Shauntay sat at her computer with her owlish eyes glued to the screen, while her limber fingers typed away at the keyboard in her home library where she did most of her writing.
I lay slouched on her sofa like she was my psychiatrist and I was a patient in dire need of her services.
“Shaun, what am I going to do about Jason?”
She kept typing away with a smile glued to her lips. I knew I was amusing her more and more by the minute. She finally stopped her incessant typing and looked at me with amusement beaming from her eyes behind the glasses perched on her nose, giving her a school teacher appearance.
“Honey, I honestly think you both need some type of closure. You both need to lock yourself away someplace for a weekend or two and fuck each other’s brains out. That way you both can get each other out of your systems and be done with it.”
I sat up in a hurry on the sofa and peered into my friend’s owlish eyes, to make sure that I heard her correctly and to see if she was serious. She stared back at me with a slight twist to her lips before doubling over with laughter.
“Girl, you should see the look on your face by my suggestion. It’s priceless,” she added.
“Stop playing, Shaun! I really need your advice and you’re playing,” I said, but all the while wondered if her advice wasn’t too far off the mark.
“Look at you. I be damned if you are actually considering what I said. You are one naughty ass woman, Serenity.”
“I am not,” I quickly denied.
“I think you protest too much,” she teased.
I quickly averted my eyes from her all-knowing gaze. The girl knew me too well for her own good. “I am dreading going to Las Vegas,” I said, trying to change the subject.
“I know that you are trying to change the subject, so I will fall in line like a good little friend. Why are you dreading the trip? If I wasn’t on a deadline for this book I am writing, I would happily tag along.”
“I really wish you could come, and then I wouldn’t be stuck playing nice to Emma-Jay all by my lonesome.”
“You are just jealous of her. Pull up your big girl panties and just admit it. The truth shall set you free,” she added for good measure to drive her point home. She folded her arms across her ample breasts before giving me the look and daring me to deny it.
“Okay! I may be a tiny bit jealous. God help me but I don’t want to be. I don’t want to have these confusing feelings for Jason. Shaun, you know me almost as good as I know myself. I have never fallen for a guy with dreads before or dated outside of my race. Although, I do love the thick low-cut wavy silky hair like Jon has.”
“Yeah, I know all of that, but tell me the truth. When Jason came into that sauna last February, did you feel that it wasn’t actually Jonathan?”
I frowned and thought long and hard about that night before answering her question. If I was to be truthful with myself, I felt something was off about that night. I disregarded my conscience and just went with the desire and lust that consumed us both in the steamy sauna.
“I did feel like something wasn’t right,” I finally replied. “I didn’t take time to question it, though. I didn’t want to question it. I was blinded by desire and lust but I truly love Jonathan with my whole heart. Truly I do… I just need to accept my mistake with Jason and move past it. I have to for all of our sakes.”
“Good luck with that happening. But until you and Jason face what happened that night like two adults, all of that sexual energy might blow up in both your faces. I just hope it doesn’t lead to a disaster.”
“I won’t let it,” I promised her as well as myself. “I got this situation under control.”
She looked at me doubtfully. I was doubtful myself, but I squared my shoulders and put on a confident front. From my lips to God’s ears, let what I voiced be true. Give me the strength to fight temptation, I silently prayed, for he was one piece of decadent chocolate that I could never devour again.