Somehow he’d found himself in a swanky club on a Friday night, talking to his gay co-worker about the positive and negative attributes of a bloke called Jasper. From what Ryan had seen so far, Jasper seemed decent – unpretentious (a bit of a surprise, given his name) and affable. He just wasn’t the person Ryan wanted to spend his evening thinking about.
Once again, his attention shifted to the woman currently talking to Jasper. The one with red hair, currently tied back in a simple ponytail, huge blue eyes and a smile that made even the glummest man in the room – and yeah, that was probably him – sit up and take notice.
‘Don’t you agree?’
Shit, that was the third time Lucas had asked him a question. The last two times he’d had to ask him to repeat. Lucas would have a hissy fit if he asked a third time. ‘Yeah.’
‘Thought you would. Hard not to agree with a great ass, dynamite smile and sexy lips you want to feel all over your body.’
Ryan continued to stare at Sam. ‘Definitely.’ Belatedly he realised where Lucas’s focus was. ‘I mean, if you’re into that type of thing.’
Lucas slid him a look. ‘If you’re into six-foot-two hot men who answer to the name Jasper?’
Ryan took a swallow of his beer. ‘Exactly.’
‘As opposed to five-foot-ten beautiful redheads?’
Ryan shook his head, laughing under his breath. ‘Okay, I’m busted.’ He forced his attention back on Jasper. ‘Seems like a good guy. Bit earnest, but better than being flip. Weird sense of humour, but same as yours, so I can see the attraction for you.’ He shifted his gaze back to Lucas. ‘You slept with him yet?’
Lucas rolled his eyes. ‘I can always rely on you to voice the question everyone else has been too tactful to ask.’ He glanced down at his bottle of beer, then back up to Ryan. ‘Would it surprise you if I said no?’
Ryan shrugged. ‘What, I’m supposed to think because you’re gay you were shagging each other before you’d even swopped names?’ His eyes slid unconsciously back to Sam. ‘Don’t have to be gay to do that. Just dumb.’
Lucas followed the direction of his gaze. ‘Why do I get the feeling there’s something you’re not telling me?’
Ryan blew out a breath. ‘All you need to know is she’s not interested.’
Lucas sighed, his expression pensive. ‘In some ways, I hope that’s true. Damien didn’t just break her heart. The humiliation of everyone knowing what he’d done almost broke her.’
‘I’d never—’
‘I know,’ Lucas cut in. ‘But how much easier for her to date a guy she’s met on Tinder. Or at the gym.’
Gutting though it was, Ryan couldn’t disagree. Yet as he stared gloomily down at his beer, he couldn’t help but think that if she liked him enough, if she felt for him half as much as he felt for her, she wouldn’t let stuff like that get in the way. She was his boss, for Christ’s sake, but he was prepared to stomach the sniggers, the jibes, for a shot at dating her for real. Then again, he was probably more used to being jeered at behind his back than Sam was.
‘You know I didn’t just invite you out to meet Jasper tonight.’ Lucas eyed him speculatively. ‘I thought it would give you and Sam some time together outside the office. Things seem a little … tense between you since Cornwall.’
‘I embarrassed her in front of Lynch.’
The edges of Lucas’s mouth turned down in a grimace. ‘Yikes. Please don’t tell me you went all caveman. She hates that.’
‘Yeah, so I’ve discovered.’ He wanted to protect her. Why was that so wrong? It wasn’t like he could control how he felt.
‘Hey.’ Lucas gave him a solid nudge. ‘Much as I’m enjoying watching you brood into your beer, it’s time I reminded Jasper he came here with me. Why not see if you can clear the air with Sam?’
Ryan wasn’t sure there was any air left to clear. She’d made her feelings perfectly plain: she was annoyed with his treatment of her ex, annoyed with his lack of team spirit and probably annoyed she’d ever lowered herself to having sex with him. Still, as the rest of their party – Alice, Becky and Becky’s anaemic-looking other half – looked set in their current huddle, it at least gave him an excuse to sit next to her.
It’s not like he could make things any worse.
The moment Lucas dragged Jasper onto the tiny dance floor, Ryan eased onto the stool he’d vacated, next to Sam. ‘If you move away now, it’ll be obvious you want to avoid me.’
She blinked, slowly lowering her wine glass. ‘Why would I want to avoid you?’
‘Beats me.’
Her breath escaped in a sort of ladylike snort. ‘Anyone ever tell you how annoying you can be?’
‘Yes, you. Frequently.’
Another noise, this one like someone was strangling her. ‘Was there a purpose to you coming over to talk to me, or is it just wind-up-the-boss time?’
His frustration bubbled over. ‘And there it is.’
‘What is?’
He laughed, heavy with sarcasm. ‘The not so subtle reminder of our respective positions.’
She didn’t reply immediately, forcing him to actually look at her. Something he found hard to do, without wanting to kiss her. And now she was biting into her lip, which sent a pulse of lust straight to his groin.
‘I’m sorry.’ She was so close, he was sure he could feel her sigh against his skin. ‘I’m not finding this easy. Cornwall felt like another world. Now it’s back to reality. I don’t think we can carry on where we left off. Not without getting into a tangled mess.’
‘A hot, tangled mess.’ He caught her eye and smiled. ‘Sounds epic.’
She started to laugh. ‘It does, doesn’t it?’ Then her face became serious again. ‘But would it be wise?’
He wanted to tell her to stuff wise. If being wise meant he was left feeling like he did now, with an ache in his groin, and what seemed like a hole in the middle of his chest, it bloody sucked. But before he could say it – well, words along those lines – they were interrupted by Becky. ‘Is this a private talk, or can we butt in?’
‘Private.’
‘Of course you can join us.’
Typically, Becky ignored him and within seconds his private chat with Sam had become a group chat. Strike that, it was a girl chat, because Becky’s man seemed about as keen to join in the conversation as Ryan was. With a resigned sigh, he signalled to the bartender. Then realised he could hardly get himself a drink without asking the others.
A round of drinks later, he reluctantly handed over the equivalent of his grocery bill for the week. Looked like he was heading for a diet of jacket potato and baked beans.
It was after eleven when Lucas finally said he was heading home. Or, more precisely, that he and Jasper were heading off. Sam would have to quiz him tomorrow about where they ended up. How much easier to talk about someone else’s sex life than her own. Not that she had one now, because she and Ryan had agreed that was off the table.
Or had they? The words ‘hot, tangled mess’, said in a low, husky tone, kept running through her head. Easy to talk about doing the sensible thing. A heck of a lot more difficult to stick to it.
Especially when the man she imagined being in a hot, tangled mess with kept looking at her like he was now. All simmering sexual intensity from across the cab they were sharing with Alice. And as Alice was the first stop, it meant she and Ryan would be alone when they arrived at her place – or his, because she still didn’t know exactly where he lived. Not that it mattered, both had a bed.
Her belly fluttered.
Wise. She needed to be wise.
‘This is me.’ At Alice’s instruction, the cab came to a stop and Ryan stepped out, holding the door for her. But as Alice bent to climb out, she froze, her eyes fixed on a man sitting on the top step to the entrance of a modern block of flats.
‘Who is it?’ Ryan, too, had spotted the figure.
‘Shaun. My ex,’ she whispered, her hand trembling as she reached for the door to steady herself.
‘The one we talked about in Cornwall?’ Ryan asked.
‘Yes.’
‘And you finished with him?’ Ryan’s tone was matter of fact, but Sam could tell from his expression that he wasn’t happy.
‘Yes, I realised you were right.’ Alice kept darting looks over at the dark figure. ‘He was a bully. I told him I didn’t want to see him again.’
‘Looks like he didn’t hear.’ Ryan ducked his head into the cab and spoke to Sam. ‘You go home. I’ll deal with this.’
Sam ignored him and climbed out, asking the cabbie to wait for them.
Ryan stared back at her, his expression tight. ‘Don’t trust me?’
‘Don’t be stupid.’ She put an arm around Alice’s rigid shoulders. ‘I want to make sure Alice is okay.’
She could tell he was put out, but she didn’t care. There wasn’t a chance in hell she leaving Alice on her own if Ryan started anything with Shaun. Judging from the tension emanating from him as he strode on ahead of them, Ryan was more than ready to lock horns.
‘Shaun?’
The guy on the steps jumped to his feet as Ryan reached him. Shorter than Ryan, but bulkier, stockier. Sam would have said Shaun wasn’t bad looking, if she wasn’t aware of the tremors running through Alice.
‘Who are you?’ Shaun shoved his hands onto his hips, his eyes flickering between Alice and Ryan.
‘Irrelevant,’ Ryan shot back. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘None of your business.’
From her position at the bottom of the steps, Sam saw Ryan smile. Not an amused curve of the lips, but a cold twist of them. ‘I’ve just made it my business.’
‘I’m here to see Alice.’ Shaun stood his ground.
Ryan turned to Alice, his expression taut, like an over-coiled spring. ‘Do you want to see this guy?’
Alice shook her head. ‘No.’ Her voice sounded scratchy and Sam gave her hand an encouraging squeeze. ‘No,’ she said more firmly. ‘I told you, Shaun. It’s over. I don’t want to see you again.’
‘Come on, honey.’ Shaun started to take a step towards her. ‘You don’t mean—’
In a flash, Ryan had Shaun with his arm pinned behind his back. ‘I just heard Alice say she didn’t want to see you.’ His voice was so harsh it sent a shiver down Sam’s spine. ‘Did you hear that, too?’
Shaun struggled against the hold. ‘Let go of me, man.’
‘I’ll let go,’ Ryan bit out, ‘when you reassure Alice that you won’t be troubling her again.’
Sam’s heart was going at a gallop. She’d seen Ryan angry, amused, gentle, sarcastic. She’d never seen him like this.
Shaun grunted and swung his body round, fists flying as he tried to punch Ryan, though his action was hampered by the hold Ryan had on his arm. But then Shaun got dirty, moving out of Ryan’s grasp enough to lift his knee to slam it into Ryan’s groin. Ryan swore and let go, leaving Shaun free to aim another punch. Ryan swerved, then grabbed at Shaun’s arm again, this time turning so Shaun was in front of him. His groin out of harm’s way.
‘Go near Alice again,’ Ryan told him in a cold, flat tone, tightening his pressure on Shaun’s arm, ‘and you’ll have me to answer to. Understood?’
Shaun nodded, once, and Ryan dropped his hold.
For several taut moments Shaun glared back at Ryan before swearing under his breath and walking away.
When he was out of sight, Ryan bent over, hands on his knees.
‘Are you okay?’ Sam asked him, shaken from what she’d seen. Call her life charmed, but she’d never seen two men fight before. It was brutal.
‘Yeah.’ Slowly he straightened, wincing. ‘My nuts are somewhere in my throat, but yeah.’
‘That was … that was horrible.’ The tremor in Alice’s voice wasn’t hard to miss. Nor was the way she remained several feet away. As if she was scared to come closer.
Ryan glanced from Alice, to Sam and back to Alice. Whatever he saw on their faces caused him to duck his head and thrust his hands in his pockets. ‘I’ll leave you two to it.’
‘Wait.’ Sam touched his arm. ‘Aren’t we sharing the cab?’
He wouldn’t look her in the eye. ‘You take it. I need to clear my head.’
‘But Ryan—’
‘Leave it.’
She watched as he marched off down the road, a big, hulking, possibly upset, definitely stubborn male.
Next to her, Alice started to cry. ‘He’s annoyed with me, isn’t he? I shouldn’t have said it was horrible. It’s like I was telling him what he did was wrong.’ She heaved in shuddering a breath. ‘It was Shaun who tried to punch Ryan. I know that, just as I know Ryan was trying to help. It’s just, it was frightening to watch.’
‘You were right to say it. Violence is horrible.’ Sam gathered Alice to her, draping an arm around her shoulders. ‘I suspect, going out with Shaun, you may have seen it before.’
Alice twisted her hands. ‘He didn’t hit me. But … he made me think he might, and that scared me.’
‘Well, horrid as it was to watch, I don’t think Shaun will be troubling you again. Funny thing about bullies, they don’t like it when somebody turns the tables on them.’
A short while later, having reassured herself Alice was okay, Sam got back into the miraculously still waiting cab. As it set off towards her place, she slipped out her phone and texted Ryan.
Just checking up on you. Sam
A moment later, she received a text back.
Worried about me or my balls?
She let out a short laugh.
Both.
When his reply finally came, not until she was letting herself in to her flat, she frowned down at it.
Both are fine.
Funny how she could sense his mood from only three typed words. He was clearly still upset with how she and Alice had reacted. A second later he sent her another text.
Are you back at yours?
Immediately her heart jumped into her throat. Was he checking so he could come over? Oh God, she wanted that, so much she almost couldn’t breathe. She wanted to reassure herself he was okay, that he wasn’t hurt. To hold him, too. To just be with him.
With shaking hands, she typed,
Yes
Quick as a flash, he replied.
Good. See you on Monday.
The rush of disappointment she felt confirmed what she already knew. She was kidding herself if she thought she could keep Ryan in a neat, tidy box marked ‘Employee only. Do not touch.’ She was in too deep.
Taking a breath, she pressed call. He answered on the first ring.
‘Sunshine?’
He’d used the name earlier in the week and she’d hated it, feeling like he was talking down to her. Now he said it softly, the word coming across as a caress, a term of affection. And it caused a band to tighten across her chest. ‘I was wondering …’ Oh God, this was much harder to do than she’d thought. What if he said no? What if he’d decided she wasn’t worth the angst?
‘You were wondering if my balls really were okay?’ he supplied for her. ‘Because I’ve got to tell you, there’s really only one way to find out.’
‘Then would you get in a cab and come here, so we can do just that?’
Silence. Well, except for the muffled sound of him breathing. Sam’s skin started to prick with embarrassment. Oh God, she’d totally misjudged this. He didn’t want—
‘You’re seriously inviting me over, after … after what just happened?’
What was he saying? Did he really think this was all about sex? That she was worried whether he could perform or not? ‘Yes, I’d like you to come over. If that’s what you want, too.’
The sound of his laughter echoed down the phone. ‘Try and stop me. I’ll be there in ten. If I can’t find a cab, I’ll run. Don’t, for God’s sake, fall asleep on me.’