Ryan woke early, his mind immediately back at the hospital. There’d been no phone call, which had to be a good sign. Still, he felt anxious to go back and see for himself. His gaze fell on the woman curled up next to him in the bed. The woman who’d given him more support, more comfort in the last twelve hours than he’d ever had. He loved his mum, but thanks to the booze she’d never really been there for him when he’d needed her. It had always been him, worried about her.
For the first time in his life, last night, someone had taken care of him.
Emotion welled, churning around in his chest, tightening his throat. Sam was the gutsiest, kindest, sexiest woman he’d ever met, no doubt would ever meet. He was one lucky sod to be going out with her.
Even if it was on the quiet.
Even if it meant lying to people at work. To Lucas. To Erin.
Shaking off the unwanted thoughts he pushed himself out of bed and took a quick shower in the tiny cubicle – a far cry from Sam’s swanky walk-in version with the multiple jets. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he went to wake her. ‘Hey, Sunshine. Time to get moving.’ She grunted in an unladylike fashion, turning away from him. ‘Whoa, no, you don’t. Not if want to have a shower before Erin wakes up.’
Sam blinked open her eyes. ‘What time is it?’
He looked down at his watch. ‘Six thirty.’
She groaned. ‘Four hours isn’t enough sleep.’
‘Not all of that was my fault,’ he reminded her smugly.
Her cheeks turned pink, which made him feel even smugger. ‘Fine. I’ll get up.’ She pulled back the duvet, and his body reacted instantly to the sight of her naked one. This time it was her turn to smile and she did, flashing him a provocative look over her left shoulder as she walked out of the room.
Shaking his head, he sat on the bed and dialled the ward. Hearing his mum was stable and still asleep sent a wave of relief through him. Another good sign, surely.
After dragging the clothes out of the tumble dryer, he shrugged his on and dumped hers on the bed. Then thought twice and made a reasonable attempt at folding them, his fingers lingering on the lacey underwear longer than was strictly necessary. It was only when he thought of Erin barging in and finding him perving over his boss’s knickers that he dropped them onto the pile and headed downstairs to find something for breakfast.
‘I see she’s in the shower. She’d better not nick all the hot water.’
Erin stood in the doorway, wrapped in an oversized dressing gown, the scowl she reserved just for him already on her face.
Ignoring her comment, he filled the kettle. ‘I’ve rung the hospital. Mum’s still asleep.’
‘That’s a good thing, right?’
There it was, he thought, the vulnerability beneath the bluster. It was signs like that, and the way she’d clung to their mum yesterday, that hinted at the sister he knew was still in there. ‘It’s a good thing,’ he reassured. ‘Fingers crossed she’ll be allowed home soon.’ But what was he supposed to do about Erin in the meantime? She’d be okay by herself – she was seventeen, after all – but he didn’t want to think of her stewing at home, worrying. ‘Have you got any friends who can come and stay until Mum gets back?’
She quirked a brow. ‘Worried about me?’
‘Of course I am.’
‘Not enough to stay around though, eh?’
He sighed, leaning against the counter. ‘I work, Erin. You know that.’
‘What, you can’t wangle a few days off, even though you’re clearly shagging your boss?’ She let out a sharp crack of laughter. ‘A fact you haven’t even got the guts to admit to me?’
‘Cut it out,’ he answered tersely.
‘Hit a sore spot, did I? Must be really weird, having sex with someone who’s the boss of you. Still, I guess that’s the only way you can get on in the company, with you having no qualifications or anything. Can’t see what’s in it for her, mind. You’d have to be one hell of a lay.’
‘I said cut it out.’ Ryan felt the anger burn through him, tinged with a hint of shame, because some of what she was saying was true. He didn’t have any qualifications. And he was terrified that part of the reason behind Sam’s desire to keep their relationship secret was that sex was all she wanted from him. ‘What happened to you?’ he asked Erin sadly. ‘When did you become so hard?’
‘Maybe when I was forced to live with a foster family for a while ’cos my brother upped and left me with an alcoholic mother? Or maybe during the last nine years of living with Mum, seeing her struggle with the booze and depression. Wondering every time I woke up if this was going to be the day she’d have another major meltdown and I’d have to go back into care.’
Tears filled her eyes and Ryan felt his heart break for her. Shit, he hadn’t realised. How easy it had been for him, just checking in on them every few weeks. Blissfully ignorant of how hard they were both finding day to day life. ‘I’m sorry,’ he croaked, swamped with guilt.
‘Yeah, sure you are.’
At the sound of a creak they both looked up to find Sam had entered the kitchen. Ryan swore under his breath, humiliation rolling through him. How long had she been listening?
Sam stood awkwardly in the doorway, wishing for all their sakes that she could unhear the last few minutes. And unsee the tortured expression on Ryan’s face as he’d issued his choked apology to Erin. For a man who already wore his guilt like a heavy chain around his neck, his sister’s words must have really sliced through him.
‘The bathroom’s free.’ She glanced over at Erin, saw her stony expression and clamped down on the other things she’d planned on saying. Like your brother is far more than just a good lay.
As Erin flounced up the stairs, Ryan turned, leaving her staring at his rigid back, his hands clenched so tightly to the worktop she half expected to hear it snap.
Must be really weird, having sex with someone who’s the boss of you. Erin’s words seemed to echo around the room, leaving an awkward silence in their wake. The feelings she had for him, woman to man, were hard enough to cope with, without the added complication of their work situation.
‘What happened with Erin isn’t your fault.’ Though she ached to put her arms around him, she held back, unsure if he’d accept that from her now Erin had shoved their boss–employee status down his throat. ‘I feel for your sister, I really do, but you have to stop blaming yourself. If you need to throw the blame at someone, hurl it at your dad.’
‘Sam.’ She heard the breath rush into his lungs, saw the rise of his shoulders and then the fall. ‘Leave it. Please.’
She wanted to push. To shake his stubborn body and yell at him for being so accepting, so meek when it came to defending himself against Erin’s barbs. But he didn’t need any more angst right now. ‘I’ll leave it, when I’ve said this. You are one hell of a lay. But you’re also far, far more than that.’
Slowly he turned to face her, his smile going a long way towards dissolving the awkwardness Erin had put between them. ‘Come here.’
Three steps and she was sliding into his open arms. As she wrapped hers around his waist she felt the tension leave his body. Guessing he needed the contact more than words, she kept quiet, just holding on to him as he held on to her.
Finally he eased away, but not before he’d planted a soft kiss on her lips. ‘You want some breakfast?’
‘I’ll take a coffee, if you’re offering.’
‘Cereal? Eggs? Toast?’
He was so subdued still. Upset about his mum, Erin? Or smarting from Erin’s implication he was sleeping his way to the top? ‘Whatever you’re best at.’ Nope, still nothing, just a nod of his head. ‘Shall I ask Erin what she wants?’
Gratitude shot across his face. ‘Thanks.’
Warily Sam climbed the stairs. She could do this. If she could face down angry investors, she could tackle a stroppy teenager. Finding the bathroom door still open, she walked to the room Ryan had pointed out to her last night – the one at the end of the small landing. Squaring her shoulders, Sam knocked on the door. ‘Erin. Ryan wants to know what you’d like for breakfast?’
A second later the door swung open. ‘I don’t want his shitty breakfast.’
Sam took one look at Erin’s wet cheeks, her red-rimmed eyes, and held back the sarcastic retort she wanted to deliver. Still, the thought of Ryan downstairs, weighed down by misery, was too painful for her to leave this alone. ‘Why are you so mean to him?’
Erin shrugged, the casual gesture not fooling Sam. ‘Don’t act like you didn’t hear what I said downstairs.’
‘I heard what a tough time you’ve had, yes, and I’m sorry.’ She paused. ‘Have you ever considered how it was for Ryan, when he was your age?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean it’s tough, living with an alcoholic parent, I can see that. But he had to go through it too. The difference is, I suspect there were many times he had to take care of you, as well.’ She made sure to catch Erin’s eye. ‘That’s a lot to put on a teenage kid.’
Erin moved to shut the door on her. ‘I don’t need to listen to this.’
Sam put her foot in the way, stopping her. ‘I think you do. I think you need to ask yourself why Ryan has no qualifications. Why he left you when he was eighteen, because it sure wasn’t to do what most smart guys his age would do and go to university.’
‘Just goes to show what you know. He didn’t like school or studying. Didn’t even go out with his mates. He preferred sitting in his room, playing on his computer.’
‘Maybe he didn’t prefer that,’ she countered quietly. ‘Maybe he felt he had no choice.’
Erin blinked, then turned away sharply. ‘Go away.’
Sam sighed. What had she expected? That Erin would magically start to soften a stance built from nine years of resentment? ‘Okay, I’ll leave you to get ready.’
She was halfway down the stairs when she heard Erin shout through the closed door. ‘Tell Ryan I want a cup of tea and eggy bread.’
Feeling the pleasant hum of a small victory she went to rejoin Ryan, who was stirring a pan on the small hob. ‘Erin says she’d like tea and eggy bread.’
His head snapped round, his expression a curious mixture of shock, puzzlement and tentative hope. ‘She did?’
‘Yep. Why the surprise?’
‘Eggy bread.’ A small smile curved his lips. ‘It’s what I used to make her years ago.’
‘When you still lived at home?’
‘Yeah.’
‘When you used to get on?’ she added softly.
He nodded. ‘She was easy to please in those days. She’d have had eggy bread for breakfast, lunch and dinner if she could.’ His face twisted. ‘Sometimes she did.’
‘But look at her now,’ Sam said firmly, desperate for him to stop beating himself up. ‘At the young lady you helped to nurture. How strong and capable she is. How beautiful.’
‘How stubborn. How mouthy.’
Better. Sam smiled. ‘She’s not afraid to stand up for herself. It’s a good thing. Not unlike her brother.’
He laughed then, a sound that warmed her inside. ‘Careful, Sunshine. You’re close to admitting you like me being a stubborn git.’
‘No, I’m not.’ Shaking her head, she pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. ‘I’m saying I like you. All of you. Very much. Even the parts that make me want to scream.’
The sexy smirk was back. ‘I like making you scream.’ But then his face turned serious, his eyes more intense. ‘You know I like all of you, too, don’t you?’ He trailed his thumb across her lips, his eyes darkening. ‘More than like, in fact.’
Her heart jumped, but before she could reply, before she could tell him it was more than like for her, too, they were interrupted by the smell of burning.
‘Bugger, bollocks.’ He lunged at the pan of charred scrambled eggs, lifting it off the hob. ‘Shit.’
She couldn’t help it. She started to laugh. ‘I think I’ll take the eggy bread instead.’
‘You seriously think that’ll go any better?’ He proceeded to scrape the eggs out of the pan and onto the waiting toast. ‘Serves you right for distracting me.’
He shoved the plate at her and she bit into her lip, desperate not to giggle because he looked so frustrated. ‘Thanks,’ she managed. ‘I love burnt scrambled eggs.’
‘Piss off and eat it.’ The warmth in his eyes, the affection in his tone, drowned out the sting of his words.
‘Are you allowed to tell your boss to piss off?’ Erin appeared in the doorway, dressed in skinny jeans and a T-shirt, her dark hair still wet, her face looking finely beautiful without makeup.
Sam gave her a level gaze. ‘I’m not his boss here.’
Ryan clattered the egg pan into the sink. ‘Sam tells me you want eggy bread?’
Erin raised her chin as she answered, as if daring him to comment. ‘Yes.’
He ignored the bait. ‘Coming right up.’
Half an hour later they were back at the hospital. While Erin rushed ahead, Ryan held onto Sam’s arm. ‘You should head back. I’ve taken you away from the office for long enough as it is.’ He jammed a restless hand through his hair. ‘I’ll catch the train when I know Mum’s okay and Erin isn’t on her own. Then I’ll work through the night to get the beta version finished.’
‘I’m not going back until you come and tell me how your mum is. Take as long as you need.’
She sensed his hesitation. ‘If you don’t go back soon, everyone in the office will know where you spent the night.’
Anxiety knotted her insides, but it wasn’t enough to change her mind. She didn’t just want to stay until she knew everything was okay, she needed to. ‘We’ll worry about that later. Go and say hello to your mum. I’ll be in the waiting room when you’re ready.’
Still he didn’t move. Instead his eyes travelled over her face, before staring into hers. ‘I don’t know if I said it enough, but thank you.’
‘You’ve said it plenty. Go.’
Still he hesitated, his gaze drifting to her mouth, as if deciding whether to kiss her or not. Just as she started to anticipate the feel of his lips, he turned and strode off. Leaving her feeling acutely disappointed.