Introduction: We’re Not in Kansas Anymore 

Do you remember watching The Wizard of Oz on television with your family? Airing this classic was an annual tradition on American network television from 1959 to 1991. How and what we watch on television has changed a lot since then. As Dorothy famously said, “We’re not in Kansas anymore.”

We no longer gather on the couch regularly as a family to watch television. I (Gary) have pleasant memories of watching Christmas classics when our grandchildren were younger. They lived in another state but always came for Christmas. These shared experiences stimulated conversation and built memories. I (Arlene) remember many evenings watching shows like Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy!, and Matlock with my grandma.

Today, grandkids have their own phones or tablets. They are watching programs and playing video games alone. Screen time is largely a solo sport. Grandparents can watch what they want on the big screen while their grandchildren watch a cartoon on a laptop or iPad. Some would call this progress, but many grandparents don’t find the changes satisfying or joyous. Instead of having a unifying effect, separate screens under one roof can have a distancing, even polarizing effect.

But does tech have to divide us? No. Technology can bridge gaps instead of create them. Take video chatting, for example. According to an AARP survey, “38 percent of American grandparents … sometimes or often use video chat to communicate with their grandkids.”¹ It’s pretty amazing that a grandfather who lives in Hawaii could watch a grandchild play the piano in Michigan, and applaud in real time through FaceTime. A digitally savvy grandma might follow her granddaughter on social media to learn about her friends and interests in order to have more meaningful conversations. Grandparents can regularly video chat with their faraway grands so that when they do visit for Christmas, they already know one another. No need to warm up to each other; the relationship has already been primed by technology. It seems like technology can be a huge blessing when you’re geographically apart—but a curse when you’re sitting in the same room together.

What to do?

If you’re a grandparent who spends any amount of time with your grandchildren, you’re very aware of the challenges. And we’re here to help.

Grandparenting Screen Kids can be read as a stand-alone book or as a companion to our book Screen Kids: 5 Relational Skills Every Child Needs in a Tech-Driven World. If you are the primary caregiver for your grandchild, we believe reading both Grandparenting Screen Kids and Screen Kids will be very beneficial and illuminating.

In the following chapters, you’re going to learn how to help, what to say, and where to begin. Your grandchild needs lots of love. As a grandparent, you are uniquely created to speak life to your grandson or granddaughter through your words of affirmation, physical touch, gifts, time, and acts of service. No video game can provide this kind of love. No social media app comes close. Don’t allow popular culture or the bad behavior of your grandkids to deter you. The wisdom of grandparents is never outdated, and it’s never more needed.