without the pretentiousness. A smart satiric script makes this the best drive-in movie ever from the Corman company. Based on Ib Melchior’s story, “The Racer.”
4. Starship Troopers (Paul Verhoeven, 1997): From a still-hip novel by the great Robert A. Heinlein. Humankind vs. the insects in a nonstop adrenalin rush. The incredible and perhaps unintended irony: no previous cinematic criticism of war ever celebrated violent action quite so openly or so viscerally!
5. Time Bandits (Terry Gilliam, 1981): Granada, Wales, and Morocco are but three of the locations in which Gilliam shot his giddily chaotic globe- and time-traveling tale of a little boy’s adventures with the most memorable dwarves since Disney’s Snow White. High point: Sean Connery vs. a minotaur.
6. Daleks–Invasion Earth: 2150 A.D. (Gordon Flemyng, 1966): By the mid-sixties, Dr. Who had become a staple of British TV, known for its outrageous plots and whimsical humor. In the second theatrical installment, Peter Cushing incarnates the time-traveling scourge of those miniature invading robots.
7. The Last Starfighter (Nick Castle, 1984): Tron meets Star Wars, plus a preview of Galaxy Quest. A video game–addicted child (Lance Guest) is recruited to save a distant world from a supervillain. Child-oriented action adventure pays off for its youthful audience with strong CGI F/X.
8. Battle Beyond the Stars (Jimmy T. Murakami, 1980): The Magnificent Seven, complete with original cast member Robert Vaughn, reassembled in another galaxy. Lavish by producer Roger Corman’s standards; F/X shots were recycled in the schlockmeister’s later ultra-low-budget space operas.
9. Damnation Alley (Jack Smight, 1977): An intercontinental ballistic missile team retaliates after “some European country” starts a nuclear war, then they fend off killer cockroaches in an armored car that presages George Peppard’s A-Team van. Peppard also stars in this film. Enjoyable actioner, adapted from a superior novel of the same name by Roger Zelazny.
10. Starcrash (Luigi Cozzi, aka Lewis Coates, 1978): A cross between Barbarella and Han Solo, space pirate Stella Starr (Caroline Munro) brings order to the universe while wearing a barely-there black leather bikini. Christopher Plummer looks sadly lost playing an equivalent of Obi-Wan Kenobi.
THE NAME OF ACTION: One of the many juvenile sci-fi films rushed into production following the success of Star Wars, The Last Starfighter had the distinction of being one of the first films to rely heavily on CGI for spectacular F/X, these combined with Ron Cobb’s spaceship designs. Courtesy: Lorimar/Universal.
INVASION OF THE SUPERHEROES
Excepting masked crimefighters sans any superpowers, such adventures are closely related to the science-fiction genre.
1. Iron Man (Jon Favreau, 2008): What may rate as Stan Lee’s greatest single contribution (that’s going some!) stars the pluperfect Robert Downey Jr. as the glib entrepreneur who discovers that clothes sometimes do make the man—that is, if your suit is courtesy of Stan Winston.
2. Superman (Richard Donner, 1978): The big one that proved that superheroes could serve as the centerpiece for A-budget extravaganzas. Christopher Reeve charms as the Jerry Siegel/Joe Shuster icon, and Marlon Brando appears as Jor-El. Early Krypton sequences offer sci-fi at its best.
3. The Incredibles (Brad Bird, 2004): The superhero syndrome comes to the computer-animation world and, thanks to Pixar’s apparently infallible geniuses, results in a slightly edgier than usual, yet still family-friendly, satiric portrait of caped crusaders who balance crime fighting with domesticity.
4. Watchmen (Zack Snyder, 2009): The in-your-face comic by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons finally makes it to the screen as a three-hour, alternative history, Cold War epic. In this world, even superheroes grow old and suffer from cancer. It’s the anti-Incredibles: brilliant, nasty, memorable.
5. Spider-Man 2 (Sam Raimi, 2004): Bigger and better than the first, this brightly colored crowd-pleaser balances the humblest superhero’s (Tobey Maguire) over-the-top duel against Dr. Octopus (Alfred Molina) with a touchingly intimate tale of his love for an actress (Kirsten Dunst).
6. The Rocketeer (Joe Johnston, 1991): In the days leading up to World War II, a would-be hero experiments with a jet-engine backpack. The nostalgia element is played to perfection; Billy Campbell is agreeable as a wide-eyed swain in love with a Bettie Page–type actress (Jennifer Connelly).
7. The Incredible Hulk (Louis Leterrier, 2008): More than making up for Ang Lee’s dizzyingly disappointing 2003 misfire, this reboot respects both the Stan Lee/Jack Kirby source and the seminal 1970s TV series, yet also sets out in satisfyingly different directions, helped along by top acting talent.
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS IN THE MAKING: After a quarter-century of delays, Spider-Man finally reached theater screens in 2002. Tobey Maguire proved the perfect choice for the title role, aided and abetted by David Koepp’s smart screenplay and Sam Raimi’s sure-handed direction. Marvel Entertainment/Columbia.
8. The Dark Knight Rises (Christopher Nolan, 2012): A kidnapped physicist and a fusion reactor add the scientific elements necessary for one of Nolan’s exquisite Batman films to at last claim a few of the genre’s conventions. Christian Bale and Anne Hathaway are perfectly matched as Batman and Catwoman.
9. Darkman (Sam Raimi, 1990): The Phantom of the Opera, House of Wax, and The Incredible Hulk come together in an unsettling neo-noir about a horribly scarred scientist (Liam Neeson) exacting revenge on those who destroyed his life. Darkman was the first film to fully capture the visual textures of a 1940s comic strip.
10. The Toxic Avenger (Michael Herz, 1984): After being shamed by bullies, a creepy kid takes an inadvertent swim in a vat of hot chemicals, emerging as a monstrous-looking avenger. This early sci-fi/horror entry from Lloyd Kaufman’s self-consciously campy Troma Entertainment is among their best.
THE LEAST NECESSARY SCI-FI REMAKES
There’s an old saying: Why not leave well enough alone? Some people, however, just don’t listen . . .
1. The Island of Dr. Moreau (John Frankenheimer, 1996): Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer engage in a contest to see who might do the most damage to what was supposed to be an ambitious new version of Wells’s classic novel. The original director Richard Stanley was fired after three disastrous days.
2. Flash Gordon (Mike Hodges, 1980): Male mannequin Sam J. Jones stands in for Alex Raymond’s space hero with an authentic actor providing his voice in this over-the-top glitz-arama travesty, executed in the low-camp style of TV’s Batman. The soundtrack by Queen downgrades the story for the disco era.
3. Planet of the Apes (Tim Burton, 2001): On paper, the match-up of such beloved material with a quirky cult director must’ve seemed inspired. The results, however, are dark and depressing, though never profoundly so. Mark Wahlberg (not playing Charlton Heston’s role) stars in a film at once brooding, shallow, and confusing.
4. Invaders from Mars (Tobe Hooper, 1986): Angering remake that eliminates every element so strangely charming in the source via a mean-spirited Dan O’Bannon/Don Jakoby script. The low point: Oscar-winner Louise Fletcher wolfing down a frog. Even Stan Winston/John Dykstra F/X don’t help much.
5. Total Recall (Len Wiseman, 2012): Once again, the futuristic fall guy discovers he was an adventurer in a previous life. Cutting away the all-important trip to Mars diminishes viewer interest. Lumbering, the elaborate though unconvincing chase and action sequences gradually become numbing.
6. Village of the Damned (John Carpenter, 1995): The remarkable purity of vision and understated build-up of suspense that characterized the sublime 1960 version are here replaced by a sledgehammer approach meant to scare, though it more often plays as unintentionally silly. Sadly, Christopher Reeve’s final film.
SPACE OPERA FOR THE DISCO ERA: With music by Queen, this lavish (and self-consciously campy) production from Dino De Laurentiis pales in comparison to the beloved old movie serials. With Max von Sydow as Ming the Merciless and Ornella Muti as his man-eating daughter Princess Aura. Courtesy: Starling Films/Universal.
7. The Blob (Chuck Russell, 1988): Modern teens go through all the motions in their attempts to warn adults of impending death. Tony Gardner’s Grand Guignol F/X, ridiculous rather than horrifying, cannot replace the original’s simple appeal, which used the power of suggestion to play to our abiding fear of the unseen.
8. Godzilla (Roland Emmerich, 1998): Title aside, this film steals from The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (1953), Them! (1954), and Jurassic Park (1993) in a futile attempt to concoct something resembling a plot. The dinosaur disappoints, the lead characters annoy, and attempts at humor are nonexistent. Wastes the notable talents of Jean Reno.
9. The Day the Earth Stood Still (Scott Derrickson, 2008): In this modernized version, Klaatu arrives on Earth to prevent further destruction of the environment. Great theme, lousy execution. There had to be an actor who could come closer than Keanu Reeves to Michael Rennie’s gentle yet mighty Carpenter.
10. Rollerball (John McTiernan, 2002): Round and round they go, this time less convincingly than ever. It’s one thing to fail to improve on a classic, but how does a remake of the 1975 stinker manage to be every bit as lame as the original? A career killer for McTiernan and star Chris Klein.
THE WORST
No low-budget drive-in junk here. Only those highly ambitious films that promised much and delivered nil.
1. Battlefield Earth (Roger Christian, 2000): Alien invaders “Psychlos” subjugate humankind for a millennium. From a novel by L. Ron Hubbard, the film, initially intended as the first installment in a vast epic, is full of shabby, costly F/X. For Dianetics diehards and John Travolta (in dreadlocks, no less) completists only.
2. Lifeforce (Tobe Hooper, 1985): A mesmerizing, naked alien (Mathilda May) arrives on Earth. How could the director of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) and Dan O’Bannon, the scribe who would pen Alien, collaborate on something so awe-inspiringly awful? From a far better novel, The Space Vampires by Colin Wilson.
3. Zardoz (John Boorman, 1974): A violent “exterminator” (Sean Connery) zips into the vortex. He comes to harbor second thoughts about his great god, the huge flying head that lends this film its title. Hard to believe the ordinarily impressive director of classics like Excalibur (1981) could hit rock bottom.
4. Dune (David Lynch, 1984): Among those who appeared likely to successfully adapt Frank Herbert’s 1965 philosophical epic, Lynch had to be the leading candidate. Instead, he allowed producers to pressure him into attempting to create another Star Wars–type mainstream action franchise. Disastrous.
5. The Adventures of Pluto Nash (Ron Underwood, 2002): Remember when Eddie Murphy was the biggest star on the planet? That was before he agreed to headline this loser effort about a supposedly charming rogue who runs a trendy nightclub on the moon. The worst-ever sci-fi comedy with lousy gags and shoddy F/X.
6. The Man Who Fell to Earth (Nicolas Roeg, 1976): Glitter rock’s David Bowie hopes to find water for his doomed planet, but instead he encounters Earth’s techno-corporate capitalism. Roeg’s surreal phantasmagoric approach plays as unrelentingly pretentious. An injustice to Walter Tevis’s fine 1963 novel of the same name.
7. Mars Attacks! (Tim Burton, 1996): Jack Nicholson is the U.S. president who wonders why earthlings and Martians can’t all just get along together. Exhaustingly unfunny spoof of 1950s sci-fi movie clichés wasted lots and lots of money on bizarre F/X. Derived from a popular trading card series.
8. The Black Hole (Gary Nelson, 1979): Maximilian Schell is a futuristic Captain Nemo in this expensive Disney film that was supposed to bring back the glory days of 20,000 Leagues. Instead, it offers talk, talk, talk, most of it boring, followed by a dull climactic entrance into the title empty spot in space.
9. Sphere (Barry Levinson, 1998): Samuel L. Jackson, Dustin Hoffman, Sharon Stone in an underwater alien flick, here involving time rather than space travel. A dead-on-arrival dud that combined elements of The Abyss, Alien, Solaris, and Forbidden Planet, yet is in no way comparable to those classics. From a 1987 Michael Crichton novel of the same name.
10. Rollerball (Norman Jewison, 1975): Overripe treatise on futuristic methods of re-channeling violence while elite leaders of a new world order create the most violent sport ever. Numbingly obvious “message movie” makes its point in the first five minutes, then has absolutely nowhere to go.
SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED? Former James Bond star Sean Connery enters the vortex (presumably wearing his underwear) in this spectacularly awful film that is preposterous in plotting, pompous in style, pretentious in theme, and ultimately purposeless. Courtesy: John Boorman Productions/20th Century Fox.
SPACE “CAMP”: SO BAD THEY’RE GREAT!
Bad movies, you don’t want to watch. Great bad movies, you can’t resist. Gleefully indulge in the guilty pleasures.
1. The Little Shop of Horrors (Roger Corman, 1960): A nerd (Jonathan Haze) and a masochist addicted to dental surgery (Jack Nicholson) cross paths with a killer plant. This camp classic may have been the first film ever to achieve cult status with college students via late-night TV showings.
2. Plan 9 from Outer Space (Edward D. Wood Jr., 1959): Vampira (Maila Nurmi) in her first (and only) sci-fi film; Bela Lugosi in his last. What more could anyone ask for? Flying saucers fashioned from paper plates, perhaps? If Ed Wood had never been born, then Tim Burton would have had to create him.
3. Invasion of the Bee Girls (Denis Sanders, 1973): Anitra Ford is a Wasp-like (in every sense of the term) invader who inspires Earth girls to love their men to death. One friend of a recent victim sighs jealously: “Just think! Coming and going at the same time.” Savvy script by Nicholas Meyer.
4. Cat-Women of the Moon (Arthur Hilton, 1953): Space travelers discover an underground lunar civilization consisting of eight Hollywood hopeful starlets in black leotards. Incredibly, cult queen Marie Windsor doesn’t play the queen pussycat but an astronaut. A giant spider, hanging from a visible string, is to die for.
5. Monster Zero (aka Invasion of Astro-Monster) (Ishirô Honda, 1965): After striking out in Hollywood, Nick Adams played variations on his “rebel” image in international junk movies. Here, Nick—the road company junk-movie answer to lookalike Steve McQueen—goes head to head with Godzilla and Rodan, among others. Eiji Tsuburaya provided the irresistibly tacky F/X.
6. Robot Monster (Phil Tucker, 1953): “Ro-Man,” a big lug in an unconvincing ape suit with what appears to be an upside-down fishbowl over his head, sets up a bubble machine in Bronson Canyon and attempts to track down and destroy the worst actor who ever lived, George Nader. Originally in 3-D.
THEY DON’T MAKE ’EM LIKE THIS ANYMORE: Shot in four days on a $16,000 budget, Robot Monster features alien invader Ro-Man (George Barrows) carrying the frantic last woman on Earth (Claudia Barrett) across Bronson Canyon. Courtesy: Astor Pictures.
7. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (Nicholas Webster, 1964): Concerned that their kids have been so conditioned by technology that they can no longer respond as free individuals, Red Planet parents decide to kidnap the merry old elf and bring good spirits to space. Pia Zadora plays one of the children.
8. The Horror of Party Beach (Del Tenney, 1964): The dumping of radioactive waste in the ocean breeds creeps that surge up on shore and menace teenage girls wearing skimpy bikinis by day and lingerie at night. So cheap it makes an American International Pictures quickie look like Lawrence of Arabia.
9. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! (John De Bello, 1978): Those fondly remembered 1950s films about deadly carrots are here lovingly spoofed in this purposefully retro-comedy thriller. Several sequels, a TV series, and everything from video games to Viper comics continued this fascinating film’s franchise.
10. Jesse James Meets Frankenstein’s Daughter (William Beaudine, 1966): She (Narda Onyx) moved dad’s lab to the American desert but didn’t expect a surprise visit from the notorious outlaw (John Lupton). Released as a drive-in doubleheader with another Beaudine film, Billy the Kid vs. Dracula (1966).
